Rations are military technology.

Today's topic? Marry, Fuck, Kill?

(Select one to stock, one to eat immediately, and one to replace in the 2026 menu)

>>21482295 (OP)
Chili Mac my beloved. Though they all suck now that they don't have the cappuccino instant drinks. Maple Sausage was my white whale until I finally got one recently and it was pretty shit aside from the oatmeal

>>21482295 (OP)
Just found out a peanut allergy disqualifies you from the US military while researching MREs

wat

>>21482297
>wat
penut

>>21482295 (OP)
Marry: Beef Stew. Love the little tabasco bottle and the vanilla pound cake is probably my favorite dessert.
Fuck: Can't go wrong with Chili Mac.
Kill: Tuna. Shitass off-the-shelf StarKist on a pair of the world's mealiest tortillas is both unfun and unpalatable.

>>21482295 (OP)
I ended up getting a case and have been eating them at work instead of buying those upscale adult lunchables
marry: cheese tortellini in tomato sauce
Fuck: chicken burrito bowl
Kill; chunk tuna
also who the hell decides the sides? like who thinks some of these work together, the kid from school who'll roll up a piece of white bread with canned peas and ketchup?

>>21482295 (OP)
Of those I'll lay up a chicken pesto pasta, those still taste good after extended storage, make a jalapeno beef patty burger, and suggest they replace the cheese tortellini. But that line up is out of date.

>>21482295 (OP)
The original brown bag had some real bangers.
Oatmeal cookie bar.
Fruit cake.
Chocolate covered cookie bar.
Dehydrated pork patty.

my two 2022 MRE boxes arrived from venturesurplus. the temp sticker was red?

>>21482300
>I ended up getting a case and have been eating them at work instead of buying those upscale adult lunchables
You're willingly giving yourself constipation despite not being in a combat zone?

>>21482295 (OP)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XV9lHkKKAE0

>>21482295 (OP)
Cheap ass cases of MREs from an industrial surplus site. free shipping too

https://kingsurplus.com/u-s-military/6-25-10-16-insp-extension-mre-case-12-pack-u-s-military-genuine-ready-to-eat-meals-case-a-or-b-varies-30674

buy the pallets

>>21482306
While ~2 dollars an MRE is a tempting novelty, shipping isn't free. 760 bucks on the ship quote. They even charge you for the pallet. And, I already stock long term storage foods. So buying just expired Gov. slop is endearing but unneeded. I'll send my brother a single case for the lols.

>>21482304
Literally 1 a day spread out will not give you constipation, if you eat real food afterwards, also I would rather be in a combat zone than getting repeated weld spatter burns on my head, feet and or balls

>>21482307
I'm in Las Cruces, it's just a little bit too far of a drive for it to be worth it I think.

>>21482303
As long as the center is lighter than the ring conditions should have been okay

>>21482310
ah

>>21482304
I think that's more an issue of dehydration that seems to go hand in hand with their use, I've eaten them steadily without issue.

>>21482306
$20 a case is nice, but that shipping's rough, they were $30 a case shipped on amazon a few weeks ago, the price has somewhat corrected but is still fluctuating. 2 case bundle is $69 right now, $2.87 per meal shipped. Less hassle and commitment.
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0DTGHHWSS/

>>21482306
>>21482312

i just clicked the link, that's a good price for a single case right now, the gov must have surped out tons recently.

These are good. The grappa in the pouch is crap grappa, but whatever, it’s fun anyway.

Out if pure luck I bought a dozen of these before the ukraine war kicked off in 22. They’re… okay. The meat pate’s are a joke (but stable). Their crackers, chocolate, and tea are actually quite good.

>>21482312
>I think that's more an issue of dehydration that seems to go hand in hand with their use, I've eaten them steadily without issue.
Anon, it's well documented that they are low in fiber so that the troops are more resistant to diarrhea.

