Thread 21638236

American desserts have such a simple humble vibe, mothers baking, time with family, pick up at a corner bakery
Nothing so pretentious and grandiose about sugar, just plain simple enjoyment and comfort

>>21638236 (OP)
Ab so lutely

For me it’s lemon bars, pumpkin bread, key lime pie, and strawberry shortcake

>>21638236 (OP)
As an American, they kind of suck ass compared to actual patisseries. I was over in the middle of fucking nowhere, Transylvania, for a month and the local cafe mogged the hell out of anything I've had from Fort Kent to Key West, especially the mille-feuilles and cream cakes.

>>21638412
Shut the fuck up you fucking cock gobbling fucking faggot

>>21638412
go back then you stupid cock gobbling faggot. there are great bakeries all over. you are choosing to buy the $6 lemon loaf from starbucks because you’re gay and swallow cum from many men at once

>>21638415
>>21638420
He's right. Yanks can't bake for shit.

>>21638415
>>21638420
It seems the inferiority of American desserts has caused some controversy. I'm sure they'll be refined into decent sweets in another millennium or so.

>>21638236 (OP)
Here's my ranking of cliche general american dessert if I'm gonna buy it from a shop
>ice cream > scones (biscuits) > loafs (cakes) = brownies (cake/bar) > bars = pies > cupcakes > normal cakes > cookies > muffins = sweet breads (like cinnamon buns or wtv)

What else did I miss, and how do y'all rank the stuff you eat?

>>21638412
Well that's the thing,there is no froufrou pretensions with American desserts. Grandiosity can be appealing or not. Sometimes a symphonic band with neoclassical shredding is appealing, other times simply solid guitar drums and bass is best

>>21638434
>What else did I miss
Cobblers, fudge, salt water taffy, milkshakes, soda with ice cream floats (the worst dessert imo), cool whip “salads”

>>21638236 (OP)
They best.

>>21638434
>What else did I miss
Donuts.
We're talking about American pastries and you forgot Donuts.
I hope you're proud of yourself, because nobody else will be.

>>21638415
Was it a black cock that he gobbled?

>>21638236 (OP)
Vibes as reason is pretentious though. Most Americans are consuming dessert from the drive-through and Walmart sloppa.

>>21640277
And yet foreigners have less options and no good sweets

>>21638236 (OP)
Oh look, it's yet another American exceptionalism thread. I bet every American who reads this gets all misty. Oh it's so humble but so delicious aren't we humble and great. Absolutely ridiculous.

>>21640595
I know, I kind of feel sorry for them.
They wallow around in their own bubble of self-approval, not realising the rest of the world just looks and shakes their heads.

>>21638674
> taffy
Why are Yanks so effeminate and gay?

>>21638422
And My God do they seethe when they realise this.

>>21640605
You reek of jealousy. You just wish you could be a glorious American with affordable land, big trucks and guns.
God bless.

>>21639900
Hmm, yes, funny, and I do love donuts. Here is the revision
>ice cream > donuts (fried dough/batter) >= scones (biscuits) > loafs (cakes) = brownies (cake/bar) > bars = pies > cupcakes > normal cakes > cookies > muffins = sweet breads (like cinnamon buns or wtv)

>>21638674
Yeah, I'm not the biggest fan of those cept cobbler, but I seldom see those sold. I'll put it on par with a pie though.

>>21641370
>scones (biscuits)
Scones and biscuits are not the same thing. Scones are crumbly with shortcrumbs. Biscuits are flaky with buttery layers.

>>21641278
Brits seethe because we're just them with way more variety due to German, Polish, Italian, Heeb, Chink, Spanish immigrants

Browns and Asians seethe because they have monoculture only influenced by us if anything, Aussies don't care they just talk shit

>>21641498
This post is wishful thinking.

>>21641502
Das truth

>>21638412
This is the worst post in board history.

>>21638236 (OP)
>Nothing so pretentious and grandiose about sugar
>s'mores
give me a break

>>21640605
>I kind of feel sorry for them
Don't. Laugh at them instead.

