Thread 106537160

What if you could "comfortably wear your iphone HANDS FREE"? Apple got you covered!

Introducing the brand new CROSSBODY STRAP. For only $99 (plus tax) you can have the privilege of buying the brand new strap.

People will buy it and it will catch on.

>>106537160 (OP)
Actually it's only $59.99 USD.

https://www.apple.com/shop/product/MGGN4LL/A/crossbody-strap-sienna

i've seen females wearing these for like 5 years why are you all pretending you don't go outside

>>106537160 (OP)
Why do we get straps but not headphone jacks

>>106537160 (OP)
they unironically did this because of increased concerns over pickpocketing/snatching on social media where groups steal phones to ship over to china where they'll be dismantled for parts
only this time you're gonna get dragged by the neck when someone attempts to steal your phone lmao

>>106537241
>why are you all pretending you don't go outside
Do you know where you are?

>>106537305
how long until someone breaks their neck because of this?
> dear Tim Cuck
> I'm writing to you to thank you
> I broke my neck and got tetraplegic
> but at least my precious iPhone didn't get stolen

>>106537160 (OP)
You could make that by tapping holes in a phone case and choosing your own cord. Save yourself $90.

>>106537483
sorry, but your solution wasn't designed by Apple Engineers in the US (the most powerful country on the world), and doesn't contain magnets with stainless steel sliding mechanisms.

>>106537528
Not an Apple product, but those $90 could buy you another Labubu or Funko Pop

>>106537160 (OP)
women will love this

>>106537305
>pickpocketing
now pickpocketers will just have an extra step: remove the phone from the case.

They can probably do this in less than 1 second, and since the phone isn't in your pocket, you're even less likely to feel it

>>106537225
>only
i cant believe they are really selling a 50 cent chinese sweatshop strap for $60

>>106537255
females like strap ons but not headphones

>>106537160 (OP)
>>106537225
50-100 bucks for a "designer" cross strap chest pouch thing is not even that insane. You can get a non-designer one for 15$ but it wouldnt have SUPREME on it in white-on-red lettering

>>106537160 (OP)
this is a micro aggression to bipoc

>>106537940
>i cant believe they are really selling a 50 cent chinese sweatshop strap for $60
why are you people so surprised about the prices?

>>106537305
1. proofs?
a) "pickpockets" already carry knives/scissors to simply cut straps and have literally since medieval times, the og name for a pickpocket is a "cutpurse" as they would literally cut the purse from your body
i_ why do normies think it's to ship them to china for scrap and not just to resell on fb marketplace??

>>106537241
theyre popular with people of both sexes now actually

>>106538033
what? it literally makes it easier to steal

Itoddlers.

>>106538277
i look exactly like this

>>106538291
pinche gringo.

you mean the anti-nigger lash?

>>106538349
a lash is a strike with a whip or similar weapon/implement. you mean either a leash or a sash

>>106537160 (OP)
>Create indispensable luxury item containing entire life
>Import third worlders to steal product
>Create solution
How can a company be THIS based?

>>106538365
yeah sorry I didn't enable autocorrect and missed one letter, next time I'll make sure to enable it and join you tiktok zoomers in the quest for total language contempt

>>106537305
nearly all parts are serialized though

>>106538379
>Create solution
"Tim Cuck, we need to solve the pickpocketing issue."
Tim Cook:
> Ni***r Lasher Air - George Droid edition

Based????

>>106537160 (OP)
i'll take 10

>>106537160 (OP)
Do applefags really¿

>>106538277
hah!

>>106538576
>it's not satire
>it's fucking real
https://www.indiatimes.com/technology/gadgets/this-phone-case-has-a-spoon-attached-for-you-to-eat-watch-making-you-lazier-than-ever-before-360775.html

>>106538594
it's a little digital purse :3

>>106538621
Of course it's a joke product.
Also notice how most people in that video are Asian, they probably think it's funny role playing as westerners with their silly forks.

>>106538637
>ma bois love purses

>>106538594
That just makes it easier to steal, I could just run up from behind with a knife, grand the phone, cut the band and run

>>106538713
>I could just run up from behind with a knife, grand the phone, cut the band and run
what if the person is wearing the pro version, which contains titanium cables inside the strap?

>crossbody strap
>for a phone
Might as well just bring back the phone holster.

>>106538713
stealing iPhones or MacBooks doesn't make any sense, if someone steals my phone I can just disable it from home so nobody can use it anymore. GG WP

>>106538769
I still see these fucking EVERYWHERE. They're super popular among tradies, even the young ones.

>>106538789
what's the advantage over just putting it in your pocket?

>>106538594
>>106538637
>>106538713
>droidjeets are upset by the image of white men
as expected

>>106538769
pussy magnet

>>106538777
the parts you get from an iPhone are pretty valuable, specially the screen

Phones are too big.

