My jackass neighbors have a window and balcony on their second floor that overlooks my entire backyard. When I first moved in to my house, the jackass neighbor kept sticking his head over my fence, trying to start conversations and try to invite himself over every time I was out there playing basketball or starting a BBQ. It felt like he was trying to start a friendship like Tim Allen and the backyard dude in Home Improvement, and i just want privacy. He has left me alone for awhile but now his jackass 26 year old kid moved back home and is always partying with his friends and smoking on that balcony. I don't want these assholes having a complete view of my pool and entire backyard anymore. I don't want them to be able to stare at my wife and kid while they're swimming.

I want to plant giant clumping bamboo next to my brick wall. If it grows 3 feet a year, I should have a decent privacy screen.

In my research I have found that clumping bamboo allegedly doesn't spread. Im looking at a type of bamboo called Bambusa Oldhami, aka giant timber bamboo which allegedly doesn't spread and is easily contained. I live in a region that is plant growing zones 9-11.

I'd plant Cyprus trees, but they're prohibitively expensive and grow too slow compared to bamboo.

Give it to me straight/diy, is this idea retarded?

For the record when I bought the house there was no balcony on my neighbor's house overlooking my backyard. I'm sure it's a coincidence but they started building it while I was in escrow. They finished their bullshit balcony about a week after I moved in with my family.

Im also looking at this species called graceful bamboo that apparently clumps more and is more manageable than giant timber bamboo

>>2919099 (OP)
>Want privacy
>Move to suburbs

>>2919107
I agree, my next house im moving to the middle of fucking nowhere on 11 acres, I don't care what my family says. I can sell my bullshit California mansion on 1 acre and move to a paradise in the Midwest or Texas on several acres. But until my wife's parents die in a few years, im stuck here.

>>2919113
Man do I know that feeling. My HOA isn't one of the bad ones, but it still exists, and there's this constant feeling that someone cares about what I do on my property. Me, I couldn't give a fuck if a neighbor wants to paint his house purple with yellow dots and build a fort out of old matresses on the front yard, but for some reason others do care. Once my kids are grown and I no longer have to live close to my ex I'm gonna grab some land before investment firms buy it all up.

>>2919099 (OP)
Downside is you have to plant it 4-6 feet from the fence or in a few years you can have a nice discussion with him about why the fence is being displaced by a giant bamboo clump (that can only be removed with an excavator). It will happily break apart pots like >>2919101
to expand

An actual tree will take less space from your yard. Have you considered paulownia?

>>2919122
Im looking at graceful bamboo, it only needs to be 3 feet away from a wall and grows in the dry shitty dirt that is on that part of my property.

>An actual tree will take less space from your yard. Have you considered paulownia?
Trees are expensive and grow slow. Ideally I'd get several Cyprus trees but they cost too much for the size I'd want

>paulownia
Never hear of it, is it toxic to dogs?

>>2919122
>you can have a nice discussion with him about why the fence is being displaced by a giant bamboo clump
Does clumping bamboo do that to a brick wall?

>>2919122
>paulownia
I looked this up. Doesn't grow well in southern CA, way too big for the area near my fence, and also not as much privacy screening

>>2919132
Don't care, still growing bamboo wall

>>2919099 (OP)
I put in clumping bamboo but in actuality there is no such thing. As long as it’s away from your foundation you’re good though. You should look into White Pine and Arborvitae like thuja green giant and thuja emerald green.

>>2919125
Arborvitae Green Giant grows 2.5 feet per year. White pine is good to block things above you because by 20 years old there will be 10 feet of empty space at the lower section.

>>2919163
>>2919164
Also there is a discipline of training trees called “pleaching” where you train it into a screen. Look up “pleached” trees. You can do it with fruit trees.

>>2919166
After a while it looks pretty good

>>2919162
Bamboo is based and im a weeb. Clumping bamboo is the answer to my creepy neighbor problem

Bamboo privacy fences are a meme. You don't want that shit on your property. Just use those arborvitae you see everywhere in America. They're tried and true.

