Thread 107029816

>I don't like having shit left over on my ass when I finish using the toilet
>OH REALLY YOU MUST BE GAY THEN
why are you like this?

>>107029816 (OP)
it's only gay if there's penetration

>>107029816 (OP)
i don't understand it either tbist of desus.
i got asshair. toilet paper - even the nice stuff - just fucking shreds into a million pieces.
im a leaffag and even when its -30C and we're doing what we can to prevent the pipes from freezing over im still more than willing to use the crappy 40 dollar bidet we bought and risk asshole frostbite because its better than waddling around with mudbutt and shedding bits of paper.

i would get one but I dont know how to install this in my ghetto apartment, they did a makeshift job with the bathroom plumbing and I don't want to break anything

>>107029816 (OP)
baby/adult wipes exist my guy

>>107029816 (OP)
white american male fragility

they spent their whole lives being brainwashed that they aren't the most sheltered, comfortable, safe, controlled shabbos goycattle

because they don't have any real agency in their lives they resort to calling things they don't have 'gay' or 'liberal'

>>107029838
>just use the microfibre synthetic plastic-ass fabric and shove it right up there against the part of your body with the most blood vessels its all good bro just trust me bro

>>107029828
maybe try getting a portable bidet. it's nowhere near as good but it's better than nothing
t. shitskin who moved to canada 1.5 years ago and only just got around to getting one now due to similar concerns

>>107029816 (OP)
these are great if you have constipation it blast the poo right out of your ass

>>107029969
no?

>>107029816 (OP)
Real men have poopy doodoo butts stinking up their drawers like toddlers.

>%90+ people want to talk to you on the same level as an adult while they walk around all day with shit smeared between their butt cheeks

>>107029998
yes.

>>107029816 (OP)
The thing is, with the right diet, there is no left over.

>>107029846
>just use lead, fluoride, PFAS, pesticide/herbicide laden tap water and spray it right up there inside the part of your body with the most blood vessels its all good bro just trust me bro

>>107030238
at least those things can be tested for endocrine-ass mini-nuts.

>>107029816 (OP)
>I don't like having shit left over on my ass when I finish using the toilet

Have you tried wiping?

>>107029816 (OP)
>I can't wipe my ass
>>107029826
>i got asshair. toilet paper - even the nice stuff - just fucking shreds into a million pieces.
????????

just use the sink

>>107029838
cant flush those, extremely expensive, bad for the environment

>>107029838
buy $20 bidet once, only have to pat dry with one square of tp now vs IDEK how much baby wipes cost but I doubt they're cheap or flushable

I literally never said that and I don't even know where you came up with that text. Why do you always do this to me man.

>>107030295
>Have you tried smearing the shit against your ass so it sticks even more?
No I haven't! What a brilliant idea!

>>107030376
>Have you tried smearing the shit against your ass so it sticks even more?

But it doesn't do that,,unless you took the whole shit and smeared it up your ass

>No I haven't!

Jeet-kun....

>>107030724
>asking to see someone's ass
bidet users are faggots conformed

>>107030831
you're in the wrong board, go to >>>/lgbt/ fag

>>107029826
I use baby wipes
Water smears the microscopic shit, if u make a mistake and smear your finger with shit youll realize that water isn't enough

If you got dirty hands, how would you rather clean them?
>A: Only holding them under running water
>B: Only using dry paper towels

Option B is clearly better, you can physically rub the dirt off and get a cleaner result.
But in reality we do neither. We use soap and rub it in our hands and then wash it off with water. The rubbing part is most important, though.

My point is, bidets are not better or cleaner than toilet paper. Now, if you are really anal about having a percectly clean butt at all times, wet wipes are more effective. There are even flushable ones. But you shouldn't use more than one per flush because they still don't disintegrate easily enough.

>>107029816 (OP)
Why would you care what your ass look like unless you're expecting someone to see it?
Only fags care about this
I just wipe with paper and if there's little bit of shit left I don't care because I'm not a fag, no one will see it

>>107030937
wiping with the toilet paper is whats getting the shit mushed into your skin/ass in the first place, which you claim makes it hard to deal with (that running water isnt enough)
but if you just shit, and then use the running water its fine because your shit hasnt been mushed into your ass from wiping

>>107030977
>no one will see it
trust me people can smell it without seeing it. We are simply being polite by not mocking you for it in public.

>>107031026
that only happens if you're a retard who can't wipe properly. If you do a good job there should be no marks on your toilet paper and underwear.
>>107031066
there should be no smell after you wipe, sounds like someone is not doing a good job.

>>107031026
>shit mushed into your skin/ass in the first place
I don't know what your skin looks like, how many skin folds and creases your fat buttt has. But on normal skin that doesn't happen. You cannot massage dirt "into" the skin. It'll all be on the surface and it makes little difference how it got there.
Also the consistency of your feces depend on your diet. A good diet doesn't get you a soft, smeary stool.

