Thread 21417224

It's come to my attention that I need to look after my colon better. I've always had a very slow bowel, but as I get older it seems to be getting worse, even if I eat lots of fruits and veggies and fibre.

Ergo, under medical advice I have purchased these which I am to use 1-2 times a week. Right now my BMs are only about two a week, and probably one per week if I don't drink a ton of beers on the weekend. Anyone else in the same boat?

Also how many of these should I take tomorrow as an experiment.

>>21417224 (OP)
another ai thread, if you look at the picture, it did not solve the captcha, fail.

Ass cancer is caused by gay butt sex.

Just stop being gay OP it's that simple.

op needs to get a fist up in that ass, all nice and deep like.

>>21417224 (OP)
i seemed to be having some gut problems due to deficiencies like in iron and omega 3. might be worth getting tested for that if you haven't already, or just trying a supplement to see if you notice any difference.

i've been dealing with it too but keep seeing recommendations to avoid senna except as a last resort because it can cause a reliance on it and it doesn't fix the root problem.

>>21417224 (OP)
>ass health
>laxatives
>health
Dude.

>>21417224 (OP)
What monitor you are using? Asking this as it is looking very pristine , crisp and clear?

>>21417236
I've been taking high-uptake iron bisglycinate for a few months and a few capsules of Ωmega 3s for just as long. It's probably good for me overall but doesn't improve my digestion. Also, before I switched to the high $$ iron I was taking the cheap stuff which my things worse.

Senna is only to be taken when needed. 1-2 times a week should be fine but I definitely can't let myself get hooked on it

>>21417250
It's just a 2023 Appletosh Macputer laptop anon

Start drinking Metamucil and follow the directions.

>>21417259
Tried this several times and for several years, didn't help at all :[

>>21417224 (OP)
do you eat a lot of dry foods? stuff like peanut butter can constipate me a bit because it's so dry despite it having fiber.

>>21417224 (OP)
>ton of beer
>consume high levels of nitrates

ass cancer, as you get older it gets harder to fight it off, can throw out bm and generally gets worse with age, recommend aloe vera instead of laxative pills. Aloe is a natural laxative and can help if you have ass cancer, may have to take higher doses to see it work effectively. No beer anymore.

>>21417269
I think part of my problem is just that, sometimes I drink a ton of water and sometimes I go a whole day at work and forget to drink any water. I think if I was more consistent I would be more consistent, but even when I made an effort to eat lots of muschy fruits and vegetables and drink lots of water it didn't help a whole lot.

Also yeah I regularly eat peanut butter by the spoonful and then go straight to bed. Probably concrete in my guts.

>>21417270
>No beer anymore.
I-I can't really do that anon. It's only on weekends ffs

>>21417275
this is all you will consume, it will make you healthy and can get you drunk if you are just a weekend drinker only but something tells me you're not which is why we are here.

>>21417281
I'm quite literally only a weekend drinker anon. I work a 9-day fortnight (every other fridee off) and I literally never drink on a work night. That means 1, or 2 at most, days a week. My alcohol consumption is still a periphery health concern but this doesn't seem to be part of the problem with my slow bowel. I just don't want to be holding onto 5-day-old hard rugged shits when that's toxic to your bowel. I know people who pooh 3x a day and that's more than I do in a fucking week bro.

>>21417284
great respect for you in this case, I understand, It is hard to go without a drink sometimes, I had to quit beer for many reasons, health being primary, it would make me feel bloated and blocked all the time, I used to drink everyday though, did not help. Changed the way I eat and drink and now it's like ive back to my normal self again, worse case if changing your diet/drinking habits still won't work, you will definitely need to see a medical professional if not done so by now, tube up the ass, I had to do it, luckily it was only a bad case of the hemorrhoids and nothing else on the radar. Anyhow I wish you all the best and hope it is nothing.

>>21417297
wait, hemorrhoids don't cause constipation themselves, do they? I do have a mild case but never though it was holding me up. fucking hell time and age sucks

>>21417307
it can if its bad, it can obstruct the exit point

>>21417312
ah yes, my mum's a nurse and back when I got my first 'roid I called her in a panic and she told me about times she was dealing with bedridden stroke patients and such, and they were trying to make them pooh and she said one lady tried to pooh and what looked like a full bunch of purple grapes dumped out of her ass and just hung there. Fucking massive cluster of hemorrhoids. She sent the ol' bitch straight into surgery.

Anyway I have no grapes, just some soreness and it hasn't even bothered me for like 10 years so def under control

A warm enema and a couple of circumcised penises will free you right up.

OP has butt problems

>>21417590
not butt problems anon, butt concerns

Coffee
Higher intake of fluids
Spoon of olive oil

Also autistic people are unironically more likely to get constipated

>>21417250
why are you so impressed with a normal monitor? did you fall for the retarded crt meme?

OP here. whelp, I took one about 10 hours ago and still nothing. not even a rumble.

