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Thread 214459502

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Anonymous Brazil No.214459502 [Report] >>214459541 >>214459663 >>214460077 >>214462776 >>214462991 >>214463234 >>214465288 >>214465300 >>214465313 >>214467030 >>214467830
Jesus was a palestine pedophile schizo with a God complex.
>Every one of Jesus’ apostles besides Peter was underage (neaniskos is the Greek word used)
>When a woman questions why he hangs out with kids he says “don’t scandalize me”
>Tells these boys he will make them “fishers of men”
>Goes into upper rooms and washes their feet while naked
>Tells them to “eat his flesh and drink his haima” (if you think this means “blood” here, see Ezekiel 23:20)
>Is arrested in a public park at 4am with a naked boy (see Mark 14:51-52)
>When the cops show up he says “why do you come for me with swords and clubs like I’m some kind of leistes”
>The word leistes, which gets translated as “thief” is actually “pirate” and was used in contemporary texts (many examples such as Lucian’s Alexander) to refer to sex traffickers
>Sex trafficking was a big problem in the Mediterranean and one of the big things the Romans did was crack down on the pedo pirates. Julius Caesar himself was kidnapped by them as a kid and afterwards had them all crucified
>Jesus Christ was in fact crucified between two other leistes
There's a reason Jesus's "Most Beloved Disciple" is always depicted as a beardless boy whereas the rest of his followers had beards. Dude liked em young.
Anonymous Brazil No.214459541 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
The temple tax
In Exodus 30:14-15, Jewish law states that every male over the age of 20 is to pay a half-shekel as census offering when they visit the temple of God. In Matthew 17:24-27, Jesus instructs Peter to “fish up” this tax. Peter finds a shekel in the mouth of the fish he catches; enough to pay the tax for two men, himself and Jesus. You could conclude that the others were underage and did not need to pay.

The use of the term “little ones”
In Matthew 11:25, Luke 10:21, and John 13:33, Jesus calls his disciples little children; a bit insulting if they were adults.

They were unmarried
We learn that Peter had a wife when Jesus healed his mother-in-law (Matthew 8:14-15). In those ancient times, a Jewish man receives a wife after the age of 18. Again, no other disciples’ wives are mentioned. You could deduce then, that they were unmarried, hence under the age of 18
Anonymous United States No.214459663 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
>>Is arrested in a public park at 4am with a naked boy (see Mark 14:51-52)
kek
this is so fucking funny to me
Anonymous United Kingdom No.214459725 [Report]
Well I'm a Unitarian so...
Anonymous Finland No.214459761 [Report]
at my local church the apostles are depicted as kids
Anonymous Indonesia No.214460077 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
good morning sir
Anonymous Mexico No.214460352 [Report]
Thanks for the bait now I'll be angry for the rest of the day
Anonymous Serbia No.214462492 [Report]
Was fun reading this
But none of them were real people anon
Anonymous Germany No.214462776 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
Brazilian muzzdog can't go one day without seething about Christianity
Anonymous Brazil No.214462807 [Report]
Least Jewish thread on the log
Anonymous Portugal No.214462821 [Report]
>Mark 14:51-52
>A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.

43 Just as he was speaking, Judas, one of the Twelve, appeared. With him was a crowd armed with swords and clubs, sent from the chief priests, the teachers of the law, and the elders.

44 Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: “The one I kiss is the man; arrest him and lead him away under guard.” 45 Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 The men seized Jesus and arrested him. 47 Then one of those standing near drew his sword and struck the servant of the high priest, cutting off his ear.

48 “Am I leading a rebellion,” said Jesus, “that you have come out with swords and clubs to capture me? 49 Every day I was with you, teaching in the temple courts, and you did not arrest me. But the Scriptures must be fulfilled.” 50 Then everyone deserted him and fled.

51 A young man, wearing nothing but a linen garment, was following Jesus. When they seized him, 52 he fled naked, leaving his garment behind.
Anonymous United States No.214462991 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
youre a faggot whose worms has reached their brain
Anonymous Brazil No.214463234 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
Jesus just like MJ did nothing wrong and the jews hated them for it
Anonymous United States No.214465149 [Report]
bump
Anonymous United States No.214465288 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
does this mean jesus was a top?
Anonymous United States No.214465300 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
Shalom
Anonymous United States No.214465313 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
New antichristian psyop just dropped
Anonymous United States No.214467030 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
yes he was
Anonymous United States No.214467038 [Report] >>214470776
this might be the funniest thing I ever read on 4chan
Anonymous Brazil No.214467830 [Report]
>>214459502 (OP)
Aiaiaiaiai
Anonymous United States No.214469579 [Report]
bump
Anonymous Brazil No.214470776 [Report]
>>214467038
Faghot
Anonymous United States No.214470853 [Report]
based thread