>>21482304
I got a 30 dollar case to eat cause I overspent on guns last month. My farts have never smelled so sulfuric

Currently writing this on the shitter having the opposite effect of constipation but that chili Mac last night was totally worth it

>>21482295 (OP)
american mres are pure shit.
i bought a 12 pack of amazon that was on sale down to $32, they all expired in 2022.
one of them, the ravioli made me very sick. i puked off an on for 3 hours straight until i felt better.
it didnt taste spoiled, but just chemically. all the preservatives they use gave it an awful taste that didnt agree with me
the rest of the MREs were weird. two didnt have a heater, even though it said it did
another 2 came with a packet of mayo but nothing else in there to apply mayo to
anther came with 2 tortillas and a burger patty. wtf is this combo?
these all felt bootlegged or something but goddamn, ive had mres before and they are all weird and cobbled together

buy ukrainian/lithianian/latvian mres. they come with tins of liver pate, buckwheat kasha, and nice thick crackers. or better yet, just go to any easter european store and buy the same pates and dry bortsch mix for $1.50 each.

Got that MRE that they were selling on amazon a while back for cheap. MRE are pure novelty for me. So many better options for prepping/long term food storage at home. Even for hiking and camping you got way better options.

MREs really take me back to my childhood. Late 90s/Early 00s running around in the Central PA woods with my best friend. Holding our 10/22s and screaming that bigfoot and or terrorists were coming for us. We have years out of date MREs we got at the Army/Navy store for our supplies. At the end of the day we would meet our dads back at the hunting cabin. Such a good time.

I also miss when we had a ton of food/survival threads on here.

>>21482318
I ate expired food that tasted bad and got sick, the post.

wait so did I get ripped off by spending $130 for two 12 packs shipped
goddamn

>>21482321
Yeah, sorry surp is like that, you've got to shop around, and for weapon related stuff ask /k/ we'll know about deals you can't find easily.

>>21482322
but but but Hop shilled for VentureSurplus, I assumed it was a good deal.

>>21482320
i explicitly stated that it didnt taste expired. ive had 15 year old MREs and had no issues.
pic related is a lie

>>21482321
$65 a case is a pretty normal price, they've just been unusually cheap lately. A store generally won't adjust price because supply dramatically increased in the market, but an amazon seller will.

>>21482324
Were they official "commercial resale is unlawful" mres or civi ones?

>>21482324
There are a ton of fake military MREs on Amazon, as a distributor can get absolutely ball-smacked for selling real ones. If it didn't have the "unlawful for commercial resale" tag on it, you got a fake

>>21482327
Are you saying some manufacturer has made full on counterfeit MREs? Like from the ground up? Because I don't believe you if that is what your saying.

>>21482295 (OP)
They're all good, except for spinach fettuccine, which is okay if you put more salt in it. My first platoon commander would only eat spinach feta as he always made it a point to draw his MREs last. Mad respect.

>>21482328
I think he's talking about the clear packaged "mre" made by So Pack co that Dont come in the thick brown packaging technically it's a ration pack but it's far worse than the brown MREs they typically don't have much in the way for sides, and just have crackers and jelly, maybe a drink pouch, an frh, the main and a accessory pack

While I recognize the superiority of modern MRE's, I do have a soft spot for slightly older-style "cook it from tin cans" B-rations.
You are given a messkit. You are given a bunch of cans and some fresh produce like onions, potatoes or maybe some dry goods like pasta. And then you just mix and match it at the campfire.

Now, I know this is less-than-ideal especially in military setting where you might have to move on a short notice. But in more civvie/camping setting this is super satisfying and teaches you how to cook in-the-field setting. Or just have like a platoon/company-level field kitchen and have a big soup for eveyone.

Yes, this is food tech from the bygone era, and really not good especially on modern drone-will-kill-you-if-you-clump-together setting. But on a boyscout-style field camp, it's a perfectly valid, cheap and nutritions way to feed a bunch of people on the go.

