Thread 2929427

I hear they require Septic Tank and fresh water inspection, and "structural" (I've done some Termite/Dryrot/Foundation Replacement), and USDA doesn't want too many other COMMERCIAL type buildings or too much acreage like real farm.

But what about mostly cosmetic non-structural "fixer upper" stuff? What if a few beds and baths are missing doors and even door jams, or its got a few gaping holes kicked in the sheet rock, or carpet is all tore up and just bare floors, and whole thing needs paint and caulk?

And will need new roof shortly?

Also, what do you think about this "woody", and WTF were they smoking when they built it?

IMO either it looks pretty cool inside or the person with the camera knows WTF they are doing with colors.

But is there any "fixer upper" items that will nix an USDA loan, and how much PIA is USDA to get? Will most RE bitches balk because it means them earning their pay?

If "USDA" is not listed does that mean "Sorry" or are all these RE Agents just lazy and stupid and doing a shit job presenting to buyers?

shit man that's like dang ole redneck neuschwanstein i tell ya huat

>>2929429
four fucking stories, maybe five if its got a basement.

most RE witches are shy of basements.

right across the street is a wedding venue, so maybe I could AirBnB this shit-house, after I add a couple more bathrooms. Does have legit outhouse.

BTW, WTF happens if you got a Septic specced for "3 persons" but you host 20 hard drinking and hard shitting guests for a weekend?

Does it just overflow untreated sewage, then go back to normal in a bit?

>>2929431
>maybe I could AirBnB this shit-house
If you could even get it insured for guests
I imagine very little is up to code in this beautiful monstrosity kek

>>2929431
If by overflow you mean shit starts coming up out of your drains, then yes. It overflows.

Notice there are no interior photos in the listings? Huge red flag. We're talking giving North Korea's 600 pound flag a run for its money huge.

>>2929463
WTF you must not know WWW.

Try this...

https://www.realtor.com/realestateandhomes-detail/18708-S-Highway-71_Winslow_AR_72959_M94946-89401?from=srp-list-card

entire insides is natural wood with some Indian theme.

does appear stuff was added post 1926, including a big workshop area.

Does Septic over-use really back up into house? Why doesn't it dump into leach field or near leach field? I hear they got some "dose" device that holds water back until certain point then releases a "flood" so that enough water flows to get to all of the leach field evenly, but can't find pics.

Wouldn't the smart and obvious thing be to have backup overflow outlet that drains into a gulley which in turn flows to a depression or French Drain, or cess-pool, maybe with plastic liner? The liner would turn it into an open air cess-pool.

>>2929458
does AirBnB have ANY requirements?, because IIRC they got shit like "glamping" tents and DIY literal tree houses to rent.

Does anyone even do an in person or even "send me pics to examine" for AirBnB?

IIRC to do Uber they want to meet and greet you AND your car, in person.

But my main question remains, What "issues" besides listed gets a USDA or similar Gumint Loan nixxed?

What level of "generally shabby" matters?

>>2929427 (OP)
>Will the feds back my shithole loan for free?
>Will most RE bitches balk because it means them earning their pay?
I don't know anon, should they?

>>2929466
Oh. My. God. The longer you look the worse it gets. There's like 5 different size floor boards in this picture alone. Plywood ceilings with wood covering the seams. They don't even line up in some places. Everything is put together with butt joints and they have developed gaps over the years. A few of the rooms are worse than this but I am unsure if they are in the 'shop' or not.

>>2929500
Is the ROOF holding this deck up?

>>2929501
Don't see anything holding this one up at all.

>>2929502
The black area looks like corrugated steel. When you want that old pump house look in your entryway.

>>2929503
Window unit. Classy. Something to distract you from the floor at least.

>>2929504
This is marked as the kitchen in the listing. It is the only photo of it. I don't see a single outlet on any of those counters. Does the extension cord come with the house? How about the snake? Where does the fridge go?

