Thread 212675054

cats are better than dogs. that's just a fact
edition

>>212673633
>>212669906
>>212669887

boobveves

Put in a request to recover my old runescape account and dick around on it…still can’t remember much about my old old account from 2006ish

Have you ever laughed so hard that milk shot out of your nose

Everyone hates goshpedo.

>>212675107
yeah your mom's titty milk

>>212675107
i've never drank milk while anything funny was happening

Cheers Friday night /cum/.

>>212675117
Unfunny kys

>>212675105
WOULD YOU LIKE TO EXPAND ON YOUR CRITIQUE, GIVE US THE *URBAN* POINT OF VIEW?

blasting steely dan out my window at 11PM

>>212675054 (OP)
Tulachi

We're about due for another McVeigh moment. I can sense it.

>>212675113
now this is a good post

I can't help it, I loved the arrogant robbers spitting every sort of prejudice and hate speech with every single word in Dragged Across Concrete too damn much

Jason is perfectly adapted to his environment.

His small, weak frame and low bone density reduce his weight meaning fewer calories are needed to sustain him.
His greasy mop of hair provides thermal insulation to retain heat in his head (primary source of heat loss).
He has lost all natural sex drive so the complete lack of female attention is no longer a problem for him.
His brain has shrunken to 1/4 the size of a regular human, meaning he requires virtually no mental stimulation and can simply "exist" the same way a deer stands in a field for 8 hours chewing grass.
His thin, claw like fingers are perfect for grasping and piercing greasy foods like tater tots and red meat. His rodent-like teeth can gnaw through these foods easily, and a steady consumption of Coca Cola progressively rots them allowing him to continuously sharpen their edges.
His pale, almost translucent skin is a product of never seeing the sun and so pigmentation is utterly unnecessary (much like deep sea creatures who are almost completely transparent).

Jason is, by all accounts, living proof of evolution.

>>212675137
turn that jungle music down just until we're out of town

bloodshot eyes from hardcore gaming

>>212675165
TIMES ARE HARD YOURE AFRAID TO PAY THE FEEEEEEE
so you find someone wholl do the job for freeeeeee

i haet yself

>>212675166
wat gaym

bloodshot penis from hardcore gooning

from now on im not doing anything ever again

How about Timothy McGay and he drives a van full of poppers into the government's ass

>>212675183
darktide

People who think the lives of pets are more important than the lives of humans are mentally ill and dog obsessed faggots need to kill themselves

>>212675194
Netflix could make this happen, we could get Bret Gelman to play Timothy

11 years since high school and still in the parents basement playing my old 3ds xl

>>212675194
I read a whole ass book on the OKC bombing. I've got a few more too that I haven't got around to yet.

>>212675211
is the life of a rescue dog that saves people who get pulled out to sea by undertows less valuable than an african rapist who cuts off peoples' heads?

>>212675211
IF I HEAR A RAT, A MOUSE, EVEN THE TINIEST MOSQUITO MOVE IN THERE, YOU'RE RINGING ALLAH'S DOORBELL!

In bed reading a book.

>>212675209
40k/darktide is worse than Fantasy/vermintide(endtimes shit, but close enough) because it has urkelkin.

ayo this nigga aaaaaahhhhhhh
rading a book

>>212675211
I'd save a single stray dog and let billions of goshkin and xeets die painfully.

>>212675209
oh that games is good, shame there isn't more content
i beat auric damnations and then quit because i didn't want to do the havoc grind
now i play hd2 because it actually releases new content sometimes

>>212675258
and then id kill the dog!

If I saw Jason irl I'd probably fucking haymaker his bitch ass on sight

>>212675223
OKCupid got bombed?!

jason is a paedophile because he is gay and gays are highly overrepresented among child molesters

there are many news reports of gay men raping boys that they "adopted" (purchased)

>>212675211
What color is the humans skin?

>>212675223
what is this about? psychobabble where she pretends to know how his mind worked or something?