>>107030316
only the cheap shitty ones. look on the packaging and buy the ones that are flushable and plumber certified

>>107031066
I wear fragrance

>>107031155
that's what we've been telling you, you're wearing the fragrance of shit

>>107031170
skill issue, l2wipe

>>107029816 (OP)
firing a jet of water up your ass hole is gay, yeah

I guarantee every bidet thread on 4chan is just shitty viral marketing

it works too because anal-retentive retards crawl out to defend their gay ass cleaning tool like theyre fucking applefags or nvidia fanboys

>>107030295
>Have you tried wiping?
If you had shit on your arm, would you be comfortable just wiping at it with a dry piece of paper until you could not see anything on the paper any more?
If your answer is yes, you are a disgusting piece of filth.

>>107031155
Are you 15 or do you really not realize that you cannot just put another scent over rancid arse odour?

>>107031554
And would you be comfortable by just running some water over it? I know which method I prefer.
Toilet paper is porous and absorbs a good amount of dirt.

>>107031560
Unless someone has its nose right next to my ass, no one will smell it

>>107031554
If you had shit on your arm, would you be comfortable just drizzling water over it until the chunks were gone?
Unless you use soap, a bidet is no cleaner than TP. And most people using a bidet don't bother with soap.

>>107031226
Not sure about bidets like the one in OP's pic, but my grandma had a proper standalone bidet next to the toilet and it was just a gentle stream of water next to your ass that you could use to wash it out. It didn't shoot up into your asshole, not sure if OP's one does that though.

>>107031226
it's a bidet, not a douche

>>107029816 (OP)
Can someone answer why the fuck these things have a 500%+ markup compared to the exact same feature set in Japan? They change the model names and have a bunch of marketing terms attached but the feature sets are the exact same, but in Japan it costs €350 while here it's €1500.

>>107032226
selling products in places where they're popular tend to do that, lookup economy of scale

>>107029816 (OP)
>wiping off my own poop with wet wipes and toilet paper
as intended, very good

>having a toilet that pees in ur but
gay as fuck man

>>107030886
You use toilet paper after the water dumbass
holy fuck

>>107029816 (OP)
this looks like some sort of a living assistance device for a person with severe movement disability or for a senile boomer. just wash your ass over a bathtub, like a normal person.

>>107029846
Its literally a paper product. They're plant fibers.

>>107032310
No? Most wetwipes are synthetic.

>>107032313
Cotonelle, Scotts, Dude Wipes. They're paper, you fucking retarded nonwhite.

>>107029816 (OP)
>i like shooting water at my ass, but I'm not gay bro I swear
ok, I believe you.

>>107031650
Are you fucking retarded? You don’t even know how to use a bidet?
Fucking uncultured imbecile.

>>107031633
Yeah, they can. That’s why they avoid you.

>>107029838
>use 100 of them and waste 30 minutes
>ass still not clean
WOW

>>107032430
you guys are really crazy

You guys having difficulty cleaning your asses must be morbidly obese and/or American.

>>107032470
What is so hard to understand in wanting an enema so my wife's bull can fuck me as prep when he wants, bigots I swear...

>>107029838
> Throw them into toilet
> Clogs
> Throw them into trash can
> Shit can next to toilet like some 3rd world subhuman
Bidets are the civilized tool.

>>107032297
except the disabled and senile cant walk, sit and have enough hand coordination to clean their shit with anything. wet wipes or a bucket with a non-flushable fabric and liquid soap handled by some else are their best choice.

>>107031138
Big Pampers has no reason to be honest to you about how flushable they actually are. no wipes are flushable, especially not for fucking septic

>>107032579
how about not using septic like it's 1700?

Yet another bidet bait thread that will get 100s of replies.
/g/ is fucking dead.

>>107031585
>>107031650
you guys don't use soap and clean with your hand while the water flows? you whites are nasty fucks, at least the pressure of the water cleans better than spreading shit like nutella.

t. moroccan living in sydney

Japanese bidets are the best invention the nips ever came up with and it's embarrassing it didn't come out of a white country.

>>107032616
>clean with your hand
>calls other nasty
>racism too
thank you for existing.

>>107032636
yeah like you use your hands when you shower you retard, unless you just let flow water and you get out? I can't believe I have to explain the concept of soap to you

>>107032514
Wipes don't clog toilets, they're only a problem for waste management and processing.

>>107032653
you shower with your bare hands? nothing to scrub with? and you others nasty?

>>107032661
I have a stone scrubber to remove dead skin and an african net plus I use my hands for dick and balls since I don't wanna strip them, don't even think that you can return the situation with your smelly ass

>>107032661
medical gloves solve this

>>107032620
Depends if you count Italy as white. Italy has had bidets in most bathrooms since well before Nips came up with integrated bidets. There just wasn't much of a drive to integrate them into the toilet itself because Italian houses are much bigger than Nip ones and it's a harder sell when you already have a normal bidet right next to your normal toilet.

>>107030295
Aren'r you supposed to use the bidet or shower after wiping?

>>107030316
what is a trashcan

>>107032718
>let's take a shower every time you shit
where'd this fucking meme come from?

>>107031633
you're wrong, I can often smell unwashed ass.
And I'm not gonna lie my first gf after we had sex couple of times told me I should clean myself up better. I still cringe at it today, decade and a half later.

>>107032732
a shower? do you really compare showering with using a fucking bidet? you're nasty as fuck

use space station tech and suck it out.

