Thread 214532662

every day I fight a battle between staying a normal person and schizoing out completely
every day I get closer to losing it

happens iyc?

>>214532662 (OP)
Ever seen that Swedish movie where the girl fucks her brother and then gives into a spider demon

been there and done that
i had horrific nightmares, i was afraid of looking at myself for too long in a mirror and suffered from sudden anger bursts that left me exhausted
eventually it all faded away but i think it was a pretty close call

>normal thoughts
>normal thoughts
>SUDDEN MEMORY OF SOMETHING DISMISSIVE MY MOTHER SAID TO ME TWO MONTHS AGO WHICH TRIGGERS A HALF-HOUR FANTASY ABOUT SCREAMING AT HER AND KILLING MYSELF
ha ha imagine living like this

>>214532662 (OP)
See the psych doctor, take your meds.

>>214532791
> See the psych doctor, take your meds.

>>214532662 (OP)
yes I consider giving up and going full schizo all the time

why contain it?

How bad do you think your schizo version of yourself is? school shooter tier?

>>214533537
Dirlewanger tier

>>214532662 (OP)
Can you give a hypothetical example of schizoing out completely?

>>214532959
Posted the wrong image

>>214533571
taking all my money
starting a merc guild
fighting in 'kraine or somehwere else

i did the math, I could run a platoon for about half a year with the money I currently have
and most of those ""international legions"" are only 100 to 200 people, even the high quality ones so it wouldn't even be that small

only thing why I am not yet 100% in on this yet is because I still kinda want to become a CS-Teacher (starting my CS Master in February) and the sure as hell won't take someone like this

i know all of this sounds borderline insane, like some dream a highschooler would have but whatever

>>214533701
> inb4 waaa imagine fighting for jews
this is not about 'raine
i don't really care for them, in fact I kinda feel sorry for the average mobnik and thing they are pretty much the same people
but a change via democracy will not happen in my country, or, for that matter, anywhere else so the only way is to Beerhall 2.0 (but sucessfully)


btw. in case any FED is watching. I am currently severly intoxicated so you can't sue me

>>214533701
also I guess some less schizo version of this would be that sometimes I get the urge to destroy things while walking to the store

like smashing car windows because I get sudden attacks of rage

I'm not close to schizoing out, just close to giving up my job and staying in bed for depression

>>214533988
don't do it sir
you do this step and suddenly 5 years go by
never do nothing

what is so bad about your job? have you considred going part-time?

The only thing that is keeping me from going insane is stoicism. I tried buddhism but I feel like it can lead you to become even more out of touch with the world

>>214533701
pussy, go after your policy makers. You're no schizo just normalcattle larping for (You)'s.

>>214532791
This in no way made it any better. Actually when I finally got a doctor I had to wait another 6 months because she got pregnant

>>214534140
Buddha himself turns me away from everything Buddhist.
>I have experienced everything I could ever want or ask for
>now I dont like it anymore
>and neither should you

>>214533571
>>214533537
Least obvious feds

>>214535512
kewab
never looked at it this way
what a fag