Thread 4968264

Any hamster stories /an/?

>>4968264 (OP)
None from me since I never had one but it always baffled me why rodents are so popular as 'babby's first pet', it almost never ends well for the hamster/gerbil/whatever.
My cousin has a hamster for a month until my aunt accidentally broke its spine when it fall down the stairs. She ended up killing it with a shovel to put it out of its misery

>>4968269
*She was holding it and dropped it

>>4968269
stupid people get hamsters and then stupid things happen to the hamster. it's simple

>>4968264 (OP)
My mom "accidently" let my hamster out into the backyard. Let's just say that I quickly learned just how related to a t-rex chickens really are. There couldn't have been more than two bites to that little rodent, but that didn't stop the flock of +30 hens from attempting to eat him.

>>4968269
>She ended up killing it with a shovel to put it out of its misery
kek. i mean, it could work with an hamster, but shoveling someone to death out of mercy still sounds surreal.

for me, it was poisoning my first hamster with cedar woodchips

wtf do they even sell those for?

Ferrets.
My dad's ex-girlfriend had a 16 year old daughter that decided she wanted ferrets, and she absolutely shouldn't have gotten them because she was a horrible bitch.
Unfixed female, fixed male, one day the female decided to kill the male, my dad ended up being the one to clean the corner of the room and the wall.

one time i asked my father why he was fat and he got really angry so he put my hamster in the oven

>>4968807
Damn, fatso must’ve been REALLY hungry.

>>4968264 (OP)
My cousin's hamster died because of age.
How rare is that speaking of hamsters?

>>4968645
Profit

>>4968820
DONT ENRAGE HIM

my hamster died in an avalanche i live in like Pennsylvania in the mountains and it escaped my house and like 25 minutes later an avalanche came and his body was against the house wall packed with snow BECAUSE WE LIVE NEAR A MOUNTAIN

>>4968277
I mean, I once read a story were a guy farted and his hamster had a heart attack.

When I got a new microwave I played "Pop goes the hamster!"

>>4968264 (OP)
One time i started building a hamster enclosure, then I realized hamsters are illegal in my country.

>>4968264 (OP)
yeah one time I stomped flat 4,000 hamsters in 10 minutes.
that's my hamster story.

>>4968264 (OP)
I convinced my 29 year old friend that hamsters are fragile and retarded and he got a stray cat instead.

When I was a kid I used to have a vicious hamster. It was basically possessed; this one time I was playing with a GI Joe and decided to stick its arm into the cage and the hamster went berserk and tore the arm off the GI Joe

>>4969033
Math works out, that's only 6 ish hamsters a second. Assuming they're lined up in groups of 7, shoulder to shoulder, a decent strides length apart, you could just jog for ten minutes

>>4968269
I don't think its particualrly a rodent problem. Rodents like rats and mice are pretty tough creatures and great pets. Its just hamsters that literally die if you look at them wrong. I don't know why hamsters are a popular pet and not something niche for autists only.

>>4968264 (OP)
off-topic but HTF is so fucking cool

>>4968825
Unheard of

>>4969154
hamsters have shitty genetics from decades of factory line (in)breeding

>>4968798
Did it kill the male cause it was worthless?

I feel like I remember somewhere that Female ferrets literally die or something if they are unfixed and unbreed.

>>4968820
kek

i fell asleep with my first rat and woke up to it comically flattened like a pancake underneath my pillow

>>4969726
kek, comical indeed.

when I was 5 years old, my mother had left my hamsters cage open and my cat at the time mauled it to death. I was at my grandparents house at the time and she bought a replacement hamster with the same fur and I never noticed, she only told me about it when I was like 19

>>4968645
Insect repellant, cedar can do the same job as mothballs.

>>4968911
kek

>>4968911
Calm down there Chris

i almost want to get one just to see what retarded antics will have it end up dead

>>4968264 (OP)
I had one these kind of setups with all the plastic tubes and there was a bit that spins so my aunt thought it would be funny to spin it as fast as possible with the hamster in it

>>4971735
what happend?

my hamster's cage was on a table with legs that had 3 bars which converged into 1 bar at the bottom (basically, make the number 3 with your fingers and the bars were like that)

So one day the hamster breaks out and choked himself to death falling down the little V, I found him later

>>4968264 (OP)
Heh this image made me laugh

>>4971756
It died

>>4968264 (OP)
Not hamster related but I binge read the bad/normie pet owner threads in the archives and the one about the clownfish was so sad, probably made up but still brutal

>>4969726
That happens to human babies.

>>4969726
was he ok?

>>4972020
were they ok?

>>4968820
>anon's father after reading this

>>4969033
>>4969125
based hamster stompers

>>4968820
lmao

>>4969701
Yeah I guess they literally need to get off or their hormones can kill them.

>>4972019
What happened?

>>4968820
That's it YOU are getting in the oven now

>>4968999
>hamsters are illegal in my country.
why?

>>4969726
This happened to my dachshund

>>4968264 (OP)
no, but I have one from /b/

>>4968264 (OP)
When I was 7 my parents were retarded and got me a Russian hamster pair that quickly reproduced. Instead of giving away the extra they for some reason thought it would be nice they kept having babies and got me two extra cages with a bunch of connecting tunnels. A few months later I had like upwards of 30 hamsters running around in too many cages, every one of my classmates had gotten a free hamster and they still didn't the situation had gotten out of control. Meanwhile I was having a ball becoming a hamster breeder.

When summer holidays started I spent much more time everyday with the hamsters and found my first hamster corpse. It turns out all this time some of the hamsters had been occasionally dying off but my parents got them out before I got back from school or when I was sleeping. Over the summer I gave away most of them but a bunch died in horrible ways. One I'll always remember is this one little guy who'd found a small gap between the cage and the hamster wheel attached to it and had poked his head out. Another hamster promptly started running his ass off and the movement decapitated him. Lotta infighting too, probably because of overcrowding.

