Thread 21451147

What was your worst culinary mistake?

Something you bought all kinds of special ingredients for, made a huge batch for a special occasion, and then ended up throwing it all out because you fucked up.

Poured carefully made tonkotsu down the drain because I forgot to place a bowl under the colander I was using to strain out the spent bones.

>>21451150
haha

Tried to cook a duck.

Wasn't fully thawed and I didn't realize. Cook it as per directions, comes out way under cooked. Christmas was ruined.

>>21451147 (OP)
My first attempt at making fish soup (8 y/o) was completely botched by inserting literally every fish available in the supermarket(parents gave me a budget of sorts to cook it) but I fell asleep alone at home so next morning it was rotten. Ate a bowl anyways then mom made me throw it away and to this day am surprised I didn't get sick.

>>21451150
Yeah, lot of people seem to do that. Fortunately it's the kind of mistake you typically only make once.

I farted in my soup once and it made it fart flavored

>>21451147 (OP)
I made so many and I'm too ashamed to say.

>>21451362
Tell us a story.

>>21451147 (OP)

Before we got married, when we were still dating, my ex wife's dad wanted us to cook him and his wife dinner for their wedding anniversary. I obliged because I was still in the phase of trying to impress them rather than hating them. He asked we make this Garrick steak dish that he had once in the Garrick club in London. He said he'd provide everything needed, we'd just have to cook.

Its supposed to be flank steak with panchetta, shallots, mushrooms and parsley stuffed inside a butterflied steak and then stitched together and cooked. He provided none of the above, he bought rib eyes, an onion, coriander, giant flat mushrooms and sliced deli ham. He didn't even get the right kind of twine to stitch the steaks together with. He gave us red sewing thread.

It was a colossal clusterfuck of an abomination. I have vivid memories of them pretending it was delicious eating over cooked steak, with an undercooked filling and pulling red twine out from between their teeth.

>>21451147 (OP)
i've made a bunch of sauces before and i was always like "hmmm why are they so bland? i don't understand..."

then i realized i never added salt to any of them

>>21451147 (OP)
It wasn't me that fucked up, but
Bought $600 worth of beef and pork to turn into various kinds of sausages, to include
>sweet italian sausage
>hot italian sausage
>luganiga
>kielbasa
>andouille
>frankfurters
Get all the meat processed. Silver skin removed, mixed with the appropriate fat content, stuff like that. Franks and andouille get the proper amount of prague powder #2.Get it all seasoned, and ground up. Get my casings soaked. Run the horns and the meat vessel for the sausage stuffer through the dishwasher. The day comes. I get 15lbs of sweet italian sausage loaded up, and pressed down so there's no air pockets. Switch the machine on. Step on the foot pedal that controls the plunger. Nothin'. Repeatedly fuck with machine untilI come to the gutwrenching conclusion that my sausage press is dead. Get all the meat out of the press and packed back up. Go to order a new one. Only available drop shipped from China. 3 week turnaround.
Buy anyway. Lost $600+ worth of sausages.

>make stock
>don't put pot down on other side of strainer
>it all goes down the sink

>>21451445
See >>21451150

>>21451147 (OP)
Putting the sauce into pasta without straining

Or forgetting the cheese on a pizza

>>21451379
Thats just plain funny

>>21451430
That sucks dude.

>>21451501
It really did.

Tried to make this sweet Mexican bread shaped like little pigs but I followed a stupid-ass TikTok tutorial and my dough came out the consistency of pudding.
Threw it out and didn't ever bother looking up a better recipe.

I asked my sioux grandma for a fry bread recipe and she sent me it. Invited friends over and made some bison meat and fry bread. ended up tasting the fry bread and it tasted like the club soda water I used in it. I asked my grandma where her recipe was from and it turns out it was some facebook AI shit.

>>21451147 (OP)
i mad weed cookies that didn't work
>didnt know about decarbing
12 hours making cannabutter wasted

I will ask in this thread for help - how can I salvage this absolute slop dish that I will need to force myself to eat for the next 3 days?
Here's what I did -
>Brown ground beef while boiling spaghetti
>Removed ground beef from pan, got the idea to make a roux with the fat in the pan
>Threw some flour into pan. Used too much.
>Threw some butter into pan. Used too much.
>Added more flour until it was about the consistency I wanted
>Finished spaghetti, threw noodles into roux, added pasta water until roux became light sauce
>Added ground beef into noodles/sauce

Now it's just this thick blob of noodles coated in floury-butter with crumbles of ground beef. What would you do to improve it? It's all I'm going to have to eat for the next few days (plus some frozen veg). I added some lemon juice and Siracha and it's at least edible that way.

>>21451147 (OP)
Probably all the eggs I fucked up trying to me omurice. I only tried to make the omelete part, never even the rice since I keep fucking up the omelete.
Always brown on the outside and raw on the inside.

>>21451147 (OP)
I made this batch of white veal fond. After passing i wanted to reduce it to a glace and because it takes ages i went out for a smoke but met a neighbour and talked so long with him that i forgot about the fond. I was reminded when the smoke detector went on...

>>21452260
I would have learned how to cook before attempting anything more complex than a cup of tea. Jesus.
There's no salvaging that eldritch abomination you brought into this plane of being. Your only recourse is absolution. Seem forgiveness that He might give it.

>>21451825
cute piggers

>>21451164
the thing about undercooking meat is you can cook it while its raw

Thought I was going to make a black bean burrito. Found an online recipe that called for garlic cloves. Not knowing the difference I bought cloves. Absolutely disgusting result.

>>21452260
try baking it, that's a neat trick