Thread 5038346

Horse General

I'M LOSING MY FUCKING MIND I CAN HEAR THEM NEIGHING ALL THE TIME AND PULLING MY BRAIN IN MY SLEEP HELP

Thread that lay down for even a second >>5020957

I've joined the college horse riding club. Been only twice on a horse beforehand and hopefully someone will teach me riding soon.

Downloaded a horse scanner app and scanned myself. Apparently I am a percheron.

Really excited about my horse future.

>>5038359
I wasn't even given the rank of horse.

>>5038359
Hmm you look like Cool Spot to me

How based is this?

Caparison, simply because I can.

>>5038402
The audience ruins the aura.

>>5038408
Noted & here you go.

>>5038408
Here's another one.

>>5038408
And 3rd time's the charm!

>>5038408
Or, in this case 4rd due to me being a tard.

They are coming.

>>5038469
Imagine smell

>>5038337
Holy shit bros they are doing the pose
https://manebooru.art/images/150015

>>5038522
how many mlp boorus are there

>>5038546
About tree fitty

>>5038348
>>5038349
Every time I see a horse in a house all I can think of is how bad it would be if they took a big dump on the carpet

>>5038420
I like how the horse is in the battle fury mode too.

>>5038469
I wish the done the opening plane scene of the dark knight rises with an all horse cast.

>>5038560
There's special training you can do to ask them not to do that.

>>5038479
No thanks

>>5038585
>Ask them not to do that
I don't think that works

>>5038588
Not without the special training.

>>5038589
I dont even think theres a special training to stop them from eating for fingers

>>5038591
The special training lets you ask them to stop any unwanted behaviour. They never listen but after a six week intensive horse course they will perfectly understand your pleas while they completely ignore them.

>>5038416
Super cool pics. TY anon

I like donkeys more

>>5038783
hinnys and mules let you have the best of both worlds!

>>5038546
Eight.
derpibooru.org
twibooru.org
ponerpics.org
ponybooru.org
manebooru.art
tantabus.ai
lyrabooru.org
booru.foalcon.com

>>5038829
>lyrabooru
My cock is on page 1

>>5038836
Why tho?

>>5038845
I was horny

>>5038846
Please, don't.

>>5038851
It's going to happen again and again. Has to happen.

I found an old collage from when I rode horses on both hemispheres in the same month.

>>5038369
I was going to bike there tomorrow, they've got special ponies?

>>5039060
Yes, they're extremely endangered so please, do not any of the ponies.

>>5038829
>booru.foalcon.com
No thanks.
>>5038859
How was it going from hot to cold so quickly?
>>5039147
Then how are you going to make more, silly?

>>5039252
I had to go to Iceland on troll business and rode one of the tiny strong horses then went to Australia the next month and I'm still here on a Yowie stakeout. Thankfully we stopped the complete collapse of the troll population so they'll live for another four hundred years on the island. The horse was nice too. Threw me off because of The Fear.

>>5039261
holy shit that's the cutest honse image I've ever seen

>>5039263
Horses like their tiny friends.

>>5039264
Truly blessed & I HAVE to post the meme, in agreement.

>>5039264
Nobody really knows where their tiny friends come from. Sometimes we show up and there is some ectoplasm and a smaller horse.

today i rode a horse for the first time in my life
i was rather bad at it, even with the instructor, i had a hard time controlling the thoroughbred
but i'm going again soon because i liked it. any advice on how to handle and communicate with the horse?

>>5039481
Spend some time with the horse beforehand so you don't have any nervous energy. You steer with your feet and it's opposite controls. Heels down and activate hover.

>>5039501
Can you train a horse for inverted Y?

>>5039564
You have to start from foal but probably

>>5038348
You and your horse gf at a motel?
Captcha: MOMMWY

>>5038346 (OP)
Very spooky, gives off The Ring vibes.

Do you guys think these guys would be horse enthusiasts?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1OWqz5FMEY0

>>5039762
Reminder that this will be deleted while anti cat threads go untouched

>>5040194
>anti-cat threads
Let me guess
They're not actually anti-cat but they said you keep the litterbox in the wrong room and cats aren't unconditionally superior to dogs

What are some government jobs that you get to go round and horse?

>>5040302
Go and find a blm job about feral American horses. Blackie used to be one.

>>5040335
Let this be a lesson to not eat all of the hay

Moar art from SHP incoming.