I also had a 'wild' guinea-pig that always came when I fed it for a few months, it lived in a gutter-pipe by the football stadium and somehow survived there until it got eaten by a dog, same dog caught a bird mid-flight a year later.

>>4972019
I also want to know this story

>>4968807
unironically?

>>4968264 (OP)
My turn : I got a hamster for my now wife cause she likes pets. She's a ethologist so she cares a lot about the size of the cage and shit. The hamster was free roaming in the apparemment (super smart he still knew the cage was it's house, like a bird). One day I was gaming and you know sometimes your chair will eat some cables with the wheels, this but it was the hamster. I thought it was bleeding to death so I put it in a sock to terminate it against a wall. Gf started crying and I didn't do it we went to the vet and in the end it lived a full 4 years. Lil nigga was chill. picrel the chair and the hamster

>>4973926
>>4974128
probably a finding nemo 'kids first fish' story

>>4968264 (OP)
I cooked my snake alive. The lamp was bothering me so I threw a blanket over it.
The next day I had snake jerky.

>>4974139
Wait, are you saying the vet put it down, or they managed to patch it up and it just lived a long life after?
Also I've always wanted to keep a rodent in a huge bioactive terrarium, but I think they'd just eat all the plants

>>4974167
The vet fixed him up. I would've smashed him against a wall for nothing
>bioactive terrarium
I don't throw the garbage very often but no need to be rude.

>>4968264 (OP)
my hamster shat itself to death weird asf
then the other died of heartbreak

>>4972020
>SIDS

>>4968264 (OP)
Russian dwarf hamster escaped and went missing for weeks. We found him jammed behind a drawer, which may or may not have crushed him when it opened. RIP Boris.

>>4972020
Except it's on purpose most of the time

>>4974288
i believe i’m serving a youthful porpoise

>>4968264 (OP)
Was helping my friend clean his hamster's enclosure. After we were done we put it back and left it all to dry a bit outside in the shade.
Got distracted for the next few hours and came back to the enclosure no longer in shade and his hamster dead from heatstroke. Had to throw its corpse out into the compost pile, completely stiff.
A couple of years later we forgot another hamster, this time in a storm. Thankfully it didn't drown but within a year it killed itself by jumping. I like to think it's because the storm traumatized him.

>>4968264 (OP)
I fed my hamster a tomato and it grew a tumor in it's mouth and passed shortly after. I did a shit job buring it and watched out my window as raccoons dug it up and ate it's corpse.

I laid out simple mousetraps near the entrance to deal with mice.
This one night, there was a split opening in my terrarium, about 0.5 cm. My hamster somehow managed to push all that weight aside even further. Fell out of the terrarium. Walked through 3 rooms to end up all the way in the mousetrap that same night. Something the mice avoided all this time.

>>4968264 (OP)
I've had three hamsters. Hamster one got loose and the cat ate him. Hamster two attempted to chew his way out of his cage, swallowed a jagged shard of plastic, and managed to slit his own throat from the inside. Hamster three simply declined to chew on things until one of his teeth grew long enough to puncture his eyeball from below, which then swelled up and subsequently deflated into a wrinkly blob before rotting his brain out. I stopped asking for hamsters.

>>4975573
>I fed my hamster a tomato and it grew a tumor in it's mouth and passed shortly after.
Not too sure those two things are related desu.
>I did a shit job buring it and watched out my window as raccoons dug it up and ate it's corpse.
Ok now those two things are DEFINITELY related, kek

One of the reasons I used to get hamsters is they trigger this weird instinct in my lizard brain. The same sort of instinct that I imagine causes cats to fuck with their prey before killing them. Whenever I played with them I would get strong urges to squeeze or throw them. I never acted on them, but it was a novel feeling that I kind of liked.

All of my hamsters lived happy lives except one. He died of dehydration when I was addicted to xanax for a year and forgot about him. I haven't gotten one since.

I was getting my hamster out to clean the cage after work, but he somehow opened the door to his cage and climbed down to the shelf before the cage. He than chewed clawed through the shelf, leaving a small hole, and fell to his death on the shelf below that. I had a cracked hamster on my PS2.

sorry hamsterbros, I don't want to laugh at your losses but some of these stories are just too funny

>>4975809
I get it. Hamsters are very asinine animals.

>>4975591
That's some suicidal lemming cartoon tier shit

One night I had a pvc pipe up my bootyhole and my hamster got out of its cage and then climbed up the pipe while I wasn't looking.

When I realized what happened it was too late, and the hamster could not be saved. I pulled out the pipe and the hamster jumed out the wrong end into my rectum. I think its still in there somewhere.

>>4975837
meh

Post your hampe. https://webmshare.com/yqJQB
My favorite. She died about 3 years ago and was very sweet.
She was getting old and skinny but still ran over the place.

It was eldritch. It was on the day i was about to move out from there.
I cleaned out the space and i couldn't find her. I lifted one housey and it felt heavy.
Looked inside and there was this thick dry lump of hay,grain, bark, everything conceivable gathered in one tight place.
Pulled it apart with effort and there she was. Her body was mummified, half as flat and hard as a rock.
She dispensed every drop of moisture during that night and rushed to her death.
I still do not fully understand this. Could have been a disease.

>>4975837
>t. Picrel

>>4975982
>Looked inside and there was this thick dry lump of hay,grain, bark, everything conceivable gathered in one tight place.
>Pulled it apart with effort and there she was. Her body was mummified, half as flat and hard as a rock.
Your hamster was a reincarnated Incan virgin.

This thread is wild and OP image is completely accurate. IDK why it's so funny reading about hamsters dying.
>>4971785
I saw a bird that died in a similar way with a tree. The groove was too deep and it's legs couldn't reach the tree. When it exhaled it basically got itself more stuck.