>>21482330
Yeah that happens for sure but I wouldn't call that a fake or a counterfeit.

I still say even US Gov MRE are not a great buy and you can do way better rolling your own in both home prepping/food storage and in the field meals.

>>21482327
idk, here is what I have left. they are all mismatched

Can't you just roll your own MRE with mylar bags and a vacuum sealer?

just ate the pizza from my 2022 MRE. how disappointing.
now if they could put these in an MRE I'd be quite happy

My home town just opened a freeze-drying factory. It's mostly aimed at industrial producers, but they do have an option to freeze-dry your own stuff up to 100kg.

I... am a bit tempted. Like, some REAL turmat-style homecooking? One of those add-only-boiling water one? Just a test batch.
I know it's just a pipe-dream at this point, but... the infrastructure now exists...

>>21482333
Those look correct, once in awhile you just get a bad one.

>>21482330
There are lots of different kinds, sopako low sodium emergency rations, humanitarian daily rations, those are both government contracted. Then there are all the civilian ones, mostly made by the same companies, wornick, sopako, ameriqual, which have different and varying standards.

>>21482336
Astronaut ice cream!

>>21482295 (OP)
Top tier
Southwest chicken
Chili mac
Breakfast sausage
Beef stew
Chicken chunks

Just fine
Spinach pasta
BBQ beef
Goulash

Shitawful
Tuna
Jalapeño burger

>>21482296
The granola and the muffin are good, and the potato with peppers and bacon is goated. I remember mine had the cappuccino packs and they were pretty recent like last year.

I used to gather all the extra instant coffees from my unit and make a supercap with like 9 coffees. Good shit.

Who has the best cracker. Personally these take the cake.

One more case of mres on its way, kinda sad it's up to 50 when I got these cases and the hdrs for about 30 each shipped.

Who else is stacking tobacco and how much is enough? Also would gook smokes be worth less cause they don't recognize the brands? I get a carton every time I travel but quit smoking years ago.

>>21482297
Obviously making the MRE factory peanut-free is more expensive than rejecting people with peanut allergies.

>>21482295 (OP)
How do MREs actually taste like I've never had one before

>>21482344
imagine gas station good, vacuum packed, with added preservatives for taste
then imagine everything is inside a bag, inside another bag, inside a bigger bag thats inside one big bag.
they will literally put a bag of skittles in a trilaminate pouch which will be in another bag which will also be in a bag.
a 3rd of an MREs weight is all the pouches. they generate so much needless trash. i get it needs to last long and be well packaged, but goddamn, its like half the weight at this point.
You can buy a single one on ebay for around $12 if your curious. I suggest trying one from Lithuania, they are moderately priced and are a ton better

>>21482295 (OP)
>marry
Mexican Style Chicken Stew. The GOAT, hands down. If you have time to heat it, heating the rice, stew, and cheese together, and mixing it with the broken up veggie crackers is ridiculously good for an MRE. And, you get Reese's Pieces.
>fuck
Beef Ravioli. Not bad, like worse Chef Boyardee.
>kill
Chicken Pesto Pasta, I guess. I recall Pork Sausage with Gravy was pretty awful.

>>21482344
Like a can of Chef Boyardee ravioli, a vacuum sealed pack of combos, some jerky and a pack of peanut m&ms. Oh and a drink mix. There are some unique things, but a lot of it is what your mom would buy for you at the store if she were mexican and liked you.

>>21482347
>white
>thought MRE treats were bomb
>liked all of those things as a kid
Have I been Mexican all along, or did I become an honorary Mexican due to Marine Corps?

>>21482336
Bought a freeze drier a few years ago. Pretty fun, if ridiculous on the electric bill. Tried just about everything at this point. Mainly got it for hiking and camping food preservation, but you can make some fun snacks too.

