Thread 211959599

Bonnie Blue's Britain edish

this is a lily thread

>>211959617
I don't see her.

Struggling to wrap my head around this one lads

going to google food reviews of that mccains pizza to asses that aussies dinner

yer da orders a filet o fish

The Greeknonce who hides behind the Irish flag is the worst poster on /brit/

hot plate

Pakistan is the motherland but England is my home. I hope we beat India

>>211958840
We have deliveroo drivers though

Why does he switch to a brazilian or ethiopian vpn just to make the new? I don't get it

>>211959645
keep in mind i’ve spruced it up with olives and herbs and such, wouldn’t be too exciting otherwise

>>211959653
he takes his burger back up to the counter because it's not hot enough

he's paid good money for that burger

Aussies

Could you handle this, /brit/?

https://www.reddit.com/r/funny/comments/1lg01jm/man_tries_hottest_curry_in_london_and_almost/

>>211959689
do enjoy making frozen 'zas more exciting
have you tried cracking a cheeky egg on one?

>>211959716
Probably

he’s right though woke is well and truly dead
rorke won the culture war but the Nigerians are still here and nobody knows what to do about it even though they realise now it was a massive mistake

any /wog/ man in

going on reddit? no mate, not that cringe you see

>>211959716
the mango lassoo oh my days

>>211959711
A Jewess told them to legalise it so they did

>>211959716
theres one on youtube (possibly this same restaurant) the lad simultaneously pukes and shits his jeans

>>211959707
>>211959740
its almost comforting at this point coming here and knowing you’re here literally every moment of your waking life heathermong. almost part of the furniture at this point. like a crackling fireplace of autism, a constant reminder i could be doing FAR worse with myself

This is in every Timmy's future

omdz Rorke

>>211959736
aye thats a fucking classic frozen ‘za move

19 year old keeps flirting with me. I'm 33

>>211959716
I don't eat foren food

What would you do if you accidentally posted your own face on /brit/? Would you delete it (potentially drawing more attention) or would you just hope no one noticed
Asking for a friend haha x

>>211959822
Get them shagged

>>211959786
Jokes on you, I'm only on here for one hour a day on weekdays and maybe two hours a day on weekends

>>211959822
Get him shagged

>>211959822
yeah? get em shagged

>>211959778
Can't find it

>>211959851
Past though.

>>211959842
cum tribute myself and post it

>foreigner
was playing counter strike and british person called someone this as though the game is hosted in the uk

Doing the most disgraceful shits (got the shits) in my bathroom and I can smell fag smoke from the woman downstairs who smokes on the fire escape bet she can hear everything haha

>>211959869
CS is set in Bradford

>>211959834
I’m 100% pro choice but this is completely fucked

>>211959822
There are 50 year age gaps in the bible

>>211959858
American mode on?

>>211959853
shut the fuck up you delusional cretin lmao

>>211959869
u autistic lad? when we go to spain we say loads of foreigners here

>>211959842
Probably keep posting about it while pretending it was a joke despite the face everyone knows it was my real face but nobody really gives a shit

>>211959889
bit naive it you didn't realise this was all part of the bigger plan

>>211959892
It is a good deal to be fair

>>211959834
No abortion for men? Two tier kier at it again

you're playing me at street fighter 2 and i pick ryu
who do you choose?

Good deal this

>>211959822
I'm 25 and my friend's 19 year old ex wanted to shag me
He found out and tried saying I groomed her

jelqing to the tel aviv missile footage with my legs in the air like im at the gynaecologists

finally trimmed the grass so fucking tired

>>211959930
shinobi

>>211959922
Found this very funny not sure why aha x

>>211959898
>when we go to spain
don't go to spain as i'm not a deano

good deal that

>>211959889
So not 100% then. Why lie?

Any deals lads?

Good deal tbf

would buy that deal

going to the public house to drink some fermented drinks later

>>211959938
>>211959961
spacker

Haven't shaved my pubes in months. Don't really see the point. This weather has got me considering it though.
I thought hair was supposed to cool you down? Inside of my boxers look like the drain in the local swimming pool

thrifty wanker loves his deals

my hair is falling out

they out here smol beanifying ali khamenei on leftist twitter

>>211959993
Mental elf
It's all a bit deceptive isn't it

>>211960014
I'm 23 and have shaved my pubes like once in my life

didn't see the new, must be one of the dogshit flags I've filtered

>>211960035
grim

>>211960014
I don't shave them, I cut them with scissors.
Give them a haircut.

