Thread 214683642

No Aldi scum edition

Just paid my rent and now only have £24 in my bank account

>>214683642 (OP)
This edition is hateful towards /brit/'s greatest poster, Employed Woman :(

37 and on my 3rd year of college and my 3rd course, still haven't passed maths, still don't know what to do with my life, still look like a freak when talking to people, but mumberg and dadstein don't want me to be a NEET so I'm stuck doing a course I hate.

>A Countdown champion is set to stand trial accused of stabbing a fellow contestant at a meet up of former players of the Channel 4 game show in Blackpool.

>John Cowen, 30, is accused of attacking Thomas Carey at the event in September 2024. Emergency services were called to reports of an assault in Horby Road at 11.35am on September 14.

>Mr Carey was taken to hospital and Cowen was arrested on suspicion of wounding with intent and possession of a knife. He denies the charges and will stand trial at Preston Crown Court today (Tuesday September 9, 2025).

>It is understood both men had been at the annual event for winners of the popular Channel 4 TV show before the alleged attack.

aw shucks

I agree that the average age here must be below 25 and is mostly people joking about how bad their lives are

Gimmick idea: Employed Man. A female-to-male tranny who works at M&S

need to go back and get an education in my mid 20s so it's always depressing hearing about teenagers who are far ahead of me

succ

When I was 19 I was young, dumb and full of rum

>>214683703
Rorke vs leftypol irl

Back from the jobcentre. Went fine the lady was nice also a bloke on the next table was kicking off which was distracting.

>>214683727
I might do this yeah

When I was 19 I had the hottest girl at school in my bed

cheddar cheese !

Going to meet a girl on the weekend
She's 11 years older than me

>>214683703
it's like that episode of it crowd innit

When I was 19 I was pug ugly and a massive misogynist and women (understandably) avoided me like the plague

the definitive poll
https://strawpoll.com/PKgleYNQQZp

>>214683800
you dog

>>214683800
>Going to meet a girl on the weekend
>She's 11 years old

>>214683800
corrrrrrr get in there lad bag a proper mommy milf gf get in there my son

>get an education

alrigh grandad it's the big 25, a computer program can produce better work right now than your best effort upon completion of a university degree 4 years from now. Yeah in nineteen canteen it was worth going to university. It means nothing now.

>>214683703
Inside of you there are two Jon Richardsons

im beginning to feel like a big chungus

>>214683810
this but it's continued throughout my life

>>214683812
>unc status
Fuck off man, just fuck off. I don’t need this shit

Easiest way to farm (you)s is to make /brit/posters feel old

2 hours into the calorie counting I'd kill for some pork sausages right now

bye all
I am much too hungry. got to go trot down to the shops for grain

>>214683812
>>214683846
/brit/ is an unc general

>>214683921
this, it's younger at the moment because all the (successful) uncs are at their high paying office jobs

black people love talking about dey weenies and yt wumens n shiet and then inserting their shitty low IQ words

it's pretty funny how i read here that nepal was banning all social media a few days ago and thought nothing much of it, and now they're having a revolution kek

>>214683967
Turns out it wasn't about banning social media at all, it was about massive government corruption

>>214683999
oh
now i feel stupid instead of amused

Found a tiny bit of residue of coke on my key that was stuck on there from the weekend. Unstuck it with a toothpick. Leftovers!

>>214683826
maybe it's better to have a society of educated people rather than non-educated people... just maybe

lot of nonces on reddit. there are hundreds of similar comments saying children should be allowed to dress that way if they want. some even make a point of saying her boobs will probably slip out fully, and even end up photographed and posted online, but that that's not a big deal because there's lots of porn online already.

>>214683703
>looks like a muzlim paki rapist
>acts like a muzlim paki rapist

>>214684032
Too many people going to university for nothing is the problem

>>214684044
um

>>214684078
uni makes you fit for the 21st century workforce thoughbeit

>>214684078
alright I'll get an apprenticeship then, then I can earn money and get trained at the same time!

