>>64163680 (OP)
Official Response from the Ministry of Explanations™
Comrades of /k, rejoice and rest easy! The strike on the Ust-Luga refinery was, in fact, a resounding Ukrainian failure. The refinery? Useless. We didn’t even need it. In fact, it was so useless we were just about to sell it for scrap to a guy in Belgorod with a wheelbarrow and a goat.
Let it be known to the world that at the exact moment of the attack, the facility had been heroically converted into a shelter housing 200 smiling Ukrainian orphans, all of whom had been rescued from NATO’s death camps in Poland. These children, nourished on the finest invented in russia borscht concentrate and patriotic cartoons, were happily singing folk songs about tractor production when evil Western munitions struck.
Thankfully, every orphan miraculously survived, thanks to the quick thinking of refinery workers who bravely shielded them with a combination of surplus T-62 armor plating, a single shovel, and the spirit of the Motherland.
So to summarize:
The refinery was strategically irrelevant.
We didn’t need it anyway.
It wasn’t producing fuel—it was producing happiness, sunshine, and safe space for innocent orphans.
Any damage is not real, but also proof of Boris Johnson's barbarism.
Glory to disinformation! Glory to plausible deniability! And most of all, glory to the ever-flexible truth of the Ministry!
–– Signed,
The Department of Explanations, Moscow
