Thread 17793916 - /his/ [Archived: 817 hours ago]

Anonymous
6/26/2025, 10:23:25 PM No.17793916
IMG_2184
IMG_2184
md5: 2e41f714aa6482d387832493f3c6590a🔍
alright, hypothetical for atheist fedora wearing redditors on this terrible chinese cartoon site

The sky tears open and Jesus appears on national television with 100,000 angels in tow, broadcasting during the Superbowl. you now have empirical proof God exists.

which Christian denomination do you pick and why?
Replies: >>17793946 >>17793956 >>17793972 >>17794049 >>17794066 >>17794146 >>17794156 >>17794178 >>17794203 >>17794231 >>17794330
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 10:32:04 PM No.17793946
>>17793916 (OP)
I would like to hear what Jesus has to say from making his appearance.
Does he have anything to say?
He just showed up to make an appearance?
Okay.
I think I'd go with whatever Redeemed Zoomer is.
Replies: >>17793956
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 10:36:38 PM No.17793956
>>17793916 (OP)
>>17793946
Oh, I forgot the why.
I choose Redeemed Zoomer's shit because he's like analytical about it and said his denomination is more for those that are that.
Now that I think of it, I think i should choose Pentacostal because that's what my mom is.
Replies: >>17793991 >>17794041 >>17794218
Big Bongus !!9zfcclmmPlH
6/26/2025, 10:40:20 PM No.17793972
>>17793916 (OP)
They should just become reverse Christians like me
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 10:48:07 PM No.17793991
>>17793956
how’s your relationship with your mom Anon?
Replies: >>17794036 >>17794164
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:09:49 PM No.17794036
>>17793991
It could be better.
Language gap doesn't help.
But, given honoring your mother and your father plays into Christian belief, I may as well lean into it in that case.
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:11:31 PM No.17794041
>>17793956
>I choose Redeemed Zoomer's shit because he's like analytical about it and said his denomination is more for those that are that.
You fell for some very basic rhetoric
>My religion is for rational people.
You're braindead.
>Pentacostal because that's what my mom is.
Oh, so you inherited the retardation. I guess that explains why you're an atheist.
Replies: >>17794050 >>17794164
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:13:37 PM No.17794049
>>17793916 (OP)
>which Christian denomination do you pick and why?
So in your scenario, the Sky-Jew-Kaiju gives the world undeniable proof of God

But

He doesn't tell us which denomination is the most ideal?

Is that what I'm understanding?
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:13:57 PM No.17794050
>>17794041
I could have not replied and this thread could have just died, but okay.
Fuck me for playing along.
Replies: >>17794056 >>17794058
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:16:03 PM No.17794056
>>17794050
You see that "Options" text box right above the post entry?
Yeah you can do some cool shit with it, like it enables you to reply to a thread without reviving it
The Saw-gay grows in all fields
Replies: >>17794080 >>17794091
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:17:01 PM No.17794058
>>17794050
>I could have not replied and this thread could have just died, but okay.
What do I care?
>Fuck me for playing along.
Your rejection of Jesus Christ is what is going to "fuck" you. It is not yet too late https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foRtBHXM16A
Replies: >>17794080 >>17794164
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:19:15 PM No.17794066
>>17793916 (OP)
>implying I would be watching handegg
Replies: >>17794109
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:25:37 PM No.17794080
>>17794056
You only need it in one, right. Im not such a spiteful dickhead to do it from the jump.
I did it in the post you replied to and in this one.
Not out of spite or whatever, but because it's not topic relevant.
>>17794058
You can shove that link right back up your ass where you got it.
You and your lord can both fuck yourselves.
Replies: >>17794094
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:29:44 PM No.17794091
>>17794056
Also, even with sage, replying is still engagement.
It could then still engender replies that would then buoy the thread.
Which is why no replie is the best option.
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:30:36 PM No.17794094
>>17794080
>I hate God
Great! You're going to suffer more than you can even imagine. I'm glad my link made you turn up the temperature of those flames just a little bit more. I can't wait to hear your screams.
Replies: >>17794103 >>17794164
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:33:38 PM No.17794103
>>17794094
Yeah, cause Christianity has done wonders for you, amirite?
Who wouldn't want to be like you?
What a happy camper you are.
Replies: >>17794140
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:35:35 PM No.17794109
>>17794066
you’re missing the point
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:45:16 PM No.17794140
>>17794103
>Yeah, cause Christianity has done wonders for you, amirite?
Yes.
>Who wouldn't want to be like you?
Apparently God-hating, Christ-rejecting faggot pieces of trash such as yourself. Tick tock.
Replies: >>17794164
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:48:26 PM No.17794146
>>17793916 (OP)
What if right after Jesus makes his broadcast, Satan then shows up and says "He's lying to you, God is not the good guy, he has tricked billions of people for thousands of years into following a death cult and has punished man and improsoned me as I wanted to give man the gift of knowledge and pleasure. Heaven is an endless Church service where you are permanent slaves to God."

