Thread 212096445

vegemite scroll edish

Must be weird working at Lucozade headquarters knowing you make juice that only nig nogs drink.

back from me holiday lads
anything happened here in the last week and a half or have you all just been sitting on your fat arses wanking over trannies

>>212096471
I'm sure they know how they feel over at Rubicon HQ

>>212096471
>lucozade
>juice
Rorke mate……. Lmao

*dryhumps you as you scroll past*

>>212096491
Soft drinks (Coke, Sprite etc) is juice.

>>212096491
Russian.

>>212096487
Ww3 started and ended. We won (again)

Nothing better for washing down a lovely ‘kizza or kebab than a nice tinny of Rubicon mango corrrr

vile disgusting early thread
foul

>>212096500
International.

>>212096517
*punches your head clean off*

>>212096498
Council estate moment

>>212096491
>>212096498
fizzy juice

I'm fae fife

real men drink the lidl version ludozade. only 9p a bottle and twice as isotonic

>>212096541
Can’t imagine being this underclass

imagine the relief when you die though

I'm 31 and ready for it to be over. Imagine how people in their 80s must feel at the prospect of finally not having to keep going.

>would you like your sporty coupe with a naturally aspirated 400hp V8 that is a mechanical work of art and sounds like an orchestra?
>no thank you, I will take the 2 litre diesel
Why are people like this?

mad how you come through heathrow arrivals and you don't see a single white english person on the staff
getting shouted at in some umbongo patois to GO DIS WAY GO DAT WAY
what the hell has happened to this country

>>212096562
I’m 32 and want to live forever. Being alive is great, I want to keep seeing more of the world and experiencing new things.

>>212096566
Why not seek out and directly ask the people who do that. They've probably got a forum so go ask them. You're not busy, at all, yet still YOU WON'T DUE TO COWARDICE.

>>212096562
30 to 80 will go by in what will feel like less than 10 years

>>212096586
Based vitality enjoyer
Life is a magical experience

>>212096570
>blud doesn’t know his way out of terminal 3

>>212096537
hope your mum has you put away soon

>>212096566
I just want to get from A to B

don't even care what my car looks like on the outside; never been washed, missing hub caps. Am I to believe that if I had a different car people would come up to me and start talking to me?

Crush the biomass into a large cube

>>212096605
Completely agree and not baiting. Life is a gift, simply being alive is great. I try my best not to take it for granted.

>>212096617
i know how to get out of terminal 3 as i am capable of reading signs
despite this, the negroes who work there still see it fit to shout in your ear at 6am

>>212096594
I fucking hope so

hope I die in my sleep tonight

whisk the biomass into a fine slurry and feed it to my pet goldfish

my arse is a complete write-off after that last rape

sucking some refreshing energy fizzy juice

in 100 years theyll be reading these posts and we'll be dead. tales of rorke and leftypol

I'm sure life is great if you have people to share it with.

If you don't, it's not.

>>212096538
leftypol the champion of the working class

>>212096628
That's fair enough, if you're not arsed then it makes sense
My post is directed towards the people who buy an Audi A5 S-Line Night Edition Style Pack (1.5 TSI)

got to go to shitting gatwick of all places tonight

might kill myself so i dont have to do this essay

everyone hates the rich
do you have the courage to hate the poor?

>>212096542
baynes sausage roll and a bottle of juice for lunch, is it?

they've changed the recipe for super noodles and now they're utterly fucking shite

>>212096566
now compare running and servicing costs

RS5s are pointless also. Paying more than an S5 without getting something like an M3 that will be better

>bagpuss
more liek SHAG PUSS

>>212096669
It won't be a human reading them. No living person will ever sit down and read the collected works of /brit/, all threads from start to finish.

It'll be an AI robot that parses all those thousands of human-made comments in a nanosecond, scanning for specific keywords.

eat
sleep
/brit/
repeat

>>212096628
he's a child. his main point seems to be that turbos are bad because theyre cheaper and more environmentally friendly and they dont "sound good". he probably goes to demolition derbys to wank off to monster trucks.

>>212096699
stop being a pathetic runt

>>212096445 (OP)
Why aren't they a thing here?

>>212096682
oddly specific

>>212096692
everyone who is poor is based.