>>21482347
had some of the combo's from a chili with beans MRE last Thursday, honestly they were pepperoni pizza and they were kind of ass the cornbread was good enough but the grape beverage was terrible, they couldn't even make it purple

>>21482337
I've had several meals from MREstar and have zero complaints, other than some of the shortbread cookies were a little moldy (the case was all 4 years past the bb date lmao). The pasta marinara was a little heavy on the herbs but some people really like that so whatever.
And then there's the southwest chicken. That's that good shit. Same with the tortillas and pink energy drink.

>>21482308
>balls
Why are you welding naked?

>>21482348

>Marine Corps
>half of any given platoon is usually named Ramirez or Gonzales

That tracks.

>>21482345
This is true. There are so god damn many bags and pounches.
It's probably due to each component being made by a different manufacturer, and it's just easier to throw it all into one big bag... but god damn, you don't need a separate bag for the bloody spork.

There is always so much trash. Again, I get that the priority is nutrition and in military setting they generally don't give a damn about environmental destruction but ...we COULD do things differently.

>>21482295 (OP)
Bring back the fucking Beef Patty meal, fucker came with 2 breads and bacon-cheese. That's my shit.

>>21482352
For the free tan!

No, they burn through my pants

>>21482319
comfy story anon. Thanks for sharing. I always maintain the PA /k/ommandos are a special breed. An inbreed perhaps kek
I grew up playing a lot of airsoft at my buddy's western PA summer house. We were NYC kids just dying to get out into nature. Good times.

>>21482297
>Be tank commander
>Eat MRE
>Go into anaphylactic shock
>Mission failure

>>21482295 (OP)
Ive only had American rations and one Russian 24HR ration.
And in my experience, pretty much all the USMRE mains are mid. None of them stood out to me as really excellent. But theyre decent enough i guess. For me, its all about the sides / drinks.

>Marry: lemon-lime beverage base(d). Wheat snack bread with peanut butter and (preferably apple) jelly. Sour Skittles. Cran-raspberry First Strike Bar. Zapplesauce.

>Fuck: orange beverage base type III. Regular Skittles / M&Ms. Blackberry cobbler. Potatoes au gratin. Jalapeño cheese spread. Tortillas. Cranberries. Meat snack stick.

>Kill: Reeses pieces. Crackers. Patriotic sugar cookies (they taste fine, they just get stuck in my teeth). Trail mix. Peanuts. Smoked almonds. Chocolate beverages of any variety.

Overall though, pretty much all of the USMREs ive tried are decent enough that i wouldnt mind to live off of them for a while during combat / SHTF / camping / etc.

But the Russian 24HR ration?? Shit was gourmet. I thought i was gonna get food poisoning, especially when eating the cheese / pates, but not only did i not get sick at all, the food was just genuinely good. Some of them items had somewhat “muted” flavors, but the flavors you could taste were all very pleasant. The cheese, “army bacon”, pate, beef goulash, zucchini caviar (which looked nothing like zucchini or caviar?), chocolate bar, and blueberry / cherry drinks were all really fucking good.
>ZIGGER SHILL AAAAAAA
Fuck off. I dont care about the war. The food was good picrel btw

These threads always make me hungry for processed food

Anyone have a source for a bulk order of MRE vanilla pound cake? I love those.

>>21482361
https://www.amazon.com/Pack-Desserts-Vanilla-Pound-Cake/dp/B0CY938TT6

I would argue that mres are the polar opposite of cooking.

>>21482600
thread was moved from /k/ for some reason

>>21482295 (OP)
Back in 02 I would always try to get the bean and rice burrito, the captain’s chicken or the jambalaya

Highly engineered rations like MREs are designed to give you constipation. They're only consumed when out on patrol away from base. 90% of the time, soldiers sit in a base and eat normal cafeteria food. But when they need to be out for days, often covertly, they don't want soldiers shitting. That's why it's designed to stall the GI tract.
Whereas the rations full of canned food and regular consumer products like >>21482359 are just meant to be portable food. It's heavier, but tastes better and won't block shitting. But is a disadvantage during field operations. They often include grains and veggies with high fibre content so the soldiers be shitting every single day. This doesn't only slow down movement and potentially expose presence as soldiers run around shitting, it also leaves behind evidence of presence (poo) which can be used to track a team in the field.

