Thread 938989748

Is today the day, b?

>everything staged in an abandoned warehouse where I am highly unlikely to be interrupted or easily discovered
>tested rope's load bearing strength multiple times
>hugged and texted the relevant friends and relatives that I love them and that I have taken as many measures as I could to seek treatment for my debilitating cervical spine injury

What precautions am I forgetting? I've botched an attempt before and that was not fun.

Debilitating, often excruciating pain for 2.5 years with no answers after seeing many, many providers and conducting imaging and bloodwork.

>>938989748 (OP)
Why not try heroin just because?

>>938990024
I have made some attempts to do so but it seems like mostly fent around where I live. I found a pickup spot but have no empirical evidence to help me transact safely. But would probably try H at this point though, good point.

>>938990205
Ye i decided to never discount the right drug again. I know it’s not the same but I SOLVED. Not improved, not made better, not helped, no I SOLVED my mental health issues with the right drug . Anything I ever go through im exhausting every drug before I decide to rope. Anyway just my 2 cents. maybe I would only about dmt or ahyuasca though those are mostly for PTSD - simply because there’s some evidence you release it when you die and I want my first time to be as nature intended

>>938990205
I think a good place to start may be to get yourself out of your current mental state before you even think about making such a move

>>938990357
What was the right drug for you, in this case?

>>938990735
Procuring random drugs is unlikely, to be clear. But sadly this is more about a physical state than a mental state, though I recognize the false dichotomy. It’s just been hundreds of days of pain and it’s not clear how it will improve. I feel attached and compassionate towards those around me, not dissociative, but I am in agony.

>>938990855
40mg Vyvanse literally made me normal and changed my entire life. Actually it made me better than normal.

My condition makes me very not normal. Surface level i was fine. Socially I was there, if anything kinda quiet. The thing was even though surface i was normal below the surface because my neurotransmitters had a market difference from 99% of people I was unable to form connections . I now know connections between people are created and maintained through being on the same “frequency” (in the abstract sense, it just means some wavelength of dopamine serotonin, etc. in conversation and interaction there becomes a connection between tones, words, communication, body language etc that syncs both of your neurotransmitters). I legit didn’t connect to anyone because of that and also the main part had terrible OCD, compulsions, anxiety, etc.

Vyvanse took it away, and now I am able to reach People’s same frequency in that sense. Except now I have an advantage over normal people since I understand it’s all to an extent a play. I can easily traverse and understand many things about people. I also read many books to help this.

>>938989748 (OP)
Why not just go missing forever entirely? That's what im gonna do. Im gonna make sure I never existed.


On painless suicides, (hanging, gunshots etc are all hellish experiences. You dont die instantly as there is a lot of brain activity)

Nembutal or DDMAPH cocktails are your best bets as they kill painlessly, act fast and gice you a wonderful euphoric sendoff to ease stress. However they are expensive.


100% NITROGEN (do NOT use helium youll die excruciatingly) exit hoods are the cheapest for best painless results. Its at max 250 in total. (fucking get 100% only oh my GOD) You need a gas can shipped, a regulator shipped (THAT FITS THE CAN), and a hose shipped and you need a plastic bag that will go over your head tightly releasing no gas.

You have to hyperventilate though and get the oxygen out of your system first and then you have to make absolute certain that the hood is filled with 100% pure nitrogen with like 0 oxygen.

>>938991138
>gunshots etc are all hellish experiences. You dont die instantly as there is a lot of brain activity)

Elaborate

Thank you these replies are helpful.

>>938991138
Where does one procure these more painless option? It seems like that might require having some kind of crypto, which I do not.

>>938991191
I'm not google, if you dont know that there is still brain activity in every region that isnt effected you are a nigger. Pain will be felt, especielly with hanging. Its not hard to self discover, ive done exhaustive research on this. Not to mention the likelyhood of a botched suicide. You need a damn good gun. The human body is shockingly durable.

>>938991117
I think OCD is the main problem for me, and the hypochondria symptom with OCD has made the chronic pain issue so truly chronic

>>938989748 (OP)
Ask Christ Jesus if he is real before you do it, some kind of sign or something, couldn't hurt right. Ask for the proof you need it's worth a shot

>>938991363
I am not concerned about the pain part so much as the botching. What are the botchable elements of hanging?

Charcoal grill in an enclosed space.
Whiskey, weed, heroin, whatever your favorite drug is. You gently go into that dark night by the glow of the fire.

Just remember that your suicide will destroy anyone who cares about you and leave them feeling they should have done something.

>>938991389
Oh yeah me too I used to think I had rabies for weeks on end and every time I moved my head I had a brain injury. For like 10 months kek

>>938989748 (OP)
Y'all postin' in a motherfucking log thread

>>938991516
have some goddamn fucking respect you imbecile

this is a very serious situation and subject go elsewhere with your shit posts

>>938991456
And with no closure because they're pissed and broken hearted

>>938991428
Nigga, quit stalling. You know exactly what the botchable parts are. Smdh

>>938991601
i said have some respect leave us alone!!!!

>>938989748 (OP)
How is hanging going to fix a cervical spine injury? Won't that just make it worse?

>>938991456
>Just remember that your suicide will destroy anyone who cares about you and leave them feeling they should have done something

this is unironically why I haven't killed myself yet, I have a new business with $120,000 per year in revenue but between expenses, business partner splitting it 50/50 and child support I am only taking home $20 grand a year after taxes. living out of my car and/or the studio, taking showers at the nearby gym, eating bad takeout food because I don't have a kitchen. car needs maintenance I can't afford. but I get to see my little 4 year old boy twice a week and he loves our time together. I tried writing a suicide note yesterday and when I got to the part where I addressed him, I broke down and couldn't write it. I love him too much and even if his father is a failure, I can't leave him by himself. it'll hurt and confuse him so much and the thought of that just breaks me down. that's how I know I cant leave yet.