>>4977285
Why didn't you rescue it? Do you enjoy watching animals die?

>>4977296
By the time I saw it, it was already dead. Suffocated + hot day.

>>4977302
Sorry, the way you typed it made it sound like you witnessed the whole thing unfold.
RIP birb

>>4968264 (OP)
My sister had a hamster. It walked off the edge of a counter one day when she had it up there and it fell 3 or 4 feet onto the tile floor and started spasming as a result. Somehow it managed to survive that and die later of natural causes.

>>4977960
I swear these things have no survival instinct

my hamster died of cancer on the day obama was elected and also a massive cunt who hated everyone

>>4968264 (OP)
my friend put his hamster in a floor vent and his dad had to take apart the duct to get it

>>4968264 (OP)
Step brother's hamster 'almost' would have died of starvation, cat predation or getting crushed after the cage was left unlocked. he found it hunkering down in the corner of his messy bedroom 5 days? 4? Not sure these days how long it was but he found the little bugger looking worse for wear in a den of scrounge. We'd searched the day off the disapeerance and cleaned the room but didn't find the hamster first go. Hamster def sustained itself on stale crumbs and seeds on the carpet.


Was really tempted to say that the cat got him to better fit in with all the goofy stories but nope, we're just to good at keeping our lobotomy rats cooped up to have anything more exciting then a mediocre escape incident.

Had a class hamster in elementary school. It was dying one day ( either age, stress or both), nothing special, but in my desperation I tried sticking hamster vitamins in it's mouth to save it. Despite the effort it just died.

>>4974218
reminds me of that theory that SIDS is just the mother going nuts and killing her baby

Hamsters seem like the ultimate combination of fragile and stupid. You feel sorry for them, but not too much because they are stupid.
>>4978409
>his hamster didn't even jump from on top of the cabinet directly into a running blender
>>4978470
Yes it is. That plus heavy metal injections.

>>4978555
>>4978470
absolute bullshit
https://www.sciencedirect.com/topics/psychology/back-to-sleep-campaign

>>4978559
I find it interesting that SIDS takes place most often in underdeveloped countries. Ones with enough infrastructure to say, "woah hey lots of babies are dying," but not zero infrastructure where people throw their babies down a cliff and nobody says anything.
https://desapublications.un.org/policy-briefs/un-desa-policy-brief-no-159-demographic-outlook-small-island-developing-states

Idk why people get hamsters when you have much better pets rodents like guinea pigs that won't fucking die if you sneeze too hard towards them

>>4978657
Losing a pet is an important lesson for kids. Might as well make it a cheap lesson.

>>4978559
bruh you don't even know what you don't know
https://files.catbox.moe/5ip1ml.png

>>4978555
>That plus heavy metal injections.
Schizophrenic or low IQ?

>>4974126
Epic

>>4978716
>hamsterin mikroon
>mikro sun hamsterilla
glass the baltics(?)
glass them all

>>4978743
Look up Thimerosal.

>be pet hampter
>weekday no one home
>stupidly big habitrail setup
>one of the tubes falls off because it wasn't supported well
>sweet freedom
>cram fat body under basement door
>run directly into the open sump pump pit
>drown
>leave bloated wet corpse for family to find.

>>4968269
I think it's probably because 'babby's first pet' is not expected to end well; and this way it's 'only' a rodent rather then a Dog or Cat being killed by the incompetence or negligence of a schoolkid.

>>4978791
An honorable warrior death for a hamster

>>4978791
Sumpin happened to da hampter

I have a rat story.
So we had chickens and they (and the food) was attracting rodents and skunks.
One day a female rat got in a cage, it tripped, and she tried to squeeze her way out through the wire.
Her fat ass got stuck at the hips, ended up taking her out of her misery with a .22lr.
She wouldn't have made it anyways, it was cutting her all the way around, blood ect.

>>4978788
look up not being grifted by aggressive retards

>>4979069
>Thiomersal, is an organomercury compound
>Thimerosal is a vaccine additive
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccine-safety/about/thimerosal.htmlbb
I think you are the one who is being grifted by retards with a fancy coat.

>>4969432
based

>>4968467
Does anyone have that webm of a chicken hunting a mouse? I can't find it on my phone

>>4979077
I wanted to call you a retard like two weeks ago but the site went down. Anyway I still have the tab open but I forgot what I was gonna say other than that you're a retard

>>4979327
I replied with no text, and my captcha was
>NRGAR
This isn't a joke.

>>4968264 (OP)
Hampster as a kid, it's ill having barely moved for a week. I open the top of its little house but don't want to put my fingers under it incase guts. So I 'gently' tug at the fur on its back, trying to flip it. The hampster didn't flip, but the skin from all across it's back peeled off to reveal the darkest, greasiest looking flesh imaginable.
That thing was flayed (half) alive.
Awful.

>>4968269
Rip lil nigga

>>4968825
The platinum trophy for hamsters, like you almost never hear that. It's always shit straight of out a happy three friends episode or final destination movie.

Your cousin must have had a good sense of common sense for keeping the hamster alive for so long.

>>4971912
The hamster got liquified or not?

being a hamster must be hell

>>4975837
NUSOIS...

>>4975837
The exact same thing happened to me once except I'm the hamster

>>4968972
cia level of sadism

>>4968820
LMAO!

>>4978716
I also speak gibberish

>>4968264 (OP)
ugh...why'd you have to remind me of that goddamn cartoon? i forget it existed, and i wish it stayed that way. it wasn't even funny or clever or anything, it was just edgy and shock value. perfect for edgy teens but not much else. if you've seen one happy tree friends episode you've seen them all

>>4968264 (OP)
I had two dwarf hamsters. One was always weak and frail and died quietly in its house one night. The other was aggressive and violent as fuck and eventually we had to put it down because it had a large tumor or swelling on its face. Don't know what kind of illness it was but that was the only time a pet died and I didn't get particularly sad. It was such a violent creature I couldn never pick it up and it had to be kept separate from the other hamster otherwise it would kill it.