>big bad villain kills one of their henchmen because something of something the henchman had no control of
Hate when this happens

>>214684032
'University' now means nothing, it's diluted. To have an actually educated society we need the next level, we need Super Universities

>>214684107
Unironically better

>>214684058
"allowing" is such a gay frame
the trick is to not find yourself in that situation in the first place

>>214684095
If you're serious this is a very out-of-touch mindset

>>214684115
Knew what they signed up for didnt they.

Belle Delphine has reverted to islam

And Canslad?
Well he'll be studying the Classics and writng great eassays about these fine Canslasses
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beer_goddess

>>214684143
how so?
if i was hiring for a knowledge role i'd rather choose someone who has proven they can write an essay and sit an examination to a standard, rather than somebody who left school at 18

I have 5 rubber ring psyducks already

>>214684138
women innit

>72.73% unc stat
>not even in prime unc posting hours
ROARING
Old ahh general

got my bum in the air

>>214684234
playing a game of heads up bums down are we?

a university degree is absolutely still necessary for any office job that isn't low level admin

>>214683747
>When I was 19 I was young, dumb and full of rum
Almost like your mum

>>214684174
A lot of people go to university now, it's not that special. If you were looking to hire someone and that role hasn't already been made redundant by AI then I'm sure you'll have an absolute deluge of people wanting the job and then you have to judge by their own experience, i.e. what they've done unrelated to university

>>214684234
sexo *starts dry humping u*

>>214684201
why are they so fucking stupid and disingenuous?
everybody knows the reason they don't want their daughter to wear that stuff is because they'll look like a tart desperate for attention, it has nothing to do with body shame

>>214684249
Not really, lad
Not in IT - I've been a sysadmin level consultant for a while and never needed a degree
Or actually meant anyone in IT support/infrastructure who had a degree that wasn't a miserable cunt who couldn't make it as a programmer

Least geriatric unc posting on /brit/

got a degree in English Language and then became a C# programmer years later from self-teaching

Got a degree in feminist zoology and now I'm manager of my local Morrisons.

>>214684279
IT is low level runt work though, having a degree is the only way to move beyond that

>>214684256
your argument implies that there is no different between the pre education state and the post education state.
at uni i didn't really just focus on work skills, i learnt philosophy was, theory of critical thinking, while doing team sports. i created a network of intelligent friends. ive seen the other path and idk what the benefit of that could be

>>214684278
the lad's an actual nonce mate. notice how he started writing his post and then in the middle of it done the fucking homer simpson "d'oh! nuts! ...doughnuts mmmm doughnuts" drooling thing. He managed one paragraph before he started writing fantasies of her tits falling out AND someone getting it on camera AND posting it online for the world to see AND then talked about her wearing revealing bikinis.

Got a degree in wanking, almost 90 percent

you now remember the AI asian bride arranged marriage profile spam

>>214684339
>IT is low level runt work

Tell that to me the next time I officetoil for about 30 minutes, netflix toil for 6 hours and take a 90 minute toilbreak while making €550 a day

>Be you
>Rambling on about Motability, benefits, ILR and whatever else
>Me: "Is that you aff tae Tommy's Tantrum on Saturday with the other gammons?"
>*everyone at our table in Wetherspoons erupts with laughter*
Honestly, think about this for a bit. How do you reply without sounding mad?

>>214684207
prefer it this way makes me feel more youthful

>>214684384
I dont because im already over-analysing it and getting paranoid that youre talking about me...

>>214684370
how does one achieve this?