>>212096645
probably because you’re bumbling around like mr bean looking lost you absolute goon

noo pigger

>>212096653
bad news, your pet goldfish now has niggeraids

say gz

>>212096726
brown handed cunt

>>212096696
>baynes sausage roll
corrr
how does a polak know about baynes?

Might put a toothpick up my urethra and see if I can pee it out

>>212096543
what's it called? i go to lidl but can't think of the name

sometimes i like to lie on my bed and pretend I'm paralyzed and can only move my eyes. obviously I'm breathing as well but apart from that

more of a coomer now at the ripe age of 26 than i ever have been in my life

>>212096766
Stop the plague!

Only 6 months to go. Might get the tree up now

>>212096749
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vJ5Efq-zyno
needs this attached

Buying a lambo so I can sit at 70 and then be in traffic with all the vauxhall astras.

>>212096756
a wily, knowing bunch, them polaks

>>212096773
Bully!

>>212096756
I commute to work in the Dunfermline Amazon on a daily basis.

would like a porsche 944, the retro look is captivating

Mental how tall some of the leaders at the NATO summit are, the Albanian and Spanish PMs are absolute units, literally basketball player tall. Trump is a big lad as well.

Then we have little fat doughey midget elderly lesbian looking Starmer.

Why do we love electing absolute midgets? I swear since David Cameron we haven’t had a single leader that was even 6’, May, Boris, Truss, Sunak and Starmer are all short arses

Rotating a 3D poo barm around in my head

>>212096803
is that supposed to be the sibling

And I like it, I like it
I like it, I like it
I li-li, like it, li-li-li
Here we go, oh, rorkin' all over the world

>>212096754
Don’t have a meltie at me because you got embarrassed Rorke

>>212096770
just stole your post and put it in the group chat

>>212096711
>theyre cheaper and more environmentally friendly
They aren't really, it's just easier to game emissions and economy tests with turbo engines. Modern NA engines can get brilliant fuel economy for their displacement, look at something like a Gen 3 Coyote or the 5.5 in the last SLK55. Both easily capable of 30mpg+ despite being 5.0 or over.

poo this, rorke that. Where are the actual posters who want to discuss things and sort things out.

>>212096806
I worked there but I only did 2 shifts then I quit kek

youre brown
youre brown

Fucking steal lads. Large paki 'za delivery for $10 i'm eatin good tonight x

car mongs

>>212096827
how did the band that made pictures of matchstick men make this complete tripe

>>212096839
*rapes you*

>>212096867
Can just tell this lad is a Marxist without knowing anything else about him

just done some accounting

monthly income is about 2300
monthly outgoings about 1600 including 335 debt repayment

not too bad, shall be debt free by this time next year

>>212096898
good man

>>212096854
The day brexit happened I was doing a night shift there and looked like this lol
Some English guy tried to be pals with the Spanish table but turned them against him when he started talking about the good immigrants (them) vs the bad immigrants (*them*).

A type of hot dog which is almost indistinguishable from the saveloy is popular in the state of Maine, where it is commonly known as a "red hot" or "red snapper"

just tried to post an image but it's a webp
sick of it

*enters thread*

>>212096935
Get rid of it, you hwar me?

>>212096628
This, only povvos care about cars

>>212096878
finally, some action

>>212096923
>>212096932

>um once you turn 18 you're responsible for yourself and all your problems sweetie x

A child is born and encased in a box with 2 input tubes for air and food slurry, 1 output tube for waste, and a smattering of air holes. The box is kept in a soundless, dark room, After 18 years the box is unlocked and the now-adult human is free to exit.

Thankfully, now aged 18, he alone is responsible for everything that happens to him from this point onward and, one can assume, he will live a fruitful and happy life.

Got Charli on the Alexa, sipping on a lovely iced coffee, dancing around in my boxers and a vest, got a nice chilli con carne bubbling away in the slow cooker

Life’s good de lads x

Might buy a grill

>>212096838
well they just are i would bet money that a 2 litre turbo jetta is getting more mpg on an identical commute to a 5.5l slk55

out of interest i just looked this up and nobody is getting the claimed 35mpg out of the slk, its like 25 irl. i think youve been clarksoned

>>212096898
Why are you even in debt?