Jason carries a gun and has the legal right to shoot and kill stalkers in self defence as they'd present a credible threat to his life

>>212675273
youre a pedophile

>>212675287
No one actually wants to harm Jason though, he's a resident lolcow. He's far more likely to harm himself using one of those cheap firearms his stepdad keeps in the house. Jason is the reason Red Flag laws exist.

I don’t get why dog owners literally mourn hysterically when their dog dies. Just buy a new one lol

Enjoy prison, stalker child.

>>212675305
Because my dog loves me and I love her

How about Red Fag laws and the police do a no knock raid when someone reports someone else is being a faggot

*takes one swig of wine*
wow, this tastes awful
*continues drinking*

>>212675305
My father still mourns the cat that died five years ago….

>>212675235
Who is this character

why is this guy obsessed with dogs like who was even talking about dogs are you some kind of furry or something lol

Notice how the thread is full of brown people seething about Jason while he's reading isekais and eating doritos all comfy in his bed?

>>212675329
Jason we all know this is you

>>212675316
She doesn’t “love” you. She attached to you because you feed it

>>212675331
I know you know, that's why it was funny to post

>>212675327
There's a dog-hating guy who hangs out in /metal/ who rants about Freemasons and pitbulls. We call him Hector.

>>212675303
>This is a 8mm cheap beretta knockoff. It can probably fire 16 rounds before blowing up in my face. I know what you're thinking. Will he reconsider when I invite him back into our secret club. Well, you've got to ask yourself yourself one question.

>>212675331
Jason is the only person on 4chan that still samefags. Neat that he keeps the tradition alive, but sad that he keeps the tradition alive.

>>212675335
I don't even feed her, she's actually my roommates dog. She just cuddles with me everyday and greets me at the door and asks for pets and plays with me.

>>212675325
he's a stuntman who doesn't even have a proper name in the script of Dragged Across Concrete. And yet he's a better villain than Thulsa Doom!

>>212675343
grim and weird. people who lack empathy for animals are always psychopaths.

My firearms are normally priced. Idk how much a Beretta is today, I paid $500 though.

>>212675338
Mashallah what a beautiful sight

Already ate a lot today but I might make a fuck ton of rice

>>212675356
This is a very nonce-coded post I feel.

>>212675054 (OP)
New Yorkers are gay

>>212675375
???? this is how most people interact with their dogs

That wasn't samefagging, dalitleaf. Funny that you're so new you just parrot verbiage without understanding it.

>>212675382
your book looks busted

>>212675383
His "roommate's dog" is prob his neighbours' child and "playing" refers to him molesting said child.

dragged Jason's greasy ass out of hiding again award

>>212675403
It's a Rottweiler

DRUMPFtards
https://youtu.be/VTyGeA4RL9Y

>>212675324
that was a nice cat though

>>212675382
Nice mattress bro.

Major catfag cope ITT

i heart empathy
may randomly start talking about empathy

Haha no one watches these

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ayMze2qoKvc
...yeah!

>>212675419
libtards have ruined empathy. all it means now is they're soyjacking over something stupid again

>>212675426
Oops why did I crop out the title
Sorry guys I'm too high right now

Jesus Christ died to save the Palestinians from their sins and He feels deeply for their plight.

I revealed myself before that, dalitleaf.

I'm closing my 4chan app and reading "I'm the evil lord of an intergalactic empire" now.

>>212675393
I have had it since I was 13 bro I am 22 now

SHOULD I EAT MORE FOOD

Jason will continue to monitor this thread for any mention of his name, he hangs on my every word and fervently scans for my posts. He is my little pet, my concubine.

>>212675450
why is that girl chained up...oh no

>>212675426
I only watch our QT's when its a NT game

So there's this girl that really likes me and we have fucked and all. She's hot and loaded but financially retarded. But I have doubts about her being a good mom. Her mom likes me too. What to do?

not impressive overall

>>212675468
He's your sub

>>212675454
doesnt mean you couldnt take care of it

>>212675486
Pretty much.

bros thisw wine is not going down smooth

>>212675495
What would you know?