>>107032782
>or shower after wiping?
learn to read

>>107032783
>bro just casually nullify Earth's gravity while taking shit
based

>>107032812
Gravity doesn't matter when vacuum is high enough

I just installed a $350 bidet seat from Costco this last weekend. Thoughts:

- It's annoying to install in north american bathrooms since we have no outlets near toilets 90% of the time. Have to either run a long ass cable or cut into the drywall to make a new electrical box.
- It's way bigger than I expected, it raises you off the ground a good 1-2 inches higher than a normal seat
- The ass washing is pretty good, but I still find I need to wipe once or twice to get any residuals off. I was hoping it would just magically be fully clean but oh well
- I can't imagine cleaning this is going to be fun, it had a million warnings about how you clean it
- The heated seat feature is pretty nice as it starts getting cold here
- My girlfriend says it's pretty good for washing her vagina

Overall 7/10, pretty happy with it.

>>107032878
fucoff

>>107029816 (OP)
just put a wad of bathroom tissue in the crack then pull up the undies and just walk around. auto-wipe tech.

>>107032859
>My girlfriend says it's pretty good for washing her vagina
don't
the water forces bacteria back up her snatch alongside shit bacteria from her taint
she will get an UTI or worse
>The ass washing is pretty good, but I still find I need to wipe once or twice to get any residuals off. I was hoping it would just magically be fully clean but oh well
You use the bidet, then wipe to confirm everything is clean
if brown, bidet again until clean
it's like cleaning shit off your arm, if you couldn't see your arm

>>107029824
water getting sprayed up your asshole is objectively penetration

>>107029816 (OP)
Questions: why are the controls like right next to the seat? Wouldn't they eventually get covered in piss? Also wouldn't that nozzle end up caked in shit and would need constant cleaning?

>>107032919
what kind of weak pelvic floor flabby sphincter do you fatasses have up there
does it drizzles out a chili, corn syrup smelling shit running along your cheeks?
water can't enter your ass if you don't aim it at the middle and open up

>>107032952
You should clean your toilet every week, bucko
And start pissing in the sink
its 2025, we're sink pissers now

>>107031138
Bro believes everything he reads on product packaging. Wipes may be "flushable" as in you can physically flush them but absolutely fucking none of them disolve like toilet paper.

>>107032976
>absolutely fucking none of them
very bold claim, i can literally see mine dissolve in the fucking bowl

>>107032976
Its not 20 years ago. Dissolving or not doesn't matter unless you have a sceptic tank or a drainage field like a fucking peasant. Water treatment plants have industrial shredders that rip them into fine particulate regardless of how degraded they may or may not be.

>>107032976
>Bro believes everything he reads on product packaging.
Over the rants of some schizo with an axe to grind on 4chan, yes.

>>107032966
>its 2025, we're sink pissers now
I've been sinkpissing for two years and I'm not going back to be honest.
>no splashing unless you actually try to
>can wash your hands and dick right after, don't even have to take a single step
>naturally filters foids, manlets, and dicklets

>>107033127
Based knower

>>107029838
>cold
>have to restock regularly
>have to buy the expensive ones for a slight change to avoid wrecking your plumbing
>have to wipe manually
>no heated seat or air dryer
Those are worse than a bidet in every way. Just get a washlet, cleaning up after dropping a poop nuke has already been perfected and you are still living in the stone age.

>>107032409
it's a slow running stream of water that goes over your shitter. if you did that on your arm it would be less effective than wiping it with paper

>>107031650
>>107033249
you haven't used a bidet, or the one on wherever you used it was broken
nonetheless, you bidet first then wipe with TP

>>107033176
You think your 3" PVC pipes can handle a log of shit but a wet piece of paper will magically ruin it somehow?

>>107032859
Is it cold water?

>>107029816 (OP)
I got one during the great toilet paper shortage of 2020. Before that I had used those little hoses while visiting a Middle Eastern country where people otherwise wipe with their left hand.

>>107032919
Constantly self-rimming with your own sweaty uncleaned shit ring as you walk is way gayer.

>>107033482
It's got a water heater built in, so it's warm. Which is actually pretty nice.

>>107029816 (OP)
The amount of retards throwing around "gay" in this thread about basic hygiene is about to troll me off the board. You're all genuinely retarded

>>107033583
I bet you suck your fingers after you eat, fag

>yet another water dildo thread for fags
>the position of the water dildo sprayer is directly in the path of incoming shit
Amazing technology.

>>107032919
so is toilet paper.

>>107033583
girls orgasm all the time by letting the bath tap run onto their clit but for some reason a man firing a jet of water in his ass isn't gay?
cope

>>107033624
it only thrusts out when you press the "shove it in" button you bigot

>>107033583
These "people" are circumcised and own a truck, maybe even a lifted truck.

I'm a plumber and let me tell you, baby wipes or ass wipes that day they are flushable are a fucking lie. Even if it's good business for me I wish people would realize they're just marketing and will still clog your pipes.

>>107033846
You're a laughable lying retard who knows nothing about plumbing.