>>212096959
bim

>>212096963
hay una fiesta en mi casa

>>212096923
cycloberg

Play Stellar Blade on PC

>>212096979
the elusive 742 evergreen terrace rumpus room as it were

got one of those prosthetic knobs that i put in my pants when i go running at the run club so it looks like ive got some weight in there

>>212097010
Refute

>>212096979
Mental it's one week into the future in New Zealand due to time zones

>>212096972
Two overdrafts and one credit card from years of not earning much and not giving a shit about anything but now I'm doing better so I need to pay it off. About £3.7k altogether

>>212097028
it's also christmas day or something

>>212097031
Very grim, good luck m8, stay away from credit cards and any sort of loan bar a mortgage.

spend about 4.5 grand a year on alcohol

>>212097010
>buying a 50 quid game just to have a wank

biting my toes off

>>212096911
If only i'd known I would have let you take refuge in my attic like Anne Frank

tbf without the banks i would never have a house. how did life work before mortgages?

>>212097046
Not the lad you're replying to but credit cards make sense for large purchases if you're not a mong and can be trusted to pay the balance.

Obviously people who treat them as free money fall into the camp you have described, people who shouldn't get them.

>>212097053
squid game

Be human.

>>212097072
people earned more and houses cost less

>>212097028
remember letting everyone on yahoo answers know they are going to be ok during that 2012 apocalypse scare

>Labour MPs are going to block cuts to bennies
What a shitshow, I wonder if Reform will get in next election.

We got a cow in here.

>>212097046
I don't see how a debt I can pay off in one year is very grim, that seems very manageable. In a single rotation of the earth around the sun all my debts will be gone and I will be finally saving money for a deposit

I have been doing a lot of thinking lately and I've come to the conclusion that National Socialism is correct, and that it offers real solutions to what is important in life, as opposed to communism, which is simply secular Christianity.

I've also come to the conclusion that only the White can create and maintain civilisation and that we are superior to other races as we are more beautiful and intelligent, and therefore a White world is needed as envisaged by luminaries such as William Luther Pierce.

Finally, I've also realised that race is the decisive factor in history.

Total Aryan Victory.

>>212097111
Xbox one.

>>212097077
How do they make sense?
>I want thing, can afford thing?
>If yes buy it
>If no save for it
The only benefits seem to be the points system you get with some so you can get a free Sony Walkman if you get 500,000 points, and the security aspect of protection if you get scammed.
>>212097115
I mean it's grim you got into that situation in the first place.

>>212097125
yeah?

>>212097125
not particularly fond of our melanated cousins either but you're the biggest gimp of all time

So.

Paul Bohill seizing yer da's Fiat 500 to settle his klarna debt (from Domino's pizzas)

>>212097125
>communism, which is simply secular Christianity
correct, which is why there's an overlap of orthodox Christians and communists

Bible?

>>212097136
>free stuff with points + consumer protection

These are the only benefits but they are significant. From the perspective of a person who CAN save and buy anything, it then becomes a question of "why shouldn't I just use the credit card and get stuff for free + extra protection, for free?".

>>212097125
I remember when I was young and got sucked into that shit. You'll grow out of it once you make some friends

rorkes safeway haul

>>212097053
Gameplay is actually fun to be fair

>>212096969
>well they just are i would bet money that a 2 litre turbo jetta is getting more mpg on an identical commute to a 5.5l slk55
>a 2 litre gets better MPG than a 5.5
That would happen regardless of a turbo
Funny you should mention that though, I had a Mk3 Focus ST about 6 years ago and that wouldn't crack 30mpg average unless it was all motorway. If I did mostly town or B road driving it'd be closer to 26/27. Golf R I managed about 30 average but that was remapped and I drove it like a mad cunt so that makes sense.

All the jealous freaks crying about how I was going to have my Universal Credit and PIP taken away and forced to go to work, where are you now??? Hahahaha

NEETchads stay winning, wagies stay seething x

Pov?

>>212097151
Yes

Fucking hell, they've only gone and made a show about sacked tranny

>>212097111
:3

Just made a deposit in the goonsock

>>212097220
>where are [they] now?

Probably at work or enjoying time with their loving wives and children, in the homes that they own.

>>212097198
Personally I want the money to go out of my account immediately and not having to add things to my monthly expenditure. Also you don't need to juggle five credit cards to get your credit rating up for a mortgage, it's a complete myth, all you need is to not have bad credit.

