So, Noah's Ark. That really happened?

>*Christian goes silent*

>>17887685 (OP)
hey brye

>AAAAAAAAAAA WHY OH WHY DID I SAY IT WAS AN ALLEGORY!!

>>17887685 (OP)
>goes silent
You don't talk to people, do you? What a termite. Enjoy burning.

>>17887733
Did Noah bring 2 termites on the Ark or 7?

>>17887750
I don't know, and I don't care. You're a social outcast. Have fun burning.

>>17887685 (OP)
>That really happened?
Yeah, the survivors from "atlantis" which went under at the closing of the ice age.

Have you seen how many cultures around the world have a primordial flood story? Sounds like some pretty big evidence that there was some flood to me.

But that doesn't matter because obviously this is just Anti-Christian Raid Thread #4020292822

>>17887685 (OP)
Based that Christians have continued the ancient Sumerian tales.

Have they released anything new?

>>17887772
www.enjoyhell.com

>>17887756
Have fun being silent when asked about your retarded religion. Hahahahahaha!

>>17887770
>Have you seen how many cultures around the world have a primordial flood story?

No, please list them all and let's see

>>17887685 (OP)
>That really happened?
Yes. Every single world down on the letter. Are you illiterate?
>>17887756
>>17887782
Those taquitos just got crunchier.
Enjoy Mexico.

>>>17887967

>Pagay goes silent

When you've been an allegorical atheist and you ask jesus if he knows you when youre being judged

>>17887835
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_flood_myths

>>17887685 (OP)
>>*Christian goes silent*
Not really, they are constantly scanning global maps and satellite data and regularly coming out with some grift where they found the ark and need money to excavate the site or building giant reconstructions as museums where they "prove" you can fit a bunch of animals in an ark.

>>17887770
So then because cultures all around the world have polytheistic stories, that is big evidence that there are many gods instead of just one?

>>17887685 (OP)
Yes, it's up on mount ararat.

>>17887685 (OP)
yes

>>17887685 (OP)
As far as I know, yes. I'm a historian, not a geologist so I'm not qualified to evaluate all aspects of the account. That said, the genealogies of the families of Shem, Japheth, and Ham map onto the world in one way or another.

According to St. John Bosco many Chinese are descendants of Shem. This was revealed to him in a dream by the angel of Arpachshad, son of Shem. According to St. John Bosco this is the angel of China. The angel spoke to him in Latin saying
>Angelus Arphaxad vocat vos as proelianda Bella Domini et ad congregandos populos in horrea Domini.
>The Angel of Arphaxad summons you to wage the battle of the Lord and to gather all peoples into His granaries.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JTzMGDmEmlk

>>17887685 (OP)
>That really happened?
Yes, it did. Next!

>>17887770
>why would cultures that exist nearly universally near water sources have flood stories
>idk man must be the same flood because the Bible tells me so

God damn Zika virus babies have bigger brains than Christians I swear.

Meanwhile atheists believe in this

>>17887701
Ahahahhahhahh. Should have followed the good book asshole

>12 Then spake Joshua to the Lord in the day when the Lord delivered up the Amorites before the children of Israel, and he said in the sight of Israel, Sun, stand thou still upon Gibeon; and thou, Moon, in the valley of Ajalon.

>13 And the sun stood still, and the moon stayed, until the people had avenged themselves upon their enemies. Is not this written in the book of Jasher? So the sun stood still in the midst of heaven, and hasted not to go down about a whole day.

Why was the biblical creator god under the impression the Sun revolved around the Earth?

>>17888518
Meanwhile, learned christians lobby to pass extensive laws about genetically intermingling with monkeys to make sure that doesn't happen because they know it is a real possibility even though they claim to deny it.

>>17888533
From our perspective, it does. Do you really expect them to write, "The sun around which the Earth orbits appeared to stand still because the Earth stopped moving and spinning around its own axis"?

Did Noah take 7 sheeps and 7 goats on the ark or just 7 sheepgoats?

