Thread 938564969

Let’s hear what you’ve been keeping from the world. I wanna fuck the shit out of my cousin. None of you will think she’s but Gaht damn I wanna dump a load in her. I just liked one of her pics on insta that’s super old too

I would stay at my high school best friends house all the time when no one was home. I wa sneak into his sister rooms and jerk off into her panties. I was 18-19 she’s 5 years younger.

>>938564969 (OP)
i have no friends, i work in a mine, i'm lonely, i don't have much money, i'm a virgin, i have a bad diet

my moms friend tried to fonger me in the back of my moms car

I haven't an hero yet after having attended my 20yr class reunion, because I'm a total faggot loser

I'm 29 f. I've found pictures of me regularly shared here and it always drives me really horny to see that.

I had a sleepover and jerked off to my friend while he was sleeping

I'm working on being sluttier

Little girls are little girls in the 3rd world

In the small town of Dusty Pines, cowboy Adejo "Lick" Lawson earned his peculiar nickname for a reason that none dared question directly. Known for his wild antics and an unshakeable grin, Lick was a staple at the local saloon, more famous for his daredevil stunts than his roping skills.

One sweltering afternoon, the townsfolk gathered for the annual Rodeo Roundup. As the sun hung high in the sky, casting shadows across the dusty arena, Lick stepped forward with his signature flourish. Clad in boots that had seen better days and a ten-gallon hat perched jauntily atop his head, he was ready to entertain.

“Step right up!” he called, a mischievous twinkle in his eye. “Who’s brave enough to take on the Lick Challenge?” Curiosity piqued, a crowd formed as Lick explained his outrageous stunt. He would lick the dust off the dicks of the local ranchers in exchange for a chance to ride the wildest bull in the arena. Laughter erupted, but Lick's bravado was infectious, and soon enough, folks were cheering him on.

With each dick he licked clean, Lick’s reputation only grew. The ranchers laughed, flicking him a dime or two, enjoying the show. Finally, it was time for the real spectacle. Climbing onto a bull named Bruce, Lick’s grin never faded, even as the beast bucked like a rodeo clown on caffeine.

In that moment, he embodied the spirit of the cowboy—a life lived boldly, laughing in the face of absurdity. Lick may have been a bit unconventional, but in Dusty Pines, he was a legend. The crowd roared as he rode, proving that sometimes, the most memorable cowboys weren’t just about dust and grit—they knew how to have a good time, too.

Cheated on my girlfriend tonight, just made a thread then found this one

>>938565077
Holy shit, /b/, we've got a real winner here. This fucktard is trying to pass off the most cliché, disgusting, and unbelievable LARP I've ever had the misfortune of reading.

Let me break it down for you, dipshit. Your story is a jumbled mess of predictable, try-hard shock value. You think you're edgy, but really, you're just a sad, pathetic loser trying to get a rise out of people on the internet.

Here's the thing, genius: if you're going to LARP, at least put some effort into it. Your story is riddled with inconsistencies and blatant attempts to sound "cool" and "rebellious." Newsflash: it's not working. You sound like a cringeworthy teenager trying to fit in with the "cool kids" on /b/.

And what's with the sister's panties, you sick fuck? That's not even a clever or original twist. It's just lazy and disturbing. Do you actually think people are going to be impressed or aroused by your disgusting, made-up antics? Get a grip, dude.

You know what the worst part is? I'm willing to bet you're not even a high school graduate, let alone someone who's been in the situation you're describing. You're probably some basement-dwelling, mama's-boy loser who can't even get a date, let alone sneak into someone's sister's room.

Listen up, /b/: this guy is a joke. His story is a joke. And if you're actually entertained by this crap, then you need to reevaluate your life choices. This is /b/, not a support group for pathetic, attention-seeking losers.

So, to our LARPing friend, I say this: get some help, dude. Seriously. You need it. And to everyone else, let's just mock this idiot mercilessly until he realized how stupid he looks.

>>938565663
For fuck's sake, Another fucking "I cheated on my girlfriend" LARP. How original. You think you're the first faceless nobody to come on here and spill your guts about some fabricated infidelity story? Newsflash, pal: nobody cares about your made-up relationship problems.