>>211960014
I only do it because the willard looks bigger and better in photos to the protogfs

>>211960051
How is it grim

>>211960056
fucking SCORMING

>>211960056
scramaging

>>211960056
yeah scihxitsursbk and that aha
next gimmick please! NEXT!

done any good cooking creations when on steamingtoil recently lads? think my best was a while ago when i used two chicago town pizzas as the 'baps' and had a cheesy jalapeno burger between them

ah yes reposting the same image over and over, the height of /brit/ humour

>>211960035
and you shag birds all hairy down there?

which type would you choose

>>211960014
Couple years for me. Got pubws that are easily like 3 inches long and my pube grow all the way up my shaft. Looks like a dog's willy fs

ah yes reposting the same image over and over, the height of /brit/ humour

>>211960082
grim fat cunt

Free the zesty mandem

>>211960081
sybau

>>211960105
!!

goutberg on a mad one today

tartar sauce is just tarq mayonnaise

ummy thats a ponyberg

>>211959648
So when are you returning?

>>211960114
*punches your head into a fine red mist*

just witnessed a ponystein

Dinaric.

why do my neighours always trim a patch of grass on my property when they trim their own? it can't be a gesture of good will because they stop halfway so it looks half-assed. is it like an own? like "look, I'm such a better household keeper, let me remind you that your lawn looks like shit". it can't be for the better look of the street neither because like I said it looks half assed.

>>211960139
whomst are you quoting

are the bradderbunnies allowed

>>211959891
All by black men

>>211960061
If you have to ask there's no hope for you

you ever plucked out all your pubes with a pair of tweezers?

I have. Incidentally you can also see the result, and my willard, in the archive if you search "plucked pubes" with GB filter and Only With Images.

>>211960160
not reading that novel

>>211960150
Canada.

playing pokemon arceus legends and what were they thinking with this thing got me bricked up fr

>>211960160
Be grateful rorke ffs

>>211960089
12 yo

>>211960135
when am i returning to where?
my family's been in england for 1000 years
gonna gtfo first chance i get though because it's gone to complete shit and it's only going to get worse

>>211960089
Imperforate

how do you know if you're gay or not

>>211960203
The English race can return to England

>>211960206
screaming

>>211960218
did you want to suck willy?

>>211960223
no idea what you're on about

>>211960211
Equation.

>>211960202
do you ever wake up and think to yourself “hmm maybe i won’t be an autistic internet child molester, just for today”

>>211960243
then sybau

huh? what was that?

....just the wind I guess...

>>211960212
lips made to please african poles of soul

Doing a bunkr albums wank

>>211960243
England is flooding Scotland with English colonists

It's caused by tonsil stones

>>211960275
ummers

do you lads have pubes on on your shaft?

>>211960259
Play.

female flatmate was mortified when I mentioned I never use hand wash
I think she'd kill me if she knew I literally never wash my hands

>>211960218
ever shagged an arse?

>>211960218
have to shag a lad to see if you like it or not, its the only way to confirm your straightness

>>211960258
then what?
are you trolling or actually just this bad at communicating with people?

>>211960292
mine go all the way up to my japseye

>>211960296
why are you grim

Older
Fatter
Balder

got up at 9 in case the post man came early and they still havnt been

>>211960254
its bantfer

>>211960296
she fit?
ever sniff her knickers?

I need my nerves.

>>211960296
Why not? Hands get smelly and clammy

>>211960314
The changing dating circle of young women

>>211959972
grim

could never have flatmates or live with other people

due to my crippling autism and social problems you see

>>211960230
no

>>211960297
no

>>211960298
um

>>211960319
you’re a pedophile

>>211960312
I never even think about other people's hands touching stuff, doesn't bother me, plus germs are good for your immune system I never get colds

just did a big wank and spaffed everywhere

Starting with enigme.

>>211960277
and?
did you think i was an englishman in scotland?

>>211960338
this u

>>211960355
post your fingernails right this minute

I can but I want it right, very right even.

