Thread 21549266

How do you cut your 'za?

>>21549266 (OP)
With a pizza wheel like a civilized person. Into 8 slices. Cutting something round into squares is retard tier.

Scissors

>>21549280
Based and highIQpilled.

>>21549266 (OP)
fingernails
I just drag it across

>>21549280
This is the correct answer.
>transfer from oven to cooling rack
>cut with scissors directly on cooling rack
Wa la.

>>21549308
Really?

>>21549280
Kys guinea

>>21549266 (OP)
With my teeth.

>>21549359
I remember using scissors to cut a pizza at a party and the response was a mixture of amazement and anger. Thanks for reminding me of that

>>21549366
I mean, if you do it out of desperation, that's different. Desperate times call for desperate measures. If using scissors to cut your pizza like some utterly worthless neapolitan pizzaolo, it's time to hang it up. Literally.

>>21549376
Scissors work regardless of your title, I don't understand your criticism at all

>>21549366
>and anger
because they were too dumb to think about it?

Knife and fork. Best to let it cool a few minutes before doing so.

>>21549384
>i don't understand
>t. Left side of the bell curve
i remain unsurprised.

>>21549399
>ignores the part explaining why the criticism makes no sense
Feel better soon.

Do you use safety goggles?

>>21549428
safety is number one priority

>>21549444
lrn2squint faggot

>>21549480
why?

>>21549266 (OP)
Blender

>>21549266 (OP)
>lots of nooks and crannies for bacteria to hide
Yikes.

Depends on the day. Sometimes I want it in an X

>>21549642
Sometimes I want it crisped in olive oil so the edges get that lovely golden brown cheese

>>21549643
Sometimes I'm feeling low carb so I throw out the crusts

>>21549645
sometimes I want it microwaved. God damn do I love 'za

I make crustless so I don't have to. :)

>>21549266 (OP)
Radially, anon. It's the way.

Is it possible to circumcize a pizza? Like, use the roller thing to cut the good part (cheesy middle) from the bad (bread)?

>>21549671
Just make crustless pizza bro.

Into 1/6ths

>>21549671
Thick or thin. Stop giving yourself work in the first place.

>>21549673
>>21549676
based and pizzapilled

>>21549642
>>21549643
>>21549645
>>21549653
Ayo where's the meat bruv?

with a knife of course

>>21549753
I'm jewish, not allowed to mix meat and dairy.

>>21549266 (OP)
I'm using a pizza wheel but I'm looking forward to get a pizza batleth. it supposed to be great in means of keeping topping integrity. I can sharpen it when it gets dull

>>21549869
>not allowed to mix meat and dairy
no problem bro, just add shrimps instead of meat

>>21549444
>truth numerals

>>21549626
gestating mother or weak genes?

>>21549280
Nonwhite

>>21549280
BEST

>>21549402
Something working is not the same as being useful for the task.
Would you rather dig a hole with a spoon or a shovel?

>>21549671
If the crust is bad then you're eating bad pizza or you have bad taste. Stop eating bad pizza or get some good taste.

Why don't people use this? It's very convenient.

>>21550520
Because you've already got scissors/pizza wheel and a spatula, and that right-angled piece of shit would take up way too much drawer space because it can never lay flat.

>>21550515
am i digging a hole in the ground or in a dragon fruit?

>>21550530
Anon, you realize that is just a second example to further illustrate his point, right?

>>21550520
I got picrel and a pizza wheel. Pizza wheel is retarded once you take the scissors pill.

>>21550532
>answer dodger
i accept your concession, weasel

>>21550538
He's saying that a tool being technically usable for a job does not mean it is useful, in that it is well-suited for said job. He asked if you would rather dig a hole with a shovel or a spoon, to illustrate that a spoon would be a poor choice of tool for digging a hole in the ground. You asked "durr what about a dragonfruit?" Well gee anon, would you rather use a shovel or a spoon for a dragonfruit? Sounds like while a shovel could be technically usable for the job, it is not useful, in that it is not well-suited for the job.
Anon is saying that it would be retarded to use scissors for cutting a pizza when better tools are available, just as eating a dragonfruit with a shovel would be retarded when a better tool is available. Scissors can work, but it would be dumb to use them over better tools if you have them available.

