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Thread 21534179

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Anonymous No.21534179 >>21534221 >>21534226 >>21534233 >>21534234 >>21534264 >>21534421 >>21534461 >>21534521 >>21534524 >>21534591 >>21534710 >>21534727 >>21534753 >>21534918 >>21535657 >>21535891 >>21535904 >>21536705 >>21537266 >>21537633 >>21539921 >>21540661 >>21541314
Brit BBQ
Called out by your own
Honest Brits say their idea of BBQ is a cremated burger patty and dry, shriveled sausages on stale bread
Brits, what is so hard to figure out about BBQ?
Anonymous No.21534181 >>21534880
Why are you so obsessed with what brits do?
Anonymous No.21534203 >>21534240 >>21534264 >>21537815 >>21538789
we only get a total of 2 weeks worth of weather on which to BBQ on every year, it's a strange and unfamiliar practice on this grey island
Anonymous No.21534221 >>21535659 >>21540754
>>21534179 (OP)
Muslim countries aren't known for their bbq
Anonymous No.21534226
>>21534179 (OP)
I read this as why brain so terrible at barbecue and that lead me to think if sweetbread is good grilled would brain be good grilled?
Anonymous No.21534230
All of Europe is fucking dying in the heat and yet it's raining in Britain. Guess why their outdoor event culture isn't that developed
Anonymous No.21534233
>>21534179 (OP)
Do ameribrits reall cue like this??
Anonymous No.21534234 >>21534238 >>21534257 >>21534592 >>21538844
>>21534179 (OP)
The same thing happens in the USA. Guys who don't cook much think they'll be grill masters because that's what guys are supposed to do so they have no idea how long to cook anything or at what temperature.
Anonymous No.21534238
>>21534234
This is an American boomer guy thing specifically. They're the ones who think barbecuing is manly and try to do it even with no idea how. Younger generations mostly just don't give a shit about it.
Anonymous No.21534240 >>21534248 >>21534906
>>21534203
>he needs "proppa weffa" to grill
lol, lmao even
Anonymous No.21534248 >>21534906
>>21534240
well duh, rainy day bbqs are just sad
Anonymous No.21534257 >>21534322 >>21534404
>>21534234
Legitimately angers me how many people don't know how to grill and just burn to black the outside while the inside is uncooked

Even worse is smores and marshmallows
I carefully keep my marshmallow at a distance and rotate it evenly and mine comes out perfectly cooked to the point where people keep asking me for mine and that it's the best one they've had, but when I try to teach them to do it themselves, they just stick the marshmallow into the fire, let it catch fire and burn to a crisp, and then insist that they PREFER it that way even if they recently indicated otherwise via stealing my marshmallow
Drives me right up a wall, many folks just don't have the patience or attention to properly cook something
Anonymous No.21534264
>>21534179 (OP)
>your own
the independent are oikophobic libcuck traitors just like the rest of the media
>>21534203
and even when we try its just bugers, burnt on the outside raw in the middle or sausages(see pervious comment on burgers).

the most ive done is smash burgers and once a pulled pork shoulder which was a real pain to micromanage the fuel every half hour for ~6 hours, came out about the same as slow roasting in the oven
Anonymous No.21534322
>>21534257
People buy cheap charcoal bbqs where it's extremely difficult to control heat and overload the grill so the stuff near the middle gets carbonised while the outside stuff barely cooks.
Anonymous No.21534404
>>21534257
>when you've downed 1/3 of the bottle and all fucks are gone
Anonymous No.21534421 >>21534906 >>21534991 >>21536737
>>21534179 (OP)
one of my guilty pleasures is watching youtube videos of people from X country try US cuisine, either here or making their own in their country, and the british reaction to barbecue always makes me laugh, like they've seen god or something
Anonymous No.21534461
>>21534179 (OP)
We’re not a bunch of colossal faggots that make some meat on a grill part of our cultural identity. It’s really that simple. We don’t give a shit.
Anonymous No.21534521
>>21534179 (OP)
Im surprises it's even legal.
I bet grilling pork can land you in Sharia court.
Anonymous No.21534524 >>21534908
>>21534179 (OP)
It's because they chopped down all of their trees so they have no way of making the charcoal needed to impart the characteristic smokey flavor of good BBQ.
Anonymous No.21534591 >>21540152
>>21534179 (OP)
way overcooked
Anonymous No.21534592 >>21534660
>>21534234
I notice this too. It's the Dude Wipes male segment using grilling as yet another masculinity substitute. They've seen it in movies so they think all it involves is just standing there watching the meat burn.
Anonymous No.21534660 >>21535956
>>21534592
as opposed to coaching it along?
Anonymous No.21534710
>>21534179 (OP)
>ragebait
Anonymous No.21534727
>>21534179 (OP)
The main reason is most people in the UK ain’t be able to pay for a bbq license innit mate. Also if they want to bbq pork they have to buy it in the black market because the uk is a muslim country
Anonymous No.21534753
>>21534179 (OP)
>Called out by your own