>>5040196
Meds, anti cat schizo

>>5040629
A truly schizophrenic post. Very well done, sir.

Anyone else watch the All American today

>>5040196
>he hasn't gotten catschizo's memo
He thinks jews are slandering cats to suppress a nascent bastet cult that will kill yahweh. Yes, really.

No way could the passive, resource conserving, solitary animal not actually be a hyperactive, hyperintelligent genocide machine and merely be on the receiving end of some mythology because it's cute and humans want to excuse keeping it around.

It's got to be some alternate history bullshit where jews are at war with an irrelevant egyptian good luck demon

He's actually the biggest retard on /x/. We thought he was a /sci/ reject, but nope.

>>5040755
See>>5040631

>>5040629
>>5040631
>>5040755
>>5040774
This is the horse thread, sirs.

>>5040591
>>5040593
>>5040595
Every time it improves. I like the kelpie.

Milky bump!

>>5041660
Too based, i kneel

>>5041660
Unf

>>5041660
gib milk

>>5041660
based retard
>bafang
please get better taste

>>5041716
>t. contrarian

What did I miss

>>5041732
install 4chan-xt browser extension, or check the archvies

>>5041732
I wish the milkmare would deliver my milk in the morning. I wish the milkmare would deliver my milk when I'm yawning.

>>5041767
Is that juicy eye vein so they can cry harder than any other animal?

>>5041717
not at all he's overrated as fuck just like shinodage
>>5041732
mlp porn

>>5041716
thebatfang is based though. Name a better artist I'll wait.

>>5041943
Nording and maremagnet are the first to spring into my mind. though I'm sure with more time I could absolutely compile a more comprehensive list. being based doesn't mean batfang isn't overrated nor does being overrated mean his art is shit either. my main problem is people who worship him like he's a god and treat him like he's the only artist in the fandom worth a fuck when that isn't true there is plenty of equally technically skilled artists in the fandom.

>>5041943
Thebatfag is great but to your question, arareroll is arguably better.

>>5041959
NTA but if you're gonna beat your meat to horsey ponies the least you could do is etheross or mecurial64 at least their ponies don't look like abominable demons from the deepest darkest pits of hell and they mog arareroll skill wise every day of the week. honorable mention to PaskaNaakka he does horsey ponies quite well.

>>5041966
Oh I forgot about mecurial64, yes I'd agree. Etheross too but I thought he stopped doing equines and just does scalie shit now.
However, none of this is for meat beating, I am simply a classy equine enjoyer, indeed.

>>5041969
I can respect that

>>5041943
>hermaeus_herxes
>welost
>aer0 zer0
>clopician
>>5041966
>mercurial64
Good one

For research purposes only, of course

>>5041979
>clopician
maybe if you like ugly faces

>>5041979
>welost
>aer0 zer0
Objectively inferior off model slop

>>5041991
More for me

>>5041979
Typo
Hermaus xerxes

>>5041880
>gets called a contrarian
>denies it by listing popularity as the reason they don’t like something
Nice job proving my point, retard. You just don't like that they're popular. I could sit here for hours listing reasons I don't like welost or aer0 zer0 without once mentioning that they're overrated, because I'm not a contrarian faggot who decides what I like based on how many other people also like it. You have the mentality of the average /v/tard.

Who would have guessed that this would be the only argument to ever occur on the horse gen. Lol.

>>5042109
>horse general
>argument about who loves horses more
Lmao.

>>5042118
Porn = lust != love

>>5042105
I never said I disliked his art or even dislike him for being popular, chill out with the asspulls there bro you might rip out something important most likely your brain with how deep your reaching. hell I got plenty of his stuff in my sfw pony folder I mostly prefer his simpler sfw art even then not all of it hits the spot for me and it has nothing to do with the technical quality of the art. I don't care about his porn at all and I don't care for the art style or the scenarios he makes it just doesn't appeal to me at all personally. me saying someones art is overrated isn't a personal attack on you or the artist in question nor does it imply I think something is shit. it's just a simple statement of my genuine opinion that I think there's better artists out there both technically and from a subjective personal appeal perspective.

this is my last response to you I will not be replying to you at all after this.

>>5042175
Should a true and real horse enjoyer appreciate all forms of sfw horse imagery, or can some part of that be replaced with owning horse figurines?

>>5042165
Reverse the order of your statement

>>5042175
My point is that you're a contrarian faggot.

>>5042179
Love != lust = porn.