>>21550550
>illustrate that a spoon would be a poor choice of tool for digging a hole in the ground
you obviously have never escaped from prison
didn't read the rest because i know it's retarded

>>21550563
Concession accepted, question-dodging retard.

>>21550550
>worldview is limited by her imagination
Must be tiny world you live in.

>>21550569
I can't deny the humor of a picture of a tiny shovel ironically having an aspect ration larger than 99% of what is posted on this board.

>>21550563
Based Alcatraz escapee

>>21549280
This, only white people are smart enough to do this

>>21549280
Have you ever gotten your pizza scissors and your poop scissors mixed up? It happened to me once, I think

Pizza wheel is obviously far faster than scissors.

>>21549276
a civilized person uses a rocker style cutter because cheese and shit gets clogged in between the pizza wheel and its axle

>>21550767
Good morning sirs.

Nicely civilized sirs use pizza batleth sirs.

Kindly do the needful and revert back sirs.

>>21549266 (OP)
With a scissor. Once you try that you'll never go back.

>>21551085
>a scissor
a single one?

>>21549266 (OP)
>'za
Based

>>21551077
I have the illness that gives you this superability. It is OCD and it is hell. For me, I worked at a shithole like that for 12 hours every day for most of my summers as a teenager. I looked like him and served dairy like my life depended on it.

>>21551195
*with a scissors
thanks for pointing that out anon

>>21551205
no worry

>>21550533
I call it the lefty wrist breaker

>>21549266 (OP)
>cutting
roll it up and eat like a burrito

>>21549280
winner winner chicken dinner!

Machete it just works

>>21549266 (OP)
I just fold it and eat it

>>21549266 (OP)
like a real man. pizza cutters and the like are for sissy ass liberals

>>21549277
it really is so much easier than a roller and prevents toppings from moving as much.

>>21551761
Roller is the worst cutter.

>>21549280
Enjoy getting tomato sauce in the tiny crevices and getting moldy scissors and have that contaminate everything you cut. But of course you grew up bathing in the Ganges and inhaling poop particles so your immune system could probably handle it it.

>>21551077
Pizsaar Pizsaar

>>21551839
see>>21550533

>>21549266 (OP)
I don't I fold it in half and eat it like a sandwich

>>21551919
just don't answer if you don't get the question buddy

>>21551077
its not even cut through the center lmao

>>21552807
But he's fast!

I will not elaborate

>>21549366
>>21549280
I want to use garden shears.

>>21553002
What is stopping you?

>>21552968
mestre
https://youtu.be/-e5gTx1fVU4

>>21553527
>How did everyone else let Brazil beat them so bad?

>>21553498
I dont actually have 'za.

gf and I made homemade pizza tonight for dinner
turned out great

>>21553962
she had anchovies and mushrooms on her half and went with pepperoni and jalapeno on mine

>>21553965
>she had anchovies and mushrooms
damn this bitch is nasty

>>21551077
jeetza saar, you try it!

>>21553965
my wife and i just did the same but detroit style lol

left half (mine): nduja sausage (the turd looking splotches), gorgonzola, shaved red onion, fontina cheese, basil, hot honey, parm
right half (wife): homemade za sauce, mozz, shaved red onion, pepperoni, pineapple and some nduja here and there, parm. pizza crust cheese is just cheddar.

>>21554295
oh and sauteed mushrooms on my wifes half

wait, you motherfuckers serious cut pizza with scissors? it's not a meme? how is it any better to have to put a tool under the pie to cut it? what do you do when you want to go across the whole pie? you just shove your dirty fucking fist in the middle of the pizza to cut through to the otherside??

With one of those pizza Bat'leth that the fancy dedicated pizza grill things.

>>21553965
add black olives to your half. It's a small difference, but a notably better one.

>>21551077
I would never eat something that a filthy wagie touched.