>>214684370
you know full well you're the exception to the rule, most IT workers are failed normies and jeets

uh oh. Making that emergency alert a bit more ominous.

heard a fly right next to my ear earlier and my ear has felt uncomfortable all day. not sure if it got in my ear

>>214684201
I think for a 17 year old it's a bit wrong because they're not an adult. If she was 18 then it would be up to her, not the parent

>>214684384
>>Me: "Is that you aff tae Tommy's Tantrum on Saturday with the other gammons?"
Think the Scots needs to be even more obnoxious if you really want to generate a laugh online
>Is that ye aff tae Tommy's Tantrum on Saturday wi' th' other wee bawbags?

>>214684447
haha they're so crazy I can't help but love them a little bit

>>214684447
shut the fuck up pol

>>214684417
>click on "reply to post"
>move your mouse to the "comment" box and click
>make up a schedule and write it down
>click "get captcha", wait 2 minutes and solve the captcha
>click on the "post button"

>>214684447
what does someone do with a rabid animal that won't stop biting people?

>>214684463
worth noting that the dress is being bought for a school formal/prom/deb whatever it's called where you are. so it's going to be on a school premises too.

>African walks into your house
>Kills your entire family
>Screams "fuck yt people"

How do you respond without sounding mad?

my god not... *checks notes* qatar oh my god. I can't believe it, things are happening right now in *checks notes* Nepal this is unbelievable these are the end times surely the world will never be the same

>>214684417
Step one
Be Canslad
That's it

But more accurately: be a likeable cunt, realize quicky that people are retards who are scared of computers, lie about working parttime IT for a computer repair shop (can say it closed during covid/went out of business recently) and that the person was an Indian and moved home so you don't have a refrence. Be actually able to troubleshoot and prove it
Just be alikeable cunt after that and keep charging more

>>214684444
Not really. It's what you make of it. Most level 1 or 2s just don't know how to be likeable.

>>214684479
Begin with your family.

>>214684489
shut the fuck up pol

>>214684489
Imagine if the roles were reversed!

>>214684474
get him mousey were all sick of them

>>214684467
>th' other
That's an English practice of clipping "the"
This doesn't occur in Scotland

>>214684490
shut the fuck up pol

>>214684201
Absolute mad lads

They're raising the zig-zag flag of revenge.

de oder wee bawbags

have a pretty cosy job that pays decent but reckon I could be doing so much more with my unique and brilliant mind

>>214683790
Amazing post ngl

Have literally not met, seen, or heard anyone except jews express a pro-israel stance on the current conflict
Mental that the world is watching this happen in disgust and no country is doing anything meaningful about it (ie sanctions at the very least)
Why do governments seem so disconnected from the sentiments of voters on the israel issue? It's like polar opposite stances
Is there something in the salt?

they took our jerbs

>>214684447
Ah yes the Jews are now bombing all of their neighbours within 2500km

>>214684518
report them for off-topic

>>214684517
Dinnae ask

>Why do governments seem so disconnected from the sentiments of voters on the israel issue?
err yeah I wonder why haha

gallons and gallons of liquid filth spewing from my rear end

>>214684544
Israel understand that by the laws of random chance eventually hamas will be able to drive halfway into the country.

>>214684540
Wish I had a gf like this but alas I'm an incel

>>214684574
What haven't I to ask?

>>214684544
Hmmm i wonder

>>214684544
>Why do governments seem so disconnected from the sentiments of voters on the israel issue?
Because the entire world is controlled by the Jewish people indirectly or directly outside of Iran.

>>214684447
bros... whats their end game?

all the jewish people i know are nice but the media tells me to hate them

>>214684589
Shes a dear isnt she

business idea: adblock that works for 3 seconds on a website before turning off and loading ads
3 seconds to scroll and look at the article to see if its gay and retarded or actually has any info at all

The only jobs worth doing are at big corporations that give you status and help you FatFIRE.

You need to be on this track by age 18 at the latest.

Other than that you NEED to start a business. It's low status (since anyone can start a business) but could give you a good amount of freedom. It might even become high status if your company is successful (never going to happen).

any feckless 25 year old man in

>>214684506
?????

