Thread 5001711

ITT: we design new dog breeds

I designed a dog to protect beehives from honey thieves and wild beasts

>>5001711 (OP)
make a woolly dog with the woolly mammoth genetics
>dogs can already be woolly
make them woolly-er

>>5001732
I like the idea of this dog

>>5001711 (OP)
What kind of dog breed would a zoophile make?

>>5001711 (OP)
This is a fun thread and your drawing is wonderful. Your bee guardian dog would need to be able to fend off/ kill bears. Maybe 135+ would be a better weight.

>>5001736
>>4999667

>>5001736
I like dobermans

Oh cool, SCP threads are back

>>5001724
hah

>>5001724
Kek’d

>>5001749
I like this one

>>5001748
This is a mouse with friend written on it

>>5001799
>convenient lifespan
lmao

>>5001724
Ah yes, the nigger dog
>he loves to smile at his owner and everyone he encounters
>doesn't look as evil when you put a flower crown on his head
>he has never bitten anyone before, beside me, my kids, and everyone he ever met
>only a couple of isolated incidents every week
>it's your fault you were bitten
>pointing out any fault in the dog is racism

>>5001711 (OP)
why not make a dog that can withstand a beehive being grown around it

>>5002283
A dog where the bees could live in its fur and make honey would be cool

>>5001711 (OP)
Is there a bee related reason its back legs are longer than its front legs?

>>5001799
i'll take this one.

>>5001750
Lost @ tongue storage compartment

>>5002925
that's just cus he's a lil weird guy

>>5001736
Doesn't zoopphile just mean lover of animals? It's not really sexual

>>5003005
esl moment

>>5001732
>>5001734
wasn’t there a native american dog like that?

>>5003005
Yes. There's also nothing wrong with letting people know you're one too. You might find other animal lover friends :D!

>>5002925
It's an artist error :(

The front and back legs would be roughly the same size

fun thread concept

>>5003132
Based criminal dog

>>5003009
>>5003055
Are you fucking kidding me? I had zoophile listed on my dating profile

>>5003132
nice

>>5003132
I'd get one

>>5003132
Why don't more dog breeds have speed stripes?

>>5003005
>>5003229
holy shit

Anti gooning dog
I need help because I am trying to set a new record of 1 day for semen retention, halp

>>5003132
>you now remember McGruff the crime dog
Sadly, he was more concerned with preventing crime than committing it

>>5003229
this is insanely funny please tell me it's true

>>5003830
At 186 cm (probably closer to 90 if you exclude the big spike and tail) it's going to be pretty hard to pick it up when it's docile.

what could this one be good for anons where do we put him

mine ended up like a mary sue :\

>>5006851
I don't see any reason why we can't milk dogs now

>>5001749
>>5003853
these are the funniest because they're so retarded yet seem plausible.

>>5007163
>Enjoys biting
keked

I was inspired by the conversation about a dog that acts as a beehive

>>5009021
Does it shit bees?

>>5009083
what's stopping us from making our own seals/sea lions by selectively breeding dogs to be waterproofed and good at swimming?

>>5009063
sometimes
farts work like a beekeeper's smoke

>>5006982
Dog milk ain't tasty
Or so I've been told...

>>5009099
I feel like Newfoundland dogs are about halfway there. With a dedicated breeding program we could turn them into super seals.

>>5010268
>no legs
>clearly has legs
wtf did anon mean by this

>>5001711 (OP)
>Beekeeping dog looks like a bee
Do you think Border Collies look like sheep?

>>5011939
It's a guard dog, not a herding dog. While sheep dogs are supposed to instill some fear in sheep and control their movement bees would stay in their hive, fly away or sting.

>>5011939
If you think you can design a better bee dog, let's see it

>>5006935
ULLA

>>5003229
Fucking hell i knew going on /an/ today would be a good idea

>>5001711 (OP)
How would it be able to make a buzzing sound?

>>5001724
danker beef???
I cant find the bideo wtf !!

>>5001724
I want to let you know that I laughed really hard at this.

>>5012263
I assume it'd make it the same way cats pur

>>5006935
>hunting wolves is never over

>>5003853
lmao

>>5006503
How do you play fetch with this thing?
AT4 ball launcher?!

>>5017144
Based. We need more dogs with prehensile tails.

>>5017451
White woman spotted.