>>211960355
no it’s not good for your immune system for it to be fighting sub clinical infections you TWAT. not good for health in general

>>211960337
lived with strangers throughout uni, hated it

idk got nothing to say

>>211960355
Such a useless cunt

>>211960337
just lived in my room at uni like a smelly incel and tried to go out when no one was around

Vur.

50 cc’s of pepsi max injected straight down the dorsal vein of my knob

rorke your father will not be joining us for dinner as he roasted to death in the latest heatwave

look how gay i am

>>211960382
That's rorke

Got the Elliott smith on
WASPs really have the bard's touch it's amazing that Englishmen never did anything classical-wise considering the magic they produce when you put a guitar in their hands

>>211960452
Non.

>>211960430
>scientists
never listening to another "scientist" again after the covid lies

>>211960452
fucking shrieking wtf

Caucasus.

>>211960474
love when you can spot a smelly incel shutin freak who hasn’t seen the sun in half a decade when they tell on themselves with posts like this

>>211960480
I'm in the middle of a nose bleed so you picked the perfect time to ask

(obviously will wash them after this)

>>211960452
what is that on your nails, dried blood? Last night's curry?

>science
grow up

Can't understand people voting against this. Well I suppose it'll reduce the Tory vote so they'd be against it

>>211960502
you didn’t go outside for years because of a cold you moronic cretin

experts? trusted
gangs? smashed
pensioners? heated
rhetoric? put aside

Why does Spaki like Sabrina Carpenter so much?

>>211960531
see >>211960502

>>211960510
He bites his nails and gets hangnails that he pulls off with his teeth. That's why it's all at the edges.

t. Used to be a nail biter

pulled my fucking back reaching for painkillers to treat a headache I no longer have. caused myself more severe pain in reaching for painkillers than I had in the first place. can't move.

Will always believe we were wrong to lock down during COVID. Should have let it run rampant rather than adding billions to our deficit and keeping millions of pensioners alive, who continue to drain the public purse. A once in a lifetime event and we pissed it away

>>211960544
thicko incel you

>>211960502
what would it take for you to stop trusting the news media?

drinking paint

>>211960452
Genuinely horrific. get help

>>211960520
i think as long as it doesn't hinder palliative care it's a good thing. the worry would be that they use it as an excuse to not push more money and resources into making terminal people being able to live a painless existence til they go.

whats rorkes problem?

making dinner but im not hungry x

off to a walk

>>211960520
They're all religious people. It's that easy.

Hate driving when I'm desperate for a slash. Almost wet myself on the M25 stuck in 20mph traffic, had to hold it til halfway down the A3.

>>211960580
>>211960581
please understand five years ago i would be sat here probably agreeing with you, it was fucking grim and stupid, but the fact covid shit is still at the forefront of your minds after all these years is so fucking sad the world has moved on and you haven’t changed a bit in half a decade

>>211960576
you think millions of pensioners would've died without the lockdown?
if we'd just advised the people at risk to quarantine themselves, the exact same number of people would've died
actually a lot fewer, because millions wouldn't have been denied non-covid medical services during the lockdown

>>211959650
I’m from Cheshire

*walks up to you*

yeah I'll have a blueberry slush puppie

>>211960618
>hundreds
That's insane. Incompetent councils and subhuman filth coming together to waste money and pollute the environment

>>211960638c
done a piss into a bottle once and nearly crashed

>>211960618
probability of this being down to wogs: 86.4%

gotta keep 'em separated,
call that shit apartheid

>>211960534
she's annouced her worship of BBC multiple times

anyone else wake up in the middle of the night with their heart pounding after a night of heavy drinking?

>>211960641
>i agree with you i just sperg out whenever covid is mentioned
kek
no you sperg out because you disagreed and you don’t want to be reminded how wrong you were

the LGBT community has the strongest military in the world

am I the only one that genuinely thinks spainlad has left for good?

maybe I'm just not sad enough to obsess over him

It happened
They deserved it
It's going to happen again

>>211960693
who?

>>211960674
no. dont drink you see. Have excellent sleep as well

can't believe I pissed myself last night am a fucking disgrace

delighted to announce that the car has passed another MOT
drivetoil will continue through 2026

Play.

