Thread 216012288

chris morris edition

Ziedbelg is fucking mental. Literally lost his mind.

>>216012344
dat boy out he got dam mind

finally broke down and watched the 67 origin clip
he's cute ngl

Another day in the books, I fought the good fight. Made a little cheddar, completed my homework. In a year I'll be well on my way to having a life worth living

texas...
home

can't stop with the rancid farts

>>216012344
what's he done now?

More like Stank Lloyd Shite

going to eat a whole jar of pickles and then get started on this bottle of whiskey

>>216012826
Pour the whiskey into the jar. Or save brine to drink hungover.

>>216012532
i've never watched skibidi toilet. refused to and was never shown it either or accidentally saw it either i have heard a bit of it though

>>216012874
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wsrvmNtWU4E&pp=ygUcbWV0YWxsaWNhIHdoaXNrZXkgaW4gdGhlIGphcg%3D%3D

mentally im here

Dear Atheists: You can't refute our experiences

this would be a tradition in england if bloody mary had a son

>>216013077
i wonder what that building actually is, seems interesting

>>216013088
used a similar argument on the doctors when i was in the psych ward

Plotting my counter-rape of planet earth

might graduate from being a burden to society to being a menace to society

the girl who plays matilda in matilda (1996) looks like peter stormare

Good morning.

>>216013239
Wonderful.

>>216013343
konichiwa

>>216013387
Konnichiwa, Aussie.

>>216013387
How are you today?

>>216013343
yo yot

smiling friends
funny

my stomach hurts

My armpit hurts

MY TUMMY IS HURTING

need the clarky cat to fix my tumny oh gosh help me please

>>216013823
wishing you good health

>>216013878
ok thank you
I feel better

starmer in the mud once again

>>216013956
is that in israel or the uk, why would israel comment on it

>>216013773
>>216013823
>>216013837
Stop eating before bed. Only thing that stopped my GERD

Hour and a bit drive down to the coast, can't wait to fish. Gonna start a new podcast and listen to a few fresh albums I reckon

Rhodesia was the last burst of Anglo Faustian spirit, abandoned at the edge of the world, farmboys defending what was theirs with lead and fire.

next post i see that's amusing or interesting is getting a guaranteed (You) courtesy of moi

>>216013998
Enjoy king x

this is what zoomer freaks want
fucking shit and stink loving freaks
https://i.4cdn.org/gif/1760917659992816.webm

>>216013998
good effort lad. what are you fishing for? I was thinking about getting on a boat to fish for cod but it's a bit too early in the season yet

gonna do a bit of fishing myself

>>216013982
it's not bed I think I have a little ulcer because I took two aspirin and an acetaminophen yesterday with not enough water
now I have an owie spot in my tummy and when I eat or drink the juice it feels ouch

>>216014140
fat yank bastard (looks yum)

I know this song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RRRiW4SUC4
david said the n word :-O

A normal day in France.

>>216014242
I would have won

>>216014242
>>216014276
not a fan of this sport

A normal day in america brit bro...

>>216014031
poo

Janny is asleep

Is it true brit is blocked in britain ?

beautiful valid trans girls rule the world

>>216014492
Brit moment...

>>216014503
aye

still here actively monitoring the thread for good posts btw, whenever you're ready lads

>>216014492
well that's still no excuse to post a pic of RD shitting out a ginormous steamy log of poop, even by horse standards

>>216014503
He mogs her

Listening to the unabomber manifesto for bed tonite instead of the Holy Bible

Surely "ultimate beginner's guide" must be a misnomer

>>216014566
bournemouth til i die

Woman, 75, dies in house fire as youth arrested

Brit bros the fuck are you posting

>>216014633
aren't you allowed to head kick

>>216014535
>>216014633
>brit
can you not see flags or something?
>bros
>plural
congratualtions on your (You) i guess

yank flag checks out

>>216014650
Not when they are on the floor

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ysNrXVbK4Nk

yes i am very refined and sophisticated

Literally spent the whole weekend playing some shitty mobile style tower defence game on my PC.
Now refreshed for the toil week ahead

aw did someone get banned? is someone having a little tantrum?

Whats funny to watch on the telly lads? Got the dodgy firestick an all

>>216014764
Its fredo not freddo

>>216014773
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pQCrcAFuI-E

>>216014764
youre not british

>>216014786
lolwut

>>216012980
It's kino

woke up bed absolutely drenched in sweat despite having my SUMMER duvet on and being naked

>>216014764
wait, can people of other nations believe these things??