It'll take some more time I guess, will keep drinking water.

https://youtu.be/v4evOwFtXco?si=hoYWIBHVAcwxxFWI

>>21417224 (OP)
Buy kefir grains on etsy or locally if you can find them and start making/drinking kefir. Goats milk is the best for it, but cow milk works as well.

It is one of the most powerful probiotics. Kefir is incredibly healthy.

>>21418688
I forgot to mention that store bought kefir is not even close to being as healthy for you. If you really want the benefit from kefir you have to make it yourself.

One of my friends had parts of his colon and small intestine removed after a very serious car crash he was in and I turned him onto homemade kefir and it is actually helping reduce the horrible digestive issues he has now.

>>21418688
>>21418692
Sorry anon I can't deal with dairy. I do take probiotics though

>>21418695
Lactose intolerant or what?

>>21418699
Not diagnosed but it makes me sick. If I have a latte or something I can't eat anything for the whole day. I think it goes back to hating milk and having my parents force me to drink it.

>>21418702
Goat milk kefir will probably not make you sick. The lactose is consumed by the bacteria and converted into beneficial compounds. The probiotic count is in the trillions. Significantly more potent than any probiotic you can buy.

I would research it. It may really help you. The starter is like 10 bucks and goat milk is not expensive either. Wouldn't hurt to try. It is a very quick process to make.

You combine kefir grains with milk, cover with a paper towel and leave in a cool/dark spot, wait 1 or 2 days. Then you simply strain the liquid into a seperate container, put the grains back into a jar and add more milk. You make 2 days worth, so by the time you finish your kefir the next batch is ready to strain. Takes about 2 minutes to prepare.

>>21417224 (OP)
Clearly, you misspelled "fiber".

Make sure you get your colonoscopies. Colon cancer is on the rise. A colonoscopy doesn't just diagnose cancer, it also prevents it cause they snip off the nodes.

>>21417224 (OP)
Lol shitting once or twice a week? You need to go on a 3 day fast or buy wormwood. You have parasites or something. I shit twice a day, or once at a minimum. You absolutely should be shitting once a day at min.

>>21418765
and with pride
>>21418767
yeah I might need to start getting my pupechute investigated
>>21418769
my doctor says this varies wildly from person to person and as long as I'm not distended or straining a slow bowel is fine

>>21417224 (OP)
>laxatives
fuck that, just eat tons of fiber and fat

don't push when you poop bros, pushing hard leads to fissures and hemorrhoids

>>21417224 (OP)
If psyllium fiber doesn't work, it means you're not drinking enough water.
Psyllium fiber and adequate water intake WILL work.

Your problems are from tap water. Stop using it to bathe. Stop using it to wash your clothes. Eat only food with filtered water (Amy’s Organic Soup) or oil (Tortilla chips) or in contained environs (eggs). After using the restroom use BOTTLED DRINKG WATER to wash your asshole and the toilet. If you fail to do any one of these you will continue to introduce cancerous toxins into your asshole.

Oh I should add that an anon discovered some time ago that all supplements cause kidney disease. Your body pisses them out and they do nothing. Let me guess, you have kidney stones right?

>>21417224 (OP)
you ever try taking a mega dose of magnesium?

>>21418907
YEAH BRO JUST INTRAVENEOUSLY INJECT IT. IT’S PURE “VITAMINS” RIGHT?

You people are going to die

>>21418818
What makes you think that? What's the problem with tap water when it comes to ass health? What do you bathe in? A bathtub full of jelly?

>>21419308
what if I use tap water to perform an enema

>>21419313
Good question! Or brushing your teeth? Can you brush your teeth with milk? Can you use a neti pot with tap water?

well bros it took 20 hours but fucking finally. it was quite easy, relaxing, and frankly pleasurable

>even if I eat lots of fruits
I got very serious about asshealth this last year too, and studied functional medicine intensely. The most effective thing I changed was to introduce daily fruits, but specifically fruits that are high in digestive enzymes. This includes papaya, pineapple, kiwifruit, dragonfruit, grapes, plums (and prunes help a lot). The "science" behind this is these foods are high in protein-busting enzymes, and slow motility is often due to lack of proper enzyme production by the pancreas. When the pancreas cannot keep up with all the meat, bread and heavy proteins of the Western diet, we can get backed up constantly. Proteolytic enzymes help break down and digest old waste material and get things moving again.
Now I eat a little papaya or pineapple every day, and I poop at least twice most days. Used to be once a day at best.
Eat more of these fruits! Or get a digestive enzyme supplement if you're lazy. For me it's a life changer. Maybe even a life saver.

>>21419341
Thanks anon this is really interesting. I def have to get back into regular fruit. I find because I spend so much time at work a lot the fresh produce I buy ends up going to waste, because I'm just not home to eat it in time.