>>211960641
>the world has moved on
the news started telling the truth did it?
if you think we're not still feeling the consequences of that totalitarian nightmare then you're blind
do you even remember what the world was like before 2019?

>>211960576
worked for months at home in my smelly bedroom as a "key worker" in a call centre, sat there with my pathetic little headset taking calls for 8 hours a day for £1,245/month while the sun shone down and other people were being paid £2,000/month to sit at home wanking or go for long walks in the fresh air

genuinely I went insane doing this and ended up trying to kill myself after like 6 months of it then quit my job in the aftermath. I just couldn't sit in that boxroom any longer knowing that normal people were out there getting the better of me. It was better to be dead.

No it didn't
It was all made up
6 million? Really? Whatever

>>211960576
>Should have let it run rampant rather than adding billions to our deficit and keeping millions of pensioners alive
Not a single person died of "Covid 19".

mumberg is coming home from bingo
she better be bringing in some grub some of that M&S foodhall quality grub yum yum

snapping my erect knob like a glowstick

It's fucking raining lads

>>211960704
i've gone to booze shop to get more cans after (lightly) following through and not changing

>>211960452
i also bite my nails like this, only usually one "bad one" at a time
genuinely a curse, getting money together for bupa to get to the bottom of it for good

>>211960732
Sharing is caring.

Denying the Endloesung is gay and christian.

>>211960719
please just have sex you boring fucking bastard PLEASE!!!!

i was unemployed and on bennies and spent the time riding up and down the countries on the trains

I saw basically everywhere was a lot of fun

>>211960747
is it really that bad of a habit?
the blood is from a nose bleed I'm currently having, haven't bit them till they bleed since I was a kid

it was real, all of it

>>211960576
>our deficit
oh no we owe ourselves money, what a nightmare

Heatwave just killed my nan. Boiled to death in her chair while watching Saturday Kitchen. Going to need a mop and bucket to clean her up.

gorgeous persian woman on bbc news right now

>>211960741
The good pure stuff. Unadulterated.

>>211960785
Alright MMT lad

Bill Ates is fat now

>>211960792
Then I am right.

must be proper painful for spackers like holden to think back to when they said covid is like AIDS and advocated for the death penalty for unvaxxed people

>>211960788
grandad spontaneously burst into flames while making a cup of tea earlier but he's mostly out now

really don’t understand the point in those toilet brushes because then you’re just gonna have a have a brush with shit on it

just fried an egg on my nan's head it's that hot. won't last the day.

chuds still blaming covid to this day?

Got no mates, you see

lads it is not a good day to be 135 kilos

>>211960776
>haven't bit them till they bleed since I was a kid
for me yeah this is a pretty regular occurrence
tried having a think about what's triggering it, somewhere between aimless nervousness and boredom

>>211960792
the latest evil plan is move to iran and convert to whatever form of islam they’ve got going on over there and acquire 100 voluptuous hijabi wives and strap myself for a ballistic missile headed for tel aviv once they’re all shagged out

>>211960792
imageboard not vague descriptionboard

>>211960807
I redpilled Bill Gates.

>>211960723
just looked through the archive of posts with this image and I feel for you lad

hope things are in any way better for you now

>>211960848
How the fuck do you actually weigh 21 stones

>>211960763
i can have sex without forgetting that we were treated like cattle for years because "scientists" literally lied through their teeth to give the government an excuse to turn society into an open air prison

>>211960807
linked up with Linus and he sucked the youth right out of him. Another win for the Linuxchads

Does he really believe he is only here for an hour a day?

Did he really develop dissociative identity disorder from getting raped by his uncle as a child?

I just wish I could understand what motivates him to be this way and why he is so deeply disturbed.

>>211960841
mogs me he at least has a hole to shag
only got the various different smells in my smelly bedroom to appease me

>>211960848
enjoyed this post

>>211960711
see if you know your car is going to fail it's MOT, how do you book it in to get everything fixed before the MOT?

I use Kwik-Fit for my MOT but with them you book it on their website and there's only select options for booking the car in like for a tyre change or an oil change or for an MOT etc. But I want to book it in for X, Y and Z specific things that I know are currently making it 'unsafe' to drive. I'd prefer the car not fail its MOT and only then do they fix them, as it looks bad on the car's MOT history.

Can I just phone them and say I want to book it in for these things? I have autism.