>>216014818
got the heating on me

>>216014848
mmhmm

how old were you when you became racist lads? think i was about 14

>DVSA kicked me for being a bot

cheers, just another three months and ill have a test booked

>>216014931
Like 21 before that I used to go to BLM stuff with my gf

>>216014960
Just use one of the apps

just cheated on my std test

bench press is SO much harder when you go really slow

desperate
but not serious
your kisses drive
me delirious

>>216015003
all resistance training is, isn't it?

if it’s not a suit interview what the fuck are you actually supposed to wear also I’m 23 so don’t tell me some boomer clothes

>>216014961
What was that like going there? Rather fascinating. I've basically always been 'racist' since 14 myself.
>>216015069
fly as shit whyte boi polo or better a collared shirt and some trousers and decent shoes I reckon

>>216015087
ok I have polos
what type of trousers you mean like the ones you would wear to school?
and what is decent shoes would black af1 be okay

>>216014982
none exist

blithering retards the lot of you

>>216015143
I used drivingtestNOW

did you know you can play the hit 2000 PC action/stealth game No One Lives Forever for FREE?!

Proudly brought to you by HUBLOT

>>216015154
>Signups paused due to challenges in test availability.
they cant even give out tests now

CÎROC™ ULTRA-PREMIUM VODKA :
“THE ART OF CELEBRATION”

First

>>216015199
Oh damn

Explore your perks with Shell GO+

>>216005071
whale isnt a fish is it

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#TheNationsNetwork

>>216015140
chinos are good, black or brown shoes

So we will press on with developing clear, compelling and consistent UK offers, tailored to their needs and our strengths, spanning trade, development, defence, cyber security, technology, climate change and environmental protection. Because we know that in the coming decades there will be economic shocks, and climate change will have its baleful effects, and countries will want technology, finance and access to markets to support their development.

>>216015069
our CEO wears a t-shirt and jeans all the time

Get the small boats ON our shores
Get the migrants IN our women

Migrants' bellies full.
Migrants' bollocks empty.

>>216015069
look up business casual

>>216015140
yeah say if you have a blue polo i feel like beige chinos go rather well with them, black is fine too, the black air force 1s are probably fine too I'd go with that, what's the job though just in case

>>216015069
1/4 zip

>>216015271
ziedy making early posts before his mums boyfriend boots him off the pc

Luv my pensioners frozen
Luv my migrants pampered
Luv my timmies euthanized
Luv my katies stretched

Get the migrants fed
Get the migrants washed
Get the migrants medically checked
Get the migrants housed
Get the migrants shagged
Get the migrants paid

>>216015300
Warehouse

>>216015344
Yeah the air forces will be fine then

pissing down with rain outside

>>216015344
lol

>>216015344
Ouch

odds another coffee and cigarette
evens another wank
dubs shit shower shave

>>216015372
>>216015384
dont geddit

>>216015344
As long as you can tie your own laces you’ll be ahead of every other candidate.

>>216015391
get a job

>>216013316
Looks more like Sonia from eastenders

>>216015391
mental that asmongold has barely changed since the 1980s

apparently in order to be a sex god you have to go for atleast 45 mins preferably an hour

The toil haha am i right

Going to do practice my primal screaming techniques in the car on the way to work in a bit :)

hello darkness my old friend

don't have a job

>>216015445
go where

>>216015493
Never had one me

>>216015493
How do you make money?

i wanna fuck
my computah

>>216015518
mumberg provides

>>216015507
why you getting smart for you know what that means

>>216015507
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OTdR2NLEsPA

pnies

excited to go to Lidl soon
Working on my exposure therapy

>>216015577
what is there in lidl

had some bad dreams in the night and now I'm hopelessly anxious
sick of it

mummy mum tittty boob boob milk

>>216015584
People

>>216015577
runt

*^____^*

>>216015591
oh dont like people me
wouldnt bother going myself

cocks go back this weekend

shaved my whiskers. now I don't recognize my face. /blog

>>216015608
Why be nasty
>>216015613
Neither but I want to be better

bell grab ad
or
glad rabble

another day in the toil mines
smile oh so handsome

>>216015416
there's a part of me that wants to
i need to fix so much about myself before i can even try though, and i've been out of work so long, there's no way anyone would ever hire me
there's no financial incentive since PIP and that pays me so much to do fuck all these days
if i fixed my alcoholism and my generalised anxiety disorder or whatever it's called, and found a way to make money working from home self employed, then it might be possible
but to give you an idea of how fucked i am, my boiler's been broken for months and i'm too much of a spaz to even just text my landlord to have him get it fixed
easier for me to have cold showers and no heating in my flat than do the bare minimum amount of human contact needed to get my boiler sorted
it's hard to make other people understand just how fucked up i am thanks to my "invisible disability," but it is real
tldr: i'm trying, and making small improvements here and there, but it's not as easy as people think when you're as fucked up as i am