>>17888546
Copium

The sun is stationary he would not command it to stay still lmao

>>17888564
The sun also moves around the galaxy. You're genuinely stupid if you cannot comprehend why a text intended for regular people prior to developed astronomy uses language that makes sense to regular people prior to developed astronomy.

>>17888546
Have you ever had to suddenly brake on the highway?

>>17888570
See >>17888569

No comeback from this btw. You're both retards suffering from serious Dunning-Kruger.

>>17888572
Why are you linking me to your reply to another post?

>>17888570
For reference:

>The Earth's surface at the equator is moving at approximately 1670 km/h (about 1037 mph or 464 m/s). If the solid planet were to suddenly halt, the law of inertia dictates that everything not securely anchored to the deep bedrock would continue moving at this incredible speed.
>Everything on the surface—people, buildings, trees, topsoil, and rocks—would be violently flung eastward, creating a supersonic shockwave across the globe. The effect would be like a planetary-scale blender, scouring the surface clean down to the bedrock. Virtually no structure would survive.
>The oceans, with their immense inertia, would continue to surge eastward. This wouldn't be a normal tsunami; it would be a wall of water kilometers high, washing across entire continents at hundreds of kilometers per hour before sloshing back and creating unimaginable chaos.
>Atmospheric Annihilation: The atmosphere, also moving at high speed, would turn into a global wind far more powerful than any hurricane ever recorded. The friction generated by this supersonic wind would be immense, likely igniting global firestorms and vaporizing anything that survived the initial impact.
>In short, an instantaneous stop would mean the complete and utter annihilation of the Earth's surface and everything on it within minutes.

>>17888577
I thought you were making a snarky comment.

>>17888582
No one denies it's miraculous and fantastical, like anything else in the book. Maybe that's how none of the laws of physics applied, too. Might be also that the sun was like a mirage instead of genuinely "frozen" in the sky. My only problem was the previous anon's remark about cosmology.

>>17887835
Literally basic knowledge, please go back to plebbit you faithless fool

>>17887685 (OP)
>Why wont you talk about the ark?
>Why are you worshiping the ark?
No matter what we do, you won't be happy about it.

>>17888569
I agree with you. I don't know why that other anon is arguing about it. Even after developed astronomy, people still talk like this. People still say that the sun rises, and sets. They dont explain every detail of reality in every moment of their life. People still things like "four corners of the earth", even though they dont really mean the earth is flat and square with corners like a polygon.

>>17887685 (OP)
Its a myth.
Not a false myth, but a myth nonetheless.

>>17888593
They're just local flood myths, not the same as Noah's flood >>17888137

>>17887750
7 is out of question. it's 2 or 14 (seven *pairs*). and IIRC termites aren't kosher, so 2 it is.

>>17888632
myths are false by definition, or they would be history.

>>17887756
>>17887733
Lol you're clearly seething.

>>17888582
>likely igniting global firestorms
winds in excess of 1 Mach probably do not allow for fires to burn. but at least we'd have hot western slopes of mountains (small ones - the Himalayas would probably roll over eastward) and cold eastern slopes where the air compressed into liquid state on the western slope (1 Mach+ does that on on-aerodynamic surfaces) suddenly reverts to gas.

>>17887756
Lol, of course you don't know, christcucks are clueless golems who don't think

>>17888644
Myths can be very truthful, actually.

I have always taken as a parable.
God was going to wipe the world or at least what the selected people/area deemed their world as they knew it and started again. The Arc wasn’t some big fuck off boat but vessel to begin a new.

Old Testament stories that actually happened as close to how the Old Testament tells it:

Exodus
Leviticus
Numbers
Deuteronomy
Genesis 37–50
Book of Ruth
Daniel 6
1 Samuel 17
Book of Esther
1 Kings 18
Book of Jonah

>>17887685 (OP)
It’s a symbolic story you fucking moron.

>>17888518
planet of the apes ? absolutely, look to the state of the world today

>>17888914
>Exodus

No evidence of a jewish escape from egypt lmao

>>17888569
That's not the action being talked about this instance though lmao

Keep coping your god doesn't know how his universe works

study the Mishna and the other rabbinic texts

>>17888803
>>17888645
>Lol
Opinion discarded. Enjoy Hell.

