Thread 21539684

What do you like eating on your birthday?
Would you rather eat at a restaurant or have it homecooked by your gf?

>>21539684 (OP)
Roast duck
I like to cook it myself, my gf is useless when it comes to whole roasts and it's too expensive to eat out.

i hate celebrating my birthday i hope my gf is some type of christian who outlaws bithdays

>>21539684 (OP)
I usually got to an all you can eat Chinese with my wife. It's not a buffet, it's cooked to order, with 5 courses. Order some, eat it, then order some more if you want. Usually washed down with a couple of bottles of sake. But it turns out that the wife is a bit of a cunt, so I usually have a few people around my mate's. He'll roast a really decent joint of beef and we'll all do whisky, jager and cocaine until around 2pm the next day now.

>>21539684 (OP)
I would like to eat my wife's gamey asshole after she spends a long day doing yard work in the ungodly humidity

None of my gfs could cook anything more than eggs :(

I like eating fried stuff because I never eat it during the year. French fries, fried chicken or a pork katsu

>>21539684 (OP)
Snow crab, restaurant preferred.

>>21539684 (OP)
Usually want a nice steakhouse experience, something historical that needs a RSVP, some nutty 10-course french prix fixe fun, or else my favorite things like Argentine or Brazilian meal. I love a terrific salad with old world choices, some waldorf salad or homemade pickles.

If someone is cooking for me, I want a pineapple upside down cake or a very good cheeseake.

A beef stew or braise because I'm a cheapskate leaf and unwilling to pay the extortionate prices they usually ask for

>>21540012
Yeah, birthdays are just a "humiliation ritual" for me now.

>>21540102
Yeah that is another point, it's just another reminder I'm an old fuck with no friends.

>>21539975
https://youtu.be/0trj6jCsm6E?si=pgr85GbB4acXkhdJ

My last birthday

>>21539684 (OP)
>What do you like eating on your birthday?
Tasty and healthy food. Same as every other day of the year.
>Would you rather eat at a restaurant or have it homecooked by your gf?
I would rather go hungry than eat a restaurant these days. My ex couldn't really cook at all so I'd have made the meal myself. Definitely making it myself now that I'm single.

>>21540159
>I would rather go hungry than eat a restaurant these days
why's that? are you autistic or something?

>>21540160
It's more that I can't masturbate to gay porn in a restaurant

>>21540160
>why's that?
Every restaurant that exists now serves low quality disgusting food for exorbitant prices, and I need to take the time to get publicly presentable, drive there, maybe wait for a table, and wait for the food to be made by aggressively underpaid and understaffed kitchen workers just for the opportunity of paying way too much for their shitty food. There are no upsides to it at all. It's more of an ordeal than just making something at home and worse in every possible way as an experience.

I'm an adult so I just eat whatever I want every day.

>>21539684 (OP)
I don't have any family or friends but I do cook something nice for myself during birthdays or Christmas, I make something that takes a lot of time and work to make. It's my whole day

>>21540169
Counterpoint: dishes and grocery shopping. I enjoy cooking and homemade food, but those two things are what puts me off most of the time. Especially dishes, either I have to postpone relaxing and enjoying my meal to immediately do dishes or I end up with a heap of them that sits there till the weekend because no one else in the house does them.

>>21540169
yeah exactly why I don't go. I've already invested in nice kitchen equipment and became familiar with how to cook and what's healthy vs. not. Also, love watching a good movie/show at the same time, then I'll just walk it off outside without stepping foot in a car. If going to a restaurant, there's little to no chance there's a nice walking trail nearby.
>>21540176
You must be fat as fuck. If you're fit, you have your set diet and have stuff you only eat a few times a year. You look forward to things more when it's rare.
>>21540189
Personally I find dishes before bed while catching up on a show to help me fall asleep/relax. That or most the time I have my gf do it. For groceries I just order everything to my door.

>>21540197
>can't even go to sleep on his own
>thinks he can talk shit about men who know what actual freedom is

>>21540189
Oh, I hear you. There's something nice about fully planned takeout BBQ or chinese, complete with paper plates, plastic forks and chopsticks, that goes right into the trash and right out to the curb. Cleanup is done. Time for feet up and dessert. This is why a restaurant is so nice, even if you come up for the dessert part of it w/sing-a-long in privacy.
In recent years, I absolutely will not grocery shop the day before a holiday meal. I want an actual full day of rest prior to the feast day.

>>21540176
so brave

>>21540189
>dishes
Put dishes in dishwasher. Press button. Dishes done.
>grocery shopping
Unless you eat out 100% of the time, you're doing this anyway. If it's still somehow a showstopper for you, plenty of services exist to do your grocery shopping for you, and they are a fraction of the cost of eating out even slightly often.