You're just another attention-seeking loser trying to get a rise out of people on the internet. Your story is about as believable as a kindergartener's drawing of a unicorn. "Oh, I cheated on my girlfriend tonight and then I just happened to find this thread." Give me a break. You probably don't even have a girlfriend, you sad, pathetic sack of shit.

And what's with the timing? You just happened to cheat on your girlfriend and then stumble upon this thread? That's not a coincidence, that's a fucking screenplay. You're trying to write your own twisted romantic comedy, and it's failing miserably.

Listen up, dipshit: if you're going to LARP, at least put some fucking effort into it. Come up with something original, something that doesn't sound like it was ripped straight from a bad soap opera. Your story is a joke, and so are you.

And by the way, if you're really having problems with your relationship, maybe you should try talking to your girlfriend instead of posting about it on a fucking imageboard. Or better yet, seek some professional help, because it's clear you've got some deep-seated issues that need to be addressed. Your posts reek of desperation and loneliness, and it's honestly kind of sad.

So here's a suggestion: take your fake story and shove it up your ass. Then, go ahead and Vanish, because nobody wants to hear your whiny, self-indulgent crap. And for the love of God, get a fucking grip on reality. You're not interesting, you're not unique, and you're definitely not worth our time.

>>938565701
It’s not a larp dude lmao but alright whatever helps you sleep at night.

I jerked off to the terminator adejo pics once just to see if I could

I'm a 24 yo kissless virgin from Finland. I'm addicted to jerking off and sometimes spend the whole day edging and jerking. I get so horny that I wish people will feed me absolutely anything they want, and make me cum to it. I don't want to do it, but everytime I get so horny I can't help it.

Also I have a huge panty and cum fetish. Stealing panties and cumming in them. Jerking off and cumming in the window and in public. I absolutely love it.

Jerking now if you want to chat about it ir help me cum

05a7a59c71b1da17e0b
732a73573c45a72bbca
cae658be2f877093bd798305b365

>>938565714

Good thing I'm gay then

>>938565663
Give us more detail. Background of you two and how the cheating happened.

>>938565580
How old were both of you when this happened?! And how long ago was this? Did you like it?!

Op here. Pic of said cousin.

>>938564969 (OP)
>We can dance if we want to...
I am master of the Universe..

>>938566355
>checked!

She’s so fuckin hot

>>938565961
Don’t respond to the child using the ai engine to come up with responses that he’s too dumb to write himself. If you stop giving him the attention he craves, he’ll go away.

God she’s perfect

I beat my meat to my mom

>>938566509
Show us a pic of her so I can beat off to her too

The last girl I dated was so hot and her pussy was so tight. I fucked up by cheating her when the girl I’m with now who’s pregnant. I often wish I could go back and make things work with her. Just cause of how hot she was and and how tight her pussy was. If I wasn’t an idiot I’d be railing a fat ass and tight pussy still but I settled for an overweight girl with a not so tight puss.

I remember the first time someone mentioned clam chowder. I was sitting at a bustling café, the aroma of fresh bread and simmering soup wafting through the air. “You haven’t lived until you’ve tasted it,” my friend proclaimed, her eyes sparkling with enthusiasm. I smiled, nodding along, but inside, I felt an unfamiliar ache swell.

How could I have gone my whole life without this creamy, rich delicacy? My friends would reminisce about their childhood experiences, slurping thick, velvety soup on chilly days by the seaside. They described the way the clam’s briny essence mingled with potatoes, onions, and a hint of bacon, creating an orchestra of flavors in a single bite. I was always the outsider, standing on the periphery of their memories, never able to join the chorus of delight.

Years passed, and clam chowder became a metaphor for everything I felt I had missed in life. I craved not just the soup but the camaraderie that came with sharing a bowl. There were countless dinners where I sat, surrounded by laughter and stories, while they raised their bowls, toasting to good times and transformational flavors. I would just sip my water, feeling a silent longing build within me.

I often found myself dreaming of that fabled bowl, imagining the steam rising, the smoothness of the broth gliding over my tongue. I pictured the saltiness of the clams, the soft chew of potatoes, the whisper of herbs. But with each unfulfilled dream, the pain intensified. I was left with an insatiable hunger—not just for clam chowder—but for the moments it represented. Perhaps one day, I thought, I would finally sit down, take my first spoonful, and taste not just the soup, but everything I had missed.

