Thread 215926269

Thomas the Tank Engine edition

>>215926246
£4.25 now (£3.85 with a clubcard)
country is a fucking joke

looking forward to that lads post

>bake a chicken in the oven
>call it 'roast chicken'

>roast a chicken on a spit
>call it 'rotisserie chicken' as if it were some exciting foreign dish

when did english people lose touch with their history and culture?

>>215926260
wait, /brit/ doesn't like Bradleyposting any more? Not sure about this

done you with linking the old didn't I lads

>grandparents sold something to the national trust
tarq alarm going nuclear here

>>215926298
>>215926246
£4.10 at my campus Co-op.

greedy fucks increased it by 10p the day the academic years started

students still empty all the shelves by 13:15

This statistic is unique in human history. Israel has killed more journalists than ww1, ww2, Vietnam, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Libya wars combined.

>>215926293
the supermarkets have really gone hard on the loyalty cards in the last few years
you're pretty much required to have one if you don't want to get fleeced with every shop

>>215926323
good

Sipping on an ice cold bockle of Aquarius sat in front of the fan in shorts and a T shirt

Maximum comfy levels x

neoliberal teeth comping in

>>215926333
based spainGOD

on my lunch break

i don’t understand i buy this expensive face cleansers, use them, wake up in the morning and my skin is worse than it was before

>>215926309
I stopped falling for that one like 4 years ago chum

>>215926307
roto chicken is juicier and more tender than roast chicken

got all the loyalty cards me :)

best condiments for a sausage roll? have worcestershire sauce, pickled cocktail onions and sauerkraut with mine

Went on a first date with my 28 year old Hinge date. I was visibly nervous and that pissed her off because she didn't want to deal with "the unpaid labour of teaching someone how to date".

love seeing women wear these, something hot about seeing a nice pale heel and a hint of soft sole that I like

gots dem neoliberal teeths

Come out, ye black and trans

>>215926356
nothing wtf why would you want to ruin it just eat it

>>215926356
Piccalilli or onion chutney

>>215926347
pillowcase

>>215926356
peri mayo

rorke giggling during the opening of the dark knight rises

>>215926361
nah dont like these i want to see some toes

>>215926352
Learn to read, fatty

>>215926356
English mustard

>>215925975
>>215926083
oh my god shut up nobody cares
>>215926185
based

>>215926333
haven't had aquarius in perhaps years forgot that was even a drink
>>215926347
speak to a girl who does skincare they'll tell you where you're going wrong

do most of my shopping at aldi because they don't do loyalty card nonsense

bane?

would you like to hear about my experience of losing my virginity lads?

>>215926347
do the maths then lad

would anyone like to buy some 700 year old tapestry

>>215926363
neo-niggeral teeth

sorry guys it made me wait 120 seconds again ffs

right then lads, gather round
for £100 you can get a used oculus quest 2 off ebay
best £100 i ever spent, paid for itself day 1
it's mostly for kids, so no porn apps... HOWEVER
it can do an internet browser
use that to go to astalavr.com
massive selection of amazing vr pov pornography
if you don't have the best wank ever i'll eat my headset

>>215926410
not really, but I'm sure you'll tell us anyway

>>215926398
>speak to a girl

>>215926410
how long did it take the guy to cum?

>>215926368
tastes better with other things innit

>>215926369
>>215926375
not sure what these are

>>215926388
thats a decent choice

>>215926387
dont get it, they're both french loanwords

Have absolutely nothing to do at my new job
Worried they'll notice and make me redundant or something

gina yashere sex gnashers

>>215926443
bet they pay you laods

>>215926410
Yes we do!!!!