>>5042178
I like what I like anon can't help it or change that. perhaps though on the figurines. probably the best choice would be actually owning a honse and sacrificing your minerals to said honse recreationally.

is there a certain breed of horse that has higher intelligence or do all of them have the same probability of freaking the fuck out over random things

>>5042185
Oh yeah, I totally forgot about actually owning a horse. I have one lol. I tried taking another picture of him and he showed me his invisible mind powers. Quite suprising. I didn't expect him to be this powerful yet...

>>5042118
I think that was the exact argument that led to the extinction of the House of York. Ultimately the only way to win that argument is to think about horses so much that you cry all of the water out of your body.

>>5042212
It varies horse to horse. I know a cob that is used to help disabled and mentally deranged kids and he wouldn't react if you set off a grenade next to him and gets his ears and eyes yanked on and can tell if someone is autistic at 100 paces and is more forgiving. He was an interesting creature. I always treated spookyness as a split personality that horses need being prey animals that we wouldn't understand. It's such an important thing to run away extremely fast it's like a sympathetic nervous system reaction rather than wasting the brain to think "oh no, now I must run" so you can't say it's the horse, it's just like taking your hand off the stove doesn't mean you're particularly flighty it's just your SNS. Most every horse is calm and measured when you make them think hard.

>>5042212
the smartest horses i know are mustangs and american qtr horses, but they're all still spring-loaded to run away from a leaf at a moments notice

>>5042212
Training would be better. I recommend looking into the way money carriers were trained.

>>5038359
not sure if intentional or broken

>>5042232
I got a full horse result. You're not a human, are you?

>>5042240
no, i've got four fingers just like everyone else

How do you make the transaction less awkward when you go to the horse store to buy a bucket, carrots, and five bottles of viagra?

I bought these, because uwos lab said they would taste good with frosting. They do taste good, a little unsweet. They also gave me a stomach ache. :( Ithink it's the rice bran and oat bran. Maybe the uncooked oats. It might make a good porridge.

>>5042328
No condoms?

>>5042353
Try sweet feed. That stuff is kinda good if you want to pretend to be a horse or you're just hungry.

>>5042359
Nah I'm just cheap. I did buy this stuff and it's a good electrolyte powder. It's doesn't taste like apples, and neither did the ivermectin. The enjoy yums did taste slightly like apples.

Horse product sellers are lying!

*I worked at a hospital during covid which is why I used ivermectin. Don't think about it too much

>>5042357
we're trying for foals right now

>>5042380
I hope you won't grow snout from that stuff

I think the horses are satisfied with my quilt repairs
The next logical step is to make fabric horses

>>5042468
Horse intercom?

>>5042480
R u fem?

>>5042484
where do you think we are?

>>5042533
Aquatic equine quilt weaving forum?

>>5042480
Thought I had the same thread open twice

>>5038479
I've got a cowboy church near me as well. I see people taking their horses in small stock trailers there occasionally. I don't really know what they do with them there. I assume they ride around and talk about Lorde or something.

>>5042676
I did some googling, and it sounds like they are a more minimalist, self sufficiency promoting, and rural style churches. They sound like the opposite of mega churches. Also they like animal husbandry.

8

>thread dies
Huh, almost like a shift ended

>>5042480
>2nd best princess

Post mare butt

>>5044168
Maybe if you said please, rude ass.

Would you guys buy a robot horse? I would. A real pet is too much of a responsibility for me to accept.
>>5044173
Donkies get out!

>>5044198
I would buy a robot deer

>>5038560
The folks who owned "Misha the House Horse" say it was easier housetraining their horse than their dogs. Like she got the idea of going outside in a week or so.

>>5044227
I've never seen video this low quality on YouTube
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sxQo1qxk2eE
>few people are goddamned insane as horse enthusiasts
Lol

>>5044255
I don't know if I'd call them insane. They arrived at that crazy arrangement one little sensible step at a time. Like, they brought her in originally because of a period of record-breaking cold weather when she was young and a bit underweight, which makes sense in context, and it just kinda went from there.

IT WAS A FUCKIN HORSE

>>5038469
the pressure discomfort of descent is painful for adult humans who know and can control that discomfort. to animals with even an infant's awareness, this is unnatural and this is abuse.

Uma Musume is a one small step for man but a giant leap towards horse girl erasure. I don't think it's right for women to take care of these beautiful beasts

RIP Haru Urara

>>5044349
She was a beautiful innocent creature

>>5044416
He's jorking the ears again! Arrest him!