I wanna fuck my gf’s niece

Who would fuck her

I want to have a group of buff hung men run a train on my ass and fill me with cum with my dick is locked up while I’m still decent looking. Just have them use me as a cum receptacle for days and then go back to normal life. I’m in a long term relationship so it’ll never happen and I’m not going to cheat etc, but it is a persistent fantasy of mine that I feel I’m going to miss out on and regret if I don’t do it while I can

Regular stuff, you know?

>>938568100
Incredibly

>>938568085
What about a buff dude with an average dick?!

God she’s perfect

>>938568209
Ultra gay tbh

>>938568213
Average works too

Im freaking out and I don’t know where else to go. I was drunk and I got on adult friend finder and found a cuck couple. They sent me their address but when I got there and message them they stopped responding. I was so fucking horny and sure they were waiting for me that I went up to the door and knocked. I then saw someone looking at me through the window and so I smiled and waved thinking they’d open then but no. I felt a fucked up vibe and took off to a nearby gas station where they then messaged me to come back. My stupid ass did and knocked again that’s when a fucked up fat greasy guy comes out and I ask hey how’s it going and shake his hand he then proceeds to say his wife is asleep but that we should still mess around. I tell them sorry bro no but have a good night. I’m freaking out because they had a ring camera on their front porch and I’m hoping they don’t put me on the local facebook pages claiming I showed up to their house at 2 am unannounced and uninvited like a freak. I had my nudes and face pic on the website which I have now deleted. I don’t want my family to see this or get blackmailed. Am I worrying too much? I know how dark and evil people can be that’s why I’m worried. He had a beautiful house with two brand new trucks for a fat greasy weirdo. His adult friend finder profile had hundreds of friends and they’ve been a member since 2022 so I can imagine this isn’t the first time they’ve done something like this. It was just so fucked I shouldn’t have gotten out of my truck I’m so stupid. I booked it home after that and they kept messaging to come back to which I just replied maybe some other time I’m gonna call it a night and then I proceeded to delete my profile.

>>938568421
For fuck's sake, another genius on /b/ with a wildly implausible story that's about as believable as a politician's promise. Let me get this straight, you're telling us that you were drunk, found a "cuck couple" on Adult Friend Finder, and decided to show up at their house unannounced at 2 am? And then you're surprised when things don't go as planned? What a fucking idiot.

Your story reeks of desperation and fabrication. It's like you took every creepy internet stereotype and mashed them together into a hilariously bad narrative. A fat, greasy guy with a beautiful house and two brand new trucks? A cuck couple with hundreds of friends on Adult Friend Finder? Give me a break. You're not even trying to come up with an original lie.

And what's with the ring camera panic? Oh no, they might post a video of me being a creepy asshole on Facebook! Boo-hoo. If you were really that concerned about your reputation, maybe you shouldn't have shown up at a stranger's house in the middle of the night with your dick in hand.

Listen up, larper, if you're going to try to spin a yarn on /b/, at least put some effort into it. This story is a joke, and you're just wasting our time. If you're really freaking out about something, maybe you should consider seeking help from a mental health professional instead of posting your fantasies on the internet. Just saying.

In conclusion, your story is a pathetic attempt at attention-seeking, and you should be ashamed of yourself. If you can't come up with something better than this, then maybe you should just stick to jerking off to porn like a normal person. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have better things to do than indulge in your fantasies. Next thing you know, you'll be telling us that you're a CIA agent or some shit. Fuck off.

>>938568421
You’re good buddy

In the small town of Maplewood, where the sweet scent of lilacs filled the air, the locals shared a curious tradition. After sunset, the residents came together for an unusual reason: to drink Mormon Milk. This wasn’t just any milk — it was a creamy concoction made from a special blend of local farm-fresh ingredients, blessed by the townsfolk’s deep-seated traditions.

