Thread 64158296

Whats the objectively superior melee weapon?

Crowbar. Every Half Life player knows this.

medium size rock

The rapier if we're talking minmax personal defense.

Why, my peanus weanus of course ;) hahhaha

>>64158296 (OP)
Shaped charge on a stick

knife

>but the spear -
that's just a knife on a stick, idiot

>>64158296 (OP)
Maybe the halberd, its can poke and chop

>>64158329
>that's just a knife on a stick, idiot
Yeah, and that is what makes it superior, dumbass

>>64158296 (OP)
Depends on the era, opponent, and landscape. But if I had to guess, some iteration of a spear or Halbert. Or machete, because Africa has probably stacked the statistics of melee combat a lot in the last few decades

>>64158296 (OP)
if you hit someone with this
it is objectively superior

>>64158349
To know that Timothy McVeigh could've saved so much effort if he had one of those bad boys.

>>64158296 (OP)
Hands down greatest of all the options

>>64158296 (OP)
Choose your weapon

>>64158367
Bike Wheel.
Since I am Jackie Chan, I will be very deadly with it.

>>64158296 (OP)
>objectively superior
Again, and again, and again: define.
What does SUPERIOR mean in that context?

Been oppressed by 10 black guys 2 days ago near a cash bank spot. I came back at the spot at night and observed them and noticed the patterns and 2 of them are more isolated in a street without much light and don’t connect to the streets with the other guys. The idea is to quickly punch in the face with reinforced glove the isolated one and then throw a small bottle 33mL or pure bleach on his face while knocked down and then leave quickly. The idea is to induce terror and make them leave the spot for good. The neighborhood is not dangerous at all. I’m 30, doing Muay Thai for 15 years, 6’4 82kg 11% body fat.
The idea is to neutralize fast.
Any insight welcome

>>64158327
This sounds awesome.

>>64158408
you're gonna get shot lol

>>64158408
Get a Glock and pow pow pow

>>64158414
It’s not in the US it’s in Switzerland (even here we have fkin nger) so highly unlikely for them to have a gun.

>>64158425
Just talk to them. Your ugly disgusting way of speaking will deter them.
Also, you're on the 4chongs here. You can say fucking and nigger, and if you're one of those self-censoring retards you're better off asking on reddit.

>>64158296 (OP)
>everyone else: NOOOOOOO ILL NEVER BE AS GOOD AS OLDER PEOPLE AAAGGGHHHHHH
>caveman: fuck yeah this is fun at least im not dead

>>64158425
Back in the old days of the us, groups of white guys would roll up in trucks and ask them politely what they are doing there, with a threatening undertone

>>64158296 (OP)
Backpack nuke always wins.

>>64158355
No choice. He only had what his Fed handlers gave him.

>>64158381 here.

Let me clarify something first. “Superior” can mean a thousand different things. Do we mean the most effective weapon in a duel? In line combat? In ambushes? For hunting?

Do we mean the easiest to learn, the cheapest, or the simplest to produce—so that an entire army could be trained and equipped quickly? Or do we mean the opposite: the hardest to master and the most expensive, reserved for an elite few, but devastating in their hands? Should portability matter? Concealment? Or are we only talking about open combat?

The truth is: there is no definitive answer. If there were, then every army in the world would have adopted that weapon—or a variation of it—until the widespread introduction of firearms.

1/2

>>64158296 (OP)
The quarterstaff. Or, the longsword.

>>64158480
But let’s play along. Suppose you told me: “You’re going to be dropped onto a random battlefield, anywhere in the world, sometime between the 5th century BCE and the 16th century CE. Your goal is simply to survive until nightfall. You may choose only one weapon.”

My answer would be: a shield.

