Thread 21655030

me I tend to go for curry chicken and cold sesame noodles, sometimes with french fries or those weird boneless spare ribs.

>>21655030 (OP)
>french fries
Oh wow, chinese french fries cooked in gutter oils. The only curry there should be on a chinese menu is singapore noodles. Did you not grow up in the US?

>>21655040
Fries rule. And I'm from Iowa, where Chinese buffets and takeout are traditions.

>>21655030 (OP)

lunch for just me:
-beef noodle soup ($20)
or
-lunch special (fried rice, stir fry veg, wonton soup, protein like ginger beef or jumbo shrimp)

dimsum dinner for four:
-15 pc shumai
-6 pc fried shrimp dumpling
-3 pc sesame ball
-1 order beef & tofu hotpot (eaten over rice)

special occasion:
-deluxe chowmain
-beef fried rice
-honey garlic veal
-whole pickerel filet with green onion & soy sauce
-sweet & sour shrimp
-sizzling satay beef

>>21655112
forgot
lunch special $10
dinner for four $60
special occasion $120

>>21655040
Be nice, OP is clearly a flyover who has never eaten real Chinese food, and the ghetto corner store will readily sell french fries, fried fish, fried chicken, or anything else that will fit in the deep fryer and is eligible for EBT. But let's be honest, if you just got out of prison on a 5-stretch for a petty larceny that "somehow" turned into a rape and attempted murder, then all you want is sum dat shrimp fried rice from Happy Dragon Xpress 2-GO and a Mickey's Widemouth from the gas station next door. It just hits different, ya feel me, dawg?

>>21655030 (OP)
Spring rolls, prawn toast, prawn crackers, chicken chow mein, sweet and sour pork balls, special fried rice. Maybe a naughty bit of beef curry.

>>21655138
Real Chinese food is poverty scraps of mystery meat and rotten vegetables cooked in engine oil. Nobody wants to eat real Chinese food, we want to eat delicious western food inspired by Chinese cuisine and ingredients

> Do not eat the rice, fruit, noodles, or pudding. These are fillers. Avoid fried breading.
> Go straight for piles of the most expensive meat they have. (Usually Shrimp?)
> They will ALWAYS approach your table when you get your 2nd plate, offering water and asking if everything is okay. This is because they want you to leave. Two plates is their profit point.
> Do not drink the water they bring you, but keep asking for more, and get lemon (this is free but costs them)
> Do not drink the Tea, this is filler.
> Pay the bill before your last plate, and do not tip. (Put cash on the table to keep them calm but pick it up when you leave) Dispute the charge when you get home.
> Wait at your table a very long time before getting your last plate. Talk on the phone, make a vlog, paint an oil painting of Xi, whatever.
> On your last plate, dump the whole thing all over the counter and into the most expensive food they have.
> Knock your drink / onions sauce onto the ground by accident and play it off as clumsy. While they are cleaning the mess, keep stepping over them and getting in and out of your chair to get small plates a little at a time.
> Make sure to make a massive mess, say really loud "I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Make a big scene, and then walk out.
> Take handfuls of fortune cookies when you leave, drop them on the ground and crush them as you leave.
> Snag handfuls of chopsticks, napkins, and sauce packets too.
> After you leave, contact the city health inspector and notify them you saw baby cockroaches crawling all over the buffet and the kitchen staff were not wearing gloves.
> Go to yelp/google, give horrific but believable reviews. Make sure to explain how rude the manager and waitress were, how bad the food was; old, cold, soggy, bitter taste like mold in the rice.

Dry garlic spare ribs
Bbq pork fried rice
Wonton soup

>>21655361

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OVh0bMNSFss

>>21655275
>Nobody wants to eat real Chinese food, we want to eat delicious western food inspired by Chinese cuisine and ingredients
This is the way, although there is a middle ground, where you find a restaurant that offers "authentic" Chinese, which means all the benefits of American health code standards, and none of the drawbacks of deep-fried mush smothered in corn syrup (typical "American Chinese"). If you find a Chinese restaurant with regular restaurant seating, white tablecloths, and waiters, that's usually a decent start. If they have a regional specialty like Szechuan, even better. But there's really no guarantee.... at least one Chinese restaurant was accused of cooking mountain lions, before Rock Jews were discovered as the real culprit (and I don't mean Gene Simmons).

Singapore chow mai fun extra cabbage, order of fried dumplings, small Mongolian beef. Extra dumpling sauce if the restaurant is cool enough to not hoard it.

Biang biang noodles, mapo tofu, dan dan noodles, red braised pork belly

Drunken noodles and garlic string beans. Unfortunately my town’s Chinese places are bleh so I have had Chinese food in over 5 years

>>21655030 (OP)
>>21655044
why is that spiced like you're a 7 year old girl tho? kinda goes against the point of good chinese food

>>21655030 (OP)
As long as it's cooked by a chinaman or a mexican it's real chinese food
>t. chinese

>>21655112
sounds good. eat well

>>21655030 (OP)
if i ordered that i would feel like i fucked up

>>21655030 (OP)
*chicken curry
ESL retard.

>>21655657
>American health code standards
how are those doing these days

My plan of attack at the buffet is as follows:
Plate 1: load up on the questionable gas station sushi and a cup of egg drop soup.
Plate 2: your typical chinese faire such as lo mein noodles, fried rice, pepper steak, pork charisu.
Plate 3: get weird with frog legs, salt and pepper shrimp with the heads on, crayfish if they have them, prime rib if its Sunday, baked salmon.
Plate 4: pretty full at this point so I finish off with a few scoops of superman ice cream.

>>21655030 (OP)
noodles and dumplings, that's it. with all the sauces and some of the spicy mustard. dim sum gang .

>>21655030 (OP)
That’s too much food you fat piece of shit.

>>21656528
the dish is called curry chicken

>>21655030 (OP)
The chinese places near me fucking suck

I just make my own now
>chicken chunks from costco
>white rice
>various asian themed sauces from a boutique grocery near my house

Simple as

>>21655030 (OP)
Spice bag and a portion of chicken wings usually. Prawn toast if I feel like living it up.