Thread 21580852

What is the appeal? They all taste like shit

>>21580852 (OP)
I love the way your moms rumbl cookies taste.

I look forward to the day people who pose for pics with their mouth open are hunted down and executed like rabid animals.

>>21580862
:O

>What is the appeal?
They are cookies
People love cookies

>>21580865
yeh laugh it up fuckface, but know this- politics can change quickly and the internet is forever.

>>21580875
:O

>>21580880
:o

>>21580852 (OP)
Can confirm. Ordered some once, all tasted undercooked, and just gross in general. Like, a simple cookie you make at home tastes better. Of course its women responsible for most sales, as they will eat shit like this daily

>>21580880
>>21580882
>my dick lmao
:Q

>>21580852 (OP)
I've seen them in videos. Probably a TikTok thing, considering the superficial, brainless people trying them.

>>21580852 (OP)
>What is the appeal?
brand marketing
for women it's not about whether you like or even want a product, it's about showing other women that you have it
the not-fat ones aren't even eating them and throw them out after they take photos

this phenomenon isn't limited to food, and you can see it with every product that targets women across all industries

>>21580871
These ones taste like shit. They taste like shit even compared to some other super corporate bakeries like nothing bundt cakes

>>21580888
I think the appeal is they way they look, I have to admit, they look nice, but even the basic chocolate chip cookie that I had from them tasted like drywall.

I used to keep seeing threads about how Crumbl donates to anti-LGBT organizations or something, but it turns out the head guy is a homo. What gives?

>>21580905
>Homosexual guy is homophobic
Many such cases

>>21580902
The Stanley cup thing is probably the most current example

>>21580908
Stanley cups are at least good waterbottles, if overhyped. The crumbl cookie hype makes no sense to me. When I look up anything about crumbl, people are just shitting on them. What is even keeping them in business?

>utah
Ah... it's the mormons

>>21580913
>people who enjoy the thing buy it and eat it
>people who don't enjoy the thing never shut the fuck up about it
Shocking.

>>21580852 (OP)
it's no use trying to understand the minds of sugarfags. they literally eat poison.

they discovered how to exploit food youtubers by both paying them and rotating their cookies so they keep coming back week for week for content

>>21580852 (OP)
Your pic looks fucking amazing, but having had crumbl already, man they suck ass. It pisses me off because with a pic like that, you just really want it to be a good "here, take my money!" product. But no, they had to make a something that can only enjoyed by fucking children.

Mormon cookies for the masses.

>>21580852 (OP)
Lulling Lisa just did a review of Crumbl and thought it was good.

>>21580983
what a sad life you lead

>>21580985
Right back at you, slick.

>>21580852 (OP)
The problem is their target demographic will go once or twice and then never again, it's not sustainable.

In 3 or 4 years it'll be bankrupt or massively shrunk to less than 10 stores in total.

>>21580983
I don't know who this is or why their opinion matters.
Though her cheeks tell me she's had quite a few cookies in her time, so maybe she knows what she's talking about.

>>21580852 (OP)
It's for suburbanites anon. The same people who think Perry's Grille is a fancy steakhouse and Starbucks makes good coffee. Never underestimate the culinary and cultural void that is most US suburbs.

>>21580903
>These ones taste like shit.
good to know shit eater

>>21580888
Imagine selling fast food made by teenagers and expecting them to actually cook instead of just defrosting something

>>21580905
>>21580906
political brain rot

>>21580852 (OP)
It's pretty much the Five Guys of cookies. They taste like they were microwaved instead of actually baked which probably explains why they taste so undercooked in the same way Five Guys burgers are always undercooked and mediocre. You want real home baked cookies? Go to a farmer's market or an Amish stand. It'll mog this corporate slop any day of the week.

>>21580862
>being so autistic you look at the guy in the background nobody else notices because they're looking at the subject of the photo instead

>>21580871
Do people like paying premiums for cookies they could get cheaper elsewhere?