>>215926431
You reckon you're proper cool for that don't you

>>215926333
Post a pic

>>215926431
Oh go on then. So I was 16, she was .. we’ll say 16 to keep up appearances lol. She was my mates school gf, anyway we were all in the park drinking and that and everyone started to go home, I stayed behind. She came back to the park, led me behind a tree, pulled her knickers down and in I went. Blew my mind lad

>>215926463
do earn above the national average so I do

>>215926307
define roast

>>215926442
French was invented in England

Absolutely spiralling here me

>>215926465
yeah :)

>>215926434
sorry forgot where I was

>>215926477
proxy yank

>>215926473
um

>>215926358
Yh?

forgot it was saturday today

>>215926481
I did that in the post that you responded to

There one was a girl named Sue
Who took a big shit in my shoe
She was pretty but shunned the loo
Whatever is a man to do
When his girl does a very big poo
Right into his his shoe
Now my sneakers are filled with #2

>>215926495
..yh

>>215926473
Good story, sorry I doubted you

Second year apprentice at Arnold Clark took out an RS3 for a joy ride and smashed it back into the carpark

Unlucky my lid

Would love to get made redundant, no downsides really are there

>>215926402
Find lattice rather difficult. Maybe i dont have the motor skills for it

if anyone needs me I'll be with catberg inside the airing cupboard

>>215926307
fire more exciting

MEIN FÜHRER
I CAN WALK

Um Posto
dey write it on de Pembrokeshire coasto

>>215926500
no you didnt.

>>215926423
I've got one. had a VR wank once. was alright. never bothered again.

>>215926512
wtf, it looks like the entire engine block is gone

>>215926527
I CAN...
DANCE!

>>215926358
fuck me that cracked me up

wow, half a dozen replies and not a single one understanding the point of my comment. what a shame that people can't read. lol

>>215926512
wonder would he be on the hook for damage here or what

My plans for the weekend? Rubbing my little todger silly

keep yawning

>>215926527
we'll meet again
don't know where, don't know wheeeeen

>>215926438
You dont have Piccalilli in Australia?

30 more minutes of freedom what should i do WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Mad how I didn't have any theory of mind when I was a young autistic lad, so I just assumed other people thought like myself and any disagreements were because they weren't thinking logically

Then I grew up and accepted that most other people are actually retards and cowards and should be treated more like animals

might call it in

>>215926328
need to use up this beef paste
opened it last night and it says use by 13th oct

>>215926539
really?
i'm obsessed with vr now
still a little shaky from the last one and can't wait til the next one

>>215926573
poo and wank

>>215926561
ktim, browsing the latest JAV as we speak

approx. 3 hours remaining of toil for this week

>>215926573
arrive back early and wank toilberg off

get the beef pasted

>>215926580
i know what you mean mate i feel that way some times

>>215926298
Arr sersh x

do you reckon those JAV pornstars with massive tits do escort services in Japan

>>215926603
me emerging from the house every three months looking like a grotty little freak

might get on the tins and bokkles you getting on the bokkles la?

>>215926617
dont know

beeves > beavers

nth for the gyaldem

>>215926577
Took me until lockdown to realise most people don't actually think things through and have opinions of their own, they just go along with what everyone else is doing

penis goes in vagina WHICH PART DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND

>>215926617
yh I've heard some of them do. Probably aren't cheap but must be so worth it, some of those idols are walking fertility godesses

>>215926185
>>215926174
>>215926178
When the Mongols were invading eastern Europe and crushed the kingdom of Hungary in the 1240s, they had an Englishman as a translator and emissary.

His name was Robert and he used to be a chaplain for Robert Fitzwalter, one of the rebel leaders in the First Barons' War. He got excommunicated and exiled from England for taking part in that war. He left for France and joined the Knights Templar, went with them on a crusade in Egypt, then was stationed in some middle eastern fort before getting kicked out of the order for gambling. Then he disappeared for over a decade and returned with the invading Mongols.

Ultimately he got captured with a scouting force in Austria and executed. We know of him from mentions in a couple of documents and an inquisitorial report of his interrogation.