>>5044416
It's wrong for there to be a horse gambling game with no hooves

>>5044416
theres no correlation. most the turdies who paddle that shit gacha game want the anime girls, not the horse they are based off.
Post an actual horse and they'll recoil in fear, knowing they've been found out, completely denying that they in fact do have shit taste.

Lol
>>>/pol/515235777

>>5044572
Absolute truth nuke. Generic anime girls are a blight on all media.

>>5044430
>Haru Urara dies from colic
>2nd highest recipient of rye grass donations
>1st being Grass Wonder who died from organ failure
>3rd being Meisho Doto (currently alive)

Since you guys are more knowledgeable than weebs and gamers, did the rye grass have any relation to her death?

>>5044352
weird looking horse

>>5044572
Oh boy you wish, you really wish

How does this general feel about horse racing? Does it count as animal cruelty?

>>5044697
why do you care what some third-rate board general thinks?

>>5044705
Curiosity

>>5044697
Thoroughbreds like to run, you practically have to train it out of them. There is risk of injury, exacerbated by short-term-thinking breeding practices of the past fifty years or so making them faster but more fragile, but I don't see "risking an injury" necessarily as abuse.

>>5044697
Not by existing. Only based on owner treatment.
>>5044774
I bet there are more horses being mistreated with small enclosures than wide open ones.

>>5044572
Then explain why horse video popularity has went up tenfold. Horses are the new cats, and it's all thanks to umamusume!

>>5044695
Hooves are so shiny

>>5044651
rye grass digested in large qualities can develop colics on a horse yes but most competent, professional stable owners and horse caretakers tend to only give horses a small amount like a treat.
think of it like having a Pepsi can every now and then, it wont hurt you but replacing your entire liquid intake for Pepsi for a few months will.

If you give a horse an apple sometimes they may decide to make funny faces for you. A very fair exchange.

>>5044949
Yeah, professional horse carers would know better.

If a horse was there, it wouldn't have gone down like it did today...

Why are the stomachs of horses so fragile? Meanwhile, we have pandas eating 70 to 100 pounds of bamboo for 10 to 16 hours every day, without ever risking colic, even though pandas were originally designed to eat meat and not bamboo.

>>5045440
They are hindgut fermenters. They don't need to deal with a rumen so they are faster but it can get shifted and warped easier.

guys is this real?

>>5045548
Hyper real

What is the best way to extract a horse that has planted back into the ground?

>>5045692
Simply apply horse extract to the back head and snout.

>>5045692
Grasp the horse firmly by the ears and pull upwards. They aren't very heavy.

>>5045935
Snoffa

Kings among warriors!

>got robbed today at work
fuck you guys!

the moon landing was fake btw

>>5046213
they shot it on the moon tho

>>5046104
If you can make love to a horse and not become a criminal a sheep seems like an arbitrary cut off.

>>5046213
Moonmare sneaky and mean, spider in my dreams. I think I love you.
You make me want to cry you make me want to die I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you moon mare. Every night you come into my room and pin me down with your strong arms you pin me down

Every night you come into room and I try to fight you, you come inside me you fill me up and I become the moon man. The passionate passionate moon man.

You ever worry about telling your family about the horse cult that you joined by posting here more than once? The great reunion weighs heavily on me but in some way I know it is for the best.

>most of paganism is just furry erotica and people's dick twitches leading religious lore
What did they mean by this?

>Fulvius Stellus hated women and used to consort with a mare and in due time the mare gave birth to a beautiful girl and they named her Epona. She is the goddess that is concerned with the protection of horses. So Agesilaüs in the third book of his Italian History.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Epona

>>5046265
You're good, just avoid calling them sexy.

Can you train a horse to poop in designated spaces like you can a dog?

>>5046534
Yeah some horses just naturally go in one spot in their stalls.

>>5046534
c >>5044227

>>5046104
We must return to tradition

>watching Vertisasium when suddenly
S-SHP-sama?

>>5047172
wtffffff

>>5044359
Thank god cabins are pressurised and this has been a non problem since 1940. Fucking retard

I was thinking about why horse people are "crazy" and I think it's because it's a passion animal. You either like them or you don't.
Cats and rabbits can mostly be left alone. Dogs need to be socialized. A lot of small animals are content in a wet or dry tank.