When I was a kid our dog mauled my 2 hamsters cause I left my door cracked while they were out on the bedroom floor. I had left to go to the bathroom and I come back to him standing in the middle of the room with one of them in his mouth and the other laying there dead. Learned my lesson after that.

I can't stop watching those videos of hamsters being fed to frogs.

>>4980267
Never even heard of that

>>4980015
>edgy and shock value
That was the point

>>4968264 (OP)
i dont have one, i only came because of the mention of happy tree friends

>>4968820
alright get in

>>4980446
i know that perfectly well. doesn't mean i have to like it. even if it was the intention i'm still not a fan. similar to how a movie can be intentionally bad, but just because it's intentional doesn't make it not bad

>>4968264 (OP)
God FUCKING damnit. This fucking ancient post of some fat dumbass chick who talks on Facebook about how much she misses her hamsters and is going to get their names tattooed on her wrists and all her friends saying like "Heeeey, maybe another tattoo would be better for you."

With how often the fuckers just die, she'd be covered by now.

>>4980267
What? Aren’t hamsters way too big?

>>4982215
When the frogs are pacmans? Far from it.

>>4979477
let's say my aunt apologized to me in the best possible way

>>4982235
Molested you?

>>4974139
lmao
https://youtu.be/-h5WrWncDZw?si=mYBObkBGKw--3qFE&t=135

>>4982374
first reply best reply

what happened to the tick orb guy?

>>4984160
i dont want to know

>>4976671
this is why i come here. you get crap but sometimes you get something like this

>>4984160
The WHAT?!

>>4984160
See >>4985303

>>4968269
my retard parents got me a guinea pig when i was 5 or 6 and it didn't turn out well. i don't like remembering it.

>>4974139
>pic
stacked hamsters or just very tall?

>>4968264 (OP)
When my mom was young she used ro have a hamster. The hamster bit her finger and it took some shaking off to make her let the finger go. Than the hamster gave birth and ate its babies. Then it died but my mom still holds resentment for that hamster for biting her finger.

>>4975573
looks like rigby found something to eat

>>4977962
we need to make these things less retarded and more stronger, just like those lemmings that angrily squeak at you while jumping a fuck ton of times.

>>4977971
he couldn't handle obamna ;(

>>4979477
How strong do you think my aunt is?

>>4982235
Also this fag ain't me, she was fat and ugly

>>4984278
His threads were cool

>>4979077
low iq post

>>4977971
dude I think Obama gave your hamster cancer

>>4977971
obama called in a drone strike on your hamster

>>4968820
fucking kek

>>4968820
Hamster meat probably tastes bad

When I got a cat, my sister got jealous and asked for a pet as well. She got a russian hamster but never took care of it, so I did. It was not in a good shape due to neglect, but it got better when I took care of it and ended living almost four years.
It was lively and one morning it was stiff from rigor mortis.
RIP

>>4980719
did she sit on all of them?

>>4968264 (OP)
I would grab the hamster and I would throw it really high and then catch him and he would freeze and stop moving for a while and I thought it was a fun game we played together turns out the hamsters were dying every week and my mom kept replacing them I'm fucking hamster Hitler or something I have no idea how many little guys I killed

>>4973991
She musta crawled under there for warmth

>>4991349
Fuck forgot pic like a RETARD

>>4968264 (OP)
I know a hamster that had a small tumor on it's head, the vet thought it was not connected to the skull so he took a little vacuum extractor to take it out.
Spoiler, it was connected with the skull and he sucked the tumor, part of the skull and the entire brain out in a fraction of a second.
The operation cost their dad 88 bucks.

>>4968264 (OP)
I jad a hamster as a kid, he dieded in his sleep.
A friend of mine had two hamsters, one skinned the other one out of anger.

>>4991349
>>4991350
Man, I've read the line and instantly knew where it was from

>>4974040
Sad

>>4991353
I wouldnt pay for that

>>4968264 (OP)
Syrian Hamster, lived to be 3, started breathing weird. Took her to the vet, they said she had growths in her lungs that were going to grow until they suffocated her. No real way of treating them, so it was a waiting game until she eventually died. We all decided probably for the best to put her down. RIP Chili you were a damn good hamster.

>>4968264 (OP)
First one died of a stroke
2nd one died when it got loose in my garage and my dogs got to it before I could.

My hamsters ate their babies before I knew they could do that
I was like 8, so it was my first gore experience

>>4968269
The average person has such little respect for animals it's actually kind of baffling. I used to work in a chain pet shop in the UK, similar to Pets at Home but not, and I would always refuse hamster sales to people who didn't meet standards as minimum as a snake rack. Literally the easiest minimum standards to meet. I got so many angry parents who wanted to buy a pet 'for their kid' it's insane. Within 2 seconds of talking to these people I could tell they didn't even do one single google search about the care of a hamster, gerbil, mouse, etc.
Fish were worse though, so much worse. I got called all sorts of names by fully grown adults who were so offended that they couldn't have a goldfish in a 20l tank. If this animal isn't worth a google search, WHY the FUCK would I sell it to you? I don't give a fuck if your kid's birthday is ruined (real thing someone said to me), you're not putting this living animal through a slow, painful death for 2 seconds of entertainment.

>>4978697
Kill yourself faggot

>>4980267
You need to be lobotomized.