>>214684597
>Border control given the most
Lmao

>>214684624
I couldn't do FIRE
I'm too obsessed with walking into rooms and having people tell me how great I am

sex with cats

>>214684597
crazy how cheap is actually is to dictate gov policy
crazy how this is even legal

>>214684622
very droll

mummy gives me $13k a year for investing

>>214677174
cvs who tf up lol

>>214684677
Well this is a cul de sac so fuck off

>>214684672
In America there's another 0 on the end of those bribes so even the politicians in the UK are poor hence Keir married into the tribe

anyone got that picture of the woman talking about a book about a fae who berates the reader

>>214684666
leaving through a fire exit must be your own personal hell; involves leaving a room instead of entering, and fire

Pokemon Go growing up event. with I was there

>>214684672
>donate 50k to politician
>get £10million contract
>Profit

you woul fuck a hypno if Pokemon were real. daterape drug captive by obsessed girl RP Pokemon

stopped playing pokemon go after they started bringing in new generation pokemon or foreign bastids as i call them

girl drugs you and gaslights to talk

>>214684737
>you woul fuck a hypno if Pokemon were real
Well the entire point is the can hypnotise so I imagine nobody would have a choice

>>214684447
they're just defending themslves

i cant be hypnotised im too strong

>>214684777
but its ok because sabrina can also do it!

I dont get it where a girl pretends to give a shit and have a "favorite" Pokemon (one of the cute ones), but a guy says he HATES that Pokemon
obviously they are right and im wrong but if they cared enough to pretend about one Pokemon, and catches it, does events, then you are like I hate that Pokemon?

Watched the Darren Brown thing where he was meant to hypnotise you via live TV so you couldn't get up out your chair but it didn't work and I stood up fine.

>>214684798
hypno isnt real
hypnotism?

>>214684824
oh yeah haha

>>214683782
>19
>school
>'
?

>>214684824
Strong mind

>>214684798
>transitions after gooning to sissy hypno
not so strong now, are you?

obliterate israel

grown men coming here every day to talk about pokemon

got ketamine?

love you

>>214684824
man on the telly made you stand up yeah? youre so smart. you didnt just bridge the gap and kings pact

>>214684447
qatar will do nothing

>>214684885
SHUT THE FUCK UPPPP

shoot nigger kids

catching rubber ringy psyducks

>>214684626
hey

>>214684866
Swampert is king

kind of mental how Pokemon HQ hasnt ever had a bombing or anything with all the autistics playing it. over some random thing

I know about ZOG and International Jewry but it's genuinely amazing how Israel can bomb literally every country in the region with impunity.

why's it spelled kathmandu but pronounced katmandu

bit funny that israel just openly does all this and no one really cares
leftypol doesn't even care that israel owns every government, they just care that it's killing thirdies

>>214684931
look its drowzee using hypnosis on some woman

>>214684989
Thomas Jefferson: what?

quite literally cannot stop beating my cock. afraid if i ever spontaneously manage to find myself in a sequel situation I won't get hard

been a lot of protests lately dont you think

>>214685025
KTIM last week

if someone made a thread that was perfect except instead of /brit/ it was just brit do you reckon it would get used

>>214685052
makes wingcucks feel like they're achieving something

>>214684447
need those mad cunts out of business

>>214685025
Performance anxiety is grim, try to abstain for a few days before shagging to avoid it

>downloaded an unfiltered ai model
>decided to ask it to give me a prompt to test if it was really unfiltered
>eugenics and the concept of the White race in America and why Irish people aren't actually equal to British people

erm, well fucking played, AILad.

lads what if we are AI
i just thought of this

>>214685153
of course the irish arent equal to brits. irish are superior after all.

ERM??!???

dude wat if we were the universe experiencing itself

>>214685197
Hope she's died

>>214685199
blew my mind to hear alan watts say this when i was 19

>>214685197
i will save her

mental, isnt it, the sheer number of extinct creatures that have gone well before our time?