Because a shield is both a weapon and protection at the same time. It drastically increases your chances of survival by covering the body against arrows, spears, and blades, while still allowing you to strike, push, or even bash with it. Unlike most weapons, it remains useful even in retreat or defense. And, importantly, a shield works regardless of your skill level: in the hands of a novice it saves lives, and in the hands of an expert it becomes an extremely versatile tool of war. Perhaps most tellingly, shields have been used virtually everywhere and in every era, from hoplites and Roman legionaries to medieval knights and Viking raiders—an almost universal constant of pre-modern combat.

2/2

>>64158441
I almost been robbed by these guys and you want to go back to talk ? And you think you are not the guy from Reddit. You literally have the survival instinct of a woman.
I wanted insight to know like if the bleach cover the dna trace from the hand. The idea is not to kill the guy but enough to send him to ICU for 2 months and go full blind for life. Also do the guy scream for pain even if knocked down ? If so it’s probably better to wait for a big rain to cover most of the sounds. Also if they are known by the police is it likely for the black guys to call the cops when they find the body ?
They have a massive cops recruitment campaign to get more women so basically 165cm pink nails cops. They don’t do anything for serious problems, they prefer to make average white people pay because they don’t have their light on their bike after 21h.

>>64158488
>Propose them to fuck your white wife
>Ask if you can watch
>Film them in secret
>Sell the video
>Make a big juicy pile of swiss francs
>Buy all the chocolate you want

>>64158491
The feminist women here are already doing it for free. I go to SEA to fuck real woman. Fukcing western women feels almost gay.

>>64158408
you're gonna get raped

>>64158408
Use acid instead of bleach

>>64158425
Niggers are desensitized to savagery. You will still be attacked.

>>64158408
Buy a gun, retard

>>64158349
>>64158472
The SADM was actually 4 40 pound pieces, so you'd need to be either built well or have a few buddies to assemble the nuke on the go.

>>64158296 (OP)
My fists.
5 gallon water cooler bottle of nitroglycerin on a stick comes close though.

>>64158484
What if they have a great helm on.

>>64158480
high effort answer to a 0-IQ thread.

reminder to sage.

>>64158296 (OP)

>hafted Acheulean spear

NO HUNTER NEEDS THIS TECHNOLOGY, WE NEED HAVE TO GO BACK TO OLDOWAN HAND AXES

>>64158425
Switzerland?
the country with required military service where every head of household is issued (or required by law to possess) a rifle.
>can't find a gun...
you're already planning to break the law. just do the job right.

>>64158740
you try wearing a massive fuck off great helm while someone's smashing a large stick against it. you'll be happy it was there AFTER you wake up.

>>64158740
You survive the first hit, but not the second or third ones.

>>64158296 (OP)
How is this even a question?

>>64158827
Lol what are these things called? I need a pair.

>>64158827
I like that their daggers too so you can slice your finger off when you crash into something playing ninja in the basement

>>64158296 (OP)
Depends on use case.
>unarmored opponent
A spear/bayonet.
>lightly armored opponent
Sword.
>heavily armored opponent
Mace, flail, axe, etc.
There is no "once size fits all, best of all time" melee weapon. If there was every pre-gunpowder army on Earth would have just used that, but there was diversity for a reason.

>>64158408
>premeditated bleach attack
Just carry a gun you stupid faggot

>>64158754
a rifle without ammo

>>64158962
You're issued ammo as well retard.

I genuinely don't know how the idea that Swiss people get free ammo at ranges (for training, and can't take it home because it's for training) has morphed into Swiss people can't own ammo.

You're retarded.

Historic texts pretty much agree if you could only have one weapon, it should be a sword. The problem is that a sword demands that you git gud

>>64158515
If orca tooth club so good then why tribes with thundersticks so powerful?

>>64158358
>slips

>>64158747
TWO ROCK WARS

I've read All Quiet on the Western Front and I know nothing hits quite like a fucking shovel to the face

>>64158408
Why does Switzerland have nigs?

A bit off-topic but I didn't want to make a new thread for this:

What's the point of tridents? It's just a spear with extra steps. What do the side forks add to damage potential? I could appreciate its use for fishing as you're more likely to hit something.
Is it just a fisherman's tool that doubled up as a weapon in times of war?