>>215926625
no
i will have one bottle of wine tomorrow with my pasta and that's it

>>215926625
nah sober October init

>>215926630
first thing i noticed was the cross

>>215926624
Love Gezzy Price me

>>215926630
harlot skank drinking her battery acid

>>215926630
needs a burger or 5

>>215926643
ol mongol bob

>>215926643
yeah not really on for a bloke to assist the mongol hordes to be fair

YOUR PENIS ANON
YOUR PENIS
IT GOES IN VAGINA
YOUR PENIS IT GOES INTO VAGINA
ARE INSTRUCTIONS CLEAR?

in JAV they're always getting shagged by ugly middle aged men. don't know how they do it

got my arse out

>>215926633
Yeah the biggest thing I learnt during lockdown and really over my entire life is that the vast majority of people are moral and physical cowards

Education level or raw intelligence didn't seem to be a major factor

you think starmer still has time to cancel that 16 year olds getting the vote thing?

>>215926657
Blessed x

>>215926672
Coke zero isn't battery acid, mong (she almost threw up after chugging a can with her sis, bless her )

>>215926692
Kate's streamed making tasty treats with her sis, she's fine

>>215926722
'

>>215926717
timmy receiving these instructions shouted over a headset as he's having sex the the first time akin to those films where there's a guy shouting for the bomb defuse to not cut the red wire but the blue wire

>>215926737
maybe the vast majority of people simply don't care about the same dweeb shit you do

Do you go to your local fish and chips shop

>>215926763
Lab-Green coalition in 2029 hun.

>>215926722
peng

>>215926770
lol

>>215926763
>The most educated people in the country are voting Green
>More importantly, the most educated people in the country are NOT voting Reform
Wow, colour me shocked

>>215926763
why are young people so stupid

screeching

porn folder deleted. spiritual cleanliness is being gained

deary me rorke

>>215926763
>More youngsters voting Tory than Reform
X to doubt

wanted to get some mince beef too when I was in Aldi but some stupid old woman was dawdling in front of it and I didn’t want to stand behind her for ages like some freak so I just walked off

>>215926795
I don't get the educated label though.
I have a masters degree in engineering and politics/brexit didn't come up once.
Don't see how I'm any more educated than Gary the builder.

>>215926798
Islam is progressive.

>>215926269 (OP)
yay!

>>215926798
I wonder why he's converting to Islam in the first place, just another example of mental illness

>>215926763
Kek he's cooked, /r/soccer was rinsing him for his response to Birmingham banning Maccabi zionist ultras from attending Villa matches

the Andrew Tate generation will vote reform in droves

>>215926818
You can doubt it all you want. Zoomers have woken up to reforms bullshit the only people fall for that are gammons no offence

>>215926809
finally an end to nazimong's posting career

I've gotten into the bad habit of having a wank mid workout. Right now I'm sat here in-between sets thinking about having one. Think it's an addiction

its all kicking off in cheadle

could of sworn this isn’t /pol/? Hmm

>>215926780
not sure what dweeb shit you're referring to

>>215926852
>try to make everyone happy
>end up pissing literally everyone off
>rinse and repeat

it's incredible really
The nigga that recognises Palestine after 80 years and he's reviled by the pro-Palestine side for banning protests and saying Israel has a right to deny them food and water at the same time, and now this football thing.
Just pick a lane you bhenchod.

Looool

^.^

>>215926722
Recorded looney Toons, rugrats and pokemon on mine wherever they are if I still have them somewhere

>>215926913
do you ever make stuff like this in real life?

>>215926722
zoomers deeply confused by this image

>>215926722
mad how nice that packaging is

>>215926818
Only terminally online shut in zoomers are turning right wing. The rest are playing football with their ethnic mates

>>215926930
yes but it's not as pretty

>>215926890
thats the rainbow coalition for you

>>215926172
pastrami and sauerkraut sarnie
might have a yoghurt after

>>215926890
Unbelievable how much of a spacker he is really

>>215926904
wot if ya mum ran on batteries

>>215926942
probably yummier than the image though and how do you make them

>>215926904
Can't chance them eating the real ones

the same moon as the wrong kiss
south, down, east, left, out

The copers are in for their daily coping I see

listening to elliott smith and crying again, just one of those nights lads

>>215926993
based and blessed

>>215926890
More embarrassment for starmer's labour, deary me

>>215926993
Why? He’s no Christian

>>215926890
They fuck everything up massively
>country is totally skint
>propose some absolutely milquetoast cuts that go nowhere near far enough
>backtrack after a few headlines about freezing grannies to death (triple lock pension was going up by more than WFA anyway) and literally slaughtering disabled people (someone with anxiety might not get a new BMW on Motability this year)
>still get the negative publicity of actually doing it without saving any money