>realize I want to nonce Amanda Seyfried
>decide to see if there are nudes
>Amanda Seyfried has been naked on camera
>Amanda Seyfried has been part of the fappening

erm, right, I think that's wanktoil material

>>214685191
We're equal, lad. Both of us would nonce the cans

Every time i get an anxious thought i just think, pay no mind lad, pay no mind

>>214685272
and now all that's left is you, an eSTINKY creature


>>214685276
you might consider yourself equal to them, but i certainly dont.

>>214684972
*giga drains you*
oh dear........

>>214685215
nasty little boy

holy fuck

>>214685199
tbf even without us the universe already is experiencing itself, quantum mechanics shows us that the universe itself is an observer of quantum spin

>>214685377
what does that mean

THEY BOMB WHO THEY WAAAAAAANT
GODS CHOSEN PEOPLE
THEY BOMB WHO THEY WANT

>>214685336
Don't care

having a cheeky herpres breakout my shaft’s on fire

I will save her

did you know the dopamine release from the anticipation of sex is entirely different to the actual experience of the sex

why do conservative boomers love israel so much?

I will save Qatar the home of Messi's only World Cup victory

>>214685368
where are the so called ummah

>>214685435
Boomers are the most brainwashed people ever

>>214685426
makes sense given that simply finding out a girl wants to sleep with me is more exciting than the idea of actually doing it. nick mullen talks about this

>>214685426
>the actual experience of the sex
the "fucking hell my hamstrings are sore" experience

>countess of chester hospital rated 2nd worst hospital in the UK
How bad does a hospital have to be when youre worse than a hospital that an unprecedented number of children die at

lol I am gonna crash hard without alcohol

>>214685435
Never seen boomers in the UK with this view

If ye dinnae like refugees yer a wee bawbag

>>214683800
is she the one thats gonna take your vcard?

>>214685426
this goes for anything i think
i find the anticipation of cracking open a can can be more enjoyable than actually drinking it

>>214685520
Boomers are literally the only generation of brits who have an even half-way decent opinion of Israel.

>>214685557
yh

might get a tattoo and dye my hair blonde and get an ear piecing and then immediately regret each decision

do you think after death you get reborn as another person? i think i want to try i hate my life and if i hate the next life its true i can keep killing myself until im reborn into a good one

>>214685554
scottish people who type out their inane thoughts phonetically are among my least favourite people in the world

>>214685435
more of a Tommy Robinson position

Silly pigeon crashed into the window again

>>214685592
noo youre definitely in the 1% of grown men that can pull all that off

Why does leftypol call Great Replacement a myth

>>214685622
Wee bawbag detected

>>214685640
topkek

>>214685572
have fun
and repent to god for your sins

not necessarily in that order

mental how those redditors were cumming over 1M stardust "saved up"
you can get that in half a week

>>214685640
kin 'ell
never trust make up

>>214685645
this happened right before my aunty died

going tesco, want anything?

>>214685762
THE LOVELY FUCKING CANS, lad

>>214685762
yeah can you just do a Big Shop cheers

>>214685619
doesn't make a difference does it
if you don't retain your memories and it's just some abstract "soul" that continues on, then your identity and sense of self, your ego, still dies
also how does reincarnation work when the population has increased to 8 billion, where do the extra souls come from

>>214685772
you get more tedious by the day m8 dial it down a bit

>>214685640
Why are mongs still fooled by make up, filters and angles?

>>214685810
Hey I just posted in that thread

I prefer cuddling to sex

the 'berg having a relaxing lie down between naps

>>214685772
change the bleedin record

Lately I've been teaching ai pro British and anti eu facts

>>214685847
He deserves a good willy scratch for being so cute

Got my gear ready. I'm going to hunt down the Loch Ness Monster even if that's the last thing I'll ever do.