>>21482321
I paid at least $100 per case when I first became interested in them

>>21482615
On the plus side, that means we're allowed to get banned for /k/ shitposting.

The last time I had an MRE I was in high school and it was a Lithuanian one. The crackers were hard as rocks, but I had a good time with it.

Why are so many of them MEXICAN STYLE

>>21482318
I think you got scammed dude

>>21482295 (OP)
The Mexican strewn ones are the best. The "pizza" was a disgrace. It's like a sarcastic parody of pizza.

I know they are made for in the field, and supposed to be your only food, but there is way too much salt for regular consumption. Once I ate 2 entrees and my chest started getting tight. It's because I ate like 110% the sodium RDA, plus the crackers and cheese spread are like 15% each too.

If you want to eat them regularly. The company makes low sodium humanitarian rations. No drink, coffee, matches, and it's just the entree then a cracker and apple sauce.

>>21482296
The cappuccino instant drink was really good. Instant coffee + creamer + sugar is basically what Starbucks does anyways.

Bacon cheese spread
Cheese spread
"Wheat" crackers
Fruit juice drinks
Cappuccino drink
"First strike" energy bars

>>21482299
Those Tabasco bottles are concentrated for sure. It's 1/8oz but has the heat of like 1/4 a bottle.
>>21482300
MREs are adult lunchables.

>>21482334
Yes but you don't get to LARP
>>21482336
That's super cool. Please mess with it and make a thread here.

>>21482354
>doesn't care about environmental destruction
I'd say they even do it on purpose with depleted uranium shells.
>>21482600
It was? KEK
>>21483270
America is MEXICAN STYLE. Deal with it gringo.

>>21483278
>The company makes low sodium humanitarian rations. No drink, coffee, matches, and it's just the entree then a cracker and apple sauce.
You also get a poptart and a tootsie roll, grape, strawberry, or apple jelly not sauce.

>>21483270
Half the army is named Garcia or Ramirez.

>>21483337
It's funny how people get brave enough to be racist when ICE is in town...

>>21482295 (OP)
kill vegetable crumbles aned elbow macaroni in sauce, and the chili mac if it doesnt have meat
cant imagine eating anything in there other than the brisket though.

>>21482331
based romantic anon.

>>21482359
>Patriotic sugar cookies (they taste fine, they just get stuck in my teeth)
those are supposed to be dipped in coffee/tea

>>21482312
I grabbed 4 cases. A damn pouch of tuna costs more than $3

>>21482295 (OP)
marry 9
fuck 15
kill 17

>>21482295 (OP)
[spoiler]nice[/spoiler]

man why cant i spoiler on /ck/
mods pls

>>21482312
Update, 2 cases for $71
https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0DTGH18GW/

>>21483160
Rollin

>>21483160
I wanna kill God for making shitskins.

Have not tried one in like 20 years. Ordered a case on amazon, price is decent. Might buy another next month if everything is okay.

>>21482336
Try grinding up some nice coffee beans and freeze dry a kilo or so for your own stash of Coffee Instant

>>21482336
Get to work anon, sounds super fun

>>21482359
Where to buy Russian MREs?

>>21483160
Roll

>>21482297
makes perfect sense, actually. tons of processed foods are made near on on the same equipment as peanut products, so they cannot just guess how severe your peanut allergy is, how sensitive you are to your allergy can also change over time(but you typically wont spawn a new allergy or get rid of one completely). in the military, they will be eating at least somewhat processed foods daily, then in combat, 100% of their food will typically be processed/canned food or MREs.
people that are allergic to peanuts usually have a bunch of other Melvin allergies too.

>>21482359
>I dont care about the war
zigger shill

>>21482312
Price jumped there