>>4974126
I had a similar problem with dwarf hamsters but it was because the pet store that sold it to my family didn’t separate them (she also had mites) so she came pregnant and had like 8 kids and because dwarf hamsters are tiny we didn’t sex them correctly so long story short we ended up with a lot of fucking dwarf hamsters we couldn’t take care of and the local pet shops wouldn’t take anymore so it ended with a trash bag genocide in the dead of winter for the dwarf hamsters they were also bitches who would assault you if you tried to pick them up, this was my sisters choice of pet I had a regular hamster who had a long full life even if he spent most of his time being a fatass in one part of his cage despite me trying to ensure he had plenty of space and things to do

>>4995925
>The average person has such little respect for animals it's actually kind of baffling
The average person has little in the way of respect for other people. So, imagine the amount of respect they give for something that's a) not human and therefore doesn't trigger the elementary caveman survival of the species instincts, b) can't meaningfully defend itself or otherwise meaningfully stop you from doing whatever the fuck you want to it.

I've always said that the way people treat animals is the way they'll treat you given half the chance.

>>4996254
>he spent most of his time being a fatass in one part of his cage despite me trying to ensure he had plenty of space and things to do
whoa he's just like me!

>>4979474
Is there a Fat Albert anime I’m not aware of?

>>4974139
>it lived a full 4 years
No way in hell it was the same hamster.

>>4975982
Was it hot in your place when she died? I once watched an adult grey squirrel mummify in less than a day.

>>4968264 (OP)
My cousins hamster he had as a kid became obese. They came back home one day and found him dead, stuck in one of the tubes in his cage.
Also I have no idea how peoples hamsters die such awful deaths. I still have my dwarf after 3 years. She's not as active but still kicking and being the grump she always was.

>>4968264 (OP)
Our hamster Oreo escaped from his cage and found his way into the HVAC system. I lived in the basement, where the blower was. One night I kept hearing this banging sound. I told my dad and we turned off the AC and the sound stopped. HVAC guy came the next day and left a note "removed dead hamster" on the bill.

>>4998096
>I have no idea how peoples hamsters die such awful deaths.
They are just very small. So a simple fall breaks their back. Or they trip on a piece of tape and their skin gets ripped off. They seem more domesticated and less tough compared to mice/rats.

>>4991353
this nigga got the dust buster

>>4974126
this does actually happen in happy tree friends

>this fucking thread
lmaoooooo

>>4968820
damn

>>4968825
>>4968825
sure it wasn't hibernating?

Most of these posts are
>I didn't realise hamsters should NEVER be with other hamsters, so they just died due to fighting/fucking when they shouldn't

Hamsters are NOT social animals. In the wild, they fuck and and have babies and they all fuck off from one another. They're more like octopi.

>>4977971
thanks obama

i only had 1 hamster and she/he lived like 2 or 3 years if i remember correctly. Her name was Harriet Houdini because she ALWAYS found a way to escape her fucking enclosure. She'd chew though one, then another, then she found out how to unlatch the third from the inside. I remember one particularly notable occasion where she was missing for weeks, we looked everywhere but couldn't find her. I wanna say easily 3 weeks, maybe even more, we found out she'd crawled under my bed, back into the corner, and burrowed into the carpet. No idea how she survived that long or what she was eating but she was still doing just fine. She lived a pretty long life and died of natural causes in the night. Either that or she was hibernting. Idk.

>>4969154
>I don't know why hamsters are a popular pet
It's entertaining when they die in whimsical ways.

>>4991282
kek
I wonder what they thought at the store when your mother came in for the fifth identical hamster in as many weeks.

>>4974139
>I thought it was bleeding to death so I put it in a sock to terminate it against a wall.
Keked hard. Instantly thought of Filthy Frank using a long sock >>4982401

>>4968264 (OP)
When I was little I'd spin my friends hamster on its wheel so fast it would have diarrhea.

>>5004110
Are you by coincidence from india?

>>4968269
They are cheap and disposable, basically pet fast food. Little Billy fucking killed him?. Welp, just throw him into the trash and go buy another.

>>5003369
My rat got cannibalized his cage mate. "Social" shouldn't be taken for anything more than it's zoological meaning.

>>4974126
>A few months later I had like upwards of 30 hamsters
Are hamsters a viable food source/toys for cats?

>>4968264 (OP)
Yeah how did you know? My cat ate one and left its head in my sister's bedroom. She insisted it was my responsibility to clean it, but I refused.

>>5003369
>>5005711
Yes that did happen to me as well. And on another time my dog ate one out of my hand while I was showing it to my friend.

>>4995925
You're supposed to keep hamsters in a snake rack?

>>5006183
Sounds like your responsibility

>>5006183
It was 100% your responsibility, and you're a shitty owner and brother.

>>4974139
Shut up reddit

>>4968825
poor thing was unable to die in some retarded way, it'll never get into valhamster now

cousins friend microwaved hers and it splattered all over the glass on the door

>>4968820
Kek

>>5006223
>>5006239
That was 30 years ago, Teresa. You're broke and single. Let it go.

>>4996254
>dwarf hamsters
ive heard they're supposed to be less apt to taming than normal hamsters. Then again everyone told me hamsters didn't like being touched but I had a few that just loved climbing around in my shirt while I played video games as a kid.

>>4975591
kek, my Dad has been having trouble with snakes so he put out bait in a basic falling box trap. He's had the trap up for two weeks now and it's just alternating between catching our cat and this chill hedgehog who's always fast asleep in the box and dgaf about being moved. If he had a hamster he'd probably have spent a night in the trap as well.

>>4978657
hamsters are cheap and readily available everywhere on Earth, they take up less space than a guinea pig and parents mistakenly believe they're a good choice of harmless pet for a small child. Guinea pigs don't scurry as much so they're not as entertaining, you are right that they're probably a better choice of pet though.

>>4979700
I wonder what their life in the wild is like, they're so small and fragile I have a hard time believing they managed to survive.

>>5006631
The fragility of most living things is insane, take humans, drink the wrong water or eat the wrong food and you’ll shit yourself to death, get poked too hard or smacked too hard, you die, how anything manages to survive long enough to reproduce with all the mundane things that could kill them is impressive

>>5006631
I doubt modern hamsters ever survived in the wild. Squirrels and rats are way more durable.
>>5006685
True. I saw a video where a cop was pushed on his back onto soft grass and it broke his spine and paralyzed him.