>>21640605
>I know, I kind of feel sorry for them.
For what? We're not the ones who torched our own civilization and murdered all of its strong young men in not just one but two world wars. All of the descendants left in Europe are just faggot sons of shopkeepers who can't even prevent their own women getting raped anymore. And not only did they lose their balls, but lost their brainpower either. Very little presence among tech giants, for one.

I'd like "wholesome" American food more if they dropped all the industrial processed shit. German cooking has a lot of simple pastries without shit like Crisco in it.

>>21641890
You do realize you don't need to use crisco in America? We have butter, probably thousands of brands of butter. In fact things like crisco and margarine are mostly relics from the 50s "future food" era that you'll rarely find in a kitchen belonging to anyone under 60

>>21640595
Are you a British woman? Id love to lick your anus do you have discord

>>21641894
he has a point though, a lot of people still think fat is something that must be avoided at all costs and consume things like i can't believe it's not butter. you cannot argue that our food isn't full of bullshit.
>50s future food
fucking boomer food. the microwave ruined an entire generation

>>21641894
The problem is "Momma June" is likely going to use vegetable shortening over butter, and if you tell her to use butter she'll get offended.

>>21641909
Well at the time all that shit seemed novel, I'm sure many food trends of today will be passe decades from now. Peanut allergy shit is definitely a hoax

>>21638236 (OP)
Is center right a peanut butter cake? And what is center middle?
Also, feel free to redpill this eurofag homebaker about some good american desserts, ideas for cakes/pie especially are welcome.
I am familiar with stuff like key lime pie, pumpkin pie, pecan pie and of course cheesecakes, but are there any lesser known things I should try out?

>>21640277
most Americans don't eat dessert and among those that do, it's usually ice cream. America doesn't have a baking culture outside of home baked goods and in most small cities a bakery is a novelty. Bakeries only become common in medium and large sized cities.

>>21640396
>no good sweets
America has vomit flavoured chocolate and terrible versions of European desserts.

>>21638412
>mfw seeing the Americans seething and raging in the comments
kek

Every recipe (not only American) has so much fucking sugar. I've made recipes with 1/3 the sugar and it's still good and sometimes too sweet.

>>21642498
The center is banana cream pie.
The center right is a banana, zucchini, apple, or whatever you want to use bread.
Fudge leaning brownies are good I don't see much talk about it from foreigners.
I usually surf through long Arthur's flours website of recipes when I want a general American treat. Although I usually lower the sugar and increase the fat a bit on most of their recipes

>>21638380
>For me it’s lemon bars, pumpkin bread, key lime pie, and strawberry shortcake
List doesn't include cinnamon rolls.

>>21642498
>Is center right a peanut butter cake?
it does look like they swirled in some PB on the top of banana bread
no one does that shit
it should have walnuts throughout
peanut butter cake for me looks like any other cake

>>21642556
Brownies only exist in America as does fudge itself, and fudge is better than chocolate and brownies are better than cake

>>21642556
Thanks anon. I see there is a lot of good stuff on there including some other things that interest me, like sourdough recipes. I will make sure to take a good look through the place when I get the chance.
>Although I usually lower the sugar and increase the fat a bit on most of their recipes
I often find myself doing that with recipes in my native language as well, especially reducing the sugar kek.
It is kind of absurd how much some people use.
>>21642619
I will keep that combination in mind, thanks.
>>21642654
Fudge is far less common, but basic brownies can be found in every convenience store here (western EU) with there also being various brownie mix packs for bakelets who are retarded or too lazy to fully make them themselves.

>>21638453
I don't think you know the meaning of the word grandiose. A wedding cake could be described grandiose. But how are european desserts grandiose? Because there's skill and craftmanship involved?