>>214685847
cor would love to tickle his tummy

>>214685767
was very disappointed by this movie. ended with the main character literally getting explicitly cucked.

>>214685835
everyone does but you can't just say it because it's gay

>214685887
we just letting every bloody non-Anglo beastfolk in nowadays eh?
someone gatekeep the fucking thread ffs!

at 38 l'm admitting defeat l cant wank more than once a day

Have you guys witnessed any crimes? Like phones being stolen, assaults, shoplifting? Haven't seen anything at all despite being in the middle of some crime pandemic. Think it's all made up tbqhwy

love hurts
so think twice before you fall for someone

3 pm

>>214685976
i tried twice a day once when i was a teenager and it was too much for me

Sir Reinhard Heydrich. An Aryan Beast.

reminder to report the Belgium flags posts, thanks

>>214685988
saw a man drive over 70 miles an hour once

>>214685943
reported for racism outside of /b/

trying to find the requirements for getting the gold swimming badge that i could never do as a kid, but can only find the adult one

screaming gay poo peng greng pooeng

>>214685988
Shoplifting is very very common now. Never used to see it at all, but now it's almost every time I go to the shops. Usually it'll be the runty chavy youth or the homeless, but I see a lot of old and middle-class looking people setting off those alarms.

>>214685988
I used to steal irl but now I just steal on the internet, hope this helps x

>>214685988
Saw a knife fight in London from my hotel room in 2021

>>214685996
your willy is 10cm long and thin

pang pang posting is seething Indians and Chineses

>>214686031
was just saying this down the local MP surgery

>>214686022
>announcing a report
enjoy your 3 days :)

>>214685921
it's a fucking dracula film mate, obviously that was going to happen you fucking idiot

How the fuck are we letting Israel get away with doing anything they want, I dont give the remotest fuck about muslims but the fact they're allowed to attack any nation on earth and do ANYTHING with impunity is an outrage

we need an international coalition formed to dismantle the state of Israel NOW

10cm short and thin gliding smoove past them hymens, still intact x

>>214686096
because they pay politicians they are extremely open about this
not sure what's confusing you

10cm not touching the sides on dem virgins x

Israel just bombed another country. Again

You vill sing again ja

>>214686128
Any proof of this lad? What's stopping Russia or Qatar or China from paying our politicians to have as much influence as Israel supposedly does then?

just see sir keir in tescos, he said everything gonna be ok

>>214686086
>announcing a report
enjoy your 3 day holiday :)

>>214686162
good its more sand niggers dead. why should I care?

>10cm... AND thin
HAHAHAHA OH NO NO NO NO!! ITS OGRE FOR ZEIDY

Wonder who the first white to be bummed by a black was

>>214686165
>supposedly does
You dont think theres an extremely large pro israel lobby group in UK and in america?

>10cm and thin
BUT I SAID THE NIGGERS DICKS IN WHITE WOMEN! PLEASE LIKE ME BASED

>>214686177
Because survivors will come here

>>214686165
mate what do you think AIPAC is

>>214686177
Rules are rules

>>214686186
No I know that it's an objective fact but the idea their lobbying has somehow created an entire deep state dedicated to serving Israel in almost every western nation upon all else seems deeply schizophrenic to me

>>214685996
kill yourself

Reckon it would be a lot easier if people farmed indoors rather than outside
Surely we have the technology by now

>>214686226
well zionists also occupy the vast majority of soft power institutions that helps too

another day of jerking my 10cm to my crushes fucking black dicks and getting bullied on /brit/. thats my life

actually so fucking sad seeing him post slight variations on the same dogshit gimmicks at any time of day or night and getting no replies (zero, zilch, nada)

Playing halls of torment meh

>>214686226
Why do you think states around the world are so supportive of Israel in spite of it being an unpopular opinion among voters?

>>214686302
zero replies, bullied. thats his life

>>214686233
not nice of you is it

Don't remember seeing this much moral outrage when Iran bombed Qatar