>>4980267
you should probably stop

>>4971910
me too!

>>4968264 (OP)
I never owned a hamster but reading this thread is fucking hilarious. I really need to get one of these little guys

>>4974217
>my hamster shat itself to death weird asf
>then the other died of heartbreak

my grandparents went the same way

>>4968264 (OP)
Had two dwarf hamsters when I was a kid. Speedy and Gonzales. Gonzales died pretty quickly, but Speedy went on living for a while.
One day, he managed to get out of his cage. We had cats and dogs as well, so figured he was dead. RIP Speedy.
Two or three weeks later, my mum is giving the kitchen a deep clean. She moved the fridge to clean behind it, and there was Speedy. Alive and well. Must have been living off of crumbs of dropped food, or god knows what.
Back in his cage. He lived for a long time after that. We got a more secure cage.
Smart little fuckers.

>>4968264 (OP)
When I was a kid I remember being in my room playing with my transformers. Now for some dumb reason I had my hamster out with me on the floor. So all was going good until I accidentally knocked over one of my larger toys causing it to fall right on top of my hamster. I quickly moved it out the way only to find my hamster limp and twitching. I instantly put it back in his cage and watched it twitch until it was motionless after a couple of minutes. I didn't want to tell my parents what actually happened because I knew I was gonna be in trouble so I just told them I found my hamster like that. I still feel kind of guilty till this day.

>>5008563
wild hamsters are very much a thing. they're not any more fragile than any other small rodent, it just happens that a human house is not a particularly safe environment for small animals.

>>4980719
this?

>>5006258
lmao

>>4968264 (OP)
White male hamster and female gray hamster had a whole fucking litter of babies. Gray hamster ate all of them except one and only heads remained. The surviving one grew up and ate the white hamster.

>>5014063
Like something out of ancient Greek mythology

>>4974130
No I’m sure Anon’s dad was only the hamster ironically

My two hamsters died of old age, they were rather adorable but ended up attacking each other after a few years.

This thread has me crying from laughter, hamster deaths are so unbelievably retarded and comical.

Only hamster I had lived almost up to age 4. You could tell he got old, its hair got fuzzier and it wasn't as active. RIP

>>4996254
>this was my sisters choice of pet I had a regular hamster who had a long full life
Literally my sister and me, she had two dwarf hamsters, both female, according to the pet store, turns out they were in fact a breeding pair and that she may have killed several of babies while cleaning out the cage from time to time. They were horrible pets since they tried to bite everyone, until they were flung down the stairs after biting my sister.

I had two big female ones of some breed that I can't remember, I loved those two fuckers since they never bit anyone, and my father built some security measures for the kitchen so that I could let them roam free from time to time while watching them. They absolutely loved crawling all over me and into my shirt. They also scared the shit out of our cat, he'd flee every time he saw one of them. They died of old age since I apparently wasn't a shitty owner as a child.

>>4968264 (OP)
Mine got killed by my retarded cousin who put it in the ball and spun it around until it died.

Anyways here's one of my favorite mandalore gaming stories
https://youtu.be/i6UrTBEaVz4?si=vczjdIAbh1jR4h1o

>>4968807
>>4968820

>>4969726
t.megamind

>>5014063
>>5014096
>Gender swapped, hamster Disney remake of the Greek myth of Kronos.

When I was a kid we got a hamster from Petsmart and he died like the 2nd week. He was sick. RIP buddy

>>4975778
That's probably for the best, anon.

>>4975778
>Tell me about the hamsters, George

>>4975778
this feels like the origin of those fluffy torture comics

>>5018877
Kek

>>4971288
i'd say that this robbed you of proper mourning she's awful for it, and is kind of fucked, but the fact that she ended up coming clean to you unprompted at a reasonable age and the amount of effort she went through to cover her tracks and prevent you from suffering because of her own mistake showed that she at least cares a lot about you and what you think of her. good mom, all things considered.

>>5014063
>At last, the usurper is born

after all this years i finally have to write this down what i have done just for therapeutic measures on a mongonlian basket weaver forum, but her we go:

i had a teddy hamster as a kid. Aggresive as fuck, one day he was gone, i dont remember how he died. years later my little sister bought another one, was also aggresive first but then she tamed her. escaped one or two times but nothing happened. after almost two and a half years she was just dead one day. a few months later i then bought her a cappucino coloured male teddy hamster at a reptile expo -i dont know if he was supposed to be a feeder, but he was a very sweet and nice animals since day one until he also died peacefully in his sleep after almost three years. then she got a dsungarian dwarf and nothing bad happened to it for almost three years, than that poor little thing developed a nasty infection in one of her cheek pouches. i pleaded my sister and my mom to go to the vet but they did drama the fuck out about it so i decided spontaneously to release it from its suffering by myself but not in a good or ethical or professional way. at first i wanted to suffocate it. couldnt do it. then i wanted to beat it to death or break its neck something. i also couldnt do it. it was clearly suffering more each hour and both my sister and mom werent at home so out of desparation and retardation i put the poor little guy into a ham jar and put it in the fridge at -18 Degrees Celsius. I absolutely knew that this is cruel to vertebrates, even reptiles and illegal and shit but i couldnt help myself and i wasnt prepared for the drama with my sister and all the crying and shit. after half an hour i checked and she was already frozen and stiff. put her little corpse back in the cage for my sister to find. she was almost happy the hamster died at home and not on a cold ans sterile table at the vet, but holy fuck i she knew what i have done she would hate me to this day. this was fourteen years ago.

>>5020513
Woof, it probably would have been more ethical to chuck it at brick wall.
Oh well, what's done is done.