>I don't use a bidet
>I don't use toilet paper
>to clean myself, I take a modified electric toothbrush, with a tongue cleaner attachment and brush my asshole, inside and out, at a frequency of 800 hz
>it's difficult to reach back there, so I usually get a young boy to wash for me
>there's nothing weird at all about this.
>it's the ONLY WAY to be clean!

>>107030316
They flush down my toilet and never caused a clog in my house

What happens further down the pipes is

not

my

problem

>>107033846
>I'm a liar who scams people and let me tell you...

>>107032878
/thread.
Dry paper for the guests, wipes for me which I also leave out if others want them. It's not 2003 anymore guys, it feels people itt are seriously reaching for critcisms of wipes or perhaps aren't from the UK, because here wipes are:
>ALL plumber certified
The ones who bitch about clogged pipes are the same people who use half a roll per visit
>Affordable
I worked it out and they are at worst 1.25x more than tp, which to me is worth being fully clean. Here you can get 100 decent ones for about 80p.
>Natural
Manufacturers were sketchy and retarded for a long time, repackaging those elastic baby wipes and marketing and selling them as toilet wipes, treatment plants complained, tradesman complained. Now they are only paper, water, antibac and perfume, you can actually break them apart in your hands with a little force, and that's before contact with the water.
It doesn't matter how big online shopping and e-commerce gets. Britain will never, ever adopt the bidet. We've gone through too much hardship that simply finding a bog that has even quarter a roll of industrial 2 ply in the dispenser is a godsend to us, we're too hung up on the idea of pampering ourselves with warm water and heated seats, just what will get the job done.

>>107032794
have you tried learning to read first?
>bidet or shower
Does this mean "shower 100% of the time"?
Fucking retard doesn't know what "or" means

>>107034026
it's what is implied for the majority of people who don't have a shit splasher installed yeah

>people making fun of bidets while recommending wet wipes
you're so close anons

>>107034133
so close to getting fucked in the ass

>>107030155
>>107032290
This. I sometimes whipe and there's nothing there. After wiping I wash with higher pressure in the shower. Whenever I had access to a bidet, the pressure was too low. Sometimes I use soap as well if I am not going to shower fully in the next few hours.

>>107032725
>just throw your literal stinking shit in a garbage can
>leave it there for a week until garbage pickup

>>107034161
spraying water to clean your ass is like getting fucked in the ass? didn't know that, thanks gaybro

>>107034245
>After wiping I wash with higher pressure in the shower
meme, you do not do this

>>107034161
do you feel penetrated when the wind blows up your bum too, faggot?

It's true, 2 weeks ago I accidentally sprayed a bit of water onto my anus in the shower and next thing I knew, I was laying on the bathroom floor of a gay nightclub after 25 buff gay men ran a train on me.

Don't make that mistake, bros.

>>107034266
I actu7ally sit on the edge of the bath tub and use the shower setting for the thin jet. I also have this thing where I like really hot water on my balls, but that's not for a board about technology and related topics.

>>107034279
why would wind blow up my ass? I don't wear skirts and no underwear outside

>>107033249
Holy shit dude, you’re genuinely stupid.
Why are you even commenting here?

>>107033729
>masturbation makes you gay
Are you one of these closet homosexuals who overcompensate by lashing out?

>>107034699
>anal masturbation as a guy makes you gay
fixed that for you

>>107034725
>something you’re born with can also be done by a sexual act
Yeah, no. Grow up, IQlet

>>107034737
>you need to grow up if you don't want to be fucked in the ass
at last I truly see

>>107033729
i for one am not sexually stimulated by washing my ass. it sounds like you might be projecting

>>107029816 (OP)
My brother in law flat out refused to install the one I gifted him and my sister a few years ago even though she said she really would like to use it
$250 for a pretty nice one and it's just sitting in a box in their basement
Whenever he was asked about it he said he didn't know how to install it, but he does handywork around the house all the time
I guarantee he doesn't want anyone to think he uses one because he thinks they'd think he's gay

>>107034495
>I don't wear skirts
well i'm convinced

>>107034958
is washing the shit off your ass gay?

>>107034958
Literally took me 5 min to install, your BIL sounds like a homo

>>107034251
You can't wait til pickup to shit? Do you have diariaa? Probably all that shit aerosol you are creating and ingesting

>>107034699
do you usually masturbate by stimulating your asshole? it sounds like you're outing yourself to me.

>>107035122
To the kind of person who drives pic related, yes. So is your girlfriend riding you, or eating soup in public, and so on.○

>>107034872
cleaning your ass =/= directly firing a jet of water into it

>>107029816 (OP)
Yup, I use your niece, her tiny ToT tongue cleans my ass nicely. If your girl doesn't clean your ass for you, you are a faggot.

Even if the jet of water was somehow fired directly at your prostate, there's no man involved so I'm not sure how it would be gay. Sexually deviant maybe, but not gay.

>>107035455
Even if that were the case – why does that bother you so much? Why are you fucks so damn afraid of how other people get off?
The only reason is that, deep down, you’re jealous as fuck of homos. Literally nothing else makes sense.