Ficus makes a pretty good hedge man, grows well in socal too.

>>2919290
>>2919303
So clumping bamboo and the idea it's easy to manage is fake news?

>>2919303
>Ficus
Toxic to dogs

>>2919099 (OP)
I want to plant Giant Bamboo in open space parks, just for lutz and maybe harvest timber.

I even ordered the seeds but never got around to it. Fairly lengthy and complex sprouting directions. Good luck and let us know WTF it goes.

I'm in SF bay area which is mostly dry "Golden Hills" wild oats grass 9.5 months per year.

>>2919099 (OP)
Just put up some netting and grow honeysuckles

>>2919168
All of it takes a while. If you want privacy now, build a wall or put up reed screening. My parents house its so enclosed with trees and plants that it looks like a aesop fable secret garden despite being on a regular sized residential lot… but took 20 years to become that filled in. Man its so beautiful

>>2919099 (OP)
just plant pine trees. mine are 50 feet tall after 20 years

bamboo will quickly become a nuisance to you and will remain one for generations to those who inherit your property

>>2919359
thats another positive

>>2919099 (OP)
Plant osage orange instead.

>>2919099 (OP)
There is no bamboo that will not spread. It is what they do.

>>2919290
This, Thuja occidentalis.

>>2919125
>Never hear of it, is it toxic to dogs?
Why is this a problem? Do you have a completely untrained maniac dog that just runs around your yard eating every plant it sees? Discipline your dog.

>>2919107
It is difficult or possible for many to move to rural areas because they have to have this thing called a career and there might not be any work for them out in the boonies. I used to have to commute over an hour each way per day to keep my rural lifestyle and maintain my career.

You'll want a thick barrier plastic about 3 feet deep to stop thw spreading roots. As long as you dig a trench and sink in a plastic wall, not sheeting, actually 1/2cm plastic, you shouldn't have it spread.

>>2919166
Looks like tree torture

>>2922249
>I used to have to commute over an hour each way per day to keep my rural lifestyle and maintain my career.
It is common for people to commute between 1-2 hours each way and they don't even get a rural lifestyle. Just bumper to bumper on the interstate to make it from city to city.

>>2922262
>shouldn't
That word is such a meme.

>>2922262
NIgga, plastic bags are for flowerbeds. Bamboo busts through concrete with ease.

>>2922266
kek

>>2922242
thats green moron

>>2919099 (OP)
>thinks bamboo won't spread
lol
Clumping bamboo doesn't spread AS much as running bamboo, but I can assure you, it spreads
A running bamboo will spread ALL over your garden and beyond. A clumping one is manageable, but with a small garden, don't think that it will just do what you want. You have to make it do what you want by root barriers and you can even dig up a root and plant it on up your garden fence if it isn't spreading over there in a few years. It will spread into your neighbours garden if you put it by the fence if there is no underground barrier. Bambusa Oldhamii specifically will spread around 10-15 feet in any direction. It is a good idea to grow IF you give it a clear barrier to grow within. Btw you can eat the shoots of that variety

I love bamboo. I know all this shit because I have been obsessed with it since I was a child. It's a really cool plant. But you got to know how much space it can take if you have a small garden and prepare in accordance. If you put a good barrier under the fence, I say do it. You can also put a barrier in what ever shape you like on your side of the garden for it to grow in. It is just nice to let it grow

>>2919357
No, it depends where you put it, how much room you have, the species and the methods you use to control it
Bambusa Oldhamii should be fine if you have a good root barrier like a brick wall or concrete where you don't want it to spread. Otherwise, it will not spread too much