Journalists are not their own. They all despise their host nations and will take any opportunity to shit on them.
Anonymous No.21534805
>why is a place famous for having bad weather even in summer not good at cooking outside?
Anonymous No.21534867 >>21534875
All these poor weather excuses are lame.
I've grilled in hurricanes back in Florida twice. Just close the fucking lid, the food will be fine.
Anonymous No.21534875 >>21534878 >>21534882 >>21537916
>>21534867
>just stand in the rain bro
Anonymous No.21534878 >>21534924
>>21534875
Uh, yeah, it's not gonna kill you.
Anonymous No.21534880
>>21534181
hes jealous that we dont care if were drunk and eat a burned burger, or something like that.
Anonymous No.21534882 >>21534924
>>21534875
>the concept of shade and cover isnt real
wicked, you totally showed that guy how stupid he is.
Anonymous No.21534906 >>21534917
>>21534248
>>>21534240
>well duh, rainy day bbqs are just sad
in Florida, I grill rain or shine. I'm not literally standing in the sun for very long, and my grill is covered, so if I want smoke, turn on the propane, warm up, scrape, wipe off grate, and lay those things right down! Check on it occasionally and know exactly what is going on because I know my shit. When I walk inside, burners go off, tank valve is tightened down. Repeat tomorrow for the next meal. The only time I'm not grilling is on salad nights or dining out. Every day is an opportunity!

>>21534421
LOL, I love those videos, the brisket and beef ribs are their god moments.
Anonymous No.21534908
>>21534524
>It's because they chopped down all of their trees
I read a story once that Charles bought the last remaining intact old growth forest left in Europe to preserve it (Romania), and you can airbnb his house there.
Anonymous No.21534917
>>21534906
>LOL, I love those videos, the brisket and beef ribs are their god moments.
i am really sorry to say, thats probably all exacerbated. we do have good bbq here its just few and far between, all it takes is a few days in those slow char ovens they keep outside which every "fancy bbq house " has now. i would sacrifice a toe to try some proper southern nigga bbq though.
Anonymous No.21534918 >>21535665
>>21534179 (OP)
Not every country has to be great at every type of cuisine and that's totally fine.
Anonymous No.21534924 >>21535670
>>21534878
>just stand in the rain bro it won't kill you bro