I will have to buy some papaya and kiwi and plums I think

>>21418780
Your doctor is a quack

>>21419347
Papaya is the best because it's high in both soluble and insoluble fiber, and also contains papain (protease enzymes). But it might be expensive where you live. It's cheap where I am. I don't even like papaya but there's nothing more satisfying than taking a MASSIVE PAPAYA SHIT.
I'm sorry /ck/ but I really cannot emphasise enough how glorious this can be for struggling fatties

>>21419383
I do really like papaya but they are a bit dear at the moment. Maybe during summer the price will drop a bit. But yeah $6 each and if I'm eating one or half a day that adds up quick.

I have the opposite problem, I shit too often.

>>21419400
You can also buy canned papaya, which may be cheaper for you.

>>21419402
probably healthy though, even if you can't hold down a job or get on public transport

>>21419404
definitely pineapple will be canned, and probably the plums too because atm they aren't available any other way. looks like no canned papaya either. I might buy one a week or something and just stick to kiwis and canned pineapple/plum

>>21419400
I would just get half a papaya or pineapple, chop it up and keep it in the fridge, and eat a couple small pieces per day. It lasts a long time. But if you get a good deal definitely eat a fuckton of it in one go. It will *evacuate* you

>>21419410
I look forrad to it

>>21419407
Ok

>>21419405
Well, okay then.

>>21417233
>>21417234
Well ck which one is it?

>>21417224 (OP)
>try hiring a monster to scare the shit out of you

>>21421044
I don't scare easily anon. I wish it was that simple though :[

>>21417224 (OP)
If you drink barley tea you'll definitely go to the bathroom. 1 bag = 1 liter and you can buy like a 50 pack on Amazon for $10.

>>21421067
I'll look into it. I don't want too many things to add to my routine. I really should just start drinking a bottle of pickerel every day or two

Make sure to get a mix of types of fiber

Soluble
>Inulin
>Pectin
>Beta-Glucan

Insoluble
>Cellulose
>Hemicellulose
>Lignin

Variety is just as important as quantity. Stay hydrated and get plenty of probiotics as well (Lactobacillus, Bifidobacterium, Bacillus, Streptococcus, Saccharomyces) from different foods

>>21421081
Nothing will evacuate your bowels like your first time drinking barley tea. Just use it as a water replacement. It tastes like coffee and is generally drunk cold. It's a concentrated amount of soluble fiber, a pretty good amount of it. This is not the same as eating vegetables.

>>21421107
If I can find it easily I'll try it out. Ammazin is not a reliable retailer in Aus anymore ever since they stopped using the postal service and started sending their gig drivers instead. Last time I ordered from them I used my work address which is a big office building with a loading dock and mailroom that has couriers pulling-up for pickups and deliveries all day long. I got "failed delivery attempt" 3 days in a row and on the fourth day it was marked "delivered" and there was a photo of a parcel under a fucking bush somewhere outside.

Anyway, I'll see if I can find some at a shop somewhere

>>21421119
Asian markets generally have the Korean brands. Look for mugicha or boricha. I can't imagine an Asian market not having it.

>>21421127
thanks friend, my bauel also thanks you

>>21421081
No, you really shouldn't. Vegetable juice like this is a scam. It's 90% tomato, has negligible amounts of fiber, and will benefit your gut microbiome exactly 0%. Not to mention, it's extraordinarily high in sodium for no apparent reason.

what the fuck is your diet like to only shit once every 3 days? I eat complete garbage and still manage to do it every day at around the same time.

>>21421397
If you took a moment to comprehend your own post, you would understand that it's entirely irrelevant and diffuses your entire question.

>>21421081
>>21421396

>>21421424
Now address the other two points.

>>21417271
>sometimes I drink a ton of water and sometimes I go a whole day at work and forget to drink any water
it really can make a big difference. especially after you eat, if you go a while with not drinking it can make you a bit dehydrated and make you constipated.

do you actually have any issues though? some people only go 2-3 times a week and it's just normal for them and they have no problems.

>>21421396
it's still win because it does have a decent amount of fibre (not a ton albeit), a ton of micronutrience, and the low sodium version has just enough sald for someone like me who pees all his salts out from excessive weekend boozing. I mean, it's not exactly a laxative but it's a good way to get your veggies in and also I find it helps turn my colon into a slip'n slide which is the whole point

>>21417224 (OP)
GIWTWM
I have UC, which means I shit around 15 times a day. I take mesalamine, which can give me good days of 3/day, but flareups are common.

>>21421438
I get all blocked up with hard stuuls so it is kind of an issue. I think it effects my diet, energy levels, and even general comfort. one should have a continual assembly line not one that starts and stops for days a time while

>>21421441
It doesn't have a lot of micronutrients and it's still a scam because it's 90% tomato juice. But if it helps you, it helps you.

>>21421444
do you consume enough salt and fat? those can help alleviate constipation. have you had tests done to make sure you don't have something going on internally like a blockage? some people actually seem to do better with lower fiber intake too. idk. just a ton of different things it could be for you to try.

try drinking more water though especially for the 5-6 hours after big meals when food is still in your stomach. if i don't do that i get constipated.

Does your asshole itch? Is your anus wet?

>>21421628
My butthole is always wet and has been since I was a little boy. I always assumed it was sweat. Do I have ass cancer?