>>2929507
Is it an accent wall when two different kinds of wainscotting is used? Is this a walk in closet or a bedroom they can't legally call a bedroom because it doesn't have a real closet? I bet it was a nice porch before it was converted. The MDF floors really class the place up.

>>2929508
That's at least 2 dollars worth of beer bottles you can recycle. Or better yet, they might still be full. You can drink them all and then puke on the floor to make it look better.

>>2929509
When putting vinyl down on the plywood is too much work just paint it.

>>2929510
Its like the kind of house someone would build during a firefight in Fortnight.

>>2929511
Loving the stacked up lumber instead of using a beam. The gang plates are a nice touch too. They were like, yeah, its gonna look like shit but who cares? At least they hung the swing from the roof. That way, when the deck falls off the side of the house you can hang there while deciding to try and jump for the door or just throw yourself down to the debris blow and end it all.

>>2929513
Its the fucking redneck Winchester Mystery House.

>>2929514
Are they selling it for $229k or paying you that much if you live it in for a week and survive?

>>2929515
"The 3-story hand-built structure needs updates, including a new kitchen & foundation work under the...."

"hand-built" you say, because it looks like they used their feet.

>>2929518
If you ever wonder why building codes are a thing, remember this house.

>>2929519
So I guess this house wont qualify for Zero Down Gumint loan.

What do you think about this one? Not far from town and airport and seems lots of resort/vacation biz around the lakes.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/303-Cimmaron-St-Hot-Springs-AR-71913/76158015_zpid/

>>2929521
>What do you think about this one?
120k max

>>2929537
Are Zillow prices like those sky-high Kelley Blue Book prices that are based on MSRP?

>>2929519
>walks inside
>dies

>>2929519
How do they get away with erecting something like that with all of the building codes?

Is it just totally illegal?
If it is, how do they expect to sell if they won't pass an inspection which banks require to finance the buyer...

>>2929507
does the snek come with it?

>>2929507
>asbestos popcorn
yummers

>>2929515
“It's the Ramshankle, and you know dang well, it's made out of old vehicles that we couldn't sell!”

>>2929500
You can tell the builder had some ability. It just wasn't in symmetry or planning.

>>2929503
>>2929509
>>2929511
Fuck I actually kinda like it. I'd be all over a house like this if it were well-built and up to code. (And obviously in a place that made sense for me.) I have fucking weird taste though.

>>2929544
Probably neighborhood comps with sq footage

>>2929544
Zillow doesn't set prices, that's down to the seller. These days that usually means they're asking way more than it's worth because most sellers are boomers and they do the same "I know what I got" thing that they do with anything else. (So they look at the most expensive similar square foot/property size house to ever sell in their neighborhood and then think theirs is worth the same even though the other house was immaculately maintained, kept up to date, and a desirable style while theirs is falling apart and needs $100k+ in new HVAC/plumbing/appliances/etc.)

>>2931814
local RE Mag in Santa Cruz Mountains (big 1989 Quake) just outside tony Silicon Valley of Los Gatos, has about 1/2 the houses "Built with Permits" or "New second house on property built with Permits".

Meaning about 1/2 the then 1/2 million now full million dollar houses built without permits, but banks still cutting loans, etc.

Every few years Santa Cruz County offers a "Building Permit Amnesty" with few takers.

>>2929500
>>2929503
Please paint the walls and the ceiling. I don't need to see 15 dead trees at all times.
I think the first photo would look really decent with just the flooring, left wall of lap, and built-ins natural. Paint the ceiling and the sections of wall that are just finished douglas fir.

He just finishes the worst materials natty. OSB belongs underneath the floors or cladding.

>>2929515
Do you suppose they ever once maintained any of those decks? He was probably too busy building 2 more to bother. The ladder going to the very top on a shallow slope is pure death trap.

Speaking of, how tf did he kick that cantilever off the roof?

I've seen towering houses like this built into a hill that are incredible. This one screams hubris.

>>2929427 (OP)
>IMO either it looks pretty cool inside or the person with the camera knows WTF they are doing with colors.
This. They always make it look super nice in the pictures.