how am i supposed to differentiate between something like picrel being normal female puberty and "clearly not trans" and people just feeling like they are a certain gender actually being trans? a huge part of why im repping comes from being unable to fully understand what exactly makes someone just "feel like" they are something and not the other, and interpretate these feelings of discomfort a certain way that differs from how a cis person would. in a way, this proves the link between autistic black and white thinking and transgenderism that many love to bring up but i still cant tell how exactly. especially when adding to that the fact that some even believe AFABs cant be trans, on par with how they believe AFABs cant be/mostly fake being autistic.

i just dunno at this point. i cant tell whether im repressing anything at all or just an average female autist, or maybe not even autistic and actually some kind of nlog fad like many foids are. i will never truly know what gender dysphoria really is or feels like because i will never be trans.

that's not normal female puberty

>>40071992
most afabs think this, then their biological clock tells them to seek COCK and they grow out of it.

>>40071997
if wanting to be a boy and have a penis isn't trans then maybe afabs can't be trans

>>40071963 (OP)
turn off your internet router

>>40071992
some would disagree even after seeing this

>>40071997
i have always seeked cock and still havent grown out of it. i just dont understand

>>40072008
you can get COCK as an afab, it just will be inside you instead.
>>40072034
are you cute or are you mutilated? maybe you haven't sat on the right lap yet

There is just no real answer. Transgenderism is dependent on the recognition of self-reported feelings or subjective states. That kinda makes it impossible to scientifically verify.

>>40072236
the only thing keeping me from mutilating myself is my current relationship forcing me to repress, but since its a long distance one and weve actually never met i havent really lost my virginity that way at all. are you implying that might have something to do with it?

>>40071963 (OP)
Picrel is normal for girls. Every single girl goes through this. It's a normal part of growing up as a female. You realize you're seen as inferior from the start.
The thing is, if these feelings persist after 18, I think it's actually gender dysphoria.
This is why you're confused. There's a difference between growing up as a girl who already understands how society sees her, and being a woman who wants to be a man.
All women experience the first one, but only a few go through both.

>>40072367
Youre replying to a spam poster with an ftm fetish youre not going to get decent advice

>>40071963 (OP)
i guess the difference is whether ot's just a wish or if it's something you'd actually act on. a lot of people have probably wished they could be men (grass is greener type shit) but not many would actually have the desire to act on becoming one

>>40072385
i will say though the owner of this journal absolutely is giving repper vibes

>>40071963 (OP)
Who do you want to be, op? Become that person.

>>40072372
is it really dysphoria if these feelings werent as intense/probably didnt even exist prior to 13 though? because of this whole overlap with puberty i have never been able to take my dysphoria seriously. i used to tell myself it was rogd and still think to this day it was, especially since i wasnt very masc at all to begin with. just not stereotypically feminine

>>40072380
i know. i just like playing into it -w-

>>40071963 (OP)
God pic makes me cringe. Such a stereotypical "insane person's diary" as imagined by an angsty teenager, probably inspired by a Family Guy parody of some horror film they haven't even seen

>>40072447
Fwiw my experience with dysphoria was fairly similar in timeline and childhood, testosterone essentially cured my suicidal thoughts, and I'm currently mostly stealth and am overall happy with my body and life

>>40072472
Hunter’s diary is the same way. It’s chuunibyou thing

>>40072472
tbhon the fact that the sentence gets cut off wrong and starts reading "-i was a boy i wish" like if it were being typed into a text box with word wrap seems so unnatural and kind of pisses me off. but im also just trying really hard to decipher what the other side of these pages says as the sheets seem kind of translucent

>>40071963 (OP)
if youre that far along youre a tranny

>>40072535
god this hurts so much i wish i was the one on the bed in the top one and not the bottom one :c

>>40071963 (OP)
>how am i supposed to differentiate between something like picrel being normal female puberty and "clearly not trans" and people just feeling like they are a certain gender actually being trans?
By asking them what they mean by this. If they wish they were a man for 'strategic reasons' like not being catcalled or being treated like a human by men instead of a thing to fuck, its not trannyism.

If you wish you were a man for the sake of it, even if you lived in a deserted Island then youre reaching tranny territory

>>40072558
You really shouldn't want either of those situations.

