>>149659019
Imagine being a Lovecraftian sorcerer in the DCU, having your insane cult followers massacre a bunch of people to summon an eldritch entity, only to have a co-ed step out of the portal who proceeds to call her stepmom to come pick her up and kick your ass.
>>149658546 (OP)
I genuinely hate Katanas so much man holy shit, most overrated weapon ever. Im not joking when I say EVERY SINGLE slashing type swords from ANYWHERE ELSE at the time could blow it the fuck out of the water, hell even african swords at the time would shatter katanas
>>149666524 >You need to find a nice, handsome boy around your age. >Brion is only a couple of years older than me. >You need to find another nice, handsome boy around your age.
>>149669610 >>149669732
Outsiders went full soap opera melodrama after a few years. Geo-Force has been romantically involved with Halo, Katana, and once cheated on his gf with Looker.
>>149670585
I crushed a bunch of Asahis two days ago and it was amazing. Feels good having your entire family in the alcohol business so you don't have to pay for it.
>>149671318 >Ya know, Tats, for a gal with a onesie that screams "Imperial Japan did nothing wrong" you sure are clueless about your racial slurs; don't you worry, Professor Gardner is here to teach you how to racism right and class is now in session.
>>149671593 >And here I thought space would be more...... >What? Disappointed that we're fighting the equivalent to the space mob? >Kinda? >Don't worry, these assholes do have some difference to ya Yakuza. They worship some half ass "god" who's due his monthly beating. >He doesn't sound impressive. >He's not but the pussy teleported me a quarter of a universe away into a star. Also remind me to punch Starjammer in the face. Never heard of a pirate in trouble with the mob.
>>149672425 >Unlike certain sword-wielding heroines I have no trouble fitting into the clothes I wore when I in school. >Kimi, weren't you a fat kid back in middle sch- >IT WAS WATER RETENTION!
>>149677091 >Tatsu wake up! the heru raida bosozuku is terrorizing Harajuku! >...and what exactly am I supposed to do? That's 20 miles from where I am! Let me rest!
You think Tinier Tatsu would agree to let me fuck her at least one time? Of course I would ask her politely first because I just want her to feel a little better.
>>149686190
Harley Quinn gets an entire mini about her farting but we can't get even get a short in an anthology of Katana fighting crime in her panties.
>>149687721
The various versions of Tatsu(Comic, Brave and The Bold cartoon, DCHSG & Suicide Squad Isekai) doing the Musketeers "One 4 All!!' Sword Pose or whatever you feel that works.
>>149687721
Tatsu striking a pose with her sword, her sarashi in tatters and breasts out, but still conveniently censored from the blood of her enemies
>>149686201
Canonically, she was married with kids but they were all murdered by the Yakuza. There's also timelines where she later hooks up and gets knocked up from Black Lightning but that doesn't happen often.
>>149692006 >This might sound strange coming from me, Lia, but as far as getting kidnapped by villains go this isn't too bad. Lovely beachside cottage, fully stocked pantry and wet bar, hot tub... >Other than having to share a tiny bed and being forced to wear these microkinis, I've got to agree, Tatsu. Another mimosa? >*smash cut to Metamorpho and Black Lightning uncomfortably staring at each other as they're pressed together on a tiny bed wearing only swim briefs* >Jeff... >Rex... >... >... >...So...you normally a speedo kind of guy?
>>149693775 >>149695618
She definitely needs to fight a guy who carries around something like seven different swords, each optimized for some random and esoteric sword technique, who constantly switches during battle.
>>149695021
Meanwhile, Halo >I think we should hurry and find your friends, miss Doe >Iβm sure theyβre all right, Superman.Boy this beach is the beeβs knees, what a view! *winks at reader* >Halo, I can do that too
>>149699813
Katana Into the Multiverse featuring: >TantΕ, the tiniest Tatsu >Tsurugi, the Tatsu who managed to reach retirement age >GuntΕ, the Tatsu who looks normal but is very, very racist against koreans
>>149700877 >Don't you dare say anything, Kimiyo. >What ever do you mean? >Just because I'm more politically right-wing than you doesn't mean you can make snide comments about an alternate version of my that is horribly racist. Her behavior and attitudes are beyond the pale and I don't want anything to do with her. >Of course I'm not going to say anything, you are not her and it'd be insane of me to compare the two of you. >Good. But I will admit I'm a little surprised. >The version of me from her universe might have, umm, called for the genocide of Zainichi Firipinjin.
>>149707317 >>149706728 >Did you really had to kick him in the balls? Repeatedly? >It's far too hot, it helps to end things quickly and he tried to cop a feel when I remove my jacket.
>>149708616 >"From the Cos-Sex series of JAV movies, it's all out ball busting action! If you thought Gangbang! Justice was something, wait till you see this!!"
>>149708884 >When a plague of deadly mishaps strikes an adult entertainment studio it's up to Katana to save the day! >Can our strait-laced heroine overcome her disdain? Will she be able to protect her posse of imperiled pornstars? Find out in Katana #87: Sex, Dies, and Videotape! >Guest starring Batgirl.
>>149709107 >.....Be real with me, Barbara. Do you look for-- >Before you finish that, no, I do NOT look for these cases. I just seem to get most of them. Unfortunately. >You're right, that was unfair to me to ask--oh god. Are they-- >Of course we had to be here when they're filming a bisexual film. >"Exciting!!! JL-Bi!!" Who'd do you think would blow up at this the biggest? >Smart money on Guy & Dr. Light but I would actually say Booster due to his likeness being used.
>>149712340
That's the reason why I think and wants Tinier Tatsu to have her own anime series in this design instead of what we've got. We could've had more fanservice along with close tummy shots, nude scenes and getting more fanarts if her own series was made.