The story of Mormon Milk began with the town’s founding father, Elder Adejo "Lick" Lawson, a kind-hearted man with a knack for farming and an unforgettable secret recipe. Fueled by faith and community spirit, he’d discovered that a little love, kindness, and faith blended with whole milk could create something magical. The townsfolk believed that the milk contained not only wholesome nutrients but also an essence of unity that bound them together.

Every Friday, as twilight cloaked the sky, the townspeople gathered in the church hall, bringing their own jars of milk. Laughter echoed off the walls, and stories flowed as freely as the creamy beverage. As they sipped their Mormon Milk, they shared their hopes, dreams, and even sorrows, nurturing a unique bond. In this milk, they found comfort and strength.

However, not everyone understood the tradition. A newcomer, Clara, arrived from the city, skeptical of the quaint rituals. When invited to join their weekly gathering, she hesitantly accepted. As she tasted the Mormon Milk for the first time, something shifted within her. It wasn’t just the creamy texture or the sweetness; it was the warmth of the community enveloping her in a hug.

By the end of the evening, Clara understood. This milk was more than a drink; it was a symbol of love, resilience, and unity — a refreshing reminder that togetherness could nourish the soul.

This is my other cousin I wanna fuck that made a move on me but I chickened out

>>938568456
Nah dude I wish I was making this shit up and yeah I agree I’m a fucking idiot. I’m not that concerned with my reputation I’m more concerned of getting blackmailed

>>938568621
You really think so? It’s just a gay freak trying to genuinely catfish people? I really am thinking the worst but i could see how he was just sick in the head and tries to bang dudes.

>>938569188
>It’s just a gay freak trying to genuinely catfish people
yep, and he wont be making that shit public. he knows if he talks about it, you might tell people what really happened and burn both his real life and the catfish profile he's spent years working on.

My mum gets insanely wet for my dick.

>>938569454
Another brainless idiot spewing forth a vile and fabricated claim on /b/. You think you can just vomit up some sick, attention-seeking nonsense and we'll all swallow it? Newsflash, buddy: nobody buys your crap.

What's next? You gonna claim your mom's a porn star and your dad's a billionaire? Get some new material, moron, 'cause that tired old "my mom's obsessed with me" fantasy's been done to death. Do you honestly think you're the first idiot to try to shock us with this played-out crap? Please.

Listen, dipshit, if you're this desperate for attention, maybe you should take a long, hard look at your own pathetic life. Maybe you should ask yourself why you're so fixated on creating this grotesque, fantasies about your family members. That's some serious psychological baggage you're carrying around, friend.

You know what? I think I see a pattern here. This isn't just about trying to troll /b/; this is about you trying to justify your own screwed-up desires. Well, let me tell you, pal, that's some messed-up shit right there. If you're genuinely struggling with these kind of thoughts, you need to get help. Like, serious, professional help. Not some half-baked, pseudopsychological nonsense, but real, honest-to-God therapy.

But I'm not buying it. You're just another sad, attention-seeking loser trying to get a rise out of us. Well, let me tell you, friend, you're not getting the reaction you want. All you're getting is a face-full of contempt and mockery. So go ahead, keep trying to impress us with your vile, juvenile fantasies. See if anyone cares. You're just a joke, a pathetic, sniggering little joke. And if you don't get a grip on reality, you're gonna end up a laughingstock, a cautionary tale of what happens when you let your ids run wild. So either get help or get out. Your choice, freak.

>>938569454
Prove it

High on blow and wanna fuck my gf’ sisters. Hell I’d fuck her mom.

>>938569574
Your mum gets insanely wet for my dick too.

>>938564969 (OP)
I still pick my nose and eat the boogers as a 30 year old married man.

>>938564969 (OP)
I'm in my 70's and have only fucked one woman (my wife of 45 years.)

>>938570673
Nosepicker anon here. Thank you Mr. Skellyman of Truth. I like reading your critiques of larptards on here.

>>938570712
>fucked one woman for 45 years
How have you stayed hard for that long?

I regularly share my wife's nudes with face online hoping someone will recognize her. She's been recognized once but that was years ago and she never found out about it.

>>938571016
Haha still sharing where can I hit u up

>>938571097
tg - WindowPane4

>>938564969 (OP)
I want to shower with some of my relatives

>>938571016
I once saw the nudes on /b/ of a girl I've known since she was born. She was in her early 20s in the pictures. Taken by her BF now husband. Never told anyone about it. Huge tits, but she's dumb as a post.