Reminder that it's ok for a 31 yr old man, who has fundamentally ruined his life, to 'start over' in a faceless one bedroom unfurnished apartment.

i've got the powers that b
running through me

>>216015693
Are you mocking or being serious I can’t tell

>>216015693
but how will he survive without mummy's milk?

>>216015683
How many PIPbux you getting?

>>216015624
Well there's the ol' 'pression back with 4pm sunsets for 5 months

>>216015683
runt

September - peng
October - comfy
November - alri
December - sadness looms
January - don't want to live anymore
February - it will be over soon, spring will come
March - spring... will... come...
April - it's coming
May - finally, took long enough

>>216015797
Poonjabers if you will

>>216015766
£600+ a month PIP, and £323 a fortnight, and about £400 rent, from the DWP
so it's about £1,650 a month in total
more than i need, and a lot of it gets pissed away on booze
i knew i could get PIP or DLA for years, but i didn't apply since i didn't need it until cost of living went up

>>216015775
yes very helpful, thanks

>>216015845
Wtfffff what do I need to get this?

>>216015834
There's like a 30% chance I would've killed myself if this place didn't have a ski hill and I'm suicidal half of the time.

UK winter isnt even that bad you wet wipes.

>>216015704
Not mocking you. I didn't read your posts before I posted. I am in a similar situation. I think the tone of my post could be called post-irony or post-post-irony or post-post-post-irony.

>>216015845
kek this is my take home pay.

but i have my health so i still mog you

>>216015920
I'm a highly sensitive person, HSP, so things like weather and seasonal changes deeply affect my mood compared to a non-HSP person

>>216015871
just tell the government you feel really really sad

>>216015930
....em?

>>216015939
Your take home pay is 1650? Uuff how's the cost.of living crises hitting you in the lower wage brackets? Or you still live at home on reduced rent?

>Still getting spots at 23
Fuck god and fuck Jesus I hope the Jews are right and he is burning in shit and piss

had a chuckle

>>216015949
Bruh it cannot be that simple can it? Is it like job seekers where.youre not allowed to leave the country, have to go to some work meeting?
Couldn't imagine having to go and be sad with a government office worker a few times a month

september is basically 2nd summer often hotter than the first summer

october to april is just rain because it's never cold enough for snow.

spring and summer are kinda mid because it takes ages for the nice plants to come in and the actual nice weather probably only lasts 2 weeks at most and then everything is dried out like some african shit hole

>>216015988
Insane take

>>216015977
kek

>>216015845
why don't you just get a job? i make $170k working from home with about 10-20 hours of actual work per week

>>216015871
mental elf innit
i didn't need to lie to my doctor, or on any forms, or in the phone interview for PIP
but anyone could, and i don't see how they'd be able to tell
i guess you'd start by telling your doctor you can't leave the house or engage with people, even on the phone, most of the time, because of anxiety
get referred to a specialist and prescribed some pills
then you tell the DWP and apply for disability, they ask your doctor, and you get a bunch of forms and that to fill in
you get a medical exam and stuff
as i said, i didn't need to lie, and my history backs up my claim

>>216015939
i don't deny anyone who works completely mogs me, even if they get less money
one reason i avoid talking to anyone is the embarrassment of being such a societal burden
and i can't say nobody chooses this lifestyle, because there are people who lie to get the NEET life i've got
and how do i convince people i'm not one of those?
half my family think i'm just a scrounging malingerer and shit all over at family gatherings, which i just avoid now
my nephew just had a kid, and at my mum's wake he asked me, in front of our whole family, how can he avoid his kid turning out like me
it's hard to describe what that feels like

>>216016001
you're wrong because you're an island paki

>>216016006
see >>216015683

when people get veneers and end up looking like they got those straight cat teeth

>>216015812
good

>>216016041
they know?