Anyone want to get into a fart contest

>>212675477
i didnt know lady gaga or bruno mars still made music

>>212675477
>number 5 is a random techno song with an anime girl
some tiktok viral song? it's kinda shit

big fan of ass and pussy

>>212675477
YouTube Trending has been rendered completely useless in Canada ever since the massive post-covid wave of jeets into this country

>>212675508
No
Get into a "who can donate the money to me contest"

Oh my God.

>>212675474
how poor are you cause that's the key question and also what's her dad like cause he'll probably pay a certain extent to keep sweetie happy

>>212675520
So you're bisexual then

if you have a gf you need to fuck off

reddit president reddit government

>>212675530
I make 180k, soon 240 if all goes well. Her dad was like a top diplomat, retired now tho. I'm not inhering anything tho.

For being 14 years old the 3ds feels good like gaming has stagnated too much since then

>>212675526
>4'11
>looking for someone who is 6'1
umm i hope she dies

bros we are so fucking back

Michelle Zauner, aka Japanese Breakfast, is back with an album of sad songs.

>>212675548
explode yourself immediately

>>212675565
why tho?

>>212675548
eh fuck it women blow money but all of them do that and you'd have a safety net with her family. not worth overthinking it if her other qualities are good

>>212675526
>agnostic
>cross necklace
Anyways these type of girls make dating apps unbearable. Shameless whores that make you lose faith in women

>>212675549
the 3ds's library sucks ass

>>212675578
You’re rich
Eat the rich

>>212675557
>breakfast :|
>breakfast, japan :0

>>212675557
Another? Didn't she just release one?

and there are still retards out there who say anime isn't mainstream...

>>212675565
why are you giving normalfags (You)s

>>212675557
Need her to sit on my face.
She sings about face sitting in her song "Sit", so I know it's a move she partakes in

>>212675605
there's nothing else to watch on pooflix

>>212675580
>her other qualities are good
that's the thing. i have some doubts. i am not very sure rn. she pursued me, she's nice to me too. i am an introvert but she isn't so keep messing with me which is alr as long as it makes her happy. she's aggressive in bed too which is also fun. but she didnt let me kiss her the last time which made me question if she liked me at all. now I'm 100% sure that she really likes me tho

>>212675587
i come from a broken home of alcoholics. i've done everything myself.

>>212675526
I briefly dated a girl who was 4’11 as someone who’s 6’3, and it was too much of a mismatch

I wish I lived in NYC in the roaring 20s

>>212675661
that is rape

>>212675669
why does he look like that

this is what america used to be about

>>212675605
Probably because you have the choice between anime or some tranny nig worship shit

>>212675631
maybe you need to brush yo teef more, nigga

>>212675691
So true

if I keep drinking, I will surely vomit

if I DONT however, I'll have wasted this buzz

>>212675667
you'd have been a flapper girl huh

i'm so le depressed

>>212675714
I wish I had a flapper gf. Cute, carefree, optimistic, always looking for the next party

>dude I have sex all the time and I’m a normalfag and so many girls to choose from
Fuck OFF

>>212675702
what does that even mean?
also her red flags are that she's shallow and an attention whore.

>>212675647
I will eat you

>>212675671
She was the same age as me, and I didn’t seek it out. I matched with her on Tinder, and only found out about the height thing when we met up in person. It’s almost like I don’t even see women under about 5’8 in real life, which makes for a funny side effect of using the apps

>>212675739
that sounds pretty gay man

>>212675726
>>212675714
what's a flapper girl

Should I go hangout outside in my backache and run the risk of encountering a rat or opossum or even skunk?

reminder: /cum/ is a normalfriend sexhaver thread that respects women and minorities, incels not welcome
if you don't like it you can leave!!

>>212675667
The unimaginable foment of Slavic, Sicilian of Moor provenance and indeed unashamed Semitic blood roiling in the veins of what was once ancient Dutch fort-town made me lose my composure, at first screaming of niggers taking over this sacred union and latterly fainting in the brutish asiatic crowd that had replaced our fair and just assembly of Anglic puritans. Trusted burghers of the town brought me to, and yet I could not shake the hint of monstrous tentacles extending from some unfathomable depth in the starts to devour all that we hold true and deer. Verily, I was forced to depart by these grim circumstances for Providence on that selfsame day!