>>5017732
>explodes on death
You now remember the most infamous post in /an/ history

What a beautiful set of digits: >>5017777 lol

>>5017775
>bomberanians

>>5017775
I love how happy the lil exploding pom looks.

New dog breed just dropped

>>5018934
one thing that kept me waking up at night after getting a dog was the claws clicking against hard floor so maybe take that into consideration for further breeding.

>>5019452
I assumed the extra large foot pads would prevent claw noises

>>5020875
I'd pet it

It's a Pitbull+Tibetan Mastiff
Retard strength and will just ignore pain until the target is eliminated like a Pitbull.
Long think fur to protect it. the hair might even be able to gather pollen as the dog walks around the property, a size boost to give it more of a chance to intimidate a bear or out right handle anything smaller that would be interested in the hive. Also, since Tibetan Mastiffs are from an Asian nation, they are used to dealing with hives of insects.

>>5001711 (OP)
the tusked flying shark dog.

>>5003005
Yes!

>>5022863
>Do dogs really get raped by humans?
>T.Wolf

>>5003005
Yes it dies. It comes from greek. Zoos = animals and philia = liking/love, so zoophilia = love for animals. Same like a Francophile = someone who is fond of French culture or pedophile, pedos = children so someone who just thinks children are fun.

I feel like this could be the next big game

>>5024341
A dog breeding video game?

>>5024373
I was thinking a Pokémon style RPG

>>5001724
Be careful. I once offered to rehome a rat and got banned for offering my snake tank. This board is serious business.

>>5001711 (OP)
Idk why but seeing shitty animal drawings reminds me of chris chan

>>5003229
Don't put me in the screencap

>>5003229
i love this stupid retarded website

>>5003229
Bro....

>>5003229
Oh anon

>>5003229
Well done anon

>>5020875
omg they hydrolic pressed this poor dog

>>5009021
hehe

>>5003229
Did you get any matches?

>>5001724
thank you for the laugh anon holy shit

>>5020875
I will name him Pye Wacket

>>5003229
Don't worry Anon, I'm sure you'll match with a lovely White woman with a big German Shepherd that you two can both love.

>>5003229
Kek

>>5024777
Based ratfag janny

>>5003229
you are an exceptional individual

>>5003853
this is a fucking sheep

>>5015796
so uh
there's this tag on ao3 called 'mechsploitation'...

>>5024777
Excuse me? Did you just complain about 4chan’s moderation? Don’t you know that’s against THE RULES?

>>5031748
That's a Darlington dustbuster

I need a dog that can groove

>>5034942
Seems pretty useful. Does it bite a lot since it's constantly teething?

>>5034942
>toothfairy dog
The dog-ecosystem grows larger and more complex with each passing day.

>>5031775
>The internet's butthole has totalitarian autocratic moderators
Kek

one that looks exactly like a cat
but it barks

>>5003005
theres a youtube channel called numberphile, does that mean they want to fuck imaterial mental objects (numbers)?
seriously tho, furries probably ruined the term zoophile for good it it ever was nonsexual.

>>5006851
ok now this is a goat

>>5006935
lmao

>>5022863
Remember that not all furries but actually every single furry

>>5034942
i dont think the lack of donor teeth is the reason we developed synthetic implants

>>5001711 (OP)
fucking based. good fantasy desu

Gud thread

>>5022906
Now a days those words are used to describe paraphilia

>>5036849
>furries probably ruined the term zoophile for good it it ever was nonsexual.
It's internet anon. The internet ruined a vast majority of words for good. It and the melinated generations of zoomers

>>5001736
A dog that can consent and have intellegent thoughts

>>5036849
>there's a youtube channel called numberfile
it's generally understood that a number can not be fucked
zoophile has never been a nonsexual term.
>yeah i'm a pedophile it's not sexual tho

>>5037418
Yeah but how come there is a million -phile words for a bunch of stuff but when it's used to describe living things it suddenly becomes sexual?

>>5037424
The proper terms should be zoophiliac or pedophiliac for the sexual conotation but I guess since newer generations of anglos are more retarded than the last

>>5037430
Alas, the anglophones has met their timely demise.
Centuries of the imperialist push to propagate themselves all over the world as the lingua franca, and centuries of race mixing with esol Europeans, and foreigners have diluted their language to the point of no return.
I guess this is the price of Global Hegemony

>>5037446
Natural language always simplifies over time because most speakers are intelligent enough to replace redundant vocabulary with context

precise and literal wording is for computers and the "most intelligent retards" (aka grammar nerds)

>>5037450
Okay anon how do you distinguish the context of something like this
>>5003229

>>5034996
I wonder how much the mods get paid to make sure no one steps out of line, must be a lot.