>>17887770
Have you seen how many cultures around the world are not Christian? Sounds like some pretty big evidence that Christianity is false.

>>17889624

>Heh! Look at all these cultures that prefer to sin and don't want the love of Jesus Christ! CHRISTKEKS PWN'D!

>>17887685 (OP)
>So, Noah's Ark. That really happened?
As a Christian, I have no idea and it doesn't impact my faith either way

>>17889629

It definitely did. How did fish fossils get on mountains?

>>17889626
Christian empires brought genocide, death, slavery, exploitation

Fuck off trying to larp you were some sort of bringer of good

>>17889634
That shitskin isn't even a nominal Christian, you must be new.

>>17889626
Not an argument.

so did we just forget about the fact that simon is into bustyboy porn and regularly uses it for his thread thumbnails
did it get memoryholed or what

>>17889564
>enjoy hell!!!!11!!!
LMAO

>>17889648

What the fuck?! That never happened, idiot. Do you mind giving evidence?

>>17887685 (OP)

>>17888533
it's much MUCH worse than that, anon. genesis says that space is made of water, just like in ancient sumerian cosmology. why does the genesis of the bible say that god created mankind on the sixth day and instructed mankind to go forth and multiply and then he rested... oh oops nevermind!!! ahhh we fucked up go back go back!! no actually he made a garden and only made ONE man. gee i hope nobody notices that we fucked up literally the first two chapters of our retarded waterworld double-origin cosmology

uh anyway canaanites are fags because canaan eyeballed his dad's dick once

it's a retarded desert religion, anon. don't take it seriously and just laugh at christians

>>17888518
>atheists believe in chimps

ridiculous! everyone knows chimpanzees and big foot are exctinct!

>>17887685 (OP)
I'd say it's an allegory for the several mass extinctions that have happened in Earth's history, but there's no way the ancient Israelites could have know about that (unless God told them), so that's probably not true

It's clearly ripped off from Sumerian flood myths, which were probably inspired by an actual historical flood, but one that only covered parts of Mesopotamia, not the whole world

There's truth in the Bible, but this isn't part of it, it's just a story, there's no way a rainstorm that lasted only 40 days could cover the entire Earth in water, Earth is a closed system anyway and the sea level, on average, never rises or falls, there's no way to put two of every species on a boat of any size and doing that would create such a huge genetic bottleneck that all the animals would probably die out from inherited diseases

>>17890307
Why is the image using the Bible as the reference when it's not the oldest one? The Bible version is just one of many degenerated interpretations of Ziusudra.

>>17887685 (OP)
These people often times think the earth is six thousand years old, and the Flintstones is an accurate depiction of history. All of that goofy weird shit is based in the same book. So no. It isn’t real and it’s shameful that people in this day and age say otherwise.

>>17887733
>What a termite. Enjoy burning.
Why would termites burn in hell?

>>17889632
>How did fish fossils get on mountains?

>>17888533
this ancient jewish cosmology demonstrates how retarded these religions are, simple. all flat earth nonsense is rooted in it

>>17888569
why would you take serious a religion made for retarded inbred jews 2500 years ago

>>17887685 (OP)
>>17887701
The chieftain of the failing Doggerbank and its many dykes brought all his livestock with him to found the PIE cultures. The southern branch became the Luwians which in turn became the Levites of Egypt and Israel. Noah = Nuada = Njordr = Nerthuz = Neptune... Poseidon is also related anyway. there's only so many seagods a mutted seapeople of a peninsula like europe can have before merging into one syncretic inbred story of no real physical origin. Garden of Eden = Iduns Orchard.
Picrel is Iber Boreas, the river of the frozen wind.
mythology is very inbred.

When did this board turn into /r/Christianity?

>>17887685 (OP)
2 questions:
1. Do you believe humans evolved from fish?
2. Do you watch tranny porn?

>>17887701
Is this a new /his/ meme or is it the same anon spamming all threads