>>40072582
yeah hmm i guess id still be okay being catcalled and treated as less human by men if i were male... i guess thats what makes it different

>>40072592
why not? i think its cute. at least the one on the bed has friends and seems like theyre enjoying it

>>40072609
It's not different, its tranny territory to wish you were a man even if you gained nothing from it from a strategical standpoint. If that has lasted a long time and is actively causing you distress in your life youre probably trans

>>40071963 (OP)
*hits cigar*

>>40072638
hmm i guess so. 7+ years might be long enough

>>40072638
Without social strategy factoring into appearance you’d just be a Walmart shopper

>>40071963 (OP)
If you want to look more like a man you can. It comes with costs. Its your body. There is no objective morality or non material self. In this way being trans is obviously related to a difference in the brain itself or information stored on it. This is also the origin of the self as a cis person experiences it. That self in my opinion is just the hum of a machine I perceive control over. There is not really an absolute man/woman/human state. Everyone has to be considered independently because ‘every one’ is the product of a different machine. I repped until 25. I tried to be cis and found it hollow. My girlfriends always loved me and I them, but it felt like I was always lying to them. They loved the mask really. I am not attracted to women, but learned which ones I was supposed to be attracted to by watching other Marines. I just made myself into what I knew I wanted because I knew thats what women wanted. I couldn’t keep the act up. Fell into drinking really bad. Spent a year trying to avoid even seeing a woman. Because I dated a fucking terf for 5 years. I thought what I wanted would hurt women in some way. It doesn’t. I can actually talk to women now. They don’t treat me gross or ask me out. We can just be friends. I have friends that actually like what I like now. Men also know that Im not part of the eternal retard off that is masculinity. I feel better on HRT I don’t really care if I’m a woman as some like platonic absolute. I just feel more comfortable this way. Is it caused by autism? I mean like sure maybe, but so what? Like do we need to make 100% sure every sperg is reproducing and has tits lmao. I also do not have autism for what its worth. I have been checked for it. I’ve just got OCD and PTSD.

>>40071963 (OP)
if you like the effects of testosterone, then take it
if you don't, then don't take it
ignore all the bullshit
focus on physical reality
if you just hate periods and boobs but don't like the effects of testosterone you aren't ftm. so just take birth control to halt periods and get a breast reduction if the size bothers you

>>40072952
i am actually on birth control and my periods have stopped (only after a year on it though, dunno why it struggled), but the thing is while i do wish i did have male secondary characteristics, i really do not wish for the extreme side effects of t like balding or excessive body hair, that even some cis people wouldnt desire either. i also wish that my female puberty didnt change my body as much as it did (to many mtfs shocker, wide hips and narrow shoulders arent the "default" body type). but some people believe that if stuff like that stops you from really being affirmed by hrt you arent really trans because its supposed to be an "x thing or dying" kinda thing for them. honestly, i would very much rather wish for my body to be completely changed to male rather than go through the whole tedious process of making it look only slightly more similar to it, with a high chance of failing and looking like an ugly freak for the rest of my life (i doubt thatd happen if i did it right, but seeing as it happens to so many people its hard to not see it that way)

>>40071963 (OP)
Psyfag here. The difference is almost arbitrary. The real question is, are you in enough distress so that transition, both social and especially medical make sense to try?

>some even believe AFABs cant be trans, on par with how they believe AFABs cant be/mostly fake being autistic.
It's more complicated than that. A lot of the protocols for AFABS are just blindly copying those for AMABS. It's quite possible that trans works differently. The permanent effects of trying out E+whatever for a year vs trying out T for a year are VERY different, so what some people are saying is that the guidance and protocols should be different.

>Autistic AFAB.
As in diagnosed by a clinician and not an online test? I would make sure that's on the right track before doing anything else.

>>40071992
It's completely irresponsible to make a diagnosis or claims like that on such little information. Are you claiming you know fucking anything about normal female puberty?

>>40072447
>is it really dysphoria if these feelings werent as intense/probably didnt even exist prior to 13 though?
It doesn't matter as much if its "real" or "valid" as, "does it work", "does it subside on it's own", "is it manageable by other means"

>>40071963 (OP)
You are brainwormed and overthinking, take your shots. From pictures you have posted you have obvious passoid potential. You should just get off this website and become a handsome guy.