Horses take significant investment to own + maintain. Land, food, cleaning stalls, and care like a ferrier. It's very hard to find someone who invests all the space, time, and money, while not caring about horses.

>>5047172
I saw that too lol.

>>5047215
>It's very hard to find someone who invests all the space, time, and money, while not caring about horses
it can happen when someone whose partner is a horse person. like a friend of mine. last time I called him he joked that the horse had been sent to the glue factory

Should I microstake a race horse for 1%?

>>5047282
What is microstaking?

>>5047381
Buying 1% stake on a horse, giving the owner money for 1% of profits

>>5047389
buy 1% of the racetrack instead

>>5047389
How much meat would that be? Doesn't sound like its worth the hassle really...

>>5047394
Stocks? That's possible but I'd rather invest in a hors

>>5047395
Lmao

>>5047389
You could do that, but if you have the money to burn you can instead sponsor a horse at a rescue at Fallen Oak. Horses cost a lot to care for and when they can no longer race they're often callously thrown away.

>>5047413
There is one stock on /biz/ that is likely to STOP the stock market, and there's possibly only 2 more weeks to buy. I only post here, because horse friends are probably good hearted. It's probably too late to DRS if you don't already have an account.

If the DD is true then at most you'll probably only get SIPC insurance payout from a broker.

>>5047215
My dude a rabbit is the most demanding pet I've ever had and I have a fucking parrot. Idk if my rabbit is retarded but it's always frustrated about something

>>5047452
OK Fluttershy

Does anyone have that news clipping of the guy that got arrested for hugging all the street horses?

>>5047477
kek

>>5047282
>>5047389
When you buy an stake in a horse like that, you're betting that the horse is going to do better than the actual owner's projected valuation (which the price for that stake is based off). More often than not, the owner and his people know the real quality of the horse better than you, and you're left with a proud 1% stake in Bag Holder as he retires with 4 digit lifetime earnings.

>>5047452
>>5047477
LONDON

>>5047566
Yet another case of horse enthusiasts being unfairly discriminated against and treated unjustly by '''''society''''

>>5047902
You're a good man. May heavenly mares gently neigh you to your rest.

What does it mean when a horse bows it's head into you? I was high at a renn fair and I looked in the eye of one of the jousting horses and he did that, was I chosen? Blessed? Cursed?

>>5047452
>>5047477
Reminder, on the internet you never know when you're actually talking to a horse.
Horses are responsible for 80% of posts made on the internet that aren't bot-traffic.
The >>>/mlp/ fandom was driven by horses on the internet excited about representation in media in a show that heavily featured so much of their cultural heritage. The internet wouldn't have been so enamoured by that show had it not been for horses mass adoption of Internet communication letting them constantly glaze the show on the internet since they felt they finally had something made for them, since they hadn't been able to truly feel the community of a fandom catered to them since Mr. Ed.

>>5047937
They're communicating with you.

>>5048052
What was he saying?

>>5048065
I would have to witness it. It's almost definitely positive from
>what are you doing here?!
or
>I must scratch my long face on you and I trust you are not bad
and everything in between.

>>5048066
Nice I'm a beast tamer, I also had blue face paint like that dude from brave heart would that have something to do with it?

>>5048080
Bichromats do not care about blue. They care about smell and general energy. Not in the way we would. I was nearly crippled by a shetland pony for stopping her eating soil. We'll never know what is going on.

>>5048081
That's fuckin sick I'm mostly a canine enjoyer so everything about horses is like Chinese to me I didn't even know they had square eyes until that day

>>5048084
Just never tell them their long pupils are weird. Scratch them on their withers and inner thigh and they'll hang out and groom you back even though it feels terrible.

>>5048093
Wouldn't they kick me if I scratch their inner thigh?

>>5048093
>inner thigh
Anon I'm not falling for that

>>5048101
No, they can't reach their with their long mouths. Inner thigh, butt, boobs. They like getting them scratched platonically.

>>5048169
https://youtube.com/shorts/vUhtYqzkvtU?feature=shared

>>5048265
That requires a great deal of trust if you don't want to get bit, shoved, or kicked. Touching the really sensitive spots is only for trusted friends.

>>5048341
I think they can understand if you're a friend quick enough. If you touch the nose you can get 'em next time.

>>5048688
I went to beach with horse today. It was fun.

Behold

>>5048981
Fin.

>>5048984
awesome pics