>>21549266 (OP)
With my 12 inch cock

>>21549869
Too cheap to sacrifice a chicken I see

>>21553958
>turned out great

>>21551839
Anglo rage is the best kind of rage. It makes me happy.

>>21549266 (OP)
Dunno.
My chef does it for me.

>>21551778
this
scissors>fork and knife>batleth>>>>>>>>>>roller

>>21551077
Dear Lord...

>>21549277
Do the metal ones work well for bread? Have been slowly replacing all of my plastic tools but plastic scrapers have that flexibility that you can't get from stainless steel.

>>21555335
no.

>>21554308
It's good practice to wash your hands before serving food regardless of your cutting method, but scissors let you decide what size slice you want and can adjust slice sizes from takeout places that quickly chop as shown here >>21551077 Also having a tool underneath ensures a complete cut through the pie first try as opposed to messing up the toppings with multiple passes from a roller.

>>21550767
If you own a pizza place I can see getting a mezzaluna for efficiency, but I just use a chef's knife on mine. Yeah, it's twice as many cuts, but that's like 20 seconds vs 10.

>>21555491
Get a batleth then.

Fork and knife, cut as eating

>>21549676
what the

>>21555602
look at mister fancypants

>>21550750
Why are you putting your poop knife back with the other utensils? It's supposed to hang off a rusty nail outside your shack.

>>21555335
>Do the metal ones work well for bread?
Of course they do, they're made out of stainless steel
>Have been slowly replacing all of my plastic tools but plastic scrapers
What? You need both dog

>>21551839
>he can't seperate the blades for cleaning
it's not easy being cheesy

bunch of cooklets in this thread

>>21556740
Why isn't Lloyd wearing gloges?

>>21556740
Why isn't Lloyd wearing gloves?

>>21549366
i sincerely hope you mean clean kitchen shears and not just random household scissors

>>21556754
Regular scissors work just fine.

>>21556759
they’re probably not nearly clean enough for me to want touching anything i’m eating

>>21549266 (OP)
>cheese and sauce get squashed up into the handle
>impossible to clean

>>21556767
>probably
are you not sure?

>>21556793
theoretically the anon i’m replying to might have sterilized his scissors before cutting his pizza, didn’t want to get hit with the “erm, actually my scissors were perfectly sterile” by being too definitive

>>21556801
Just clean them first silly

>>21556801
so... are you indian?

>>21551839
>No I don't wash my dishes how can you tell?

>>21556871
huh?

>>21556886
ARE YOU INDIAN?

>>21557168
you’ll have to speak up

I refuse to eat anything cut with scissors. I walked out of a korean bbq joint, fuck that shit.

>>21557674
Why?

>>21549266 (OP)
Little Caesar's cuts it for me.

>'za
Who the fuck made up this stupid term? Sounds like something Americans would make.

>>21558178
it's a shitposting term that people from the sharty and /qa/ use where they truncate words and add an apostrophe

>>21558178
>>21558183
You faggots are no fun
god

>>21558178
>>21558183
coal
>>21558194
gem

>>21558183
Are you an idiot, or genuinely underaged?

>>21558202
this thougheverbiet

>>21558202
all of the above

>21558230
>anime
Go back to wherever you came from.
Also, no (you) from me.

>>21558199
gem

>>21556740
biblically accurate 'za cutter

>>21556753
That's Maggrit

>>21549266 (OP)
I use an axe.

>He cuts his 'za
ngmi

>>21551077
Reminds me a bit of the egg fort man.

>>21559629
he cute

I always find myself having to press somewhat hard with the pizza slicer to get it to actually do a clean cut, is it just because it's a chintzy one I got for like 5 bucks?

>>21549276
Bro don't know

>>21560388
>expecting the shittiest device to cut pizza to not be shit

>>21559677
Based i fold it in half then again

it was a long summer, way too hot to make pizza, think i only did the two days it was under 25. hybrid dough 25% starter and maybe 1% yeast

>>21562101
how do you cut it?