stop being a boNObo and start being a boYESbo

when will there be no more death?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kqdJ6CsXt4Y
<3

that beer hit my hand on a friday like thors hammer

>>216016012
Damn dude, where do you live? Is it at least somewhere nice where you can go out for walks n shit?
How did you do all that shit with your doctor and DWP etc if you're so anxious? Like I have anxiety and I'm on the spectrum but it's not that bad, I just channel it into being a cunt to normies at work like a normal human

>>216016017
I live in Bristol normally dickhead but yeah the ol 'nnnel Islands have nicer weather for sure but winter is still depression wrapped in wind

>>216016073
when everyone escapes the cycle of samsara and no longer suffers the reincarnation into the material realm caused by material desires
that's what i heard anyway

>>216016065
only if you stop being a bo-homo

Don't like summer because I feel pressured to be outside doing eventful things

making a mood board for my new apartment

>>216016105
i live somewhere very nice, surrounded by middle class homeowners and families
can't help feeling like i belong on a council estate instead because my mere presence is shitting up the place
i could go for lovely walks if i could comfortably leave the house, but i never do because of the mental elves
i managed to do the doctor exam and dwp medicals in person years ago, but all my recent interviews and stuff have been over the phone

trying to escape scransara but the mcdonalds app keeps sending me cheap deals

>>216016109
Cannot wait for my atman to achieve moksha and stop entering bodies, fucking sick of it

>>216016172
get a clue

no one cares about your blogposts

>>216016176
only fat fucks have fast food apps

>>216016197
relax

>>216016197
noted

>>216016012
>my nephew just had a kid, and at my mum's wake he asked me, in front of our whole family, how can he avoid his kid turning out like me
howling.
they're right btw. you are a scrounging malingerer. you should be ashamed of yourself.

>>216016210
you're a immigrant how dare you come in here telling a native whats what

saw a black person last week and still haven't recovered

>>216016176
yolo

>>216016225
Sorry to hear that lad

>>216016222
take your bad vibes and your poor grasp of the english language and shove them up your backside

>>216016197
I literally asked him questions idiot

>>216016172
Nah you don't wanna be around the lower classes when you're like this, that'll do nothing for you (and it'll give them ideas...)

You should get an Uber to a spot far away and just walk back to your house slowly increasing the distance, somewhere naturey

>>216016205
it was a joke, cody
i was joking
it was a /brit/mas joke

>>216016225
looked in the mirror aahahaaa!!?!?!?!

>>216016246
it's idiomatic you mong

reckon i’ll be nought but a lowly garden slug in my next life

>>216016263
I'm white (Portuguese)

farts still reek even after unloading some hefty turds
the foulness must still be working its way through my sewage system

>>216016284
>New Bedford vibes

>>216016268
hurry up and get bored

>>216016225
rorke struggling to come to terms with his hate upon witnessing his very first gargantuan jungle ghetto booty

>>216016220
i've just come to accept that there are people who think this about me, and i'll never change their mind
i know i'm not a bad person, and that i'm trying to cope and recover from all the trauma and shit that caused my mental disorders
i'm doing what i can and if it's not enough for some people, well, they don't know what i'm struggling with so i can mostly just disregard their opinion of me and worry about reality instead

>>216015609
you really are the bees knees

>>216016294
I said white, not Madeiran

>>216016279
no changes then

>>216016309
Kek but still Mass?

>>216016313
aye, i’ll fit right in

must be nice having mates
would love some of my own one day

would love to be a little spider that lives in a garden shed

another miserable day of my dogshit incel life

colleague is 77 years old, no clue why he still shows up for toil

>>216016348
<3

>>216016384
the love of the game
>>216016374
boiled that unc in a cauldron filled with salt and vinigger

>>216016384
maybe he's bored

>>216016374
my nephew is older than me

glod

Scheiße

glod

my nephew shagged my bottom!

haven't wanked in 7 years

>>216016442
Catholic tier relations

>>216016524
he's older than me

My sister buried me today

haven’t wanked in 24 hours

>>216016442
hola

>>216016321
maybe

havent wanked in 2 weeks. gona get prostate cancer at this rate

come to brazil

crying tears of joy managerberg is still on annual leave today

it's 9 oclock

>>216016588
it's 5 o'clock somewhere

>>216016549
We have a lot of madeiroids in the channel islands, Jersey more than Guernsey but uff what a group of (loud) people

wonder how many uk flags are pakis
there statistically has to be a few

where do I find a goth gf in the UK?

>>216016374
kek I look like this
will be 30 in December

*BRAAAAAAAP*

>>216016628
we have some brown portuguese (madeirans, some cabo verdeans) but mostly white portuguese (acorean)

decisions, decisions...