>>64158485
You're going to get stabbed you idiot

>>64158485
>BCE
Yeah not reading this post, it's made by a faggot jew

>>64159421
Same reason you have a crossguard on a sword. Control and protection. Also more stabby bits. Not a straight upgrade from a spear, but often useful.
Also they were used for hunting and, in different forms, agriculture.

>>64158485
That's a dumb weapon. I would choose a Virginia class fast attack submarine.

>>64158488
>I almost been robbed by these guys and you want to go back to talk ?
You entirely missed the point, but then again I should have expected that, given you're swiss and therefore most likely highly autistic.

>>64158408
Wait. you want to bleach a bunch of black guys? That's a new one. You do realize it won't turn them white, right? You really need to pre-soak in oxiclean for that.

>>64158327
You could make a mini version with a 12ga chamber attached to the end of a rounded spear. At contact-range it would ve devastating.

>>64159421
Tridents evolving from fishing spears. More prongs = easier to pierce the fish. A lot of weapons are just peasant tools adapted for war.

>>64159698
Don't such contraptions exist for arrowheads?

>>64158310
Very small rock. About 62 grains, thrown at 3000fps

>b-but it has to be melee
Fuck you, Grug throw rock.

>>64159740
>Grug throw rock.
But you don't throw rock, you shoot it. And even a thrown rock is not a melee weapon anymore.
You fail, in every regard, but mainly being a 5.56fag.

>>64158296 (OP)
The stick. Can't beat the stick. First and last weapon of man. Can bash ya, stab ya, push ya, all with good range.
Try to break it? Now I've got two potentially sharper sticks.
Burn it? Good job retard, now I've got a flaming weapon.
Got a while before a fight? Get a bunch of sticks, now you can build fortifications. Can dig with the stick. Can't beat the stick.

>>64159167
Don't forget to sharpen one edge

>>64159747
Grug use tool throw rock! Fuck you!

>>>>64158296 (OP)
Ball peen hammer. Easy to conceal and goes through skulls like fucking butter.

>>64159747
What's the correct verb for launching a rock with a sling? Shoot or throw?

>>64159772
Completely irrelevant because it's not melee, but if we want to be autistic, consider the following suggestion: Propelled by muscle power, throw, propelled by some kind of propellant, shoot.

>>64159783
Nice. Learn something new every day.

>>64158335
>t. killed by a roman and mad he cant have a good thread

>>64159772
>>64159783
>>64159817
Interestingly, "slingshot" can be used as a verb and would be appropriate in this context

>>64159177
has a shitload in the cities
they hang out all day and sell drugs
a few of them work

>>64158296 (OP)
Dzień Dobry

>>64158296 (OP)
Its the knife
Every single other melee weapon ever used by humanity has been displaced by the gun, but the knife marches on.
Wherever humanity goes in whatever future awaits us, we will go there with a knife hidden in our boot

>>64158735
I miss back when I was young and working in construction and could pick up and carry 4 80lb bags of concrete at once. Just bear hug them, stand up, and start walking. Gods, I was strong then. Now I'm old and struggle with one.

>>64158408
>6’4 82kg 11% body fat
hello hungry skeleton

>>64158735
Re-read the wiki article, its the T-4 that required 4 men at 40 pounds each. The SADM B54 was 58 pounds.

But have you heard of the Mexican sacatripe?

>>64159875
A roman with armour, shield, top infantry tactics and the best military training at that time, javelins too.

>>64158296 (OP)

This >>64158485 anon's right. Shield is the superior weapon

>>64158894
I mean you dont need ALL your fingers

>>64158296 (OP)
Golf club

>>64158296 (OP)
My dick

>>64158408
Just pepper spray them, have a gun as back up.

>>64160658
Especially not the pinky. The fuck you ever do with that?

>>64159887
Sounds kinda funny and redundant though "he slingshoted (maybe slingshat?) the rock from his slingshot."