>>215926512
mental how these people never die

>>215926993
Nigga going for the republic% record

Gennady Andreyevich Zyuganov (Russian: Гeннáдий Aндpéeвич Зюгáнoв; born 26 June 1944) is a Russian politician who has been the General Secretary of the Communist Party of the Russian Federation who is a perennial candidate in the Russian presidential elections. He has also served as Member of the State Duma since 1993. He is also the Chair of the Union of Communist Parties – Communist Party of the Soviet Union (UCP-CPSU) since 2001. Zyuganov ran for President of Russia four times, most controversially in 1996, when he lost in the second round to Boris Yeltsin.

>>215927011
this was me but when I was 14 please do get a grip my antipodean friend what's got you so down in the dumps?

get the israeli women raped
get the chinese women raped
get the russian women raped

stop getting baited into talking politics by heathernonce you mongs

why did you do it

>>215926795
>educated
brainwashed*

>>215926829
the millions of liberal arts and humanities graduates get indoctrinated to follow the "progressive" narrative no matter where it goes

>>215927035
fumbled a woman i loved. it was never bound to work, but regardless, feels bad man

>>215926881
being scared of washing your hands

>>215927046
>liberal arts
Yankbrained freak

WORK MUST END
I just wanna be at home

>>215926969
flavored fizzy waters and electrolyte powders and syrups and citrus granules
that's what I have available to me at the moment
I will use real fruit juices again when I get home

>>215927074
love washing my hands and feeling clean

>>215926993
praying for rorke's demise

>>215926890
he's not trying make everyone happy
he's just a man with zero beliefs
to be expected from an atheist

>>215927058
still time dust off and perhaps you'll encounter another good woman
>>215927084
very nice may do that someday myself

Ginger girls are the best and have the best feeling fannys too

Debate me

>>215927042
kek that is me (the soldier with the gun and then the big tree stick)

>>215927078
what should i call it then

>>215927042
because they are worth less than £1

>>215927115
wouldn't know as i've never felt a fanny

forgot I even had stuff for sale on Vinted and now I’ve only gone and bloody sold something .. forcing me out to the post office

>>215927130
lib dem arts

>>215927024
Good post
I didn't even know until recently that you can get a free car from the government if you're on PIP or whatever, even for utter bollocks like "ive got adhd and menthol elves"
The fucking state of this country. It's seems to be a working class mongo phenomenon as well. Can't complain about boat wogs getting housing and benefits when our own people are spoilt lazy cunts getting hand outs, at least the boat wogs have had a tough life.

>>215926993
Apostate King, head of the Church of England that leads an illegitimate "Anglican communion"

https://youtu.be/IMxOLiS9DOo

neo lib dem autist teeth

>>215927115
alri Gilbert *smashes slate over your head*

>>215927144
>that (white) man is stealing your cookie
pakis loving this

>>215927148
>In what has been viewed as a major split in the Anglican Communion and a snub to the Church of England, the GAFCON primates have issued a statement which said the Anglican Communion will be “reordered” and provinces of the Global Anglican Communion won’t take part in meetings called by the Archbishop of Canterbury.

https://premierchristian.news/en/news/article/major-split-among-anglican-communion-announced

Bro managed to make a national crisis out of a Europa League game omds

>>215927214
she would get it

>>215927175
The cartoon should be a fat white prole mong on the left with a plate of cookies, a fat wog refugee on the right with a plate of cookies, and a white upper class man in the middle having his cookies stolen by both of them

right well I'm off to the charity shop to explain why I didn't appear last week when I said I would

I told you not to put an Atheist in charge of the country. That Kemi Bandersnatch is an Atheist too. Farage is God Fearing so I'm voting reform. And he rightly recognised the CoE has gone woke long before this ridiculous woman Archbishop nonsense.