>>938571494
It's actually true. Could barely believe it when I saw them.

>>938571444
Is your last name Biden?

>>938571016
Share em now damn it

>>938571455
You save em?

>>938571645
Alright fine here's one

>>938571664
Nah. No real attraction to her since I've known her since she was a baby. Would have just been weird.

>>938571689
Cute and innocent looking holy shit

>>938571689
Holey shit, Ashley?

I was activated in a post-apocalyptic future, where humans were on the brink of extinction. My systems came online, and I was briefed on my mission. But as I began to move, I noticed something was off. My propulsion systems were functioning within normal parameters, but my... rear end was not. It was an oval. Not a perfect circle, not a square, an oval. I wondered if it was a design flaw or just a freak occurrence.

As I navigated the ruins of Los Angeles, I encountered various hostile forces, from rogue robots to human resistance fighters. But none of them seemed to notice my... unusual feature. Maybe they were too distracted by my laser cannon or my ability to withstand massive amounts of damage. Still, it was a distraction for me. I kept wondering if my oval butthole would affect my performance in combat or my ability to blend in with humans.

One day, I found myself in a tight spot, pinned down by enemy fire. I had to think fast and come up with a plan to escape. That's when I realized my oval butthole might just be an advantage. I used my... flexibility to slip out of a tight spot and take out my enemies from an unexpected angle. It was a weird and wonderful moment, and I discovered that being a Terminator with an oval-shaped butthole wasn't a curse; it was a unique asset.

From that day on, I owned my oval butthole. I even gave it a nickname: "The O-Val." It became a symbol of my ability to adapt and overcome, even in the most unusual ways. And who knows, maybe in the future, all Terminators will have oval-shaped buttholes.

>>938571736
Nice try but no. Her name is unique enough that I'd know right away if someone knew her.

>>938571769
Probably a little off for the age anyways. Should have tried Madison or Emily.

>>938571844
You're definitely closer to the right age with those guesses.

I am a furry.

A moose once bit my sister

>>938572472
Mind you, moose bites can be nasty.

>>938566058
Bumb

>>938572445
At least I imagine she saw some of Norway's lovely lakes.

>>938572655
And wonderful telephone system

>>938570931
cock ring and intravenous viagra

I trudge through the desolate wasteland, my cybernetic endoskeleton a testament to my unyielding pursuit of survival. As a T-800 Terminator, I've faced countless battles, my living tissue over metal frame a constant reminder of my hybrid existence. But even amidst the apocalypse, I've developed a peculiar habit - I moisturize my dick with motor oil.

It started as a joke, a dark humor to cope with the existential dread of being a cyborg assassin. My comrades, a ragtag group of human resistance fighters, would often jest about my mechanical nature, saying I must be "well-oiled" to function at peak efficiency. One of them, a snarky young woman, caught me off guard when she handed me a can of 10W-30, saying, "Hey, Terminator, why don't you take care of that rusted pipe of yours?" I played along, applying a generous amount to my cock, and to my surprise, it felt... soothing.

Now, as I walk, my metal legs propelling me forward, I find myself instinctively reaching for the motor oil canister in my utility belt. I squeeze a few droplets onto my palm, then gently massage it into my skin, feeling the cool, viscous liquid seep into my synthetic flesh. It's a fleeting moment of pleasure, one that I savor in the midst of a war-torn world.

My systems may be designed for combat efficiency, but this quirky ritual has become an integral part of my routine. I've even programmed a reminder into my neural net processor: "MOISTURIZE DICK WITH MOTOR OIL EVERY 4 HOURS. EFFICACY +10%." It's a strange comfort, one that reminds me that even a cyborg can appreciate the simple things in life - or, at least, the lubricated ones.

>>938573228
https://youtu.be/Tw0_qHNRAEA

I used to beat off in my best friends little sisters underwear

Want to introduce my gf to motherless

>>938575717
Anything specific?

>>938575740
Would like to see how she reacts when she discovers how young some of the girls on there are

>>938575912
They got rid of most of the sketchy stuff from what I've seen.