>>212097231
Stubborn mf, die. I will meet you in hell?

thread has been full of newly arrived to 4chan 14 year olds lately
when will it end

only fucking wednesdnay and im already desperate to get rat arsed ffs
want to inject beer into my veins

>>212097205
>COON Tasty
What are the other types of COON?

Useless body you filth?

>>212097241
>Personally I want the money to go out of my account immediately and not having to add things to my monthly expenditure.

You can pay with the CC then just settle the balance on the credit card immediately. You're not obliged to make the minimum payment spread over several months.

>Aussies eat processed cheese slop slices like the yanks
State of them

>>212097261
there's a sharp cheddar one that i love

Blood donation. Why do you feel like shit after it then?

Exactly 6 months until Christmas Day !

>>212097240
The wagies itt are all incel losers with dead end jobs mate lmao that isn’t what their lives are like at all (hence why they seethe at neetchads like myself)

>>212097231
How does this shite get on TV?

>>212097280
coon cheese is literal normal cheese just sliced and packaged, it's not the grim american plastic kraft slices that homer ate 64 of and went blind

Rebel?

>>212097303
Are you sure? It looks very processed

happy days... happy days

Give me a handjob, sir.

>>212097321
>let me tell you about your country
yes im sure you blithering idiot

it’s been 8 months since my ex girlfriend broke up with me

>>212097297
I'm the lad from earlier on £850 a month living on the poverty line. I've nothing against NEETs and bennymaxxers. If you can get it, fair play to you.

so easy to wind people up on /v/

>>212097231
That description is pure AI sloppa
Clown world is here forever

Momento.

>>212097321
Looks like normal cheddar type cheese in squares, you can get packs of it at any supermarket here too. Great for cheese on toast and sandwiches.

>>212097344
easier on pol. Say anything they dont like and you will get 100 posts minimum

>>212097231
>jordan gray
remember when he got his knob out on tv and played piano with it

>>212097338
I'm not convinced

>>212097346
youd think it would have learnt to not use double hypens by now

Good way to go.

>>212097362
not my job to convince you though is it #done

>>212097343
Thanks lad, appreciate it. How do you only get £850 a month, isn’t that below minimum wage? My rent is £1,000 a month alone.

>>212097382
hiiii :3

>>212097380
I only work 16 hours a week, though sometimes do the odd bit of overtime. My rent is £350 to the council.

>>212097353
for me its two slices of sharp cheddar coon on a toasted vegemite sandwich

The tranny in that show Transaction that was posted about earlier is a “transbian” that also does stand up and he literally gets naked on stage with his cock hanging out as part of his routine. Definitely needs a hard drive check.

right well now we're all here shall we get started?

>>212097357
its sad doing it on pol because you just know its only actual boomers, underaged edgy kids and the proper brainwashed doilems, aka people who dont know any better. with v the stakes are lower and i dont feel as guilty

>>212097342
ever shag her up the arse?

>>212097413
get some chicken salt on there

>>212097397
£350 is mental didn’t know it was possible for rent to be that low. What part of the country do you live in?
>>212097413
Yeah I could fuck with that

>>212097437
fuckin christmas turkey's on the loose lads

poo wank fart wanking

>>212097459
dangerous and downright stupid

>>212097415
So basically just a deranged fetishist

thoughts on jews /brit/?

>>212097466
I see it.

>>212097443
its 400 bar for council house rent in york and housing is generally weenie expensive here

>>212097421
fair assessment

I am (technically) scamming the DWP because the house I rent is a second home owned by a relative and they give me back 90% of the rent the DWP pays to them.

It makes a massive difference living in London, I have around £1500 to spend after my bills and everything each month.

>>212097479
Yeah just a pervert like every “transbian”

stomachberg going bloooip bloiip brglgrfgrfgblgrgrrrblblblb

>>212097514
might as well lad

people do what they must to get ahead in these troubled times we live in

i don't watch tranny programmes or stuff about diversity because i'm not the target audience

fart poo wank pooing wank poo wank fart wank poo wank fart poo wank

>>212097548
Agreed, I feel a bit guilty about it sometimes but I know thousands of wogs do it and leech of the system and at least I am white British and I’m spending it here not sending it all home to Pakistan or Nigeria.

