Thread 5045267

So heres the rundown:

There are a ton of cats in my neighborhood. They shit in my front yard and it is a manner of time before they shit in my backyard. I have already instilled in one tortoiseshell kitty to fuck off on sight but there is still more of them and my immediate neighbor that I am an end terraced to has a cat that I don't want to fuck around with. The cat is fucking huge. Highly muscular with a hard R black coat, never seen anything like it. Somehow it's female too. There are also a bunch of moggies down the road owned by former pikeys that I really don't want to piss off either as pikeys hold grudges to an insane degree. Now, I don't want to hurt the cats and I currently can't get a dog, so I have devised a different plan entirely.

The plan is simple: stone the fuckers. If a cat is too much of a vegetable to walk it is too much of a vegetable to shit in my yard. I want to know what the strongest psychoactive substances available to cats are so I can then use them but no weed. I heard silvervine, valerian root and tatarian honeysuckle are all psychoactive two but nothing more than that. I want to induce generational decline to the cats in my neighborhood. Fuck, I could even get a big ass cat like a Maine Coon to ward off the other cats and keep it from wrecking my shit while at work by keeping him a vegetable in my lounge.

Just leave some rat poison in treats and spread them in your yard, then its not your fault if those fuckers intrude and eat them

>>5045267 (OP)
>want to dissuade cats from being in yard
>how do I attract cats
this is just consolewar shittery, but either way the approach is fucking backwards.

mix lemon juice with ghost pepper sauce (the real shit, like daves gourmet) and spread it on surfaces cats need to put their paws on to get into your yard. just continue the line anywhere else.
then make some trick snacks to make them think the area is cursed. put a normal pile of wet food out, but have a dollop of hot sauce chilling in the middle waiting to be bitten into

also, weed is the only thing that actually gets them stoned without hurting them. if you can control the dose you could get them hooked on benadryl.

>>5045267 (OP)
>>5045427
literally three seconds of googling.

>>5045267 (OP)
Honeysuckle+catnip
https://www.cathealth.com/behavior/catnip/1209-cat-honeysuckle

Spider plant leaves are mildly hallucinogenic to cats. If you dried and powdered some and put it in cat food, it could be funny.

regular ass melatonin kills their hunting instinct and makes them lazy and affectionate

start with 1mg per cat twice a day and move up to 5mg after a month

>>5045441
Are you the guy from the animal drugging thread?

I always see cats online so stoned they get puffy eyes, how do people do it? When I do catnip cats don't ever get like that

>>5045552
Just look at this fucker

>>5045552
They also give them weed

>>5045267 (OP)
I hope you get cancer and slowly die

>>5046220
My solution is far better than actually poisoning them anon

>>5045267 (OP)
I had some cats so I grew a catnip plant in my sideyard to entertain them. Turns out all of the cats in the neighborhood started taking a nap in it. If this isn't bait I don't think it's a good approach but I am curious about the best catnip.

cat drug thread ? cat drug thread.

>>5045428
weed makes cats permanently retarded, do not get cats high. dogs like it though.