>>2919126
No, you're good. Put it in
Some running bamboo can literally grow under a road and come out on the other side. No clumping bamboo will do that. They will sometimes make roots grow a few feet away from the main clump to form a new one, and that should be fine. The wall will have a concrete base, it's not going to grow deeper than that and it won't penetrate walls or move or damage them. But maybe keep it away from flagstones. Giant bamboo could probably lift that. Again, make a root barrier

>>2922344
kek

The county recently did some work on an easement behind my property, and part of that was stripping off all the native vegetation so they could dig a trench for a new pipeline.
I was mildly concerned about erosion, and so I asked them if they had plans to reseed anything back there when they were done. They said no.
I said "Oh ok, I'll just put some bamboo shoots down when you're done, and that will prevent erosion"
They nearly had a fit, and about a week later they sprayed hydroseed mulch all over the hillside. It's not the scrub oak we had before, but its something

>>2922533
Damn. Nice move, anon. Plus, checked.

>>2919099 (OP)
>I don't want them to be able to stare at my wife
answer's staring you in the face. become a cuckold. think of all the possibilities.

alternatively, install cctv pointed back at your neighbor's balcony so whenever he's looking at you, he feels awkward about it like he's being watched.

>>2922533
This is how you deal with useless bureaucrats.

>>2922310
"Sheet" like a "sheet of plywood" you don't need an under layer just put some several CM think sheets of RIDGED plastic or plexiglass as a boarder 3ft deep to stop the runners. They won't go deeper than that.

>>2923233
If you're gonna go to the trouble of digging a 3' trench you ought to do yourself a favor and buy the product designed for that particular use case; a high quality rhizome barrier. It's gonna do a better job and it's gonna be easier to install.

>>2923238
>>rhizome barrier
Yeah, that.
Get that. Had no idea what that was called.

>>2919099 (OP)
>>2922402
I'm in a similar situation, climate wise as well, as OP here. I just moved into a new house and was thinking to use some metal stock tanks to contain the bamboo and block out neighbors. Would be cool to have them like 90% buried into the substrate to give an elevated effect.. and I was thinking beneath the layer of top soil, to have wood to rot and provide nutrients later, then a layer of rocks beneath the tank itself.

>>2919113
I did this desu.
I paid $215 for a 4 bed in rough shape, and 12 acres of land.
Only ragret I have is not knocking down the house to build a new one because the reno was retarded.
The other only ragret is not buying a tractor the moment I moved in but asking a lawnfag friend what mower to buy.
So instead of $15k tractor, I bought a $5k mower and a $15k tractor.

>>2924807
Yeah that can work. As long as they are deep and wide enough. And maybe drill some holes at the bottom if you want drainage. If there's no holes, come a storm or heavy rain it will bog. Bamboo shouldn't mind getting waterlogged, but you just might not want that. It shouldn't matter too much. I'd say that putting some wood to rot down is a good idea too. And any weeds you get from the garden you can kill them in the sun and then throw em on for mulch and extra nutrients. It's a solid plan

>>2919099 (OP)
It’s a good idea. The species you mentioned is the most commonly planted in the USA though. Go with something neato, something that smells good, and you can eat https://www.bamboogarden.com/bamboo/phyllostachys-atrovaginata

>>2919357
I have 3 clumping bamboos but I’m zone 5 and they are planted on north side in close to full shade. The rabbits love to eat them too, but they will not die. They will always be a clump. I plan on dividing them to plant more

>>2924830
You can eat Bambusa Oldhamii too, but that's also a good choice

>>2920878
I second this, except do like 5 kinds of vines. Two different kinds of honeysuckle, two varieties of grape, and chocolate vine. Make an absolute jungle walk

>>2924830
>>2924833
Well, provided you have a good root barrier. That is a running bamboo

>>2924835
You’ll just have to eat your way out of this problem

>>2924837
lol

>>2924829
Yeah I have a shit ton of very short equisetum I can tear out to use as buffer.

>>2924807
Use lump charcoal instead of rocks. If you ever need to move it you will thank yourself.