>>21562141
sorry i used a cheap ikea wheel after i let it sit on a cooling rack for 5 min

>>21562195
you use the wheel on the cooling rack?

>>21549266 (OP)
however i fucking want, that's how

>>21549266 (OP)
>'za
you faggots deserve to die, i hate you with my guts, its PIZZA, you fucking nigger piece of shit PIZZA

>>21562248
Is it? I think it's za

>>21562226
no... i just make sure its not steaming too much before i put on counter top to cut so the bottom stays crispy as possibly.

>>21550767
the girls at work use that style, i prefer this version.

>>21562259
>the girls at work
You work with girls?

>>21562263
bunch of 20-30 year olds but you get the idea, i work a gas station pizza chain doing breakfast.

probably made 50,000-60,000 large pizzas at this point.

>>21562248
'alm 'own 'gger

>>21562264
>i work a gas station pizza chain doing breakfast.
At first I was like oh that's cool you probably don't have to do too much but that must get boring as hell. I'm a morning bartender and as nice as it is, it's just old people who normally just chill and talk and drink water or red bulls or something so I at least get to talk to people to pass the time.

>>21562270
it is the only food option open for breakfast in my town so I'm constantly doing something, nothing too stressful but it makes the day fly by.

Get on my level, fags

>>21551077
>good enough

>>21550344
>I'm looking forward to get a pizza batleth
Humorous reference aside, they're $15 on Amazon dude, live your dream today.

>>21562510
Images you can smell, but don't want to.

>>21549266 (OP)
quarters and fold

>>21549266 (OP)
>How do you cut
I roll mine up and eat it like a burrito

I use a cleaver.
The broad blade keeps my hand away from the pizza as a press weight onto the blade.

Last time I cut a 'za, it messed up my chainsaw

i use my sword

This or a cheapo machete

>>21564898
what's this type of knife called?

>>21564279
chain'za

>>21566936
We in the business refer to it as a 'za 'ife

>>21549266 (OP)
With a knife and fork. How else would you cut it? With your hands?

>>21568046
karate chop

>>21551077
Are pizza shops so busy that it's worth saving a few seconds cutting pizzas like this?

Probably not.

>>21568046
>can't knifehand strike
no skill

>>21559677
>>21561769
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FQDad31iu2o

>>21549266 (OP)
I don't

>>21550750

Based.

>>21568094
Since they're recording, they're probably just doing the, "Look how cool we look doing thing really fast!" without the actual competency to back it up, like those guys dicing a whole onion while holding it in their hand.

>>21549266 (OP)
i find pizza cutters to be a grain in the grass to both use and wash, so i use a kniffeliff

>>21549266 (OP)
I use a cat's claws

>>21555490
wise words

>>21571483
still attached to the paw?

>>21572164
no

>>21572164
>>21573584
cant tell which is worse

>>21549280
seems based enough
I once went to a pizza joint and parked the wrong way and entered the entrance that was not the wrong way? I don't really get it. I had an cell phone app order in and this young cuck boi was saying I need to get out. Then this old Karen were based af and said I had been there for years (I was not) and give me my shit.

>>21551077
Can I pay extra to NOT have him cut my pizza?

>>21553965
>anchovies and mushrooms
That's a strong umami flavor right there. I personally would've done pineapple and anchovie.

>>21549266 (OP)
Leonardo Style

>>21549266 (OP)
I usually end up fucking a pretty good gouge in the cheese when I rap a luke warm to mildly hot one around my dick when I'm super horny off the dextro isomer of methylphenidate, called focalin. Smoking it will have me trying to fuck the neighbor's dog but pizza is a pretty good simulator for pussy.

>>21549280
>he doesnt use a sawzall to cut his pizza

>>21574451
on the cat

>>21576256
why put the 'za on the cat and not the cat on the 'za?

>>21549266 (OP)
last time I cut it frozen in half so it could fit in the mini oven, and then i ate the giant slice like that because I didn't care.

>>21577298
>cut it frozen in half
HOW DID YOU CUT IT???!!!??!?!?!?