>>21540197
>For groceries I just order everything to my door.
I actually enjoy the shopping in a store, but I want full service walking to my car, and tipping a kid. Then I get home and put it all away. It's nothing you want to do on a 100F day until the sun goes down or before it comes up. I will never ever shop and then come home and start cooking anymore. I need recovery time. Shop and then enjoy something frozen or premade pops into the oven or was made in the deli. I might even get a pizza while the groeries are in the trunk.

>>21540211
Monumental retard

>>21540197
>>21540206
>order groceries
>item upcharge, delivery fee, tip
>half the items substituted
>worst produce the shopper can pick

as much snow crabs as possible
i do the same for 4th of july, 6 months apart

>>21540202
What? I choose to do things I find relaxing. I don't need to do it, just helps. That or reading, stretching.
>>21540206
yep, dish washer and it's like 10 min to just put them away
>>21540211
yeah, on weekends I sometimes go right to the store. It's nice talking to the cashier and maybe bumping in to an old buddy to chat a bit or the occasional cute girl to ask her opinion on some ingredient etc
>>21540215
just pay the yearly subscription and it's like $100 one time so no delivery fee, then for tip I usually only do $1 or $2, click no substitutions, and if the item is shit then just claim a refund and they give you the money back without needing to return. Had someone deliver my food to my next door neighbor last week, clicked my item wasnt delivered to the right place and got a full refund while I also picked up my food by walking over to my neighbors for a quick minute.

>>21540215
Then go do it yourself if that's your experience. Personally I do grocery delivery all the time and it's never like that. I'm sure you can find extremely overpriced and fee-laden delivery options, but you can also just not be a retard and pick a better delivery option. I have a grocery delivery order in with Doordash right now and I'm paying $2 more for it total than I would be if I got the same shit in the store myself. Either the grocery store or DD is losing money on this, but I certainly don't give a shit. The produce will be fine and an item will only be substituted if it's out of stock, so it's not like I could have gotten it if I went there myself.

>>21540232
>it's like 10 min to just put them away
Do you somehow generate hundreds of dirty dishes per meal?

>>21540206
IDK what kind of dishwaher you have, but mine really just sanitizes the dishes, you have to rinse/scrub most of the stuff off or they won't be clean. Plus like I said, I am the only one in a household of three who does dishes, I have tried various means of changing this but to no avail.

>>21540266
>IDK what kind of dishwaher you have
A functioning one, apparently.

todays my bday
got free wings from buffalo wild wings, my boss bought me a cake and a gift card that will be used on iced coffee before bedtime.

>>21540138
That's a good idea honestly, a spicy roast duck with a mango salsa sounds amazing in a taco or something.

>>21539684 (OP)
god I would bury my face in her crotch!

>>21539684 (OP)
I'd like to eat her on my birthday
If you know what I mean

Is this one whom Hunter Biden molested

>>21540657
jealous it wasn't you huh?

I buy beef and braise it

>>21540138
there's no sound

>>21540266
don't fret anon I bet every one of these anon's dishwasher filters is fucking filthy and clogged with food waste they didn't take 2 seconds to wipe off

>>21539684 (OP)
Meh it’s a big hassle either way, for me I don’t like spending the money eating out and if I have people over I end up spending a bunch of time and money on making food for them. Would rather just relax and enjoy something simple

>>21539975
>honey I love you but how about I focus on making the sick duck and you…

>>21539684 (OP)
I'm eating pussy
Your mom's pussy

>>21540102
ive hated birthdays since i was like 11 years old. i think i just hate all of the attention

I usually eat whatever I'm in the mood for, in complete privacy, and disregard my dietary restrictions. Last year it was a 9 piece platter of assorted nigiri with vegetable tempura and an an entire chocolate cake. Mind you, I'd been hiking all day and burned off at least 3,000 calories so I was hungry as fuck.

The cake was disappointing. I don't like cakes anymore.

>>21540652
>her
Anon, I..

>>21541720
>Oh every woman is a man
What the fuck is wrong with you pathetic affected cunts? You're a fucking dickhead, I'm tired of you and your kind. She's Paula Badosa, a Spanish female tennis player. Yes, FEMALE, as the WTA don't allow those fucking monsters to compete in the woman's tournaments. Therefore they've verified that she's a fucking proper woman. Stop watching tranny porn you fucking cunt

>>21541744
its called (closeted)homosexuality

>>21539684 (OP)
I'd like to have something fancy delivered probably. Going out to eat on my birthday feels childish for some reason, like look at me I am the birthday boy put 30 candles on my lemon meringue tart please!!!

>>21539684 (OP)
If my gf looked like the girl in your post, I'd rather have her cook.... especially if she marinates it in her pussy and ass juice

>>21543118
You have never had a gf

>>21543119
Your mom says different

>>21543131
I just called her and she confirmed that you've never had a gf

>>21543134
That's correct. I never called her my gf

>>21543134
I never had a gf but I had your mom in the back sear of an Impale SS

My gf made me a cake for my last birthday and it sucked

>>21543183

im getting more of a seared bite on the impala

>>21543216
Lucky its just seared and not burned. Your mom's ass got pretty hot iirc

>>21539684 (OP)
>What do you like eating on your birthday?
eat? im trying to lose weight so i dont end up on that "my 600lb life" program

>>21541497
>The cake was disappointing. I don't like cakes anymore.
Was that cake the camel back breaking straw?