>>21534882
>just stand outside under an umbrella bro, it's totally an enjoyable experience bro
Anonymous No.21534991 >>21535651
>>21534421
>one of my guilty pleasures is watching youtube videos of people from X country try US cuisine
Yes - always full of 'genuine' reactions, it's not like the USA are the biggest users of you-tube and the more likes a video gets, the more money the creator makes. 100% legit.
Anonymous No.21535651 >>21535672
>>21534991
wow geez now that you mention it, i guess i should never watch another video!
learn to enjoy things dude
Anonymous No.21535657 >>21536683 >>21537711
>>21534179 (OP)
Burgers aren't BBQ THOUGH
Unless GRILLED cheeses are too
Anonymous No.21535659
>>21534221
Kek, "based," to use the parlance of our times
Anonymous No.21535665
>>21534918
Why do they get so offended that their food sucks then?
Anonymous No.21535670
>>21534924
>he doesn't stand in the rain for at least 12 hours to make barbecue
Couldn't be me
Anonymous No.21535672
>>21535651
Not everything is worth enjoying THOUGH
Anonymous No.21535891
>>21534179 (OP)
What a retarded clickbait article. Imagine falling for this shit.
Anonymous No.21535895
God I want a Cornish Pasty white little girl rn.
Anonymous No.21535904 >>21535907 >>21536707
>>21534179 (OP)
just look at the food on scrandle most of the british shit is plain disgusting and looks like it was prepared by a toddler
Anonymous No.21535907
>>21535904
What about toddlers? ;)
Anonymous No.21535956
>>21534660
As opposed to controlling the temperature, moving things around for hot spots, covering it to let it cook internally faster...
Anonymous No.21536683
>>21535657
stop stealing peoples car keys anon
they need those to drive recklessly
Anonymous No.21536705
>>21534179 (OP)
The UK does fine BBQs outside of the shithole parts of the country. The only independent butchers left in London are halal and obviously cannot provide good quality pork products.
Anonymous No.21536707
>>21535904
Stadium food is a giant rip-off in almost any nation and not really representative of what the average person eats. Think of it like airport food but aimed exclusively at stupid/poor people.
Anonymous No.21536716 >>21536733
>>>/pol/513146372

Saw this on /pol/ and thought of this thread
Anonymous No.21536733
>>21536716
>going to /pol/
Anonymous No.21536737 >>21536739
>>21534421
Hook us up with some webms.
Anonymous No.21536739
>>21536737
no. get laid.
Anonymous No.21537266
>>21534179 (OP)
I have fond memories of black burgers, sausages and chicken wings from my childhood. How do I cook my food to end up with this?
Anonymous No.21537269 >>21537592
Anonymous No.21537562 >>21537689 >>21537713
Why do Americans want Brits to be bad at BBQ? They ARE bad at BBQ, it's nothing they can really be ashamed for, because they don't have a state or national food culture that formed around BBQ.
Yes, obviously British BBQ sucks compared to Texas / whatever American southern state you want. Largely because the UK weather is usually dour and wet and BBQ is an outdoor cooking activity best suited to arid and dry sunny climates.

It's like asking why don't they eat rice for breakfast in France?
Because it's just not something French culture formed around.
If you wanted to ask why does Turkish BBQ, Mexican BBQ, Spanish BBQ, Australian BBQ, Peruvian BBQ, Brazillian BBQ etc. etc. etc., suck, then SURE.
If you wanted to make comparitive questions about BBQ, actually compare them to countries that are known for BBQ.

It's all the same shit anyway.
Dry / wet rubs, spice mixes, smokers, steamers, woods, charcoals -- whatever; the geography doesn't magically make a pit in the ground to roast or smoke meat over suddenly uniquely differential to the others.
In a world where you can get any meat you want delivered to your door, any wood you want delivered to your door, any charcoal, cooking utensils, spice mixes, rubs, marinades delivered to your door etc., arguments about barbecue seem silly and small.
Anonymous No.21537592
>>21537269
you said 5 minutes 5 minutes ago
Anonymous No.21537633
>>21534179 (OP)
I love a burnt sausage or burger. In fact, when I'm round my mate's for a bbq, we burn them on purpose.
Anonymous No.21537689 >>21537698 >>21537808
>>21537562
An entire, unhinged rant proven false by a single video
A britbong has decided to just copy Texas BBQ and plans to go into bidness selling it
You think he cares about weather and climate and whatever else nonsense you rambled on about?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oxF-E7tvTQg&t=743s
Anonymous No.21537698
>>21537689
I doubt he cares about the weather. I
I've got a restaurant near me in the UK that does it, obviously all year round. It's pretty expensive but it's delicious. It's not the same thing though. Cooking meat over charcoal is a barbecue.
Anonymous No.21537711
>>21535657
h-how many fobs is the final form?
Anonymous No.21537713
>>21537562
>Dry / wet rubs, spice mixes, smokers, steamers, woods, charcoals -- whatever; the geography doesn't magically make a pit in the ground to roast or smoke meat over suddenly uniquely differential to the others.
>In a world where you can get any meat you want delivered to your door, any wood you want delivered to your door, any charcoal, cooking utensils, spice mixes, rubs, marinades delivered to your door etc., arguments about barbecue seem silly and small.
This is objectively untrue.