>>212675737
if she didn't want to kiss you maybe you SMELLED STANKY DOODOO

>>212675742
i am 5'10 and went on a date with a 5'0 girl. It felt pretty weird to me. I have bad eyesight and I dont wear glasses, she was so small I couldnt even see her properly

recieved a schizophrenic (you)

Liked a few pictures of this absolute kween and she sends me this dm lol
If I reply I won’t send shit she’ll probably block me and then ask for a 50 dollar unblock fee or something
And I’m sure not a small number of guys would oblige!!
Findom and feet have gone absolutely craycray
Women can’t stop winning

Slavcraft

>>212675765
idk that's what made me think. So I hooked up with her, stayed at her place till the next evening. I tried kissing her before leaving, she said no gave me a crappy hug and made me leave. I never asked her why but it felt pretty weird. Maybe I stank idk

>>212675761
Respects minorities???

>>212675783
Why are you awake

>>212675783
you need a hobby.

>>212675761
/cum/ would be nothing without the power of the incel

>>212675796
It’s 9am… (in three minutes)

>>212675806
Can't deny this

I still consider myself spiritually incel btw

>>212675795
we definitely don't do that in /cum/

>>212675810
Time for brekkie brekkie breakfast

drumpf btfo

TND
(Total Normalfag Death)

TGD
(Total Goshcel Death)

>>212675774
What I was describing wasn’t really about eyesight per se. More like there’s a certain height threshold below which they’re not even in my field of vision if they’re nearby, and I’m not actively looking at them. Which makes me not notice them or think about them at all.

>>212675829
sounds like an Australian electro-goth outfit from the early 90s

I have two warts on the bottom of my foot

>>212675858
Are they friends

>>212675839
*funds*

jason tier post
>>212675590

>>212675764
Unimaginably based Lovecraft LARP.

>>212675761
I can't help being an incel ;_; the word "involuntary" is in there ya know.

We love our macocao incel don't we folks

>>212675940
lol

>>212675940
yes, he's unironically one of my favorite posters

Gonna take my meds and read till I pass out.

I just physically cannot drink alcohol anymore. Drinking in excess just makes me feel completely nauseous

For me I don’t even care about the sex. It would sure be nice to lose my virginity but I just wish I had a nice girlfriend I could spend time with and play games with and go places with instead of always being alone in my room

mac the black macoco

/cum/ is a very /lit/-coded general I feel.

I'm gonna make rice

zamn
https://x.com/OliLondonTV/status/1851279736313377276

/cum/ is a very /goon/-coded general i feel

>>212676047
idk bout all that but I did just buy Blood Meridian

/cum/ is lynching

why niggas love porn so much

white women can NOT compete
https://youtu.be/aNIKZKwSjX8

>>212676096
I've read BM it's kinda overrated.

>>212675054 (OP)
Piccolisimo

I dont eat pornographic amterial

>>212676047
Im reading paradise lose and Zero K

>>212676110
https://youtu.be/3BrzwhbNk0k

>>212676137
is this a yeezy song

>>212676118
>red bowel movement

retired old fucks who swarm the mall on a saturday morning when they have the whole goddamn week to go grocery shopping need to be set on fire

>>212676137
absolute banger

somethin'forthelittlelady
somethin'forthelittlelady
somethin' for the little lady, ooh
well, it takes weight off thighs, butt, midriff, gives you dandruff!
and it finds you a job... it IS job!

>>212676144
Yeah it’s about finding his mom’s gay porn stash, and giving his cousin head

>>212676047
I come home from the post office and I find my wife smoking in her polkadot dress in the kitchen instead of making me dinner. You whore, I say, you goddamn worthless tramp, you've had other men, haven't you? Oh no, I swear I haven't, she cries, as I slap the living shit out of her. Ah, fuck it, you bitch, I say finally when she's just a shivering heap on our couch. You'd better bring me my beer!

Haven't jacked off for awhile.