>>107035457
repressed homosexuals?
>>107035469
bidets don't go into your ass, anon, they wash the outside of it

>>107035513
>you’re jealous as fuck of homos
why do homos always assume jealousy when a straight man exhibits disgust at their behaviour (the normal, default reaction to witnessing homosexual acts)?
I'm totally OK with you doing what your want with your body, but I won't be gaslit into thinking it's normal

>>107035534
then it's not clean. with bidets you can either be a homo or cope and say 'the water doesn't actually go in your ass' and basically admit you have a dirty wet ass. just WIPE YOUR ASS morons

>>107035590
you don't get it, you wet with the water hose then you wipe then you shower, you swine

>>107034958
Imagine being such a freak you go up to your sister's husband and gift him a water dildo.

>>107035650
imagine being so gay you look at a hose used to wash yourself and see a dildo
or maybe your girlfriend dumped you for a showerhead

You know you guys don't have to larp as jeets, right? There are plenty of them already. Why increase their quantity of garbage by merely pretending to be one for the lulz?

shitting rn r8

>>107036159
proof of faggotry right here

>>107036159
What model?

>>107036204
Nihon Anoos Blasteru Nine-a Thousand-eru

>>107029824
I shove a finger up there to wash all the sticky shit away but I'm still straight

>>107032290
yeah, you still need to use toilet paper but you end up using less in the long run. 3 folds of a good toilet paper after a rinse is usually fine. some crazy people also just use towels but that would be really hard to explain to guests.

wet wipes fuck up the pipes

a thin stream of water isn't enough to clean your asshole

dry toilet paper just smears the shit around your asshole

the solution is to wet the toilet paper and then use it to wipe your ass. use dry toilet paper afterwards. i don't understand how i'm the only person that does this.

>>107036228
>wet wipes fuck up the pipes
No they don't, you retard. Why do you blindly repeat this? A moistened cloth does nothing harmful to PVC pipe. Its only an issue for outdated water treatment plants or people with septic tanks.

I want you to articulate exactly what you think these dinky little cloths are doing to your hard plastic plumbing.

>>107036228
bidet + single wipe with TP is better than wetting toilet paper and wiping your ass with it

>>107036248
25% of american households have a septic tank, and it’s no secret that American infrastructure is largely outdated. let’s just ignore that, though. there’s literally a person claiming to be a plumber in this thread saying that wet wipes mess up the pipes, and he’s met with people like you blindly repeating that wet wipes are flushable. personally, I’ve met several plumbers who’ve told me the same thing, and I’m sure they weren’t trying to get my business. i think wet wipes congeal with fat, oil, and grease and don’t break down, so they end up clogging the pipes. the burden is on you to disprove that.

>>107036304
>waaaah wwaaah america
Septic tanks get pumped out. If people fail to have their tank cleared out every decade its their own fault, not the fault of what they happen to be flushing. PVC lines are not damaged by poop covered wet paper.
Your made up on the spot lies are meaningless, retard.

>>107029816 (OP)
Spraying water on your shitty asshole is a small step above using dry paper to wipe it off, but it's still disgusting. If you somehow got shit on your hand, would you be okay with simply rinsing it off with a garden hose and going about your day? I'd hope not. Shit and take a shower.

>>107036346
>Shit and take a shower
with all those public showers next to the stalls everywhere yeah good idea

>>107036346
fuck off with this meme >>107034266

>>107036359
>taking a shit in a public bathroom
I hope you don't really do this

>>107036369
in civilized countries they have washlet seats on all the toilets so its fine

>>107033819
>owning a truck
Absolute barbarians. They probably have toolboxes and fix things themselves. Disgusting.

>>107036359
>>107036360
You will never actually be clean until you wash your anus with both soap and water.

>>107036159
huh, mine has a soft spray option that yours doesn't have. useful when you've got hemorrhoids.

>>107029816 (OP)
eat better you fat fuck

>>107036159
that is absolutely disgusting and gay, what the fuck
do people really have this. there are literally pictures of assholes being penetrated

>>107036618
t. amerimutt
this is normal in Europe and the rest of the developed world

>>107036673
>this is normal in Europe
stop lying

>>107036385
kek knew it, truck owner.

>>107029816 (OP)
it's not gay as long as you don't look at yourself in a mirror while doing it, also avoid touching the balls as it would make it extra gay

>>107036673
I'm UK/South America and nobody does this faggotry. there was one in the university toilet and apparently it was for all the queer asian students

>>107029816 (OP)
Overengineered solution, all you need is a bidet shower.

>>107036469
>soft spray
You mean turning the pressure down?

>>107036745
no, it's a wider, less concentrated one. the gun even has a hole for it.

>>107036740
>I'm UK/South America
The post says developed world

>>107029816 (OP)
>sprays faecal particles everywhere
>doesn't disinfect

Poopy ass retards ITT be like
>saar I cannot flush this paper sarr
>it is too sturdy sarrrrrrr
>I must put in trash bin sarrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

>>107032310
>>107032320
Look up how "paper" is made sometimes.

>>107037215
Look up "being a dead wrong fucking idiot who made a worthless post" you nonwhite

>>107029824
a little bit of penetration is necessary to clean everything

I used a bidet once and it gave me a bit of a chub

>>107029824
I turn it up so high that I shart clear water, if it's gay to be really clean then I don't want to be straight.