>>2924807
Get some lava rock in there. That shit's fire for plants.

>>2919099 (OP)
Bambo is a good idea but I bet it will spread anyway. Lay some plastic to contain it and go for it.

>>2924954
Charcoal is a great idea especially if you make your own biochar. It’s light and provides bioavailable substrate for the plants versus rocks. Fantastic idea.

Here’s 2/3 clumping variety bamboos I planted maybe 5 years ago, zone 5. The smol one is just now putting up new culms, but it’s hidden on the north side of the house tucked around a corner under a deck. The other one is also north side of the house and almost no direct sunlight, it does better, highest culms are maybe 8 feet. Note I bought all smallish clumping varieties. I was mostly going off what could survive zone 5 when I bought, and targeting hollow stem varieties with straw like diameters for some reason

>>2925049
Oops can’t attach pics they too big

>>2919425
Plant kudzu instead.

>>2919099 (OP)
Stop being a retard. Just build a taller fence.
Also consider enclosing the pool area if you want more privacy.

>>2925639
Kudzu isn't that hard to remove. You just mow it and then hoe the crowns.

>>2921596
Ma men

>>2919099 (OP)
>stare at my wife
You just know they're snapchating your wife's tits and ass to all the neighborhood to see.

>>2925873
Glhf

>>2919099 (OP)
>clumping bamboo allegedly doesn't spread.
I honestly wouldn't risk it and plant bamboo in a contained trough.
You can make a big one yourself with wood.

>>2925941
>the virgin bamboo fearer

>>2919099 (OP)
Lay out butt naked and sunbathe in your back yard. Consult a lawyer first.

>>2925941
>with wood
That isn't gonna stop bamboo, mate.

>>2919357
it will become a nightmare you will never be able to get rid of.
Or so I hear

>>2919099 (OP)
Plant oldhamii and use ratchet straps so they grow straight, after they get old enough (3 years) cut them and build cool shit with it. Or just burn it idk.

Oldhamii is the most hardy i think

>>2919099 (OP)
Just be advised you will need an excavator or bulldozer to remove it after a few years.

>>2922249
>Do you have a completely untrained maniac dog that just runs around your yard eating every plant it sees?
When dogs have stomach issues they start eating greens, you don't really get a choice in it. Mine recently poisoned himself on lily of the valley and I wound up spending $600 on vet visits before I figured it out

>>2924834
Was just going to say. Hops or other - grows quick in the spring so by the time summer rolls around you should have a somewhat private yard.
Additionally, you say that you're only there until in-laws hop the twig, so perhaps a 20 year project not ideal?

>>2929522
>doesnt have his own recreational mini excavator
ngmi

>>2926016
This may be the solution.

If you can legally walk around nude on your fenced in property, do so. This will persuade the neighbors to build a taller fence .

I have nature blocks on all my fences because I dont want to stare at illegal immigrants or what they do in their yard. Ligustrum works well, training and pruning peach trees works well. All of it needs topping maintenance to force the foliage to grow into the correct zone for privacy blocking.

>>2922242
That’s not hedge trees Cletus

For quick screening you can stagger trees like green giant (Christmas tree shaped) or emerald green ((more boxxy (queen) looking)). Instead of a straight line if you stagger they will grow together and have a quicker impact.

ADS makes a product called Bamboo Barrier that is like a plastic resin panel you put around your bamboo roots to prevent it from growing invasive. Also rolls of it you can buy online of a more flexible kind.

Why the anglo saxons so fucking antisocial? Feels like all of you have farm people genes, and will never get used to been civilized and living in a metropolitan area. Fuck, learn to be like the Romans.

>>2922266
Kek and check

>>2919099 (OP)
What kind of bamboo would grow and spread the quickest in a notdic climate?
I want to grow it for charcoal and biochar.
Might work for making pellets as well?

Bamboo is extremely hard to uproot. It grows fast and it is extremely hard to remove, if at all.