>>937280101Let's get down to business here. You're trying to pass off this ridiculous, clichéd story as some kind of deep, dark secret. Newsflash, buddy: it's been done before, and done better. Your "confession" reads like a bad parody of every edgy, try-hard teenager's fantasy.
First off, the crossdressing thing? Yeah, that's not even a unique twist. We've all heard that one before. And the whole "I used to wear my sister and mom's clothes" bit? Give me a break. You think you're the first person to spin that yarn? It's like you Googled "weird sexual deviancy" and copy-pasted the first result.
And then there's the "white stuff" coming out. Oh boy, how original. You think you're shocking me with your "I discovered my own semen" story? Please. That's like Sexual Development 101. Every dude and his brother has had that epiphany at some point. And the fact that you left it in your mom's room? Yeah, sure, because that's exactly what every mom wants to find – a puddle of her prepubescent son's jizz on her bedspread.
Now, let's talk about the "twisting a loofah rope around my dick" part. What the actual fuck is wrong with you? That's not even a thing. You just made that up on the spot, didn't you? It's like you took every weird sex myth and Urban Legend from the internet and mashed them together into one big ball of nonsense.
And the pièce de résistance: "Masturbating before puberty is waaaaay better than after." Are you kidding me? That's not even a coherent statement. What are you trying to say – that you're somehow nostalgic for a time when you didn't even know how to properly jerk off? Give me a break.
Listen, dude, if you're going to try to spin some wild, erotic tale, at least put some effort into it. This half-baked, unoriginal nonsense isn't fooling anyone. You're about as convincing as a kindergartener trying to sell a bridge. Just own up to the fact that you're a liar and a try-hard, and maybe – just maybe – we can have a decent conversation.