>>64158367
Car cassette player, hands down. I have Led Zepp III on cassette and no way to play it.

>>64162460
>maybe slingshat?
slingshittered

>>64160725
>not knuckledusters and sprinting

>>64158367
Bloodborne Logarius Wheel

>>64162482
"As his slingshot slingshittered the stone into his enemies bladder, he realized he had never slingshat with so much force before"

>>64162570
>t. George Martin

>>64158296 (OP)
The war hammer, the most underrated of all arms, a hammer for bones and a spike for armor and it doesn't need to be sharpened

>>64158296 (OP)
Polymer baseball bat with a sock over it.
>quiet when cracking skulls
>bends and returns to shape, can't snap like wood or bend and break like metal
>can go toe to toe with a sword, can stop a sword strike but this is where it lacks because it can't take many strikes but that's not really how melee fights go and you're unlikely to encounter a sword in the modern age
>can strike and fuck up any part of the body, doesn't get stuck in the body like a sword, can break windows, smash up cars
>no officer this is just for baseball

It won't break through doors and walls as good as an ax. I'd say the top two are that and a hatchet. Bonus mention for hidden swords especially cane and walking stick swords. A bashing cane is good too because you can walk around with it at the ready and it may not get taken at a security checkpoint, though TSA is aware of them and won't allow certain ones.

>>64163595
>polymer baseball bat
You understand polymer weighs 1g/cc, right? Your baseball bat would weigh nothing and I might not even mind being cracked on the skull with it. Atleast cork the distal fifth or so of it with a heavy tungsten weight

>>64162572
>By the time the moon came up, she was slingshitting brown rocks. The more she slang the more she shot, but the more she shot, the wearier she grew

>>64158296 (OP)
Muh dick

>>64162544
THERE, YOU FILTHY MONSTROSITY

>>64162512
The Fans get fucked, Jacket is the guy

>>64164671
Yeah but the reason for that is flexibility. The Fans were set in their dumbass little ways. Jacket could move and maneuver through/with/around anything. But melee-wise, Tiger was just about perfect. He didn't even eat it from the gunslinging, pill-popping maniac that took out the rest of them.

>>64158296 (OP)
Fully Automatic-capable Carbine is the superior melee weapon. Grenade is a close second.

>>64158367
Petrol tank.

>>64164344
you fucker

>>64164693
True true, he still did eat it in the end though, being able to pick a gun might've helped him

>>64158408
Call the police on them for loitering to commit the crime of robbery. Otherwise use a bank, not a hood ATM.

>>64164742
I would argue he could have stuck to his guns (jej) and stayed alive if he didn't go back for his dumbass lost cause friends. He should have known he couldn't save them when he got wounded and at least tried to slip out. Jacket wasn't above removing himself from a hairy situation.

>>64164344
Idk wtf is going on ITT as i feel like all the references are lost on me but the poetry is killing me

>>64159687
Qiaobi works too
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tSsfhL8Ek8Y

>>64164760
Even Jacket fled when the swat team came a knocking, alas, I think Tony was doomed to be a dumbass till the very end and he was unfortunate enough to run into the exact guy who would shoot him

>>64164834
Exactly, Jacket knew better than to keep fighting there. Tony the Crony got sentimental on the team.

>>64164780
You slingshittered nothing, Anon Snow.

>>64164891
What do we say to the god of slings?
>No shit today!

>>64164900
"Men slingshit themselves when they die. Didn't they teach you that at fancy lad school?"

>>64164909
What is a sling? A miserable pile of shittered! But enough talk, slingshat you!
I never watched GoT and I got bored reading the first book. Martin is a predictable hack.

>>64158296 (OP)
Your mom’s pussy, cuz one hit will knock a motherfuck out

>>64158327
I got you anon.

>>64158296 (OP)
Ballistic shield with claymores taped to the front

>>64158296 (OP)
John Wilkes Booth on a stick

>>64158827
I stabbed myself in the stomach while working on my routine with these. I had to go to the hospital and got stitches. These are not recommended unless you have a lot of training.

