Thread 106960773

lmao

All my Samsung and Google connected shit are still not working. I have to switch everything on and off manually. I don't wanna live like this =\

I don't get the joke

>>106960773 (OP)
Run your own servers. Don't rely on a single failure point. It will be safer and much cheaper. Running your own co-located server or VPS is not hard. AWS and the other cloud grifters just want you to believe that it's this lost art. Try Hetzner if you want a cheap and good VPS.

>>106960857
i think it's that some retard bought a bed that requires the internet to function

>>106960857
Americans need wholesome cloud-based IoT mattress technology with telemetry straight to advertisers.

>>106960871
>>106960874
why do you need internet for your mattress?

>>106960902
Because it's a subscription service

>>106960902
>me need the new thing! yaaay new thing!
it's not like /g/ is any different except it's with poorfag operating systems instead of expensive spyware but whatever

why is the bed connected to the cloud?

>>106960902
incline button -> router -> cloud(offline) -> botnet log -> cloud(offline) -> router -> bed motor
how else would you make it work?

>>106960931
So you can sleep comfortably knowing the vibarations induced by your farts is safely stored in a data center somewhere and used to train AI

>>106960989
do they know when you're having sex?

>>106960773 (OP)
>We are currently outage-proofing your Pod experience
YOU VILL LIVE
IN ZE POD

>>106960773 (OP)
>https://xcancel.com/m_franceschetti/status/1980419272766583262
It's real, there are actual IoT mattresses out there. Fuck this bloody benchod mother bitch basterd fucking planet

>>106961004
I wasn't joking when I said it's a subscription service.

>>106961002
Silicon Valley faggots aren't Great Reset, at least the small ones aren't. The big ones might or might not be, and in a Great Reset situation you wouldn't even afford to pay a subscription fee for a mattress that costs thousands anyway since you would have nothing.
IoT is mostly just a symptom of American inferiority in consooming. They just want to keep paying for more and more things because they see unused money on their bank accounts.

>>106960902
theres that poor people talk again

>>106960773 (OP)
what do beds have to do with AWS are they retarded?

>>106960902
so grok can rock me to sleep

>>106960902
never wanted to sleep on a Cloud?

>>106960773 (OP)
>tfw someone hacks into your bed and breaks you in half by folding it up while you're sleeping

>>106960773 (OP)
why would you even want to have a bed connected to the internet?

>>106961903
yea stay in your dumbbed, luddite

>>106960947
remote control that uses IR or Bluetooth if you absolutely need an app for that?
I get that some people with disabilities need special equipment, but who has to be connected to the intenet?

>>106961903
This is actually how the bed tells you that your subscription ended.
It closes to prevent its users from being able to lie on it.

>>106960773 (OP)
I wasn't aware of anything until I read about it here. offline chads can't stop winning.

>>106961946
but how would you recline it from your phone when you're not home?

>>106961923
Why wouldn't you want everything you own connected to the internet? You want the ads to be personalized correctly, right? You want 24/7 access to control every device you own right?

>>106960994
They know that you're not

>>106960902
Why DON'T you need internet for your mattress? Gosh I fucking hate poor people so much they always bitch about things that literally improve their everyday life.

>>106960871
>>106960902
nah i have no idea what the bed is, but the dude says his bed is on an incline, and so im assuming that it wakes you up by forcing you to fall out of bed, which is kinda awesome.
ofc no internet is needed here, but the bed tech that the company in op probably offers sounds neat

>>106961962
Can't tell if fake.

>>106960902
so bezos can count the thrusts
he's pretty happy any time someone manages less than five, which is his personal record

>>106960773 (OP)
>online-only cloud-connected bed which doesn't fail gracefully when offline

>>106961065
It'll be on a subscription plan. What part of "own nothing" do you not understand?

>he doesn't sleep on a smartbed
even more pussy-drying than reaching for a HDMI cable desu

>>106960773 (OP)
please be fake

>>106960773 (OP)
I remember being in grade school when Megaman Battle Network showed me the interconnected networked future and I thought it was so cool. We got the really fucking gay and lame version of that future.

>>106960773 (OP)
this is a very good anti-advertisement

>e-can opener refuses to unlock because internet is down
>e-knife refuses to extend
>smash e-can against an e-rock outside of my e-condo
>AI powered police show up due to security alert triggered by e-rock, which of course still works despite everything else being down
>internet comes back right then and my e-knife extends
>get shot 20 times in the chest

I bet there are """people""" ITT who can't even listen to music if the Internet is down.

>>106966148
Oh you know it

>>106960864
>Hetzner
I'd love to use this company, but I'm in the US and they don't offer anything here yet. I'm stuck with Vultr... God damn man I just looked up there stuff again and what I'm getting is trash compared to what Hetzner offers for basically the same price.

>>106960857
Internet of things sucks

>>106960773 (OP)
>no one has drawn this inclined bed meme
this place is the shadow of its former self

>>106966536
>nu4chan
>making oc