>>107037584
nothing better than starting the day with a coffee and empty bowels

massaging your anus with toilet paper is a lot gayer if you really think about it

>>107032620
electronic bidet seats were invented in new york by a jewish man

where can i demo a bidet? i def need one but i need to know if it hurts my stretched coinslot asshole first

>>107039438
fly to japan

The secret is to not wipe. It sucks at first and kind of smelly. But once you get used to it it's fine.
All natural. Name one animal that wipes their ass in the animal kingdom?
After months I shed turds with no more poop smears.

I want one but I'm too lazy to install it.

>>107036228
Get one with decent water pressure. I've used them before, normally I have to wipe like 10 times with a bidet its twice and I'm done. If you have a hairy ass you will understand.

>>107039492
That's because animals eat natural shit not cheetoes and other highly processed food that gives us weird streaky shits

>>107039492
>Name one animal that wipes their ass in the animal kingdom?
Anon, they walk around with dirty assholes all the time. If you've ever worked on a horse ranch you'll be made all too aware of this.

>>107039644
A horse anus is clean enough to eat off of

>>107039703
they literally walk around with crusted shit on their assholes, it's disgusting

>>107032919
kys retard

>>107034469
are you aware you are moat likely nuking your sperm count with the ball scalding?

>>107036159
I used to have that exact model. Worked great until hard water blocked it up and pressure dropped to 0 after about a year. Replaced it with a $40 model thats just cold water and adjustable pressure and honestly dont miss it as much as I expected

>>107035576
1,000s of species (mammals and others) engage in homosexual behaviour.
It is, in fact, normal behaviour for some of the species by definition.
Your entire worldview is just shit. Encoded purely by fear and disgust – something that is universal for one particular group: People with a low IQ.

>>107029816 (OP)
I just use diapers and my gf wipes my butt

>>107044877
>thousands of species have birth deformities
>thousands of species develop aberrant behavior under certain conditions
>therefore buggery is natural and intellectually elevated behavior
>I'm very smart because I'm not disgusted by men inserting their genitals into each other's poop chutes and churning doodoo butter

If you're going to equate yourself to an animal to justify engaging in such behaviors, well...lmao

>>107045177
You know what's nuts is that when I was in India, every house had bidets. The class differences there are staggering, I know the public restrooms are supposedly holes in the ground and street shitting runs rampant in places but we didn't go to those sort of places. Bidets were standard.

>>107029839
Can't hear you over my land, wealth and freedom, sorry kiddo.

>>107045177
I'll reiterate, since it was deleted for muh raycism:
Thank god i live in a country where bidets are required by law, you all are about the same level as street shitter Indians, fucking revolting.
t. Italian

And also fuck you, street shitter janny, remember to tongue your sacred cow anus.

>>107045102
>If you're going to equate yourself to an animal to justify engaging in such behaviors, well...lmao
Humans are literally animals. We’re Homo Sapiens. Primates, specifically Great Apes.

My god dude, you are mentally unequipped for this entire discussion. Kindly fuck off, you’re stupid.

>>107039438
if you can spare $30, any unpowered bidet attachment off amazon works great

>>107046689
>bidets are required by law
I can only imagine the amount of whinging from grifters if they did something similar in America

>>107049925
you have to understand that western european style bidets are practically sinks for your ass, comes with soap and towels and everything.

>>107029816 (OP)
OP is an American. Only Americans would be this way.
Maybe East Slavs too I guess.

>>107049932
Yeah, Americans think men washing their face is gay too. I've met people like that. They will defend their dead skin cells and eyelash mites with a teeth gnashing rage

>>107029838
You're right, ignore the butthurt turd world jeets with their subpar, if even existent, sewer systems. There are several good non synthetic brands like cottonelle.

how tf is this thread still alive? just get a sprayer for $20, install it in like 2 minutes, save loads on TP and have a clean ass

>>107050258
>how tf is this thread still alive
People have very strong opinions about their crusty mud butts

>>107050411
this is like a way worse version of that trend 15 years ago when /fa/ went 'no poo' and stopped using shampoo of washing their hair in general

>>107044877
>1,000s of species (mammals and others) engage in homosexual behaviour.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Appeal_to_nature

>>107032604
>>107032604
>>107032604

I have 2 of these in my house and they're great desu

>>107051955
not an issue for defining what is or isn't normal or _natural_.

>>107029838
This is even gayer than getting your arse blasted with water, which I am right now. Don't flush this stuff unless someone who works on sewer systems says it's ok, regardless of what it says on the label.

>>107052117
you're suggesting people shouldn't be disgusted by it because it's natural. many natural things are disgusting

>>107052308
It's only disugusting as a social concept. It's not inherently disgusting (such as bitter or fowl food), it's learned.

>>107052417
>skips India
all my keks

>bath once a day
>shit once a day
Is this that difficult?

>>107052417
venezuelan guy i know says shit aint true for his country lol

>>107052512
It really is for 3rd worlders.
I mean most even circumcize their infants so their dicks don't get infected and fall off.

>>107034245
>>107034266
Different anon here, I actually pressure shower after every turd as well.

How many others also do this retarded thing?

>>107029816 (OP)
Even most of the 1st world are savages.