>Soyfacing for cookies
baka

>>21581137
>being so autistic you look at the guy in the background nobody else notices
yeh it's a superpower and no you can't suck my dick

>>21580852 (OP)
I work next to one of these. It's browns constantly going in. I ended up trying one when my mom brought a box to me. I had no interest but tried a couple. FUCKING BURNT FLOUR. That's what it taste like, and it reminded me of the hatians eating dirt.

im really amazed at what people throw their money at

Never had one but I had doughy/underbaked cookies so uninterested unless someone brought them into work or gifted me some. I got bottom left as a present and I loved it, actually had a good flavor (probably soaked in syrup I don't care am never eating it again) What's really good at those subway cookies I prefer them
>>21581258
>reminded me of hatians eating dirt
Mmm calcium

>>21581321
in college and can't be bothered (probably doesn't know how) to spell "obviously"

>>21580852 (OP)
poor detected

Insomnia Cookies > Crumbl
>>21581321
how do people eat a whole one, the one time I tried one I could only eat half

>>21581426
I ate one my little sister bought for me. While it wasn't terrible, it wasn't worth half my daily calorie intake.

>>21580852 (OP)
I tried it years ago and the cookies were super expensive and not very good. Insomnia cookies are alright but also super expensive, it's just not worth it. I don't understand why you would get these cookies when you could just go to a bakery and spend less for a superior product, although I guess nobody on your Instagram feed would give a shit if you ate at a random bakery.

>>21580852 (OP)
my wife used to swear by them, but i always thought they tasted pretty average and subpar for the price. she found a new place--half baked cookies--p. good

>>21580852 (OP)
So the Harry and David of cookies....

>>21580902
hate lives rent free in your head so much that you're completely off topic. what a pathetic way to live

>>21580908
>the most current example
No that's labubu.

>>21580852 (OP)
they're for black women with no frontal lobe, white women who live and die based on their social status, and tiktok youtube "influencers"

>>21581530
no, he's right
this is exclusively marketed towards superficial women and the terminally online

>>21581530
pipe down, fatty

>>21581618
>terminally online
What does this term even mean? Isn't everyone terminally online nowadays due to phones? People can't even sit still for two seconds without browsing the web.

>>21581461
>650 calories in a single cookie
There's a reason so many people are fucking fat in this country and they're too ashamed to admit it.

>>21580852 (OP)
Sugar and fat addiction

>>21580888
*mormons
Its their creation.

>>21580959
Why's it bad

>>21580983
Looks like a sugar and butter addict thats lost her sense of taste

Reminder that this company is run by Mormons and that's why it's such sickening sweet shit, stuff like this is their only vice in life

>>21581823
makes sense now, they must be getting TIPSY off their LARGE FOUNTAIN DRINK and their CRUMBL GOSHALLMIGHTY JESUS IS GREAT

>>21580852 (OP)
Buy an ad, faggot

>>21581817
Can't tell you're being sarcastic, but i'm sure other people in this thread have already mentioned their issues

>>21581812
>When you realize "Death to America" isn't a threat but a fortune read out loud

>>21581748
Yeah man nobody as ever said "there's too much sugar in our food" before. Real bleeding edge shit right there.

>>21581607
Blacks are one of the last people I'd expect to see buying crumbl cookies, 90% of their customers are white mormons.

>>21581023
anon, do you think five guys, the restaurant where you can see them grilling the burgers as soon as you walk in, is microwaving their burgers?

>>21581367
can you believe people all over the world say lol because they can't be bothered (probably don't know how) to spell "laughing out loud"?

>>21581748
They're known to chase them down with soda, too.

>>21580983
This post is so fucking tragic that it's almost upsetting

>>21581981
LOL was developed in an era of technology where it was difficult to write anything. nobody has an excuse anymore.

>>21580852 (OP)
tiktokification of society

>>21580852 (OP)
>buy an ad

>>21581461
>I ate one my little sister bought for me
was that before or after she went to her bedroom to get her pussy plowed by tyrone?