>>5020513
That's fair especially if they are unwilling to take it to a vet. That's how PETA does it to animals btw. You could have suffocated it in a plastic bag too.

I know this makes me sound like a bad owner but when my hamster escapes he likes to crawl into bed with me
I have a ghetto rigged lid setup so sometimes I mess up when I put it back and he gets out. I'm just happy he sticks to the same spots like my closet and climbing into bed. He climbed my bookshelf too before I only heard him because he was knocking shit off. He truly does not give us a single fuck

>>4968269
For future reference, is there a more humane way to put a small animal out of its misery using common household objects or chemicals? Preferably methods that don't require splattering it's brain matter everywhere.

>>4968825
My Panda hamster lived a full lifespan and I just found her cold and not waking up one day.
I loved her, though she might have murdered the black hamster she shared a cage with because he just went entirely missing one day.

>>5012236
Very similar experience to you. hamster disappeared, a week later my mom screams from the kitchen because the hamster walked over her foot. She had a bunch of gobstopper candies crammed in her cheek pouches. Lived a long time after that.

>>4968264 (OP)
Had a couple guinea pigs growing up . My grandma mainly cared for them but we loved them dearly.. they lived a full life (like 5 maybe 6)) and I remember crying like a baby when both died (they died about a month apart from each other). Great little pets though, would do it again as an adult but it's just too sad to deal with the death. I loved those little cute things and they probably started my life as a genuine animal lover

My grandfather put my aunt’s hamster in the garbage disposal. It was already dead and he just wanted to get rid of it. I don’t know why he didn’t bury it or throw it in the trash, I suspect he wanted to test out the garbage disposal, but I don’t know.

>>4978743
we could all use a little more heavy metal in our lives

>>5021986
>dig hole
>place critter in hole
>put dirt back in hole
>give a few good stomps onto dirt where hole was

>>5021690
He's going to get flattened one day.

>>5023211
Utterly Lynchian

>>4968264 (OP)
Actually our cat does have kind of a hampster story. He was like super dumb due to some illness and he got run over by a fucking harvester.

>>4969692
Wouldn't that be mitigated by domesticating wild hamsters?

>>4968264 (OP)
Hamsters are rodents and rodents are nocturnal, but working single mothers are not, so when that hamster would be running its little heart out in its squeaky wheel at 2am, it would really piss off my mom. Her solution was to leave it outside at night. This was usually fine, as the weather in our neck of the woods was almost always pleasant, but one night there was a surprise cold front, and that little hamster froze to death...or so we thought. You see the roborovski hamster is no stranger to cold weather, and for thousands of years they have hibernated during those times, going into a deep state of torpor to survive the cold snaps. To the uninformed, this just looks like death, so with a heavy heart we buried our hamster. Alive.
This would not be the end of the anon family hamster though. You see my brother was not privy to this whole ordeal and not at the age where he could understand death, so thinking she could pull a fast one on him my mother attempted to seamlessly replace the hamster. We got a second one and returned to the same routine, being more mindful of the weather this time. Turns out there's more things to kill hamsters out there than the weather though. One morning my mother went outside to fetch our hamster and screamed, because instead of a cute rodent she saw a large black ratsnake that had crammed itself through the bars and subsequently failed to get out with a new hamster sized lump in its belly.

>>5024972
Lmao. What a rollercoaster

>>5024972
How tragic that nobody ever informed your family of grease or lubricant

I mean, after all, the saying is
The squeaky wheel gets the grease
not fed to rat snakes and buried alive

>>4975135
You LIKE to think that?

>>4978716
>I put my sister's hamster in the microwave. I don't know if it will die there.
>How big was your hamster's microwave?

>>4985607
what did you do to him

>>4968820
LMAOOO

>>4968820
Yikes

>>5026463
finnish uses suffixes instead of prepositions and word order to tell you which part of a sentence is what
>I put | sister (genitive suffix, basically 's in english) | hamster (accusative suffix) | microwave(illative suffix)
i.e.
>I put my sister's hamster in the microwave
the accusative suffix tells you the hamster is the thing being put, and the illative suffix tells you the microwave is what it's being put in
the joke is the accusative suffix and the genitive suffix sound the same in modern finnish, so you can also read it as
>I put | sister (accusative) | hamster (genitive) | microwave (illative)
i.e.
>I put my sister in the hamster's microwave

>>5021986
A vet visit is like less than 50 dollars don't be a miser

from /v/

>>4978470
>>4978559
Yeah i've always found it strange how damn near every single case happens at night time when babies are known for their irregular "sleep whenever I want" sleeping cycle meaning there is PLENTY of chance SIDS should happen throughout the day, you'd really expect a 50 50-ish split but 90%+ of the cases are at night, perfect time to get away with murder

>>5021986
The way I used to do it with alive but nonviable mice the cat brought in was I'd take a screwdriver and put the bar across the back of the mouse's neck/skull and then you sharply push it down and forward while pulling the lower body back in the opposite direction. Look up cervical dislocation and you'll probably find videos with that and other methods of how snake owners do it. I'm guessing it'll work for most small rodents at least.

>>4974217
these were also the two leading causes of death for humans until like 100 years ago

>>4968264 (OP)
"passed"
JUST SAY "DIED," FAGOT.

>>5028202
Truth is that every living thing kills it's own babies sometimes. Female. Male. Does not matter. Killing babies was sorta accepted by society in a "we'll look the other way, just don't do it too openly" for the longest time. And before that it was done openly. Really only Christianity with its obsession for population expansion changed this.

>>5027987
a new hamster is cheaper

>>4968264 (OP)
I was cleaning his cage and put him in a little decorative tin for a bit, turns out that tin had chocolate in it before it was emptied out and he died from the chocolate fumes/residue soon after returning to his cage.