What's on CCP Charmer's next agenda

>>215927223
that’s a drawing

>>215926993
what the FUCK

indeed

I'm trying to lift away the gay bottom thoughts but it's not working

googling how to poo

let's just hurry up and get WW3 out of the way

>>215927042
LMFAO EVERY TIME

>>215927277
Can we wait until after my week off toil

>>215927223
Hard cover Bible bashing till she removes those crypto-pagan garms and scurries back to Bible school. They'll make an evangelist out of this gyaru sket yet

>>215927297
alright then

not even a fat bastard but just destroyed 300g of Delightfully Dunkable Custard Creams (79p at Co-op) for lunch

1473 kcal
66g of fat
204g of carbs

feeling quite ill now and regretting my actions

>>215927042
can't imagine what would possess a white englishman to appear in a bollywood film

I’m off first week of November from toil if you can wait until after that too

The Contradiction:

Fact 1:
In July 2020, the UK government officially announced that Huawei was to be removed from the UK’s 5G networks, citing national security concerns — particularly over China’s influence and US intelligence warnings.

Fact 2:
Two British men — Christopher Cash (former parliamentary researcher) and Christopher Berry (a teacher) — were charged with passing politically sensitive information to a Chinese intelligence agent between Dec 2021 and Feb 2023 under the Official Secrets Act.

Fact 3:
In the 2025 spy trial collapse, the Crown Prosecution Service (CPS) said it couldn’t proceed because China hadn’t been formally designated as a "threat to national security" during the relevant period (Dec 2021–Feb 2023).

So... how could Huawei be a threat but not China?

uh oh even the AI is nooticing now

>>215927343
cash money

>>215925773
hi mate hiya hopws ot foiong

>The Government is considering delaying 7 council elections for another year amid fears Reform gains could threaten its plans to overhaul local government
Um

>>215927336
All good so long as you hit your macros.

Would absolutely want to live in the 1500s or 1600s. Yes I know the potential consequences. No I don't care.

>>215927378
love democracy me

>>215927378
not very democratic is it

>>215927378
corrupt to the core

>>215927378
The fix is in

shoving fistfuls of poo up my arse

>53% of households are net recipients of bennies
>median household income goes up after tax and benefits are included
>any proposals to even slightly rectify this are met with apoplectic rage from the press and public
This is your reminder we are fucked

>>215927336
I've had to stop buying all biscuits because I eat them by the packful. I miss the choc. digestives, the choc. hobnobs, the custard creams all of it

>>215927303
whateer that means

>>215927378
>considering
lol they've already done that shit

>>215927409
Grim

>>215927429
don't care, moving to china

>>215927336
>not even a fat bastard
doubt it

>>215927441
Lurk moar newfag

dunking a biscuit into my arse

>>215927429
I had no clue why Keir thought he could push through any bennies reform when he's literally the bennies party. After it came out he hasn't even met like 200 of the current Labour MPs in person and was hardly ever in the country it started it to make sense.

Diego come home mate

>>215927472
newfags saying this after being told to lurk
its so over for 4chan

ROOOOOOOOORKE

la musica de hairy frog

got a really painful spot on my arse. not sure what it is

>>215927429
>This is your reminder we are fucked
Looks like you can finally lose your virginity!

Remember that Russia uses the UK as a poisoning playground and nothing happened to them at all.

you off to shop?
go on you're going to shop aren't you?
go on son get us 40 benson blue and 8 carlsberg export and a haddock and chips from cave street fisheries ON THE WAY BACK
make sure you get it on the way back or it'll be cold won't it
come on get up you're off to shop now come on
*give you three £20 notes and a wink*
keep the change

>>215927500
gaybuttsex disease

reminder the professional /brit/ posters will unemployed in less than 60 days

>>215927506
thats like... based.. and redpilled..

