Thread 29123716

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS CLAOVER!? BUT THE CRABBENING HAS ONLY BEGUN!!

ILLEGAL BIO-CRAB RESEARCH

THIS CRAB TIRES TO SEE EVERYTHING NOWADAYS IS A MONEY-TIED SCAM :(

PREVIOUS AQUARIUM
>>29090008

>>29123890
I've only ever seen the eight legs bit out of context. Thanks for the history.

>be crab
>12 years old
>Prisoner, VIP future meal
>Caught with other crabs at whale crabe party
>Efficient mass raking, alieeen teechnolooogeeeh
>TheYellowMenace.sea
>Spared from being flash frozen like most because of weight
>>Weight of these calcium n--claws, crabba
>Chilling in kitchen aquarium for a week, waiting for death patiently
>Cook faggot that looks like Master Chop from Parappa the Rapper loves tapping my glass, loves taunting me with how many days I have left to live as he taps my aquarium
>Can't even pretend to care, as my left claw is broken
>>Hydraulics faulty, constantly painful, almost immobile. Depressing.
>"Hope he chokes in my vibriosis, French dip-looking bastard"
>Only other company with any fighting spirit is this one loud cunt on the other end
>Claims to have been here for most of its life
>>3 years
>Claims onion headed faggot fears her, avoids picking her and instead goes for others
>Ignore as usual, it's well-into morning already
>CrabSleep.crb

>Horrible pain at my left claw
>Suddenly, relief... relief for crab? This is surely a drea--
>CrabWake.crb
>It's late at night
>Actual relief--
>>*crunch crunch*
>look to side
>>Left claw is missing
>Cunt is eating my severed claw, half of it gone
>. . .
>"Your wound is going to be ready to heal now. Should've taken it off the moment it broke, don't you know?"
>Stare at the scene, snatch own claw remains
>*eat what little is still there*
>Sheepishly thank cunt, I do actually feel the pain begin to subside
>Begin to share claw stories. Turns out she was captured with entire crabmune as small larva, detached from moms and has been growing in "The Captain's Aquarium" ever since
>Apparently not even other monkeysblike what these do to catch crabkind
>Been avoiding getting cracked at The Plank by fighting then throwing others to the front; then, eventually becoming too hilariously feisty so as to become the informal pet of the kitchen.
>>But food is still food, all crabs know and live by that motto
>>>

>>29123743
song name?

>Cap'n's aquarium
>It's my day of death
>Have made my peace with the Klaw, ready to become one with the Sea, as all of my ancestors have
>Ready for my shell to become and join the eternal sand that one day spawned me
>Onion chef is prepping a mad boil, stuck one of my taste whiskers out there half an hour ago
>>Shit's actually good, so at least I'll go as <good> alien monke food
>Flip eyestalks close, think of the reef home
>>Hear crab screams instead
>Cunt is being taken by Master Chop to the Plank, entire aquarium is actually shocked for once
>He lets out she was my replacement for "ruining me to the cap'n" - oh fuck, my claw
>>I had instead just won 2nd prize and became Parappa's sensei's dinner
>dinner for the monke fucker that talks to crabs, fuck me, c'aws
>Cunt manages to get the slip and scatters herself free(!)
>Does she decide to hop onto the floor and skeedadle down the starboard and thus freedom?
>No, retard runs all over kitchen counter, plops back into aquarium, tries to hide
>No crabba is willing to stay near her
>All crabscatter the moment she inches their way
>This fatass zones in to my direction, and for a moment I wonder if she's dumb enough to think she can exchange me to hydrocephalia Ramsey, but
>Just hides behind me and crouches, all fighting spirit gone
>Just... crab crying? Is this bloody crab forreals?
>"Now it's too late, dear rittre mrs.Crawy, you made chef Feng lear supel dupel clabby!..."
>>Is this jaundiced fuck throwing rhymes too!?
>UltimateRageKnownToAllCrab.swf
>>The Clawde switches ON
>>>