Another time was with my sister's hamster, he was running around in a little playpen area and our cat fucking lunged and latched onto him the instant he saw him. She pried his tiny body out of his mouth and sat there crying over him and I reacted a lot like this scene from family guy
https://youtu.be/mg_weeXxtkE?si=KSgzqoqKqCNrr55-&t=18

>>5021986
Shoot it

>>5029633
It's about respecting your animal's life cmon. They gave you so much comfort it's the least you can do. Seriously small animal vets are very kind and affordable. So what if they are inexpensive animals they have big souls and matter

My hamster is such a big bag fat piece of shit I swear he has a guinea pig ancestor he thinks he is stealthy when he escapes but he sounds like a herd of fucking elephants. Boombalatty

>>4968264 (OP)
I had a hamster we kept in a plastic cage, because we had cats. We were worried they would claw at her feet otherwise. We also used to put the cage upstairs in a bedroom when we were away, just as a precaution. One day we came home from a day at the beach and upon checking on the hamster we found she had ate a hole through the plastic and threw herself out of the window. It was two floors high. She died on impact.

>>5029926
there would be nothing left to bury

>>5029503
You are retarded and you know nothing about history.

>>4995925
Reminds me of the aquarium my sister had. I dropped a half opened chestnut in there because i wanted to see if they float. It didnt. Those chestnuts where lying all round our house bc she wanted to make these stick animals with chestnuts and matches but never followed through. Anyway next day the fish were all dead.

Damn, this thread made me remember my dancing rabbit i had 25+ years ago. Totally forgot about that.
So there was a small enclosure with chickenwire fence at my grandmas. Only a few square meters big. There used to be a couple of chickens in there but it was empty then. One day a rabit was just in there. No idea anymore if it got there himself or if i put it in there or i opened the gate, it ran in and i quickly closed it… anyway, I claimed it for me and called him Tony. My sister had a white rabbit in a seperate cage back then - and now also I had a rabbit! I was happy. Tony was big and energetic and absolutely on fire, running around in the enclosure and doing wild moves. It looked like he was dancing. I was absolutely amazed and told everyone about my dancing rabbit Tony. Next day in elementary school I, of course, told the whole class about him and talked at lenghts about it. Some kids did not believe me and the girls all wanted to see the amazing dancing rabbit. So after school me the neighbour kids I went to school with came directly to my/grandmas place to see the Rabbit with their own eyes. So we went to the caged aread and Tony lied in the middle of the cage of it, not dancing but being fucking dead.
Turns out you should not put wild rabbits into a small fenced aread because they panic and run wild and die of exhaustion or heart attacks or something.

>>4968264 (OP)
>Any hamster stories /an/?
Reading this thread is like a horror story (the good kind). Makes me feel like a freak because mine grew old and died of age. Buried him under what is now a tree in the family garden.

RIP Flash, your brother may have been a violent bitey dick but you were always cool.

>>5033296
>>5033310
These stories are hilarious

>>5021986
Put it in a sock. Smashing the brain is the most ethical one if you don't want to pay a vet. Fuck the retards who chuck animals info the freezer because they think hibernation works that way.

My hamster bit my mom and she let it starve to death

My uncle had a scale model guillotine that would cut carrots and other veg...

>>5033461
My uncle had scales too Anon

>>4968264 (OP)
I had some hamsters and a gerbil for a bit. You put them in the ball and then they roll around the house, spreading their piss and shit. They lived for a while until they died. I didn't get anymore. Hamsters are hardly alive anyway.

>>5033461
My Uncle had one of these. :'(
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dROmh46Ap30

>>5033296
Here's one where somebody basically accidentally turned their aquarium water into seltzer water.
https://desuarchive.org/an/thread/3670722/#3670940

>>4982401
This guy is a critically acclaimed musical artist btw.

>>4968264 (OP)
when I was around 10 or so I was staying with my cousins who had a few pet hamsters. Usually they wouldn't be allowed out of their cage but I was begging to play with them since I never had any pets before so they made an exception for me. We decided to play with them out on the balcony since it had a sliding door to prevent the hamsters from escaping into the house. As we play with (read: torment) the hamsters one of the fuckers decides to bite me while I'm trying to hold it and I reactively jerk my hand and send it flying through the grating of the balcony fence. Did I mention we were in an apartment complex eighteen stories up? Fly high little guy

>>5035787
How did everyone react?

>>5027724
Language is fun.

>>4995925
If you had to buy your dumbass kid a pet that YOU will have to take care off, you too would buy one that dies quickly.

>>4968264 (OP)
As a kid I had a habit of sleeping with the window open. I did it once at -25c and accidentally froze my hamster to death :(

I love this thread

>>5039337
>-25c
Did you survive?

>>5041264
No he died too

>work at pet shop
>one hamster seriously injured the other, bite it's head and ripped it's leg apart, resulting in an open fracture
>never practiced cervical dislocation and worried of fucking it up, so ended up putting it in the freezer, as is the common practice in the shop

>>5020513
>so i decided spontaneously to release it from its suffering by myself
spontaneously and suffering are two words which should never be in the same sentence

>>5031339
That's the point

>>4978470
I'm relatively sure that it's women going crazy and killing their babies. It's just that, as a society, we need to collectively look the other way or else we'd have some really uncomfortable things to discuss.
It's too common to stop but too brutal to acknowledge, so we just have to learn to cope with it and not think about it too much.

>>4968264 (OP)
My neighbour keeps getting me to put down dying hamsters for her. It started when she saw me dealing with a mouse my cat caught, then a few days later she had me put down her daughter's hamster. It happened again not long after, which I initially thought was just bad luck. I've put down five of them in the last year.

>>5020513
Probably would've been better to put it in a plastic bag and whip it against a wall. It's how I put down my mouse. It's pretty quick. Smart to freeze him though, leaves no trace.

I just want to say before it disappears that this thread has been a blast

>>5043376
It's cringe teenage boy shit and you should feel bad