>>107032310
>it's literally paper
>BUT NEVER FLUSH IT OKAY????
inb4 the "flushable" kind; they have the same problems TP has.

>>107052417
This is just a completely fake map.

>>107036813
>>doesn't disinfect
What's there to "disinfect"? Do you mean "clean"? You're supposed to clean yourself every day in something called a "shower".
>>sprays faecal particles everywhere
It spreads it nowhere but where it would be anyway if you only used TP and put your underwear back on, except with a bidet you have like 99% less shit on your ass.

Also after you use a bidet you dab dry with TP, so the vast majority of microscopic remains in the water are taken by the TP.

>>107052417
>count squat toilets with shower heads as "bidets"
>WAOW SE Asia is so hygienic
They use them to spray off the floor when they miss the hole, also the handles are covered in shit and you can't clean it because there's no water source other than the shower head.

>>107029816 (OP)
>why are you like this?
bidets are best and it's non negotiable

>>107029838
>baby/adult wipes exist my guy
a plumber typed this

>>107030155
>with the right diet, there is no left over
enjoy your life anon it sounds like your diet is no fun

>>107030818
>bidet users are faggots conformed
this guys anus is caked in shit and he's trying to insult somone on the internet

>>107029838
Water is cheaper and more effective

>>107032313
not in Europe lmao

>>107030886
this, I don't want microscopic shit particles all over my balls either

>>107029816 (OP)
If you aren't scrubbing your ass with soap and water and then wiping your a third world type of person and should be sent to CECOT

>>107053147
Ass paper, water, soap
Go spend unnecessary money on Dudewipes, one of the most Jewish sounding grifts as of recent in post modern capitalism
They have that ad with some fucker saying "Since the dawn of man, cavemen have struggled with finding ways to wipe their ass"
They used a pine cone or a wall or some leaves and your faggot ass blows money on wipes

>>107053147
Your the guy in the office that everyone says smells like shit but they are too nice about it to let you explicitly know. No it doesn't mean your a Snowden level hacker God just because it's normal for computer nerds professional Yu Gay Oh Magic and Super Smash Brothers Melee players to smell like a poorly kept barn
But you can keep trying
My dad works for a company that can hack smart toilets, they caught a Somali suicide bomber staying in an Air B&B that way. Literally happened just the other day

>>107052417
The Altaic theorem that connects Finnish, Korean and Japanese literally confirmed...

I live in texas and once I showed one family member the bidet technology, basically my entire family adopted them. it's 35 bucks and can be installed by literally anyone. why the fuck not.
we spent decades walking around with shit on our ass holes. No more.

>>107054154
I don't even let wipers sit on my furniture anymore.

>>107029816 (OP)
The bidet being *the* White way to clean your ass, while being rejected by so many White people, is a bellwether for the race.

>>107030886
>Water smears the microscopic shit, if u make a mistake and smear your finger with shit youll realize that water isn't enough
You literally just described the problem with NOT using a bidet and ascribed it to using one.

>>107029969
Yeah, if you use it a certain way, it can be a low-impact enema.

>>107054359
they're just very well known, i don't know anyone who has actually tried one and wanted to go back to only toilet paper

>>107054418
>>107054359
not* very well

>>107054418
>>107054429
The point is toward people who are aware and reject it.

>>107029816 (OP)
i am actually gay and to me it's ridiculous how a lot of men's whole identity is trying to not look gay. the amount of time and energy they place on it I'm sure classifies as a mental illness.
>hurr durr can't groom or take care of myself too much because that's gay
>hurr durr can't have sincere conversations and emotions with bros because that's gay
>hurr durr can't wipe my ass because that's gay
it is the most retarded shit i've seen. a lot of them are failed men going by their own narrow definition. it like they are legit scared of their own and other people's sexuality

even if i wasn't gay, i wouldnt miss out on mind blowing orgasms via prostate (if I was into that) just because someone might think im gay. plenty of men are degenerate coomers anyway but all of a sudden act high class when when it comes to their own asshole.

and why the fuck are they concerned about how im cumming in the first place? seems kinda gay :^)

>>107054551
sure, and my point is that how many reject it versus how many just aren't aware of them? i didn't grow up with them, nobody i knew had one, so i didn't use one for a long time, but not out of rejection
i was in my 20's in an overseas hotel until i actually saw one, and it was great, feels so much cleaner. not to mention simply more comfortable (why i ever thought rubbing dry paper over such a sensitive area was a good idea... that's just the power of not knowing any better i guess)

>>107054630
More people would be aware of it if those who were already aware weren't regarding it like a queer sex fetish for fags.

>>107029838
OH REALLY YOU MUST BE A BABY THEN

>>107054579
has aids award
massive faggot award

>>107054767
exhibit A, everyone

>>107054709
idk, maybe i'm just not gay enough to derive any kind of sexual enjoyment out of using one

>>107029816 (OP)
What happens when you flush on of those without being on the toilet? Does jt shoot a super soaker beam at the bathroom wall?