>>212676178
Haha I loved the wise guys reactions when it was clarified that Vito was the one sucking dick, as opposed to getting his dick sucked

>>212676080
Bizarre

>>212676158
Why so aggressive!
Hypermarché is life

>>212676200
who the fuck's vito

>>212676239
you

There are screenshots that could end me

>>212676251
I'm not eye-talian, no

rippin on the weed vape, touchin on my penis, hanging with my /cum/bros

Jason’s future wife…!

Wtf kind of name is Sirhan Sirhan?

Anon loved his computer and his parents knew he loved his computer. Anon lived with his parents all up until he was a grown man and even after that he still lived with his parents. One day his parents recieved a note that made them worry. It said anon had grabbed a girl in the park by her skirt and that girl was not full grown. And so the sherriff paid them a visit but anon had absconded.

SSIS-026

America is evil
https://files.catbox.moe/kh3zpf.mp4

>>212676200
Lmao yeah that’s one of the funniest scenes in the entire show

Leafs and Aussoids make very similar bait threads.

(that's my Raymond Carver)

Hello /cum/padres. I haven't lurked in a while because I was grinding at work for a raise. Last time I was here this mf had just killed a cow, what's new?

>>212676282
Damn, that’s got to be the worst dating app bio I’ve ever seen

stop picking on jason.
i won't say it again.

>>212676337
did you get a raise

>>212676337
Jason and Urkel both seem to be trooning out

Does Urkel still post
Also where is that black music producer guy he was a real G

Apparently that transracial weirdo Rachel Dolezal has had to resort to making an OnlyFans lol

>>212676366
I did, now I make the equivalent to ~$39K USD a year with a lighter workload. Which is not a lot in the US but I'm doing alright, now I have more free time to funpost here.

>>212676427
why are you subbed to her?

You stupid, black, sunburnt raisin looking ass nigga

>>212676228
fuck off gramps

He said, Esau you second cousin of a monkey's uncle, will you not do what is right by your fathers and subject to the lord's? I will not, he said, and damn your father's eyes! His ancestors had come down the Mississippi, avaricious of gold and capturing slaves as they trod their path. I will not, he said, and he spoke like those that had preceded him.
(that's my William Faulkner)

>>212676427
Ya I had to check the leaks obviously
It’s funny

>>212676454
Tf is that from

*lord's will
also, he may not have used full punctuation, it's been a long time, it's 2025, nobody reads books anymore

Just ate this
The broth kind of tasted like Skyline Chili

Women are so cruel

>>212676471
Don't hold out

I have AIDS

the "dog socks" are stuck on his feet. the back ones. bad idea. "bad idea!", i said. she's gone into the bathroom to think. i keep telling her, he's not in pain, he just thinks you're pulling his foot. there are better hours. you're not starving. patience.

>>212676529
How'd you catch it?

FK would you rather live in Korea or Nippon?
Personally, I find the Koreans hotter but Nippon has better infrastructure

>>212676532
He's a bugchaser obvs

peanut butter sandwich for almost 2am snack :)

>>212676539
Do you realize both these countries will endure economic collapse within a couple decades?

>>212676554
Hopefully on toasted whole wheat bread

>>212676566
So?

>>212676428
$20/hr is not bad in plenty of places in the US, I imagine it's pretty good in mexico too plus you have more free time which is always good

i got them off! ha! i just the suckers off, no yelps, nothing. i win. oh i can't wait. perfect. slipped them off him perfectly. one-two.

The outside air smells weird

sum u anons b dummy thicc fr...

12:56 am
Cars roaring on the road
Dogs barking in the distance
Crickets won't stfu
A mockingbird is singing
Some other weird bird is singing
This is life in Los Angeles County

half of an absolut bottle down now gonna deposit some cash on the online casino and spin them slots
FUCK SELF IMPROVEMENT
FUCK SOBRIETY
FUCK NIGGERS
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY
FUCK JANITOR

>>212676337
I miss Terry. I wonder if he's struck the most dangerous game yet.

>>212676529
I remember I stopped posting to /cum/ for years, and I literally said this when I came back, just on a whim, and it got a whole bunch of (you)s

>>212676685
That other weird bird is actually just the mockingbird doing a different song.
I forgot to mention there is often the rumbling of planes and helicopters, even at this late hour

>>212676539
Idk I wouldn’t live in either country unless I had millions
But if I did it would probably be JAPAN….

