I hate being Indian
I just can’t anymore. I feel like everyone hates me for something I couldn’t control. Why can’t my countrymen just sort the place out? Why do I have to face the burden of stereotypes I don’t perpetuate? Why the hell did I have to be born this way???? I’ve tried so hard to like myself, find comfort in words of support from others, but no matter what, it’s the hate that finds its way into my heart. I try to tell myself that racist people are just ignorant, but the sheer volume of it that I see just breaks me internally. I feel like I’m losing my mind. I can look at things objectively, understand why things are the way they are in India and in the Indian community, and yet I can never truly accept it in a way that can give me any form of peace because NO ONE ELSE SEEMS TO UNDERSTAND OR WANT TO UNDERSTAND!!! People fucking enjoy hating us, heck people want to hate us. Why? Why does our misery make them so happy???? I can’t even look at my parents anymore. They smile at me so genuinely every day not knowing the things people say about them. How do I even tell them any of this? They’ve done nothing wrong and yet people want them dead. I’m so over this.