>>936760086
"What in the name of... he's wearing the wig... HE’S WEARING THE WIG AGAIN, KING!"
>J-Tard wheels into the ring, leaving a slime trail behind him like a slug made of failure.
J-Tard (screeching, into mic):
"NEEOWWWMMM! I’M A FORMULA ONE ENGINE OF WAR, MACHO MAN! NOBODY CAN CATCH ME! YOU’RE ALL TOO POOR TO EVEN SEE ME!"
>Fans begin heading for the exits. A child cries audibly.
"I SIT IN A WHEELCHAIR WORTH MORE THAN YOUR LIVES. I AM POST-HUMAN. I AM BASED. MY DOWNFORCE IS IMMACULATE!"
>He spins. And spins. And spins. The chair wobbles, squeaks, then gives a sad little crack. Something leaks onto the mat.
"My God... he’s turning the squared circle into a biohazard!"
>Macho Man storms down, disgust on his face, trench coat flaring like divine wrath.
"LISTEN HERE, YOU LEAKY LITTLE LAWN CHAIR LIZARD! You think F1 makes you a man? REAL MEN DON'T TUG THEIR PECKERS TO LITTLE BOYS And REAL MEN DO NOT... oooooooze!"
>J-Tard whimpers. Tries to spin away. Macho Man grabs the chair, flips it like a pancake, and drops an elbow right through J-Tard and his dreams.
"OH LORD HE SNAPPED HIM IN HALF, KING! JUSTICE DELIVERED!"
>The crowd erupts. Janitors enter in hazmat suits.
