Thread 5021398

>hey those guys look warm and comfy
>maybe i can get some food
>
>
>10000 years later now still best friends having the time of our lives
dogchads literally cannot stop winning

>be cat
>worshipped as a god for centuries
>humans stop worshipping us
>humans post images of us doing silly faces
catkeks cant even cope right

>be bird
>Have babies
>Ugly, loud baby shows up
>???
>raise it instead
Nothing to see here, I'll just ignore the rotting corpse below my nest

>be me
>be mouse
>living in nice and warm area
>safe and sound
>see human place cheese in front of me
>eat cheese
>cruel weight of ignorance falls on you with the speed of 1000s of years of innovation beyond your understanding

>>5021399
>worshiped as a god
The same people worshiped literally every animal. It was probably shit for cats because they also believed each animal god required blood sacrifices of that animal. They did so many of these it's theorized that egyptians sacrificial kitten mills had some influence on the domestication of cats, specifically their acquisition of colony forming behavior.

>be caterpillar
>wigglin around eatin leaves and shit
>suddenly get really tired
>fuck im cold too
>gonna make me a blanket and take a nap
>wake up and suddenly have wings and can fly and shit
>holy fuck what was in that leaf

>be spider
>chilling
>eating yummy bugs
>bugs stop appearing
>humans happy about lack of bugs
>your welcome :)
>woman sees me
>screams
>bitch kills me
>enjoy the bugs coming back whore

>>5021402
Egyptian cat worship is and always was a nothingburger. Anubis is also cooler for being basically Hades/Hermes to the feline Bastet (Artemis).

>be elephant
>life is good and chill, learn to do neat tricks
>some humans start treating me like shit
man if they dont stop soon i swear im gonna snap one day

>be Indonesian slave farmer
>see weird cat thing eating coffee beans
>it shits them out
>the beans are still there
>decide to wash them and make coffee out of it
>profit.jpg

>be beaver
>decide to completely change an entire ecosystem around a river because you wanted to build a house
heh, nothin personal kiddo

>think of animal
>apply human logic in a silly way
>chuckle sensibly at the result

>be me
>literally invincible
>live forever
>eat leaves and plants and shit
>exist in literally every biome that has water
>everyone ignores you because you're invincible
>develop insane poison resistance with ocean variant and eat literal toxic jellyfish
fuck yeah

>be scorpion
>want to go across river
>ask a frog to help
>sting frog because fuck you
stupid idiot never been around the hood before never trust a nigga for nothin, ya heard me

>be tiger
>chilling in captivity, kinda cramped but it aint so bad i guess
>humans put me in smaller cage and start moving me
>no idea where the fuck im going
>sleeping in the middle of the night
>all of a sudden loud noise happens and im fucking in the water
>wtf wtf wtf
>find boat and try to sleep off being wet and cold
>chill with a human for a few months before landing in mexico
viva la vida fucker thanks for nothing

>be rabbit
>hop
>hop
>hop
>hop
>hop
>SEEEX
>hop
>hop
>hop
its just that easy

>be hawk
>flying around looking for shit to eat
>notice a microscopic movement a mile away in tall grass
>ah yes, dinner

>be cell
>doin life shit, just followin instructions
>all of sudden start feeling weird
>feels like im about to burst
>fuck this is starting to hurt
>body starts ripping itself apart
>wtf
>now theres another me

>>5021429
>b hop
>hop
>hop
>hop
>reach A long before enemy
>snipe 3 CTs with my AWP

>be horse
>out chillin and shit
>humans like when i run fast
>this is fucking dope as fuck i get a shitton of carrots and grass
>break leg
>fuckers pull a shotgun on me
>???
>now I keep kindergarten paper mache projects from falling apart

>be hedgehog
>have a dilemna
>people constantly misunderstand it and you
>retarded egg looking motherfucker keeps on trying to ruin day

>>5021407
Yep... Another easy win for dogs.

>be crocodile
>eating megafauna
>upright monkeys show up
>no more megafauna
>50,000 years later
>upright monkeys show up but on big boats this time
>bring new megafauna with them
This predator thing is easy. How does anybody go extinct?

>be underwater dino
>all prehistoric and shit
>friends wanna try seeing if theres more food or something on "dry land" lol whatever the fuck that is
>nah man ya'll go out im good chillin in the water
>years later hear they all died when a giant fuck all rock hit whatever the fuck that dry land shit was
shoulda just stayed in the water man if it aint broke dont fix it

>>5021435
>doin it sideways

>be bird
>tweet tweet
>chirp chirp
>get laid by baddy with colorful feathers
>now my children gonna be colorful as fuck too
hell yeah