HAMAS TUNNELS UNDER CHEADLE

>>216016736
rorke's gf

rorke's gf

>tek it tek it
>NO IT'S TOO BIG I CAN'T!!!!
>tek it tek it

:/

Cheadle Hamas accidentally digging into the Cheadle synagogue's tunnels

>>216014503
>Latina
Best Timmy culd do

Haha yeah 30 that's ancient haha
ha

why is imdb kill

>>216016651
they're nonsentient fabric rectangles

Got a free ticket to the American football game in London yesterday and it's actually insane

Sport for people with tiktok brain
>10 seconds of play
>commentators shouts some catch phrase over the tannoy
>cheerleaders stream onto the pitch
>"Scan the QR code to see McCoys turn your selfie into an AI Jacksonville jaguars player"
>*random air raid siren*

Three and a half hours of this

Emma Watson did a big stinky.

>>216016973
I hacked it

gonna drunk drive

enjoy your dinner

>>216016973
Probably related to AWS. Loads of websites are fucked atm.

finna scran and poo

HAMAS PARAGLIDERS OVER POOWONG

>>216017109
scrnigrming

that's a bit scary

got a catberg on my lapberg

>>216017117
so fucking cuddle i will snuggle them if i ever catch one

https://x.com/willhaycardiff/status/1979949660308463782
The average reform voter
Not even funny just depressing honestly

>>216017053
not on, is it?

7/11 was a part time job

>>216017125
hope the fluffyfooted bastards knock over your bins

just said nigger on reddit

bloody lynx lad

uguu

was 50g short on my protein last night so i made 10 eggs before bed, big mistake

never produced so much poo in my life, had to skip the teams meeting just to continue purging my bowels

>>216017128
lmao he's just being cautious in what he says

>Lucius Njoku, 33, fraudulently used the name of agency nurse Joyce George to work as a healthcare assistant at the Countess of Chester Hospital, Chester.
>Njoku was not spotted by colleagues despite wearing the woman's NHS name badge - complete with clear photograph, Chester magistrates' court heard.
>He was only found out when a suspicious patient confronted Njoku and the fraudster blustered: 'My name is Joyce - but I am a man'.

Insane how common this is, if you hire a Nigerian you need to assume two of his mates are gonna be jumping in to do shifts when he just can't be arsed
Don't expect them to be qualified mind

This is what makes managing them such a nightmare

>>216017192
Yeah sure bud

>>216017201
this is easily prevented

>>216017207
He literally said I've got to be careful with what I say. That's the opposite of your dumb Reform voter who just goes on about grooming gangs. He understands the problems that immigration have caused and the economic strain related to them.

fucks sake haha

I did it

problem is they all look the same

i've never even met a nigerian

>>216017222
Oh dear you were being serious…

>>216017244
>>216017244
>>216017244

short and/or bald men are treated with contempt

>>216017214
racist

>>216017250
they are beautiful

how are we supposed to expect reform to be capable of running the country when they cant even run a few local councils, honestly dont even know where we go from here but the country is 100% finished

>>216017248
BIG IIIIRON

>>216017245
typical lefty can't actually address a problem voiced by british citizens that is affecting their life, just shouts "racist" and "bigot"

>>216017274
Just put your faith in the ex bankers and ex tories :)

>>216017274
>the country is 100% finished
You've been saying this since Cameron was PM. Surely all these immigrants and diversity should have cured the problem by now?

>>216017259
my office has a machine that face scans you on entry before it 'activates' your key card, if the face doesn't match you have no access to the building

surely something similar could apply

>>216017274
labour did a great job instead didn't they ya muppet

>>216017274
>how are we supposed to expect reform to be capable of running the country

not to worry lad they'll keep the pipeline to Israel well fed, thats all the country is needed for anyway

irish diaspora

>>216017274
its impossible to run a council because the government hands down a million things you have to spend money on by law

>>216017297
Not really feasible in a hospital where the public need to be and to come and go

>>216017278
Literally never said racist or bigot? I think he’s a gormless mong who doesn’t even know what day it is, he can barely string a sentence together. And somehow you think he’s articulated his point perfectly, funny that

>>216017293
>>216017298
if you can't see this country is finished then you're blind, just sell us off to the gulf arabs through privatization already because that's what will happen anyway

well its either them or america, and i'd prefer the gulf arabs

>>216017340
>>216017340
>>216017340

janny's such a sad cunt :(