>>29124179
https://youtu.be/qxhnp7YhpOY

>>29124287
part trees
>Feign being timid, crouch as prick's freaky multiclaw approaches to grab fattie
>Spring into action, run as fast as crabbenly possible up bastards arm and behind neck
>Clasp onto man bun with only claw, clamp like a vice on neck
>Yellow jew is now hollering for help in surprise and pain, as the rest of his culinary synagogue congregate on my crabflex
>One of them tries to pan mitzvah me, but I yank Chop's pony tail down with force
>Massive noggin blocks the attack, knocks him down to the aquarium instead
>Cracks the glass of it with monke sixhead, releaseSTROOGE a massive water wave
>EveryCrabIsFreeToFeelGood.mp3
>Fatass catches the arm of what is now my surfing board bound for the open ocean
>>clawabunga.png

>Floating down the water, can hear many of crabkind cheer in disbelief as they float down free
>It'll be even more difficult once we hit ground, if we make it at all
>>But no more button-mashing and rhymin-crappin on my wat--
>Feel a claw tug on my only own
>Fatass cunt is floating down along with me. Can't even call her that after her help and, maybe inspiring a crabba into crabbing when it was needed
>Assures me we're not to terribly far away from a volcanic superisland; that life in there is good, and even that she's from the area
>Remember to ask her name

>"Kaniko"

https://youtu.be/VoYX85bSUXk

Welp, that's the end of my crabstory, crabnons. Eventually became a giant and radioactive during the nuclear accident on the island, and save for a few tales more, that's pretty much where this crab lies now, crabnons. Thank you for the love to the last thread, didn't had the chance to express so then. May the Klaw grip strong with you :)

>remake the thread
>fill it with mostly the same videos again

>>29125707
not to mention all of this is safe for work.

>>29125707
Where do you think we are?

>>29125707
>>29125715
>Minuteposts to complain
>Doesn't contribute

Thanks for the (you) crabba

>>29126126
>Minuteposts
u wot m8

>>29126126
>Doesn't contribute
How do you know? Did you drop your name, dump everything else in the thread, then put your name back on? Anon can't have posted a video earlier in the thread, gone away, come back and realized that there isn't much new in the thread and said something? Go sodomize yourself, faggot.

>>29126552
Chill, chill, there's no need to get
>crabby

>>29123716 (OP)
Crab people crab people

>>29123743
You would get executed in maryland for this.

Don't like this type of animal

>>29126684
... is that a crab eating a crabapple?

cool thread thanks

>>29124107
>>29124287
>>29124493
Crabiferous

>>29127203
you?

>>29127242
Lol

>>29126414
I will

>>29127242
May the Klaw make sure your grip never falters, crabbrotha

>>29127264
Cool

>>29123736
>she

>>29124179
Iron Crab, Black Crabbath

>>29125733
ngl, laughed harder than I was planning to.

>>29127264
how did they make all of those upside down b's?

>>29127239
I love how he swims

Have you ever noticed how many shell companies are owned by those longfaced lobsters? I heard they also control the riverbanks.

Crabazing thread

Hey there! I'm a 21-year-old gal from the States, a bit on the playful side with a soft spot for spicy chats. I absolutely love teasing and seeing how far I can push those limits while having a blast! I'm all about that carefree vibe and honestly, it just feels easier to connect this way. Plus, I can be a little shy in person, so this is my favorite outlet. If you're down for some fun and flirty convos, hit me up! You can find me on the app by searching for e-m-yz-e-t-h (remember to remove any spaces or dashes)! Can't wait to chat and see where it goes!

>>29129663
Walgae Reef as well. Had to move to my parents place, eventually migrated to Japan on the late 90's on fishing boats.

>CRABTCHA: JANNK

clawbump 4 crabz

>>29123743
omfg

>>29123736
Why the fuck did someone ai'd the fish?

Being a hero... saving it's coral friend

>>29131914
These wapanese motherfuckers really mariachi'd a crabba to death, dayumn. Talk about cool-tural appropriation kek