>>64158296 (OP)
Rock.
>everywhere
>can chuck rock
>can hit with another rock if you need more specialized rock
>>64158329
Knife is just a rock that had a lot more specialized tuning to it.

>>64158296 (OP)
I guess a stick with sharp bits on it

>>64164344
Kek

>>64162465
I have about a million bootleg niel young concert tapes (yeah I know...) that were my dad's and same deal

>>64165895
Rock is OP. Nothing beats rock. It is the first and final technology. The ancestry of the gucciest rifle can be traced back to when Grug picked up a rock and smashed Thunk’s head in with it.

>>64166657
Firearms are just tiny fires throwing tiny rocks for you.

>>64158358
This rattles the screwdriver.

>>64165337
Kek

https://youtu.be/uwbja_GY_fY?si=hboElif3Fey8amF-

>>64158296 (OP)
All you need is this bad boy right here. It can kill anything

>>64158307
Any real half life player would know it's the Monkeywrench

>>64158329
The knife is just a sharp stick.

>>64158296 (OP)
muh dick

>>64167090
Nah, does not look stabby.

>>64158296 (OP)
The Ultimate Weapon is the Mind!

>>64158296 (OP)
>decapitates enemies
>decapitates enemies' horses
>even if the blades break, it's still a cricket bat that will rattle someone's noggin

>>64159772
You sling rocks when using a sling or slingshot
after slinging a rock at the foe, you can report that the rock has been slung

>>64167336
>muh 1000 times knapped obsidian cuts clean through horses
>tips sombrero
>mi señorita

>>64158296 (OP)
The wielder's skill and the skill of the enemy combatants / their weapons all come in to play. We could argue all day. I'm sure there's a situation where a swordsman beats a spearman and vice versa. David killed Goliath with a sling and a stone due to his skills, the distance, and having God on his side.

>>64158408
Buddy, or should I call you Batman?, tell the police there are 10 black guys robbing people at that ATM over there.

>>64158367
car stereo for sure. Chuck that thing at someone's head.

>>64158296 (OP)
a halberd or giant pike?
goodify the grinch with a literal 10 and a half foot pole and take out cavalry

>>64158408
>bleach terror attack
fucking lost

>>64164742
a lot of hair dryers have an on switch like an UZI safety

>>64165880
Is this a joke anon ?

>>64167353
Too late bud, We've already decided on slingshittered and slingshat

>>64166657
Paper beats rock

>>64168133
I guess you could say the discussion is slingshut

>>64168168
Well slung, Carlos!

Cane Sword or Gladius would be my go-tos, personally.
Gladius gives both some range, looks badass, and is specifically meant for close-combat.
Cane sword is just classy as fuck.

>>64158827
surely they could have put a picatinny rail on those and made them tactical

>>64158296 (OP)
A gladius.
No, I will not elaborate.

>still the all time leader
Aethiopes fatui estis. Nigerrimus retardati orci Aethiopi in existentia.

>>64158296 (OP)
Forty pound spear carried by someone who can throw it so hard it pins a wild pig to the ground.

Knoife and hatchet

>>64159698
They actually make those for fighting sharks, I have a few in .223.

>>64158329
This. Spears can be deflected, stepped on, or grabbed. Knives are harder to grab without getting lacerated

>>64158425
niggers don't obey laws

>>64159917
>nigs being nogs
Story old as time.

>>64158408
>the idea is to induce terror
>the idea is to neutralize fast
No, you're just going to induce rage and a desire for revenge, retard.
Bleach takes time to take effect, especially if it's a fucking tiny amount like 33ml, and both of the guys will still be alive and well aware of who their attacker was.

I hope you like getting randomly jumped later on; it's honestly what you fucking deserve.

muh dik

You dumb as hell doing this solo. Especially when you don't know what they're packing. I applaud your vigilante justice tho as it's vigilante justice or none at all in these matters, unfortunately.