>>40073071
>As in diagnosed by a clinician and not an online test?
i wouldnt be able to confirm that yet as i have yet to get an actual diagnosis, but i do genuinely feel like i struggle more socially than the average tiktok faker with a friend group of like 10 other fakers. the fact that i constantly obsess over things like what this thread is about doesnt help either, but it probably tends to look more like ocd than anything as im very averse to the possibility of being a terf

>>40073136
Alright. Whether you're clinical class autismo, or have OCD or ADHD or not or maybe just borderline and "bad at it" rather than have a full on case, remember that social skills are skills and they can actively be worked on.
There's a give and take. Things like social identity are relative and negotiated. As much as the "it's ma'am" hons demand, there's only so much they can force from other people. It's actually very common for adolescent women to struggle with that sense of identity. As was known in Big Daddy Siggy's day: >>40072688

OP's pic, by itself is still in normal ranges.

So, remembering that I'm drunk and shitposting, and not diagnosing anything, some quick rundowns:

OCD: Cognitive behavior therapy approaches, eg Exposure and Response prevention. Identify "triggers" to ocd, and either reduce them, or overexpose them, manage them. Learn to identify OCD states to shift out of them. Add a cognitive "off ramp" to the repetition states to break out.

ADHD: Broad area here, going to ignore pharm, as that's for severe cases.
Focus on executive function. Distraction management. Routines. Organization skills.
Healthy lifestyle choices, like eating right and exercise, both cardiovascular, and anerobic has a big impact here. Sugar consumption management is tried with wildly mixed results. Meme diets are tried....and sometimes work.

ASD: Work on social skills. T's and T adjacents sometimes spend all their time focusing on their own self image, while not thinking in any depth about the people around them. Build social relationships and social networks, including work, relatives both near and far, activities. Reduce 4chan use.

One last thing. I want you to absolutely not neglect your equivalent of prostate exams. I've had to bury some clients who simply refused to take the pap and ovarian cancer risks and tests seriously.

>>40073337
>I've had to bury some clients who simply refused to take the pap and ovarian cancer risks and tests seriously.
oh hell. yea going to the doctor is definitely the hardest thing here... ;-;

>>40071963 (OP)
We have no idea the context of this diary entry. What happened that day? How dramatic is this person usually? I don't think writing something like this on one page of a child’s diary indicates a transgender mind

>>40072245
It's impossible only if you fail to even try verifying it.

Genes associated with transsexuality:
https://academic.oup.com/jcem/article/104/2/390/5104458
https://www.psychiatria-danubina.com/UserDocsImages/pdf/dnb_vol35_noSuppl%202/dnb_vol35_noSuppl%202_179.pdf

Transsexuality Among Twins: Identity Concordance, Transition, Rearing, and Orientation
http://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2010to2014/2013-transsexuality.html
https://www.hawaii.edu/PCSS/biblio/articles/2015to2019/2016-transsexualism.html

"All the genetic, postmortem, and in vivo scanning observations support the neurobiological theory about the origin of gender dysphoria … There is no evidence that one's postnatal social environment plays a crucial role in the development of gender identity or sexual orientation."
Handbook of Clinical Neurology (2021), Vol. 181, Chapter 31, p. 427–443.
https://linkinghub.elsevier.com/retrieve/pii/B9780128206836000312

https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5738422/
>Our findings suggest that the neuroanatomical signature of transgenderism is related to brain areas processing the perception of self and body ownership
Sex is determined in the womb separately between the brain and genitalia, leading to this potential for a mismatch between the brain's sexed body-map and the sex characteristics outside the brain.
Some people call this "subconscious sex". Conventionally, a mismatch in "gender identity".

Also see the high rate of reported "phantom limb syndrome" in transsexuals, though not for a "limb".
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_limb#Other_phantom_sensations
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Supernumerary_phantom_limb

>>40072015
>hazel
larping as a ftm detransitioner is a genius way to not get clocked

>>40073397
It's perfectly expected to hate prostate exams, but you really don't get to skip them. Everyone on T is at serious risk, regardless of their birth.

>>40072582
What if i got on test for "medical" reasons? I figured out it would lessen my joint inflammation and spontaneous passing out, and it did, but i don't mind other bodily effects. They're actually quite nice. I also don't mind being treated as male, it isnt positive for me, but isnt negative either. It just is here.
>diagnosed at 3 with autism btw