>>21581971
nah you see blacks buying them all of the time
they love wasting their money on stupid shit that suggests they are slightly richer than de'nesha diamond down the road

>>21582391
What is your obsession with black penises?

>>21580882
:|

>>21580898
>>21580882
>>21580880
>>21580865
<==3

>>21581530
it's not pointless bigotry to hate consumerist women who are destroying the fabric of society.

>>21580852 (OP)
>What is the appeal?
It's the replacement for Subway in the easy to start franchise sector. Just like Subway, they're going to sell too many franchises, too close to each other.

>>21581978
>Undercooking a burger means you microwaved it

>>21581321
>>21581367
Honestly sometimes I do this, little bit dsylexic, so if my phone can't autosuggest a word I'll just abv it.

>>21581530
>what's the appeal?
>>*explains the appeal*
>STOP ATTACKING ME!
Go be retarded somewhere else, sugar.

>>21582391
Jewish or Indian?

>>21582084
Stay mad miscreant

>>21581530
damn this meme is so sad
>I REALLY CARE WHAT "DULL" WHITE GUYS THINK OF ME WAHHHHHHHHHH

Fucking nasty, where does she keep that middle finger?

>>21582712
>>>*explains the appeal*
generic buzzwurd nonsense don't mean anything. Is english your 3rd language?

>>21583453
>generic buzzwurd nonsense
Such as?
Point out the buzzwords you didn't understand.

>>21581530
Just lose the weight bitch.

Their cookies are usually really undercooked and doughy, almost like a big cake shaped into the form of and trying to LARP as a cookie.

Some of the specific ones, I think, since they are going for a different texture/flavor profile, they tend to overcook instead. Really, for the market they are going for, if they wanted to hit their niche better they should be doing/have done cakes, but I think when it comes to cakes people want a bigger serving, so Crumbl tries to straddle all of these boxes to extract as much money from consumerist trend-chasing people as it possibly can, and the product ends up suffering for it.

>>21580913
there are a million good water bottle brands. getting one with a sippy straw that harbors bacteria unless you're soaking it in vinegar every other week and paying $50 for that privilege is utter retardation

>>21580913
This is a stark reminder that the internet isnt real life.
Crumbl has people lined out the door every time I drive by.
I think they are expensive and mediocre, but the citizens at large dont seem to care.

There has been lots of backlash against the Stanley cups now too. People make fun of them incessantly.
Ive been in sporting good stores a lot the last 6 months.
Without fail, every single time Im in one, there is a wall of Stanley cups, and there are 5-10 women looking and buying them.

I happened to be in a Dicks the day an exclusive Stanley color released, and there was a big line to buy them.

>>21584143
I have a contigo auto seal, and I let it snap shut as im drinking. It stops all backwash and stays really clean. The straws seem like such a horrible idea.

>>21582393
what state do you live in where nogs are buying crumble? where i live, almost white people exclusively buy that shit and this is Little Somalia (MN) we're talking about

>>21580852 (OP)
Normie slop

There's a place near me called Nothing Bundt Cakes that seems to be like Crumbl but for bundt cake. Never tried them because they want $6.75 for an individual cake.

Heavy social media presence. One opened up in my city, had lineups for about a week now it's dead.

>>21581426
>>21581466
Insomnia Cookies exist due to student loan money. That's why most of their locations are on or near college campuses. Without a bunch of 18-25 year olds, flush with borrowed money, all concentrated in a small geographic area, with little to no oversight, the company couldn't exist at anywhere near the size it is now.

>>21580852 (OP)
Honestly the cookies they used to have at subway tasted better though I haven't been to a subway in about a decade.

>>21580905
those were all me, I think I got the dude to come out so maybe not a total loss?