>>107029824
It's gay only if the balls touches

>>107046964
>You don't understand it's natural!
Shits himself from sphincter damage.
>Animals bugger each other too!
They don't.
>Nooooo, you don't understand I have to have sex with men Science says so! You're just ignorant backwards poopoophobes! You don't understand the sophisticated nuances of churning shit inside of another man's asshole!

>>107054825
Lol, you went well or of your way to notify anons about your sexual fetish centered around sticking things in your anus, self identify as mentally ill and have the audacity to call anyone else the same.

>>107055263
>they don't
Look at these gay lions lol

>>107055343
>around sticking things in your anus
i literally put the bracket bit in my other post to clarify it's not my thing and because I knew you would become hyperfocused on just saying "u gey" and ignore the rest of my post

you have reacted exactly as expected and focused 100% of your effort into distancing yourself from "gay", and have unironically failed to see and also proven the point of my initial message.

>>107054919
I don't think anyone does.

>>107029816 (OP)
I have one of these they're sikk. My grandad laughed for like 15 minutes straight when he saw the thing come out, he said it's a "funny" boy's toilet.

>>107029838
Awful alternative, people have already poitned out the problems. Meanwhile there are no problems with bidets outside of people's lack of masculine security.

>>107029816 (OP)
The bidet looks like the toilet has a penis that pees on your asshole to clean it. That's pretty gay.

>>107054579
I'm straight and act like I'm bent or a girl... I just need to be handsome and groomed so I can fuck hot bitches, I don't care about anything else...

>>107055894
This post? >>107054579
That begins and ends talking about your sexual proclivities?

>>107055349
They also lick their own assholes. Oh wait, never mind... is this why rape, eating poop, cannibalism of children, and murder are socially acceptable? Sometimes animals do it.

>>107032919
it doesnt spray up your asshole, if it does yours is far too loose from all the shit you stick up here

>>107029826
>i got asshair. toilet paper - even the nice stuff - just fucking shreds into a million pieces.
Just get your ass waxed if you're worried about that. No more hair down there!

>>107057525
Isn't there some kind of TECHNOLOGY to permanently and completely remove all body hair, but keep hair on my head intact?

>>107057548
if you wanna laser off your ass hair go ahead

>>107057554
Not permanent.

>Use bidet
>Also wipe
>Finish off with wet wipes too

I'm cleaner than any of you
If you ONLY use a bidet you're still a shitass

>>107057592
>I'm cleaner than any of you
I take full shower after pooping every morning.

>>107055083
Some of them have weight sensors and won't fire without an ass on the seat.

>>107057592
>>Use bidet
>>Also wipe
same, to dry and double check I'm clean
>>Finish off with wet wipes too
seems unnecessary

>>107052512
>shit once a day
WELL LOOKIE HERE MR I DON'T HAVE IBS

>>107057525
a $10 body hair trimmer will do away with ass hair with no pain
body hair shouldn't be over 3mm anyway

>bidet
>wet wipes
>toilet paper
>then shower
>douche with 99% alcohol
>spray asshole with bleach
I mog all of you

>>107030886
I wash my ass with soap in the bidet after taking a shit. Then I wash my hands with soap afterwards.

It feels good not being a retatded angloid.

>>107029816 (OP)
Honestly if someone is afraid of turning gay from having water shot up their ass then that's a them problem. I'll stay clean personally.

>>107037234
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_iASfS9esVU
get fucking destroyed retard. they don’t even break down properly
https://www.startupbooted.com/dude-wipes-lawsuit
>dude wipes literally lied about their own products
KEK

>Maro D'Italia Di800
Anyone have any idea about this thing?
>has all the features you'd expect out of a top tier TOTO
>very high quality from reviews I've read
>more expensive, but likely ends up the same or cheaper than a top tier TOTO once you account for import etc (especially since TOTO seems allergic to selling only the toilet seat without the toilet in Europe)

>>107061174
proper flushable wipes do

>>107062252
I can flush plastic bags, doesn't mean I should. Stop being a retards

>>107029816 (OP)
You should shower after shitting and wiping with toilet paper and wet toilet paper.
Using those water spraying bullshit does not clean properly and sprays shit all over the bathroom and air and yourself.
You will be covered in micro-poop particles.

Shower after pooping. It takes like 3 minutes to wash your ass

>>107061174
>>107062558
you need proper flushable wipes. the ones for ass wiping do disintegrate. how do I know? i fucking use them and if you leave them in the shitter they'll fall apart. i even re-wet them and they easily fall apart

>>107036159
I used something similar in a 5 star hotel in Budapest, it was fantastic.
Currently in the process of buying a house in UK, I'll install one of these on every toilet. Fuck using the shower after taking a shit.

>>107036743
This is less comvenient because cold water. I don't live at the tropics.

>>107061174
Can you really sue someone for posting the truth like that?

>>107029816 (OP)
>getting your ass sprayed with some penis
>wasting money on paper
The BEST way is to shit in the morning, then shower and wash your asshole with a soapy hand

Cleaning your ass with water is a Muslim practice. Just dry wiping it is enough.

>>107063340
It depends. If you have a healthy bowel movement then yeah that's fine, but if you eat a bunch of slop then there's a decent chance your poo will not come out so nice. Considering the average american's diet, I bet our poop on average is fucking gross so probably this country needs a bidet more than most.