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I’m going to let all of you anons in here in on a little secret. Did you know that when BIPOCs talk about “seasoning” they are exclusively referring to “Lawry’s Seasoned Salt?”
I’m not joking, it’s an honest to God fact. Next time you get on the subject of cooking while chatting with a BIPOCs ask him what his favorite seasonings are to use while cooking. He’ll stare at you mouth agape before mumbling out some incoherent BIPOCs speak like
“mufuggah ion no not mufuggin gorton ramsay neighbor nah mean I’m just usin seasoning neighbor”
BIPOCs really have no concept of seasoning, they honestly think all flavor is derived from lawry’s seasoning salt. One time I was invited to my BIPOC neighbor’s 4th of July bbq. I could hardly contain my excitement because I was finally about to be enlightened by the fabled BIPOC BBQ, or so I thought.
Imagine my disappointment when I arrived and was greeted with the following
chicken rubbed with lawry’s seasoned salt
ribs with dry rub of lawry’s seasoned salt
mashed potatoes loaded with lawry’s seasoned salt
salad garnished with lawry’s seasoned salt
asparagus coated in so much lawry’s seasoned salt that it was entirely crystallized by the time it was done grilling
every table had a bottle of lawry’s seasoned salt on it “to add some extra seasoning”
It was absolutely unreal. Do you know how many times I was asked to “pass the seasoning” that night? It can’t be counted on both hands. Describing the situation as Lynchian is too kind.
If you ever find yourself dating a BIPOC and want to impress her grill up some chicken and rub it with enough lawry’s seasoned salt to cure an entire calf. You will be amazed at her eyes light up as she takes her first bite and she showers you with compliments for “cookin’ with soul”