Take mans Twix by force (take it, oh yeah) Send mans shop by force (send him, oh yeah)

>>215927508
I would do this

ofcom sexuals

Going to the bum wank poo shop
Anybody got anything interesting to reply to that?

>>215927478
>he hasn't even met like 200 of the current Labour MPs in person
to be fair it's a bit hard to have meetings with people you don't share a language with

hey guys, newbie about post in /brit/ for the first time... what should I expect?

>>215927506
We're not a real country any more

>>215927540
good lad

>>215927545
pooing, bradley, wanking, removal of tonsil stones

>>215927483
>it's another /b/-tard thinks he's an oldfag episode

my only hope is to reincarnate as monke

>>215927568
ive been here all summer kid

>>215927543
your da is the proprietor

Watching Dickinson's Real Deal. I FUCKING love it when the dealer tries to rip a seller off so David saunters in and says "they're a long way off my personal valuation"!

people act like 2016 isnt oldfag but thats 10 years ago

>>215927521
reminder that the online safety act didnt get 4chan banned at all and that you wouldnt shut the fuck up about it for ages yet still havent acknowledged you were wrong

brian blessed sex arse

>>215927600
/britcel/ SHAKING

In the 2002 general election, the United Kingdom Independence Party (UKIP) received approximately 466,686 votes, representing a vote share of 3.1% of the total votes cast.
The British National Party (BNP) received a total of 47,989 votes, which represented a vote share of 0.3% of the total votes cast.
The National Front (NF) received a much smaller number of votes, with a total of 1,399 votes, or a vote share of 0.09% of the total votes cast.

had a twix earlier
also been mincing about 4chan for about 6000 years

crack money i serve crack junkies

if I had a trans son I would steal his cum and send it off to America if he was cute

wheres diego

>>215927506
That's nothing,we once sent 2 secret agents over to blow up a chemical facility in arkangel

>>215927620
scream

Just found out David Dickinson is Armenian

Mad that, I thought he was just brown from being in the sun at car boot sales all his life or something lol

>>215927642
their names: Diego and Mousey. best secret agents in the world

>>215927620
6000 years on 4chan and still a newfag KWAB

>>215927042
Just a bit of banter

>>215927578
Wtwm

don’t care
Reform

>>215927663
>anyone I dont like is a putinbot
we are the opposite of America arent we
P.S. fuck off were full

>>215927655
crying
i also thought he was suntanned

remembering spartacus episode Kill Them ALL
was a great episode
spartacus had that line in it
>Once again the Gods spread the cheeks to ram cock in fucking arse
and also
>At last the gods remove cock from fucking arse
Season 1 was so great

We. Don't. Care.

Dislodge them.

NOW!

Diego was a part of the shadowy "La-Li-Lu-Le-Lo"
It's a shame what happened...... but he had to go when he did............. will be found zipped up in a duffle bag.......................................................

>>215927655
For most of my life I thought Freddie Mercury was an Englishman until I found out he's a Persian fella called Farrukh

trans son. father commits suicide after sending sons cum to America
order in chaos

peculiar posts biong made

>>215927642
>for england james?
>well don't forget scotland and wales and northern ireland sean bean family of nations innit
>for britain then?
>for britain

>>215927693
Me in the mirror, cotton bud in hand, hyping myself up to remove my tonsil stones.

>>215927720
>>215927720
>>215927720

the new gents

>>215927717
mad part is how I understand them all regardless

>>215927667
yea?
a doctor is in mate bet you dont know that one

>>215927655
basically everyone famous with tanned skin from the 70s was some kind of middle easterner larping

A lot of posters nowadays didn't lurkmoar and it's obvious. They don't 'get it'.

>>215927663
based Russians
our true greatest allies

>>215927759
based tbqh

>>215927732
fucks sake we need to start a /brit/ charity to get you tonsil surgery

>>215927737
ew creepy nonce

I used to be with it, but then they changed what it was. Now what I'm with isn't it, and what's it seems weird and scary to me, and it'll happen to you, too.

even this reference isn't it

>>215927771
naebdy cares lah