>>5001724
I had to try really hard not to laugh at this in my wagecage

>>5037424
Because living things tend to have genitalia.

>>5037446
>greek words
>aglophones

>>5003229
>yeah I LOVE animals if you catch my drift

>>5006851
Extremely unrealistic concept, that would never work out in real life.

>>5036903
look at big dentist over here trying to downplay the heroism of human teeth dog. go floss your fake teeth, cyborg mouth.

The Easy to Sight Hound
>bright orange fur on tail tip, ears, and side so you don't lose sight of it in the field
>racing stripe on the body helps it run faster

>>5038590
Add some flame decals too

>>5038590
very practical

>>5038590
add bioluminesent fur for easier spotting at night

A glow in the dark hound seems useful

>>5038590
give it Shelby stripes and we'll talk.

>>5039097
Does the CIA have a k9 division?

>>5039696
Probably lol

>>5006935
i was just looking at that dali painting kek

>>5006935
Yep, it's kino

Would you adopt a TRV WEINER DOG?

>>5003229
It's moments like this that I feel bad that so many ESL people have to struggle with this asinine language

Still hilarious, though.

english isn't my first language, what's wrong with being an animal lover?

>>5042325

They mean they have sex with animals

>>5042242
What the fuck is a TRV

>>5042408
TRUE

>>5017732
>loved by everyone
kek

Excellent thread OP, keep up the good work

>>5042438
The goodest boy.

>>5003132
tanuki?

>>5017732
>anon grew up around Chihuahuas

>>5034942
>>5042719
I ship it

>>5042810
There's really no good reason not to own one of these.

>>5043031
My house is on an incline, walking it would be a nightmare

>>5003132
>long tongue because lack of dimension makes it look like it has no mouth

>>5045684
he's cool

>>5001724
he looks just like my dog that passed in 2018 i love him

>>5003229
Surely you didn't call yourself a "zoophile" on your dating profile that has your full legal name and a photograph of you attached, right anon?

>>5003229
Tell me you got matches from white women

>>5001799
a perfect dog for when you can only afford to live in a broom closet

>>5042438
>clinically feline
audibly kekked

>>5001736
Saluki

>>5011939
Do you think LGDs don't ?

>>5037430
For some reason "necrophiliac" is the only one that applies to in "common" conversation

>>5001736
saluki enthusiasm is a red flag

>>5048704
That's a man.

>>5048818
i made a new breed

>>5049064
>anger of pitbull and chihuahua combined
Kek, i've seen a Chit-bull in real life, it was a good boy though.

>>5042767
>The perfect eel hunter
>Doesn't like eels.
I wonder if such a creature and be introspective and think about its existence.

>>5034942
This is just smile.jpg

>>5001724
I loled out loud

>>5049069
I really hope the pit was the mom

>>5050030
i've heard they make them in both ways and it will kill the mother a lot of the times in the reverse case

>>5017732
absolutely outstanding creation anon

what a wonderful thread... reminded me of how 4chan used to be like a while ago

>>5017732
>loved by everyone
Oh God

Drew this in the default notepad app on my phone under a minute.

They're only female.

>>5051101
This makes me kek heartily for some reason.

Hey what should I breed Anya to? https://strawpoll.com/PbZqbj4NByN

>>5001724
I keked

>>5050044
You wouldn't wear a dog, right anons?

>>5051840
I've actually thought about what I should do with Anya's hide when she eventually passes away in 15 or so years. Her most favorite toy in the world are gloves, so I think that'd be a fitting way to honor her.

>>5051840
Im sure he likes it

>>5042438
Play Look Outside, I think you'll enjoy it.

>>5001724
The Arms Race has has evolved. The bees will have their promised land

>>5051840
I do this with my cat

>>5001711 (OP)
>>5001724
put me in the screencap

>>5051088
Please don't ruin this beautiful and fun thread with your gay fetishes

>>5054340
A fitting companion for those grub troopers in dire need of friends.

>>5054340
Unfortunately, they would be gobbled up by the cong

>>5003229
Holy based

>>5001799
a breed to surpass toadline...