>>938991456
In the hanging vids they always desperately try to unhang themselves for the last 10 seconds of consciousness when they realize they don't want to die. If OP is able to wake up eat breakfast and take a proper shit and take whatever pain meds he's prescribed he's not suffering. Let's hope he figures that out before some poor guy has to vomit for an afternoon while he pulls his bloated corpse into an oversized body bag

>>938991679
Nah, those guys that collect the bodies get off on that shit. He'll probably fuck the corpse.
Prepare your butthole, OP. Shave it and lube it up for the man

>>938989748 (OP)
Dont you want to see Cracker Barrel go broke from going woke?

>>938991675
Imagine growing up and knowing your dad hung himself

>>938989748 (OP)
So you're setting up appointments to treat the cervical spine injury that you're about to give yourself?

>>938991819
well originally my plan was to walk into the forest for a day and then stab myself in the heart, but yeah that's why I'm not doing it. can't put my little guy through it even if I have to keep living out of my car.

>>938989748 (OP)
>cervical spine injury
ma dude, the fact that it's a physical source/cause, instead of a mental/emotional/psychological one, should already keep you a bit more grounded and optimistic than if it was the latter
it's very unfortunate yet common for some people to have symptoms and conditions that they can't find the source of until a while down the line
just for curiosity, have you tried
pain medication?
massage therapy?
acupuncture therapy?
a chiropractor?
different stretching routines?
yoga and similar practices?

>>938991337

For Nembutal and DDMAPH, some routes of getting it require crypto or access to a black market. For Nitrogen, you can get the materials anywhere. Make absolute certain its 100% nitrogen. No less.

For nembutal youll have to get it from a country that sells it over the counter, the dark web, or youll have to synthesize it yourself. In those other countries youll likely be turned away a few times but eventually youll find one that will sell. Its realllly fucking EXPENSIVE (like 1-2 grand) as its highly controlled legally, but its the go-to for its simplicity. Its a schedule 2 in the us and you could be sent to prison or fined for having it imported.

Picrel is how to do DDMAPH. It acts the same basically as nembutal, its a mix of Digoxin (100mg) Diazepam (1 gram) Morphine (youll have to find it on the black market/dark web, 15 grams) Amitriptyline (8 grams) and Phenobarb (5 grams) taken in a certain order. You could get some of these legally without going to other countries or ordering from the dark web.

I got all of this info from a suicide handbook with all of the cureent resources for vendors, ingredients etc and all of the different painless methods that is updated yearly by a dedicated community called the peaceful pill (you can pirate the 2023 edition of annas archive), theres a lot of other methods in it but these are the best basically.

Wishing you the absolute best in anything and everything. I'm sorry this world is so cruel and the people in it so messed up. Your mental health matters most to me.

Have you tried big juicy nigger cock in your ass?

>>938991601
I will say, Logfag does have a point here about the stalling.

This actually turned into a pretty good thread. Thanks everyone for both the concern and the safety intel.

>>938989748 (OP)
What are the sex rules for the room you're in? Did you check if autoerotic asphyxiation is allowed there?

I'm gonna cut up some pears

>>938991971
Thanks, this anon here gets it.

We need poop and corn

>>938991138
What’s a helium suicide like? I knew someone that killed themself this way.

>>938991863
This is the right attitude. I should be empowered by the fact that it could be something where we can point to literal anatomical source, a herniated disc impinging on a cranial nerve, what have you. However the provider that can do so accurately I have yet to find. I was told that multiple vertebrae in my neck won’t move but also the orthopedic said it was not operable. Most of the other suggestions you have here I have tried multiple times with different providers, such as chiro, acupuncture, etc. The only thing that seems to work is exercising to a point of exhaustion so my body produces ameliorating adrenaline, but then I’m even more sore after.

I was on an anti-psychotic for a long time and I think it was improperly paired with other drugs. Quetiapine + Gabapentin has left me some symptoms resembling Parkinsonism. It seems like anti-psychotics have a record of drug-induced-parkinsonism.

I think my friends and family know where I am at, and I have explicitly told them that if something happens to me it is merely out of physical anguish, not something more they could have done. I usually am able to think of at least not having my grandmother have to outlive her grandson, and I text her all the time, but it’s hard for me to turn off the part of my brain that says that these people would sleep better at night if they didn’t keep having to watch me deteriorate physically. I don’t know if it’s worse for my parents to lose their son or to have watch me be a fraction of a person

>>938992194
Unironically I have read Robin Williams’ autopsy report

>>938992459
You see the problem is is that helium providers almost always fill their cans with other gasses too even if it says 100% on their websites (and even on labels), and in order for it to be painless it HAS to be 100%. Makes it difficult, unreliable and unsafe compared to nitrogen. Nitrogen is about as easy to find as helium, its just far safer. You do NOT want to botch this suicide type.

>>938993290
Errors in percentage and the method (you have to REALLY hyperventilate yourself) will make the gas hood method extremely painful

>>938993424
For you

>>938993424
>is today the day, b?everything staged in an abandoned warehouse where i am highly unlikely to be interrupted or easily discovered tested ropes load bearing strength multiple timeshugged and texted the relevant friends and relatives that i love them and that they will see me again soon
yeah i think that

>>938989748 (OP)
So what are you cosplaying as?

>>938989748 (OP)
Have you tried fucking two chicks at the same time?

>>938989748 (OP)
Pls dont kys op

>>938999298
OP. It really does get better. Idk if it will help saying that because I dont know whats wrong with you, but it gets better.

>>938989748 (OP)
yes