Some meat cuts are harder to acquire in some countries.
Some types of wood are unique to a particular region, so again harder to acquire.
Some styles of BBQ require special utensils and grills that are also uncommon.
Some spices and marinades are difficult to get right, and again some ingredients are hard to source.
Finally, local expertise is sometimes required, it's not just a matter of looking at a YouTube video.

Yes, hypothetically, you can spend an insane amount of money and get everything you need exactly right but in practice most places that imitate foreign food will just replace certain cuts/ingredients/wood/utensils with whatever is easily available because they are running a business, not a charity.

And then it stops being an authentic experience.
Same deal with Tex-Mex vs Mexican food.
Or any other place that seeks to emulate a foreign food.

Just because you *can* get an authentic Texas BBQ experience in Dubai doesn't mean you should.
Most likely it will not be authentic in some way or another.
Or it will be ridiculously expensive the more authentic it gets.
Anonymous No.21537808 >>21537820
>>21537689
You are such a gullible muppet.

You think that a single video from attention seeking nobodies actually proves anything? All it proves is that you are stupid enough to fall for it and provide shekels for the channel.
There are millions of videos on YT they must all be speaking the truth right?
Anonymous No.21537815
>>21534203
That's a valid point, honestly.
Anonymous No.21537820
>>21537808
>You are such a gullible muppet
Anonymous No.21537916
>>21534875
Basically yes. Wear a raincoat, build an overhang for your grill. You really just let some sprinkles dictate your life? How did you fucking slave cattle conquer half the world?
Anonymous No.21538789 >>21541984
>>21534203
Aren't you guys pretty temperate? As long as it's above 15 degrees fahrenheit in my state, people are grillin
Anonymous No.21538844 >>21540035
>>21534234
>how long to cook anything or at what temperature.
there is no reason to check meat temps unless you are cooking chicken on a grill.
Anonymous No.21539921
>>21534179 (OP)
YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Anonymous No.21540017
My UK friend I game with had a 600 sq ft apartment and no place to store a grill even if he wanted to break the rules which he didn't.

I think living in a big city is a death sentence tbbqh
Anonymous No.21540035
>>21538844
I meant cooking temperature. It'd still be useful to know the internal temp of anything that is being slow cooked because that's a good indicator of when it'd be tender.
Anonymous No.21540152
>>21534591
That's human meat
Anonymous No.21540646
My Dad can barbecue perfectly well but he’s half polish and nobody else I know can barbecue at all so really he’s the exception that proves the rule.
Anonymous No.21540661 >>21541182
>>21534179 (OP)
BBQ is smoking meats. That is grilling.
Anonymous No.21540754 >>21540757 >>21541661
>>21534221
Apart from turkiye. They are the masters of grilled meats
Anonymous No.21540757
>>21540754
I didn't know they had turkeys in the middle east
Anonymous No.21541182
>>21540661
>BBQ is smoking meats. That is grilling.

You're wrong. That is how the word barbecue was originally used.
Anonymous No.21541314 >>21541392
>>21534179 (OP)
I remember one time when my great uncle came to visit Australia from Britain, he insisted on having a BBQ because they never do it back home.
Dad cooked up a bunch of sausages, burgers and T-bone steaks. My great uncle took a T-bone steak and tried to put it in between a burger bun and basically broke his teeth. Pretty funny shit.
Anonymous No.21541392
>>21541314
Then I remembered I made this story up and none of it happened.
Anonymous No.21541661
>>21540754
>They are the masters of grilled meats
I don't think so.

>turkiye
This will never be a thing either. It's Turkey.
Anonymous No.21541984
>>21538789
problem is that weather is usually accompanied by rain and/or cold winds
no fucker wants to grill in that, they'd rather just pop down to the pub