Thread 21514155

Stupidest fucking thing to ever be invented

>>21514155 (OP)
It's for the poors who can't afford Nespresso.

>>21514155 (OP)
>>21514170
Imagine for one second, being so lazy and retarded that you brew up a big helping of microplastics in your coffee.

>>21514155 (OP)
*stops working after 3 months*

>>21514155 (OP)
Love my keurig had it for many years, never even cleaned or descaled it once, and am healthy as an ox. Is there any legit criticism here or just the micro plastic schizo spazzing out again

>>21514228
>Subscription service, DRM-locked, IoT juice presser that was only compatible with their overpriced pre-squeezed juice packets, which were more expensive than just buying plain old fresh natural juice from the market
Biggest scam ever conceived kek. I am glad this failed otherwise I would have lost all faith in humanity.

This was a step too far, even for the clown world we are living in.

>>21514242
It was just a test to see how gullible angel investors are. Same with WeWork.

>>21514211
>*stops working after 3 months*
it's probably clogged with calcium if you have hard water. You're supposed to descale it

why not just put a mug of water in the microwave and add instant coffee?

>>21514228
This is the first time I’ve ever actually watched this. Flabbergasted people paid, and went through all that shit to have a machine pour juice into a glass from a bag…

>>21514228
oh man i love this so much. definitely a relic of our present societies culture.

I got one of these for christmas but instead of those capsules it uses these filter pad things filled with coffee. It was really convenient if you just wanted a single cup in the morning, but if you wanted to make any more than that you had to wait for it heat up in between uses which was annoying.
I've since just switched to a percolator

>>21514438
>switched to a percolator
masochist or tastelet?

>>21514458
It makes coffee just fine. I don't like coffee makers where the near boiling water comes in contact with plastic, and i'm not gay enough to use a pour over or whatever you autists use these days

>>21514190
nespresso pods are made of aluminum

>>21514473
you could have just answered tastelet. that's totally fine

>>21514576
>t. has aeropress microplastics coursing through their veins

>>21514228
My mom was given one of those nut-milk machines that functions just like this. You get packets of essentially peanut butter that you put into the press, add water to the reservoir, and then it will press the peanut butter into a cup and mix it with water so you can enjoy non-dairy milk one cup at a time. No longer do you have to buy a quart of almond milk at the grocery store and have it take up space in your fridge.

Also the first two boxes of the pouches had arrived about a month past their "best buy" date, so that was promising.

>>21514573
Great, dementia causing metal poisoning.

>>21514190
>microplastics
Are you African? Keep on grinding lil bro one day you'll be able to afford nespresso.

>>21514659
sounds like someone is coping over their burnt coffee

I thought I would keep it simple and get a basic drip coffee machine and it was sooo sour and nasty. keurig mogs those boomer machines at least

>>21514228
How about that massive machine that made a single tortilla from one pod?

>>21514228
>>21514405
It was also faster to squeeze the bag manually.

>>21514712
This. The proper way to make coffee is pour over with an electric kettle.

>>21514712
This. The proper way to make coffee is insert hot water and grounds into a plastic container enough times that it starts to fracture, seeps into your coffee and then your bloodstream.

FYI they have reusable kurig capsule things that are dishwasher safe so you could fill it with your own ground beans

>>21514155 (OP)
I know people that don't know how to make coffee. This is the only way they can do homemade coffee.

>>21514861
seems like they know how to make coffee, genius

>>21514854
I've got two and they're kinda a bitch too clean, and I've accidentally overflowed the dispenser multiple times.

>>21514155 (OP)
yes i definitely miss sharing a pot of underextracted maxwell house with the entire office.

>>21514870
never used them myself but i saw them once and thought it was a pretty cool idea.

>>21514438
We used these when I worked in a cocktail bar that would make like a thousand espresso martinis in a night. It was great because it just did one thing reliably and I think it was the only thing that didn't break during my time in that place.

>>21514228
>over built left hand thread

>>21514681
that better be a fucking decanter

>>21514155 (OP)
>Stupidest fucking thing to ever be invented
It's the solution dubious tap water and dubious cleaning of the shared community workplace coffee pot.
It's also the solution to your not often used coffee maker, say at your weekend house, or hotel room.

Is it great? No, it's weak. It also fills up landfills

>>21514190
>microplastics
>retarded
the irony

>>21515000
>t. Keurig marketing

>>21514155 (OP)
2nd only to the air fryer

>>21514473
Me? I just use a pot.

>>21514228
The company I work for just bought the coffee version of this. One day they decided to get rid of the perfectly fine drip machine and replace it with this abomination. I have no idea what the incentive was for this.

>>21516482
I don't wish for more texture in my morning coffee. I've used a pot(kettle) a few times while camping but it always makes the bottom third of the cup undrinkable unless you filter the grounds out somehow

>>21514155 (OP)
>is the best thing invented

>>21516514
>this kills the unitasker

>>21516510
Valid point. But doesn't a percolator leave a similar amount of sediment at the bottom of the cup?

>>21516568
The final cup might have some, but it's not enough to be bothered by

>>21514228
historians will study this product as the emergence of unprecedented enshitification

>>21514228
Reminds me of that torrrrrtilla maker

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=stTzLmoStsU
My favourite part is her face after introducing the thing. "At the press of a button. UHUUUUUHHH..." and the "BOOM, DONE" dropping the pod in the functionless drawer.

But the Juicero at least was a real product that was shipped to people. The torrrtilllia maker was a scam. They took the idiot money and ran.