>>212097560
i do because i am lol x

>>212097548
My mrs's dad has about 16 houses and a lot of his tenants get housing benefit
He was on about lazy cunts on dole in the boozer, told the fat git he's basically on benefits and it's just other people's

>>212097514
every other cunt on the planet is coming here and scamming the mong government so why not you.

poo fucking fart poo wanking

>>212097611
Diego is typing…

>>212097611
>told the fat git he's basically on benefits and it's just other people's

yeah in your mind. Sat there quiet as a mouse then piped up "haha yeah", you spineless mollusc

>>212097635
This is how I see it. My choices are keep doing this, or get a job (I have no qualifications) and live on the poverty line

>>212097604
Mate loads of white people do it. Mrs's uncle is on PIP because he's a lazy bastard and ate+boozed himself into being an immobile amorphous blob at 65 years old, and a lass I know who works full time is on PIP because of a car crash 5 years ago. She's totally fine, just uses the money for bits for her baby because her husband's a dosser

>>212097644
as opposed to a mollusc with a spine?

>>212097365
>double hypens
Need you replaced with AI

>>212097658
>Rorke thinking the people on his council estate are “everyone”

https://www.openbible.info/topics/landlord
Sadly this is proof Diego will be burning in hell for all eternity. I don't believe in hell so I won't be there.

>>212097604
>>212097635

That's what it boils down to. If the system permits it then it's a bad system and it's the system that is to be blamed, not the people exploiting it. People will always try to game it for their own gain, it's human nature. The task, as a forward thinking white man, is to design systems that are robust enough to prevent fraud.

might go for a melancholic walk in the rain like the opening scene to mgs2 where snake's walking across the george washington bridge

>>212097632
Beautiful white woman

>>212097703
modern neoliberal ineffective governments are 100% reactive. this abuse needs to happen to create change because otherwise they wont do a single thing to improve it.

>>212097696
Diego is a biblical literalist so if the bible doesn’t literally say “being a landlord is bad” he won’t believe it

im liable to do something silly

What were they talking about

>>212097362
australians don't know anything about food, you know this
they have no idea what they're eating

it's easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of heaven isn't it

>>212097773
Starmer saying Arsenal should sign Gyokeres, Trump saying he heard from an itk on Twitter that they’re in for Isak and they’re going to break the transfer record to get him

>>212097632
Safe.

love Matcha but it costs £5 a cup to get it done professionally and I'm not intelligent enough to do it myself
I'm a failure

Followed through on a fart ffs
Had to bin my boxers

>>212097792
would like to think this is bait but its obviously just full blown blind arrogance and retardation knowing your kind

>>212097832
have done this three times in the past few years

>>212097724
I dunno what change looks like though. You can cut people off but the result is millions of people who last month were fed, watered and homed but now aren't.

The problem is that there was never a plan and there can never really be a plan because there isn't time to transition. People just add more and more layers to the ever-growing house of cards then their 5-year tenure ends and they retire to be landlords.

>>212097847
I hate americans but hes kinda right. Your pies are dog

>>212097876
will absolutely concede yours are superior but ours are still decent, and besides that's just one facet of the rich antipodean culinary tapestry anyway

Never claimed a single state benefit or tax break
Paid my taxes all my working life, tens of thousands of pounds

>>212097872
get off the honky slop

>>212097338
Since you're a foreigner, why the fuck are you in /brit/ in the first place? Piss off you stupid cunt

>>212097913
paid in his whole life and received nothing award

do they still sing hymns in primary school assembly?
doubt it. probably have them doing bantu tribal chants or something these days

drain the system

>>212097923
/brit/ is nothing without australians and you know it

Based pro gay, socialist Muslim mayor of the western world's biggest city

>>212097874
>but the result is millions of people who last month were fed, watered and homed but now aren't.
The ultimate problem is that those millions are dependent on the state when they shouldn't be. The state should be a function of our society, not the other way around.

An easy win would be to reform the tax system so that high earners aren't absolutely battered with cliff edges and marginal rates around the 6 figure mark. The treasury loses billions from high-salary workers sacrificing their wages to avoid punitive tax traps and childcare problems. A simplified linear tax system would raise more money while enabling the most productive people in society (high earners who haven't yet accumulated wealth) to work as much as they want.