>>212676726
Are you ever going back to Taiwan?

>>212676653
up past mid--night's strike
mad at all the creature sounds
glad for 4chan's /cum/

Would this be an acceptable LatinX GF for you?
Or do you have "higher" standards.
Purely based on looks.

hello I can do ten muscle ups and run a semi in less than an hour and a half
NO BITCH EVEN CARES MY NIGGA GO BACK TO YOUR VIDEO GAMES AND STFU

i hate women so. fucking much
if a woman is reading PLEASE kys now

>>212676706
you're literally me except I haven't gotten a whole bunch of (you)s

>>212676748
For vacation SURE
The GF wants to go back again lol she’s hooked

I don't keep condoms in my wallet because the only thing I'm fucking is stupid

its 4am today was decently productive. I studied for my interview a bit. I'm gonna sleep now. Gn anons

>>212676529
jason...

>>212676832
You're not supposed to keep them there anyway. That's how it goes from 100% effectiveness to 90-something.

>>212676846
i woke up at 2pm and it's 2am so means i've only been awake for 12hours

finna sleep at 7am

>>212676832
Back in school we had this fat guy in our friend group. Great guy, good friend but very fat and obviously not very active with women but he always had a condom in his wallet lol
Thing was years old and the wrapper all fucked up but you never know when you might need it

>>212676883
condoms in wallets get tears from all the friction

This song/music video is kino of the highest order: https://youtu.be/Wn7zPdizrqk

I was literally too tired to jerk off. I guess that means it’s bed time.

>>212676956
You can do it, believe in yourself.

I wish I could be somebody else. I don’t like being me. I know, the grass is always greener and all that. I’m just sad right now.

I'm playing Valkyria Chronicles for the first time. I'm on episode 10 and not having fun desu

Though the frog in the well knows nothing of the vast ocean, the one thing it knows perfectly is the beauty of the sky.

>>212676972
I did but, but it wasn’t good. I was just forcing it, ya know?

>>212676883
i fucked a girl raw 2 weeks back

>>212677033
I feel you. Don't do it tomorrow and have a good one on Sunday, that'll make you feel better.

>>212677033
Yeah that always ends up in a bad 'gasm and sore penis
Just go to sleep and rest your tired eyes my dear
See you later~

>>212676881
i woke up at 730am, worked from home, and took naps throughtout the day

>>212677033
sometimes you just have to do it for the love of the game

>>212677050
Sounds like a good plan, I will do that.
>>212677058
Bless you, kind germany fren

>>212677048
Niiiice

just thought of an amazing reply to a post someone made last week

>>212677015
Isnt it baby version of XCOM

>>212676759
I'd stick it in her butt but I'm not dating a latinox

yesterday i had the urge to to fap but i was strong and ignored it. avoiding relapsing
really proud of that

>>212677084
Share it with the class

>>212677084
so post it. greentext the idea and reply.

>>212677084
how do you even remember posts from last week

>>212677171
why were you so boring, my nigga?

Catberg just farted in my face.

>>212677135
>>212677137
it's too complicated to explain the context but basically my reply would have been putting forth the scenario of affordable housing projects being destroyed by a volcanic eruption
>>212677141
I remember some posts from years ago

>>212677183
i'm just a boring guy overall mostly coz I work too much

>>212677227
tell her mom about the time catberg farted on some doods face

300,000 year old human fossils found in Morocco, pushing back our origin by 100,000 years

>>212677241
that would be quite a weird thing to say. her mom was pretty introverted too so we got along well

I liked MacGyver as a kid, it was very comfy.

>>212677106
I haven't played XCOM games but I guess it's similar although not isometric. I thought I'd like it because I like NIS SRPGs and FF Tactics, but I'm much better at grid movement.
>>212677227
Tell her about that time you told your manager's manager to fuck off, moms love that shit.

Last night I MacGyvered your mom

Use this for the new

>>212677327
new

time for bed

310

>>212676529
Brian…

Wish I was fucking dead