>>21516568
no

maxwell house instant is all you need

>>21514438
Where in the hell do you get a keurig knockoff made explicitly to use the pads hotel coffee makers use?

>>21518901
NTA but i have one by philips, it was like 30€ on clearance so i bought it. you can find 3rd party coffee pads for it pretty cheap and it's nice for making a single cup whenever you feel like it

why shouldn't I just use instant coffee by boiling a pot of water?

>>21518940
hot water heater + instant is the cheat code

>>21518915
>senseo

>>21515000
Truth numerals.

What an absolute flannel.

>>21516637
They are so unbelivably high quality that they indeed may be the last traces of our civlisation.
One day a squid archeologist in the ground will find the remains of a large gear mechanism and a pressing plate.
>We conclude that the ancient civilisation used it to press gathered fruits and berries.

>>21514155 (OP)
I love mine, but I use the adapter that lets me put in the grounds myself into a metal reusable cup. Anyone who’s unironically using plastic single use cups is just being retarded and hates the environment

It's amazing if you use your own coffee

>>21516657
Kek at how she clearly can't decide on how heavy of an accent to use

>>21514775
>>21516657
Found the webm.

>>21519075

The whole thing is a thing of beauty

-The tour all over the world her accent takes depending on how close the word "tortilla" is
-The cups which are obviously just existing store-bought cups with labels glued on (you can even see the shoddy edges)
-The clearly functionless drawer
-The obviously post-production edited in lights
-The kid and his tortilla as apparently first meal in days
-The absolutely ridiculous idea if it was a real product in the first place.

>>21514690
The ritual of making coffee, like smoking and weed and other drugs, is as important as the actual process of imbibement. I use whole beans I roasted in a popcorn popper, grind them myself, and use lightly mineralized water I boil in a kettle. Coffee is a drug and like any drug there is attached a process. If you omit this and go for the quick fix, you're an addict.

I smoke a tobacco pipe and usually use my own home grown and hand-processed tobacco. Cig-fags and vapeniggers are just interested in shooting the drugs down.

>>21514155 (OP)
Yes, it is.

Look, let me save anyone tempted to waste money on a Keurig or any other type of electric brewer a whole lot of money. Get an OXO Pour Over brewer, they cost about $20 on Amazon, and if you have a digital scale and an electric kettle for boiling water, then you're already set. Just need coffee grounds and #2 filters. It's super cheap, super consistent (water is always same temp, scale allows you to brew with a consistent ratio of grounds to water), and very easy.

I've tried many different machines and ways of brewing coffee, and I wish I had discovered this from the start and saved my money. Just trust me on this.

>>21514155 (OP)
>>21514170
>>21514228
>>21514438
>>21514688
>>21514681
>>21516482
>>21516507
>>21518915
>>21519475
You're all pretentious faggots.
This is the best bang for your buck coffee producer ever made.
12 bucks at wallmart.
You can get a double wall all stainless water boiler for 35 bucks on amazon.

>>21519570
>watery poop water
it's okay if you dislike coffee just drink tea

>>21519358
Grim.

I'll pray for you tonight to one day become successful and get ahead finacially.

Coming into this world as African was not a decision you made. However you can still decide to become a good person. Remember that.

>>21521309
Enjoy your coffee pods.

>>21518940
Because it's weak and tastes like ass.
>>21519358
>prick
>>21519570
I had a keurig in college and it was great when I lived in the dorms, because it was an all in one no mess system. Literally within six months of getting an apartment I stopped using it and switched to pour overs. Better in pretty much every way.

>>21521122
>Measuring is too complicated for me
I love it when people try to troll me by making themselves look retarded--please moar.
>>21521393
A brick of Cafe Bustelo is about 7 bucks and I can get 30 cups out of it. A 32 pod box of generic Kurig pods is over 3x that price.

I dump my Cafe Bustelo into a ceramic flip lid storage cylinder. Everyone who I make coffee for raves about how good it is--even my sister and niece who own/operate a coffee stand.

>>21523066
Who are you quoting?

For me, it's the Flair Neo Flex, the most cost efficient way to make espresso.

>>21523130
I can't tell if your regurgitating a meme that was always shit or are just retarded and don't into greentext.

>>21523350
>I can't tell
It's usually the case with retards

>>21514155 (OP)
This is great for work when you just want a cup quick. I'm not grinding beans and bringing my French press with me every time I leave the house.

>>21523357
>every time I leave the house
i don't think op ever leaves his room

>>21514438
I have a senseo and they use these pads as well, and I managed to order like 1000 pads or so for like 20 bucks because there was an error on a website.

>>21523355
I appreciate you admitting to being a retard--that makes everything cleaner.

>>21523066
Yeah, the price of the k-cups is nuts. I would buy the largest possible package quantity off amazon, and then it would be just within sane pricing.

>>21521122
>it's okay if you dislike coffee
but i want to be part of the kool kidz klub

>>21514155 (OP)
>

>>21516514
cozy

>>21524835
Pain in the ass to clean.
Pourover is better.
>>21524527
When I go to my borthers house I have to use two k-cups per cup of coffee at the lowest volume setting just so it doesn't taste like watered down mud... so it works out to be 6x the price for a k-cup for the way I like my coffee.

>>21516514
How does it make the strawberries?

for noobs that don't know how to cook coffee.

>>21526457
The industrial revolution was a mistake.

>>21525446
I had forgotten about that, most of them are dirty water. There are only a few brands that produce an approximation to normal coffee. I think the san fran bay coffee company was passably decent.

>>21514228
goddamn women are high-maintenance