>>149709567 >The truth is I'm filling in for Steph on this. She's friends with the woman playing her in the film, who alerted her to something going on, but she rolled her ankle leaping from a train and couldn't manage the international flight. >Stephanie is friends with heavily muscled fetish model who emigrated to Japan to work in porn films? >They met when Film Freak tried to kidnap a bunch of OF models cosplaying as the various Gotham girls, she and Steph hit it off amazingly, and Cass has been seething nonstop ever since.
>>149713736
It's more of a "fun aunt" versus "serious mom" dynamic. Tatsu was more concerned with Looker's personality rubbing off than her fashion sense.
>>149714470 >You can't go! I won't lose you! >Tatsu, it's just college. You'll know exactly where I live in the dorms and we can talk on the phone. >You can commute from home! >It's a four hour drive! >I can commute!
>>149714470 >Tatsuuuu.... Stop throwing Shurikens at my neighbours house. >He is a danger to society and not worthy of living next to you. >Please, all he does is mow his lawn in his underwear and listens to Guy Gardner's Podca- Y'know what you're right.
>>149714470 >As a parent, I get it. >Thanks for understanding, Kimiyo. >Still.....you have to trust her. Gabby isn't a kid, she's a grown woman. She has to experience adulthood like we did. >But.... >Take it from me, the worst thing you can do is do the old "intimidation with powers/skills" on school grounds.
>>149714841 >Tatsu tries to figure out exactly how bad did Kimiyo fuck up trying to use her powers or status to win an argument involving her kids' schools >goes crazy as nothing turns up in spite of Kimi's massive and fragile ego >Kimiyo was actually speaking hypothetically, as a respectable superhero, astronomer, doctor, and mother of 3 she'd never do something so crass no matter what a certain middle soccer coach might say
>>149714635 >Everyone assumes the worst when it comes to Guy's podcast >It's actually just Guy talking about sports(rants about the Orioles are hilarious), beer and every now and again sound advice to life. He's just.....Guy.
>>149715684
I'm trying to think of what other heroes would have a podcast. Booster Gold, obviously, some of the JSA old-timers having a retrospective series, and I could see John Stewart showing up on various Youtube channels to discuss either black politics or military fortifications with zero inbetween.
>>149717398
Podcasts >John has one on architecture that's so boring it's entertaining with dips into music >Booster Gold's is as shameless as you think and then some >Fire has a beauty/modeling podcast >Wildcat has a boxing & fitness one
>>149717531 >Fire has a podcast talking about recent superhero news that is more gossiping and sniping, alongside some desperate, DESPERATE attempts of being either an influencer or GOOP-style health guru with Ice as her co-host who tries to reign her in. >Booster's Podcast is about 80% ads and Ted has a science corner with a listener drop off of 95% >Jack Knight has a hipster podcast talking about hipster shit with one (1) listener that is the Shade >Zatanna has a magic based podcast which features all the magic characters good and bad showing up to talk with Bobo as her sidekick with conspiracy theories that turn out to be accurate 99% of the time.
>>149718075 >>Jack Knight has a hipster podcast talking about hipster shit with one (1) listener that is the Shade
Oh god. And you just know it would be obnoxious & funny as fuck
>>149718154 >He has Shade on as guest >It's the only episode with positive reviews because Shade keeps dissing Jack >>149717531 >>149715684 >John has a 'GL' podcast which each episode has a different GL explaining their culture and homeworld >A running gag about the million amounts of Earth Lanterns >Hal is never prepared and keeps leaking airforce secrets by accident >Guy has a swear, misogyny AND miss-information jar >Kyle keeps talking about nerd shit and his hatred for fridges >Jessica is a total /k/ nut, but also a bit of a weeb/gamer girl thanks to her years never leaving the house. Has to explain to John what a husbando is >Baz keeps talking about cars and nothing else.
>>149717398
Tatsu has one about taking care of your home. It's efficient and to the point. Nobody listens but Batman who, with Alfred missing, needs all the help he can get..
>>149734532 >What with everyone on this stupid app, wanting to eat out? What's wrong about a good home cooked meal? >You're....You're reading it wrong, Tatsu. >How, Kimi? >They want to eat YOU out. >....Cannibal Cults?! >No, no, no, no. They mean Cunnilingus. >Oh........OH. I see. >Yeah.....and from experience? Get one who can kiss both lips well. >KIMI
>>149734888 >after a long stakeout of listening to Dr. Light pretending she hasn't had sex with several members of her rogues gallery while simultaneously rating their skills at oral sex Katana realizes that Orgone Donor has escaped prison and assembled a new Libidotron
>>149736180 >So why do you hate Orgone Donor? >Because, Pexy-chan, that sexless bastard is basically cutting into my profits! >Kitsune-- >Think about it, his stupid cum machine makes everyone fuck and they don't need MY videos anymore! Do you know the potential financial disaster it could cost me?! So I'm gonna steal it and rewire it then control orgasms via everyone's banking account. Wanna squirt? 50$ for 10 seconds, 100$ for 30 seconds! >Sickening. >And you'll get a 20% commission if ya help your pal. >......25%. And you'll stop trying to take pictures of me in a swimsuit. >But the fetish-simps-- >Knife, throat, quick AND painful. >Why is it always murder?! >I'm a assassin! It also prevents future problems. >I'm your friend! >That's why it would be quick for you!
>>149739045
All of Japan erupts into outright brawl among villains to gain control of a pay to play orgasm machine. At the end it's revealed that it does not actually have the ability to control orgasms, only arousal. Kitsune just pushed herself over the edge rubbing her thighs together when testing it.