Thread 17934503

/his/ Humor Thread

>Napoleon wastes millions of good French lives trying to conquer the worthless shithole that is Ukraine
>Hitler wastes millions of good German lives trying to conquer the worthless shithole that is Ukraine
>>Putin wastes millions of good Russian lives trying to conquer the worthless shithole that is Ukraine

What causes this?

>>17934511
>worthless shithole
It has a ton of god tier farmland as well as natural gas and mineral deposits. It's unironically quite far from worthless.

>>17934511
The Germans only suffered 2.4m dead throughout the entire war. Only Russia and China had the abysmal losses.

>>17934619
The great majority of those were in the east thoughever.

>>17934631
Yeah, but only because the fighting there ran for 4 times longer than it did on the western front, and 2.5 times as long as it did in Italy. 4x the time, 4x the casualties.

>>17934503 (OP)
>According to Samuel Clarke's General Martyrology, Catholic troops massacred a considerable number of Protestants in the Piedmontese valleys in April 1655. Clarke asserts that his description of these events, which took place between the first (1651) and second (1660) editions of his book, is based on signed eyewitness accounts of French soldiers. One of them stated that his comrades had eaten "the boiled brains of the Protestants"; both brains and heart of a killed man were fried for consumption, according to another witness.

>A soldier reported that after a woman was raped, her breasts were cut off and parts of her genitals cut out. They were fried together and served to other unsuspecting soldiers as "tripes".

>>17934667
White boys WILDIN OUT

>>17934667
Catholic religious fanatics are mentally ill.

>>17934705
Religious wars bring out the absolute worst in people because your enemies are heretics / infidels, they are evil according to the absolute moral authority you believe in, so anything you do to them is justified.

>>17934503 (OP)
but history is not funny tho

>>17934718
It can be

>>17934718
>"but history is not funny tho", cried the anon.
I replied..

>>17934503 (OP)
>humo thread
>look inside
>one img, much seething
Every time/10

>>17934837
I’ll fix it with some Pompeii graffiti

>>17934845
Very nice, anon.

>>17934854
Why is he throwing gang signs

>>17934865
Longdong is ruled by a kang in this scenario.

>>17934503 (OP)
>'humor' thread
where?

>>17934934
TFW carthagkikes could domesticate elephants but African nignogs couldn’t. Man those diseases sure are a bummer right?

>>17934503 (OP)
Old but good.

>>17934503 (OP)
>>17934845
>>17934849
>>17934856
>>17934866
Lookin like the /reddit/ humor thread so far

>>17934511
If Ukraine was populated by Germans or Anglos it would be the strongest country in Europe by far

>>17935020
I should've saved more old /his/ stuff

>>17935020
>>17935556
>sóy wojaks and chudjaks are 'old' now

>>17934619
The losses are relative to the population, the German losses either from their war dead or their own citizens they killed themselves contributes to a death rate just as abysmal.

>>17934511
You should have added Carl Gustav the OG to your list. We lost thousands of good Norsemen to his desire to conquer and subdue the Slavic people.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=90L5qnUGZ9w&pp=ygUSUG90b3Agc3dlZGlzaCBhcm15

>>17934619
>2.4 mil
Source? Because you are dead wrong but I want you to post some goofy bullshit
>in 1949 the west German government had military deaths somewhere above three million and the number grows as people manually sort out death cards

>>17934911
15 in the West.
14 in the Orient.

>>17934511
the germans absolutely btfo the red army in ukraine, wtf are you talking about

also putin isn't wasting millions of good russian lives, because all the good russians got out of that shithole. All thats left are mercenary trash.

>>17935878
Just bread, soup and apples?
Grim.

>>17934930
seems kinda pointless to put in all that effort to paint your horse like that

>>17934937
wasn't there some battle in the hundred years war where the french knights in their ridiculous heavy armor were too heavy to move through the mud so they got stuck and were all massacred by the english longbowmen? Talk about a technological dead end.

>>17935988
this is the most sane post i have ever seen on this website

>>17935998
looks like some kind of round root vegetable like turnips or onions, not apples, which makes it even more grim

>>17934930
idk why people post this like its some epic gotcha. Have you never read Darwin's Origin of Species? He explains in the very first chapter that taming individual animals is easy, even for savages, but getting tame animals to successfully mate in captivity is extremely hard and almost no animal will do it. Zebras aren't horses, individuals can be tamed, and especially robust individuals can even be ridden on by lighter people for short periods of time, but that doesn't mean they are domesticable.

>>17935878
That's a lot of bread.

>>17934588
Ukraine also has a lot of hot ass pseudo-Aryan blond women and a lot of men willing to do hard physical labor for a pittance.

Both being of great use to conquering armies and empires.

Along with copious natural gas and minerals.

the original boomer comic

>>17936160
You literally could pick this picture instead of the restored one to prove your point, but you didnt make enough research

>>17936162
What's comedic about it, though?
Lamentable.

>>17934511
>>>Putin wastes millions of good Russian lives

May I see them?

>>17936029
>that doesn't mean they are domesticable.

>>17934511
>Napoleon wastes millions of good French lives trying to conquer the worthless shithole that is Ukraine
Napoleon never set foot in Ukraine, nor even tried to "conquer" russia in the first time. He meant to defeat its army on the field, but they kept retreating back into their territories so he had to follow them, unprepared. Then he decided to occupy the capital to force a reddition (did'nt work) but there is no scenario where it would have been a permanent gain.

>>17936208
If you have a point to make then make it.

>>17936203
Russian people should riot in the street and 'taste' putin's daughters.

>>17936273
Looks like you need some 'domestication correction'.

>>17936268
Just to add to this, its important to distinguish that Napoleon basically just had one column advance in a straight line to Moscow. It was not like Operation Barbarossa with a 3000 mile long battle front advancing together to occupy the whole country at once.

>>17936278
Sorry, I'm only interested in auroch females not the bulls.