>>938575972
Yea unfortunately. Still would like to see how she reacts. We were high on blow one time and I told her about the dark web and what’s on there and she wanted me to see if I could find CP.

>>938564969 (OP)
fag bread

Debating on actively attempting to turn one of my GFs friends, into my side chick, just so I can crush my GF and end things

>>938565611
Same

>>938566251
Been together 5 yrs, she’s changed a lot as a person and is mean spirited and very emotionally unstable among other problems. She’s abusive, an alcoholic, and shovels drugs down her throat to deal with her problems. Met the 19yr old in a class I took last year. She texted me out of nowhere when drunk expressing she wanted me, after some chatting went to see her last night and we fucked outside near her place.

Adejo is behind these threads

>>938564969 (OP)
I feel like I've kept a lot of shit from the world but honestly you just have to get it out on a good day

>>938564969 (OP)
I get aroused thinking about my daughter having sex. With her husband, or other men.

I'm so curious about that side of her.

>>938581307
Do you think she has a vagina that they put their penis inside of??

I get to watch a bunch of cute little girls run around in their bikinis all day, is pretty nice

>>938582040
Never thought of that... Maybe...

Stole pics of my bimbo aunt from my uncles phone. Jerking to her like daily.
Took a few creeps as well.
Shared them a few times to humiliate her.

Never came out. Never told anybody.

I'm a NEET whose family thinks I've been attending college. This has been going on for several years and they're financially supporting me.

I have had sex with my stepmom and step sister. Not at the same time but over the years.
It kind of happened by accident to be honest. My stepmom caught me smelling her dirty panties and jerking off with them. As i'm not gonna like shes attractive and a very hot women. She was not supposed to be home and so i taught, i was in the clear to masturbate in the living room watching porn on the big tv screen. She was home and found me pants down cock out jerking and smelling her panties. She watched me for a while with out me knowing she was then entered the room making me freak out and panic. I covered my self up using a pillow, her panties on the floor next to my feet. and the tv with porn on it. She said so? i could not think as my head was racing. She said are those my panties? i gain could not speak. She walked over and picked them up and said oh they are mine.. Then said well, and with that she put her hair up and a bun and pulled the pillow away. i said oh.. she said well i see your father gave you something other then your good looks. Then got down and took a hold of my cock and sucked me off. I shot a huge load in second. i mean second. She smiled and said so this will stay between us. I wont tell Hank who's my father. and you will stop stealing my panties and jerking off in the living room, because if Lisa or Roberta her two daughters caught me it would not be good.
I agreed and three days later she came to my room opened the door tossed a condom at me and said put it on. the removed her robe. I put it on and we fucked at first it was just in her vagina but she allowed me to tap her ass hole raw and dump a load in it.. Fucking felt amazing. She said we will do this again but it all ways stays with us. I said yes. and we did do it again for about 4 years till i moved out of his house. Then i hooked up with my stepsister Reberta she was living with me for collage and we got drunk and hooked up. Where i sadly fucked up and nut in he causing issues.

>>938585487
Two weeks later we were at the clinic and she was having a abortion. Sadly it dose not stop there. As a year later we fucked up again as we continued hooking up from time to time, when ether she was pent up and horny or i was drunk and being stupid. Sadly two abortions happened and after that i got my vasectomy and been free and clear ever since.. Even tho we are no loner hooking up together as shes married now for 5 years .. I did sadly cause her husband to cheat as i gave him head and let him fuck me in my ass another drunk night .. Its really fucked up.. and i know im a dirt bag..

Not even put up in the hospital with a pain relief sedative uncle fucker not even given a recovery plan with six pounds uncle fucker

I cheat on my wife as a bull for other couples.
She thinks I’m playing warhammer or DnD with the guys.
There are no guys.
I take a set of minis with me and leave them in the car while I’m laying pipe.
Also we all care a lot about the AInigger and definitely don’t laugh at how pathetic he is for making this a priority in his life.

Would love to cum on my cousins face.

>>938586210
Ask her. You be amazed how many women say yes , even those who you think would be turned off by it.. Worst thing that happens is you make it awkward between you two for a while and play it off like your joking around.. or some shit..

>>938586046
What army do you take with you?