>>212097979
and dogs? oh right she's a white woman

i come from the scran down under

>>212097957
used to sit there with my head unbowed and my eyes open during the lord's prayer thinking I was a proper hard cunt

now, many years later, my contemporaries are all doctors, solicitors, engineers with wives, children and homes while I am a min-wage dosser virgin. Is it because they bowed their heads during the lord's prayer despite not being religious themselves? Perhaps.

>>212098005
how is that freddo floating
it just dont make sense

im gay nigga!

spaffing onto a petri dish

>>212098005
these went hard when i was in perth

>Sir Keir Starmer has gone against the wishes of the King by bringing forward President Trump's state visit to the UK, despite the monarch's concerns over threats to Canada
>Starmer has gone against the King's original proposal for an earlier informal visit, opting instead for a full "bells and whistles" visit in September
/brit/ meet sorted

stinking of quavers

hello friends :)

>>212098092
>alcoholic lemon
why did they name that drink after Diego??

>>212098109
done him

>>212098092
>4.5%
soft cunt

>>212098092
they had to change the hard solo name due to woke

>>212098122
wow you are so tough and manly for having high alcoholic content. Total alpha

>>212097979
The state of her face, fucking purge mask

>>212097831
wifeberg drinks matcha and uses this electric whisk thing, only takes a minute to prepare the drink

oh for goodness sake rorke! don't be so bloody stupid!

>>212098128
i remember the non alcoholic one had thing on it saying 'are you man enough' because it was sour

woke up late lol x

I'm always moping around like a sad sack that I'm lonely and I've never had sex but the reality is that I'm a very boring, unpleasant, person and people are better off without me.

i just roke up

just made a brown baby in the bog

>>212098162
We can tell

>>212098162
>I I I i'm i'm i'm me me me
SHUT THE FUCK UUUUUUUUUP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>>212098157
same lol x

we all good though lads? I worry about some of you x

>message from TD manager to get as high utilisation as possible for next 2 weeks
>I just signed a contract for another firm for a lot more money starting in september
No, I don't think I will

Time Team is a British television programme that originally aired on Channel 4 from 16 January 1994 to 7 September 2014. It returned in 2022 on online platforms YouTube and Patreon. Created by television producer Tim Taylor and presented by actor Tony Robinson, each episode features a team of specialists carrying out an archaeological dig over a period of three days, with Robinson explaining the process in lay terms.

time to stick some things on vinted

>>212098187
*does a handstand and mortar-fires a poo in a perfect parabolic arc across the thread and right down your throat*

>>212098187
a bit down in the dumps today, me

>>212098204
Yeah we know

a bloke I know is doing a PhD in one of the top business schools in the country and he's researching (this is my understanding of his explanation) the "problem" of why sometimes promoting a buzzword like "circular economy" works very well but using it still fails to attract funding to companies using that buzzword

>>212098162
Didn't know I was subscribed to boringbastard.com

>>212098197
corr

>>212098216
blog on you boring bastard

>>212098204
Dadberg would always put this on as a kid, BORING as fuck and I actually like history.

All the digs were shite, just finding something that looked like a sharp stone and being like "PHWOAAAR IT'S AN ARROW HEAD"

Boring. Boring. Boring. Wake me up when you find a sword with a precious gem in it or a human sacrifice victim otherwise you can DO ONE

>>212098204
A lot of boring episodes and the host is a bit of a spaz but its alright as far as british history shows go

>>212098210
we're all here for you, and we love you. Just waking up was a victory in of itself x
>>212098209
LMAO POO

gf does massive poos that block the toilet fairly regularly. not sure how to feel about being poomogged by a woman, it’s literally never happened to me

>>212098191
>TD
todger dysfunction?

>>212098138
I thought that was a canoe paddle

>>212098243
digging for britain was always better

>>212098243
youtube sucks but there is so many great history channels now. Love it me, the only reason id go to england would be to visit some historical sites

>>212098252
it might be more her being a retard who fills the whole bowl with paper before flushing once instead of being a multi-flush chad
t. knower

>>212098245
you can't call sir tony robinson a spaz

>>212098252
I do the same and my diet is heavy in carbs and I do shits like once every four days

ISAbros.... we up

>>212097940
yep, that's me

new
>>212098322

>>212098322

>>212098322

I just put my matcha in a bottle and shake it :)
a jar works too

>India are the first team to lose any first-class match having made 5 centuries in the game
don't know cricket
is that bad