>>106537483
and how do you make the user pay ?

>>106537160 (OP)
iPurse

>>106538822
switching to your side-phone is faster than reloading (the page)

>>106538822
pockets are often occluded by tool belts or harnesses and the holster itself is usually hard walled, padded, or both. it's also slightly more accessible. same reason you dont keep a gun in your pocket, you get a holster

steve jobs wouldve made it hook up to the top of the phone so the apple logo is always the right way up when carrying the phone

>>106539430
that doesnt make the screen face outward when slung though so you cant show the masses how popular you are and all your cool Liquid Glass Apps

>>106539065
I hope my wife's husband allow me to use that strap

>>106537160 (OP)
It was real? I thought it was just some elaborate prank.

>>106537160 (OP)
They sell these at donki for $10

>>106538777
They might not be able to flip it easily, but you're still one smartphone down.

>>106537255
you will buy a usb-c dac and you will be happy

>>106537255
They are not in the way of making the device 0.01mm thinner.

>>106538291
You need to 18 to post here anon.

>>106538277
iToT

>>106537305
While this thing will be sadly emulated by Android, it's still retarded as the thief could just point a knife or gun to the itoddler.

>>106538890
>>106538769
Real talk, how do you carry a phone, a set of headphones with a case, and a smart glasses without a backpack or a crossbody?

>>106538653
asians are the most phone addicted freaks i've ever seen though, they're all scrolling facebook and instagram way more than I see whites doing it. though africans and their obsession with being on a phone call 24 hours of the day have them utterly beat if we count that.

>>106538653
>>106541445
oh nevermind you were joking about forks and chopsticks. i thought this was some chinese 'taking a dig at the west' type of post.

>>106537160 (OP)
i thought this was a joke until i saw they had it lol what the fuck this is retarded!

I have a quite important and well paying job and many people use third party phone straps for their iphones.

I can see professional people buying this, and it's only 59 bucks, that's basically pocket change if you have a job.

>>106543347
I am rich
I am handsome
I need this

>>106543373
what's funny (sad) is that you think i'm trolling when what i said was 100% factual

>>106537160 (OP)
Nothing did it first.

>>106543421
I'm not trolling either, why would you think that?

>>106537160 (OP)
straps innovation!

why bother with this over a lanyard? i guess it's more ergonomic but still

>>106543347
Thank god this can be democratized for the masses.

>>106543446
because he's fragile and got triggered by the prospect of sarcasm. basically, a faggot.

>>106538890
>>106537160 (OP)
>Phones are too big.
^Fucking this, if I'm gonna humiliate myself wearing a fanny pack it's gonna be so I can conceal carry a double stack compact 9mm handgun more comfortably and that's it.

>>106537305
>they unironically did this because of increased concerns over pickpocketing/snatching
Okay, isn't it being out in the open just make it even easier to grab though? It's basically just a glorified purse minus the purse. At least with pockets there's friction. Assuming you can fit that thing in anything other than baggy cargo pants or a backpack.

>>106537160 (OP)
>invent pocket computer that can fit in your pocket and that you can easily hold with one hand
>keep making it bigger until it no longer fits in your pocket and you can't easily hold it with one hand
>offer some dorky ass accessory to "fix" the problem
STEVE JOBS IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE. ROLLING!!

>>106538777
They usually put the phone in flightmode. Either they steal the phone unlocked or do it from the lockscreen. You can at least turn off in the settings.

>>106543750
The way people talk about Jobs makes it sound as if he was some tech messiah. The posters usually imply they are the ones being able to interpret His divine will from the Afterlife, as opposed to Apple. Who hath fallen from Jobs Grace.
Of course all of this makes no sense. Jobs was a hack and is now dead.

is /g/ the ultimate sour grapes board?

>>106543941
Steve Jobs as the abstract concept of good design is more important than Steve Jobs, the actual person.

>>106537160 (OP)
my fucking sides

>>106543959
I once told my gf I wanted to piss on her
I didn't, I don't know why I said it
She was down for it, but I couldn't do it

>>106537160 (OP)
I'm sure Apple could sell retards literal dogshit and they'd eat it too. $1000kg

>>106537160 (OP)
This is actually really cool though. And the strap will be incredibly easy and fast to attach/remove

>>106537305
chink aftermarket already has these strap case for years now

how come ijustine hasnt spammed her videos here like before?

>>106537160 (OP)
This is great I think I'll wear mine on the Charlotte light rail

another /g/ thread by neckbeards for neckbeards. lanyards and phone straps have been trending for years now. they're primarily used by women who don't have real pockets in their clothes.

go outside instead of making yet another "applel bad!!!1" thread