I tell my boomer to pick me up some tendies with all the sides and dippies

>>21543902
Nah, I just wasn't impressed by the whole cakey consistency. I'd rather keep it simple and just have pudding, cookies, or sugary cereal as a dessert.

>>21540572
Happy birthday, anon.

>>21539684 (OP)
I'm turning 30 in a couple of weeks and I plan to have a smoked/grilled ribeye with potato soup and Caesar salad.
>homecooked by your gf?
lol

>>21541744
Ywnbaw

>>21544114
Nor will the pornstars that you watch all the time.

>>21544123
Jokes on you sugar tits, I'm a pornostar in real life. My balls are so big too they make grown men scream and women run for the hills. And And I'm hung like a mini velociraptor at all times. Check and mate lady boy.

My birthday is Sunday. What kind of cake should I make for myself?

>>21544126
>babba's first trolling
Aww look at babba. Wew, you're so immature. Lots of growing to do

>>21539684 (OP)
A nice steak tartare. Make it at home because I don't trust restaurants with raw meat so I get a full filet from my butcher.

>>21544281
Black Forest, a.k.a Portal Cake

I don't like to celebrate the day all my suffering began

>>21540012
Marry a Jehova's Witness then. They don't celebrate birthdays or holidays in general.

>>21544288
I accept your concession, my sexually confused friend.

>>21545035
>sexually confused
I'm not the one who thinks that a female tennis player is a man. "accepting concessions" and all that inane bullshit doesn't distract from the fact that you've been so broken from all the tranny porn you've watched, that in your warped little mind, you can't tell the difference between a man and a woman. I don't need to 'win' or 'lose'. There's nothing to concede. You've been permanently damaged by your proclivities. It's unlikely that you'll ever have relations with a pretend woman or a real woman. And you'll always be scared that what you're masturbating to is a trick. It's actually fucking tragic to witness such desperation

>>21545093
Imagine autistically screeching this much over wanna be women. Wow, just wow..

>>21545961
What's your preferred cock size on a woman? I think you like massive ones, where you wonder how you're going to get your mouth around such a big 'clitty' but get excited at the thought of stuffing it in your 'boipucci'

>>21545993
Shall we ask chat gpt my Thai lady loving connoisseur?

>>21545998
>connoisseur
You're right, I must be a connoisseur as I can tell what a real woman looks like.

>>21546003
You wouldn't a know what a real women is son even if hit ya in the face with some big ol titties. I hate to break it to ya boy, but you are in fact a homosexual. My sincere condolences.

i came to /ck/ to learn recipes for social outcasts, but all i see is arguing over transvestites

Earlier this year for my birthday I went to a cooking class so that I wouldn't be eating at home alone like every other day, and so I could interact with other humans that aren't anonymous dickheads on the internet, as much as I love you all.
There was a couple there and the guy's wife had signed them up for that class for his birthday, so as pathetic as I felt before I felt even more pathetic after hearing that. I was too embarrassed to mention that it was my birthday too and that I was there because I had nobody spend my birthday with. So I sang that guy happy birthday with everyone else feeling like pretty much the biggest loser on the planet.
Anyways we made fried catfish, baked beans, coleslaw, hush puppies, and chess pie. It was pretty good. The class itself was a waste of money really if you have any clue at all what you're doing in the kitchen, you're better served just finding a good recipe online/in a cookbook.

>>21546101
You just love it when boys argue over you huh?

>>21539684 (OP)
paulita :)

I'd go to a nice restaurant so it could double as my birthday present and doesn't obligate my partner to do something they might consider a chore

>>21539684 (OP)
I don't do anything crazy for my birthday, but I do lobster a new way each time for our anniversary. 9 recipes/variations and counting.

>>21546147
so do you just smear bisque on your monitor or what

>>21546166
Actually married, just posting the anime pic to trigger that one guy.

>>21539684 (OP)
I am making rouladen for my gf and me tomorrow for my 30th birthday

>>21539684 (OP)
I order dominos thin crust extra large pepperoni and minced meat pizza and make myself a strawberry cheesecake. that combo always makes me feel happy :)
alternatively, I go to a taco place that has a bunch of different tacos, but these past few years the dominos just feels comfier. And yes, I've tried local pizza shops, they are all dogshit.

>>21546180
Same, usually I post Pepe and Apu but pissing off the same few people with /a/ images has been fun.

>>21546091
That's still a man..look at the size of that sausage for petes sake!

>>21546114
I feel you bro, late happy birthday!

>>21546181
Happy Birthday!

>>21547058
Very comfy combo, pizza feels more birthday to me than tacos