>>21580906
also this, you can be gay and still do right wing shit (see jd vance)

>>21584453
I really only know how each expanded into NYC.
Crumbl seems solely focused on Tourist-heavy areas in Manhattan. The closest they get to a true residential neighborhood is the UWS.
Insomnia meanwhile has a much stronger establishment in Upper Middle Class Residential Neighborhoods that are more family heavy, they're in Park Slope and Carroll Gardens in Brooklyn for instance.
They really do both try to get that key young women up at 11 who are willing to pay 4 bucks for a fancy cookie demographic, but don't count out rich moms looking to bribe their kids into doing their homework.

>>21584975
So essentially they are just preying on women and thats the entire business model.

>>21580852 (OP)
>what's the appeal
being overly sweet and pretty. they started in mormon country and since mormons aren't allowed many vices they tend to have huge sweetooths.

>>21584997
I went to school with a Mormon girl and she was a huge slut. She was still technically a virgin but believed anal sex didn't count as sex.

>>21585000
trips of truth checks out. turns out a sexually repressed belief system does not make you instantly unhorny. i mean, look at the whole catholic girl stereotype.

>>21585006
Wow a stereotype? the Christian religion has now been defeated by you pointing this out, youre like a genius!

>>21580852 (OP)
Inner city people who can't bake and have more money than brains.

>>21585000
Outwardly religious women are so fucking prevy, all of them. Orthodox Jews, Mormons, Hijab Muslims.
Looking at dick, commenting on said dick, sure they are all prudish on the surface, but these are women who are subconsciously dichotomously taught from a young age that they're sacred fertility vessels and that God forgives all sin so long as you repent.
Ironically some of the biggest prudes I've met have been from more liberal religions or even agnostic. Too worried about consent, the costs of childbirth and raising a child and the affect it will have on their career. (I mean can you really take maternity leave when you've only been with the company for a few years and they could easily replace you and find an excuse within a few months of you coming off leave)

>>21584989
All I'm saying is Flowers are played out and someone's out there telling men to get their dates flowers. The heart is closer to the stomach, get her some overly pretty cookies and she'll be having sausage for dinner.

>>21585011
>stereotype of group i don't like: they're all like that!
>stereotype of group i like: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO Y-YOU CAN'T SAY THAT T-THEY'RE NOT ALL LIKE THAT

>>21581530
kek this post got the incels bubblin'

>>21585051
>cant even mock me for what I said
>has to pretend I said something entirely different so he can mock that

Unbelievably pathetic. Maybe you should pray for some help, fucking retard.

>>21585066
>still this buttblasted over a stereotype
lol

>>21585051
>>21585066
Folks, this is a cookie store

>>21585011
i wasn't trying to disparage any religions, just saying that a belief system that tells you to repress sexual urges, which is not inherently good or bad, does not remove those urges from its adherents. this can lead to what some may consider an overly eager desire to meet these urges through perceived loopholes in beliefs or rushing to get to a point where it is acceptable to do so.

>>21582557
go see a doctor mr needlecock
8====D ~ ~

>>21580852 (OP)
labubu matcha tea crumbl cookie dubai chocolate

>>21585051
Yes, that's what you did. And it is pathetic.

>>21585064
>be retarded
>get called retarded
>y-you're just mad!
okay sweatie

>>21581748
You aren't meant to eat one every day, you projecting slob.

the appeal is that the owner is a mormon and also a self proclaimed faggot now

>>21580902
>>21582586
Soilent men have the exact same consoomer obsessions in different product categories. It's pointless to gender it and you're probably more part of the problem that you'd care to admit.

>>21585748
>effeminate males are just as bad!
Yes, they're also human trash.

>>21585777
Yeah so basically everyone except you and a few other losers are trash. I'm saying you're retarded

>>21585748
>what's the appeal of crumbl?
>SOYBOYS BUY FUNKOPOPS! >:(
you're really mad about this, huh?

>>21580913
>What is even keeping them in business?
The same thing that powers half the American economy. Stupid women.

>>21585644
You're not supposed to eat more than 1/4 of your total daily calories in a single cookie either.