>>21643483
I would describe something typically prepared by a professional, using gourmet ingredients, and requiring expert decorating skills to be grandiose. It's not necessarily bad, but something is better sometimes about like a nice yellow sponge cake with basically applied icing rather than like a majestic wedding cake looking thing made with royal goose eggs with chocolate flowers that took a day to craft and golden shavings

>>21638236 (OP)
>American

>>21643483
Americans are so lazy that anything more than opening a box and cracking an egg is considered unreasonably difficult.

>>21643552
So what, if I made an apple pie and sourced the butter from New Zealand, the cinammon from Ceylon, and the apples from this one particular village in bumfuck Pennsylvania, that would make apple pie a grandiose dessert? Because I can assure you most bakeries don't put gold shavings on their millefeuille. It just seems to me you're making an arbitrary distinction here considering any dessert can be made extravagant by pretentious chefs, and for most a basic version can easily be made at home given you have some patience to do things right

>>21638422
oh the travesty! there isn't enough trapped fart bubbles in this baked shit! inedible

>>21642654
incorrect all around

>>21642619
you've never had a peanut butter and banana bread sandwich? with sliced banana? wtf...

>>21643919
Nope

>>21644480
we'll try it once, you might like it

>>21642514
This is just completely wrong on every level. Americans don't eat dessert? Every single restaurant in the US has a dessert offering for a reason. The miniscule few that don't or have a shitty/limited dessert offering are all foreign restaurants. Every grocery store has a bakery incorporated that mainly exists to sell desserts and pastries. Even if you meant small independent bakeries, they struggle to exist because Americans don't buy their bread from bakeries, they eat sliced factory bread. The vast majority of small bakeries that do exist are heavily focused on desserts because that's their main avenue for profit. The donut shop is the single most prevalent form of small bakery in America.

>>21638422
It’s more cultural than lack of ability.
The US is a young, fledgling nation still establishing its identity. The English influence is still strong and a reflected in many of their popular desserts such as apple pie for example.
It’s fascinating for older established nations to observe as their culture evolves and compare that evolution to historical precedents. The USA is a nation worthy of study.

in france we have some pretty good desserts too but american dessert looks amazing
I had a pecan pie once that was so amazing i've been trying to make it at home but never could manage to make it as good
never tried pumpkin pie or smore but it looks great too
american style apple pie or cherry pie also, i make it at home but i never tried with the crust "crossed"
honestly if the dessert is somewhat decadent i'll eat it, which is why i could never get behind asian dessert. it's pretty to look at but just needs more of everything
it's like giving you a crepe with one small drop of nutella

>>21644732
>in france we have
stop larping

>>21644737
pretty good right ? to me the floating island, pears and baba au rhum is overrated but the rest is nice

>>21644742
Island?

>>21644673
Bullshit. French baking was adopted post WWII in most of Asia and even Japan mogs our baking. It's sad, really.

>>21638236 (OP)
>pretty much everything in this image is based on English, German or French cooking
American’s can’t create, only imitate.

>>21645816
>American’s can’t create, only imitate.

>>21638415
You okay baby? Jej

>>21645816
>Is the cuisine of those europeans in america based on cusiine from... europe?

>>21644673
>The English influence is still strong and a reflected in many of their popular desserts such as apple pie for example.
yeah pairing the most common european fruit with the most common type of dough is a british invention
"as american as apple pie" people underestimate how fucking stupid most americans are

>>21647769
It's a totally different kind of pie

>>21647771
>totally different
>Americans put more sugar in
Whoa! It's a new invention!

>>21647771
no it's not and even if it were apple pie already exists in every country that grow apples and wheat, and existed way before the US was founded
in germany also they have their own variation but they aren't so pretentious that they have to go about saying apple pies in general are their invention
not surprising though considering the US doesn't even have a real name for it's own country

>>21640277
>Le vibes xd
Yeah funny how OP mentioned that, when it's an actual pretention (in the actual sense of the word, not the "misuse" of "hurr this shit is fancy or something")

>>21647777
>>21647783
Bullshit cope
You'll take any chance you can get to say Americans can't make a "real" pizza then take credit for American apple pie