Would you become a Satanist? I mean it's a very compelling argument honestly
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:51:22 PM No.17794156
>>17793916 (OP)
Do any christian sects permit that sort of thing? Given I'm already changing religions it will probably be to one of the new warhammer gigachurch organizations
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:53:34 PM No.17794164
Okay, this has been bugging me.
Is this >>17793991 OP
Or, are these
>>17794041
>>17794058
>>17794094
>>17794140
OP?
Replies: >>17794165 >>17794173
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:54:28 PM No.17794165
>>17794164
the faggot wasting other people's time
Replies: >>17794169
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:56:39 PM No.17794169
>>17794165
Damn. That sucks if that's true.
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:57:52 PM No.17794173
Screenshot 2025-06-26 at 5.57.43 PM
Screenshot 2025-06-26 at 5.57.43 PM
md5: 738e7ef03e888ea4862109f3885afefc🔍
>>17794164
I'm not OP.
Replies: >>17794183
Anonymous
6/26/2025, 11:59:20 PM No.17794178
>>17793916 (OP)
Assuming Jesus doesn't do or say anything to make it obvious which one he prefers, I'd go with Eastern Orthodox because they have by far the coolest rituals and iconography.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 12:01:25 AM No.17794183
source
source
md5: 7827b7870d85182a806b1dd992e9881a🔍
>>17794173
Ah, okay.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 12:09:13 AM No.17794203
>>17793916 (OP)
Wanted to link this thread >>17786659 for all the denominations you can pick from.
Also I'm choosing Messianic Judaism. Ignore the anon that says it's not a denomination of Christianity, because the title obviously implies that it is when mentioning the messiah.
Picking this option because this denomination seems to do a pretty good job of following all of god's laws afaik, not just conveniently ignoring the ones in Leviticus for example. Not throwing shade at other denominations (that may not do this) in saying this. I also think that those laws shouldn't really apply any longer due to the fact that our food safety practices and technology for dealing with food has grown substantially since the time those laws were written. But the laws are there, and I guess if god were real, I'd want to be on his good side, lol.
Replies: >>17794218
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 12:14:54 AM No.17794218
>>17794203
Will also emphasize that I am not particularly knowledgeable about the Bible whatsoever, I could be saying some things that are wrong here. Also, I am basically just following my mom's beliefs like this anon >>17793956 is.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 12:19:24 AM No.17794231
IMG_4578
IMG_4578
md5: bad5fff24b5472ca02cdae2fe54a0983🔍
>>17793916 (OP)
Orthodoxy
I can't become a roman catholic because the more I study church history it shows that the Bishop of Rome as a universal or supreme bishop has no historical basis in the first millennium.

It's very clear that the pentarchy being 4 churches in the east and 1 church in the west with minimal contact due to geographic distance resulted in power swelling in the Rome-centric west while the other four all equally counterbalanced one another. Tack on how the Roman Empire collapsed in the west resulting in the Papal States while the East always had a Roman Emperor until they were all conquered by Muslims, it just makes logical sense why the Papacy ended the way it did, but not for any Biblically or theologically justifiable reasons.

Eastern Catholicism just seems even more absurd when it exposes that the Roman Catholics don't care about anything except the acknowledgement of the Pope as supreme. You can larp as an Orthodox, do the Eastern Rite, say the Nicene Creed without the Filioque (as it is written in marble on the walls of the Vatican), teach against purgatory, deliver the eucharist into mouth and it isn't a problem so long as you acknowledge the primacy of the Bishop of Rome. Theology doesn't matter to them. Geopolitical influence is the only thing they care about, and the Papacy is at this point too big to fail. They'll never humble themselves.
Anonymous
6/27/2025, 12:48:15 AM No.17794330
>>17793916 (OP)
>which Christian denomination do you pick and why?
Catholic because it's the one I grew up in.