>>211960532
god mano

>>211960841
blokes with a gf but zero male friends are the saddest of all, absolute husks. No idea how you can wind up in that situation but it's surprisingly common

>>211960848
alri spaino

terrible day to be a Peroni

who needs the kwik e mart
their floors are sticky mart

reckon those paki takeaways that are somehow always open past 11pm/midnight on weekdays are up to no good

I really hope Israel win and Iran is restored to its former glory

It's totally unfair I can't visit both Iran and Israel I have to choose one or the other

get the persian legs out

>>211960848
oh crap, I shouldn't have mentioned my weight

Bit worried about the state developing an AI powered system to reidentify people based on anonymous data... Done nothing outright illegal, but I'd rather not have my employer in 2035 be able to search me up and see I'm a nasty racist. Never had my own internet contract, and have never been logged into Google for searches, but also dont bother with a VPN.... Im cooked arent I?

>>211960893
sometimes you're just a lone wolf that needs a gf xx

I’m wilting like a small flower in the sun

spluttered and spilled tea all over my gym vest

>>211960841
Dad made me go to football training when I was younger despite being very obviously shite at football. Getting up early on a saturday to go stand in a field with lads who didn't speak to me and awkwardly kick a ball until the coaching bloke said I wasn't on the team

>>211960893
Happens as you get older and you move away or your mates do.

t. knower

business idea: list my sexual fetishes on my CV

>>211960888
you can just get it in for a service, they'll detect these kinds of things before the mot

>former glory
>american client state

>>211960935
now you get up early to sit in front of your computer in your smelly childhood bedroom to your fake online mates

Thoughts on Welsh Cakes lads?

>>211960893
baffling post

>>211960703
asking someone who's name is rasheed

>>211960893
willing to bet its just the gf being a manipulative hag and isolating him from his mates, what normal person would feel the urge to air out their husband’s social failures to an audience of millions online

>>211960947
these fetishes being?

>>211960924
Yeah I reckon. AI will make it effortless to profile everyone whereas atm they only do it if you're raising major red flags and are on watch lists

>>211960957
No I do stuff I actually enjoy now with people I like. You okay lad?

>>211960935
If you're not into football as a man in this country you're socially fucked. I mean your dad had good intentions doing it

Goes well with /brit/ viewing if anyone is interested x

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5nj1HWC-dQs

I have zero male friends and zero gf, I dreamed about having a gf last night, we shagged each other up our respective arses

This Jewess wouldn't dream of pressuring the Israeli government to legalise euthanasia

>>211960982
sex with of age biological women

>>211960943
if you can't form new friendships it suggests you spend all your free time with your gf and never do anything without her which is very sad and soy behavior

just laid an egg

got no mates me

had no mates since I left school in 2011

>>211961019
No you didn't. Grow up.

>>211960956
That's what's mental, they were actually booming before the revolution.
Tons of money was being poured into infrastructure and public works, poverty was quite low, yet they decided to throw a revolution on the scale of the French or American ones. And now they can't even keep the lights on or defend their own airspace. Makes u think

>>211961003
Are you dumb? The post literally says the bloke went to baseball games without his gf.

>>211961019
*scurries over on all fours and scrans it whole*

>>211961000
never had a sexual dream in my life
chalk it up to discovering porn and wanking far too early

>>211961048
um

i swear to god in this country we have massive votes and debates over the most insignificant things
like people have the strongest views on the things that literally don't matter
oooooh noooooooooo 80 year old woman with cancer wants to end her pain WE MUST VOOOOOTE

>>211961019
alri chicken

>>211961050
>>211961050
>>211961050

will be twerking for the tiktoks later

>>211961036
*does a handstand and poos another through the air and straight down your gob, promptly choking you to death*

>>211961001
Are you afraid they'll euthanize you?

Treatment you fully deserve and would benefit from, but does it frighten you?

>>211961034
same for me from 2014 when i left uni
ive managed though
and ive got the /brit/ pals

>>211961001
she's been terminally ill for about 4 years now
if she wants to die she should just do it already and stop dragging others into it

>>211961040
[CIA propaganda intensifies]
ok agent cody

>>211960924
How are they going to do that?

>>211961034
>having mates at school
fUCK
oFF
nEURO
tYPICAL