I've been on hormones for four years. as far as I know I pass, my voice passes, and I haven't been misgendered in years. I'm just not particularly feminine and have been boymoding whenever my family sees me.
but I only just came out to my parents, and suddenly they're asking questions like what changes I'm going to get from the hormones, and whether my voice is going to change. I told them I've been transitioning for a long time already, but they don't understand that I'm basically done, there's not much improving that's going to happen.
over the years I guess they got used to seeing boymoder me as a guy, and now they expect me to go further. they still use he/him and still call me their son like they're expecting me to tell them later that I want them to change how they refer to me.
talking to strangers or to my friends is a whole different world to them. people compliment me and say (albeit stupid) stuff like "I would have never assumed you were trans, you look like a cis girl." but my family still sees me as their son and brother and that's not going to change. I don't want to cut them off after they were so supportive but I can't stand the way I'm forced to think of myself around them.

sunk cost fallacy. they were good to you and now they're not, get out of that situation.

>>40114544 (OP)
>over the years I guess they got used to seeing boymoder me as a guy
its just that hrt changes are slow, like growing in any way. when someone sees you every day its harder to notice the small changes accumulate over a large period.
if your able to, girlmoding around them can definitely change how they see you. experiencing moments where they see you in their peripheral vision for a moment and immediately process you as a girl are the things that can make them change how they see you.

>they still use he/him and still call me their son like they're expecting me to tell them later that I want them to change how they refer to me.
did you say right now that you want them to change how they refer to you? cis people in general often don't fully know what you want from them, so you have to be direct
its also a difficult balancing act for even those aware, they don't want to she/her you all the time, potentially outing you accidentally in places you don't want to be