>>5003229
you can't tell me you never once googled it just to make sure

>>5056634
the logical conclusion to SMASHING and SLAMMING

>>5056634
lmfao

>>5050057
It's amazing what they can do now a days.

>>5050057
THEY FLY NOW?

>>5003005
>>5003229
legendary thread

>>5056634
LOL

>>5056634
Fellas, we've finally met our first Flounder-Dog

>>5003229
I hope you didn't mention anything about liking kids on there too

>>5003229
blessed retard

>>5003229
I will tell my friends about you.

>>5003229
You're gonna stand out

>>5058510
now do a screencap for the dog breeds

>>5017775
I did too. I'd heard some version of the Bismark quote 'The whole of the Balkans isn't worth the bones of a single Pomeranian grenadier', so naturally I assumed some Pomeranian dogs were 'grenaders', in that they exploded like in the videogame lemmings.

>>5018934
the way you drew the toes made me imagine them tip-toeing around like in a cartoon to not wake up anyone

>>5003229
>I love kids and want to have a family one day!
>Tags: Pedophile

>>5058880
he wont. its forced. r/4chan does these to manufacture screenshots for upvotes. there are also youtube channels that narrate "4chan happenings" (inorganic larps).

>>5003229
>enter /an/ after a long time
>see fun drawing thread
>see this
holy fucking kek, never change anon
let's hope that you didn't get bitches for your matches

>>5002983
i think this one could work as a bedside table

>>5058880
k
>>5058936
fuck you :)

>>5059034
Anon here I don't think I can fit Evey new dog design in a readable state and the reactions on one image I'm already at 9600 pix tall(2.5m/8foot if printed irl) and not even half way though the dogs. What do you guys want?

>>5059045
I want to cum in your tight little hole

>>5059045
Split it between multiple images, then. It's what I did when I was screencapping the /k/rusades storytime over on /k/ a few years back.

>>5058510
deredditification beam

>>5059624
thats the classic 4chan screen cap format what the fuck are you on about?

>>5059624
>did not include the "I like dobbermans" post

>>5059678
>ZOOM LE WORDS XDDDD

>>5059691
finally, schizopsting

>>5003229
kek

>>5059691
how did that post rectally ravage you that much?

>>5001724
FPBP

>>5059691
kek

The golden janitriever

>>5060623
Seems useful

Sorry for this pic not being a drawing, I suck actual balls at using MS paint.

UKRAINIAN THERMAL SHEPARD

Looks about the same as a G.S.D, just a bit fluffier.
Very dense despite being G.S.D sized, he weighs like 250 pounds.
>Glows a faint green
Much higher body temp than a normal dog, his baseline body temp is 150F.
He will continue to grow hotter and hotter until he is about as hot as a raging campfire. You can use him to heat your house or cook your food.
Heat can be controlled by feeding him chunks of graphite, which will lower his body temperature.
Likes to lie on top of you.
You swear you get a little nauseous around him, but you don't really know why...

>>5006935
>>5014934

>Taller thinner faster longer

Work it, make it
Do it, makes us
Taller, thinner
Faster, longer
Work it taller, make it thinner
Do it faster, makes us longer
More than ever, hour after hour
Hunting wolves is never over

>>5061125
>The Ukrainian thermal shepherds glow in the dark; you can see them when you're driving. You just run over and pet them. That's what you do.

>>5061125
do you think people want to see amazing digital art in this thread? draw it no matter how shitty you think it'll come out!

>>5061135
kek

bump

>>5001711 (OP)
for all the elite gamers out there, meet the gamerhound.
Microsoft, give me money now.

>>5062719
He better earn me Microsoft points.

>>5003229
toasting in an epic bread

>>5062719
>& not doing homework
Yes, but does it eat homework?

>>5010324
Optical illusion.

>>5062719
I love this little nigga so much.

>>5062719
How big is he? Is he as big as the current Xbox controller? Is he ENORMOUS like the original Xbox's original controller?

>>5060623
I like the name

>>5064474
>Is he ENORMOUS like the original Xbox's original controller?
You will not slander THE DUKE on my watch.

my apportion for this

>>5062719
Perfect lapdog.

>>5066097
He's a very strange dog, but if he can fly he must be reasonably healthy.

>>5003229
Arrested Development moment

>>5042719
>toothfairy money is literal shit

I love it

Yo!

>>5067464
This dog looks pretty strong......

>>5034942
simpsons did it

>>5051109
At least they thought about aesthetics!