please readd me. im sorry i was rude and have been selfish. i miss you and hope you are doing good and if you don’t readd me thats okay too. i hope life goes good for you and ill pray for you. also sorry to be embarrassing and desperate through a 4chan post….

>>40122394 (OP)
Desperation is gross.

>>40122408
self respect is for those who can afford it

>>40122408
hmmm yeh it can be but idc persons worth it

>>40122394 (OP)
hey jic someone thinks this is me, it's not. i promise this isn't me and please don't take the words this random person on an anonymous image board is saying and put them in my mouth because, even if i would say something similar, i wouldn't and i'm not. thank you and good night

>>40122491
sorry to steal identity. good luck nona

>>40122518
no it's okay you keep it. no please hold on to it, i don't need ts anymore.

>>40122560
i’m too mushed brain and nonfunctional for that sorry fren

I am going to take 2 weeds and dxm tonight and jerk off and hallucinate until 5am because Im unable to feel close to anyone I talk to and if I do it feels disgusting

ok just know >>40122408 is right.

also everyone knows i would put a '-' between 're' and 'add'. the way you have it just comes across as 'read' w an extra d.

When i was 4 or something i had a lot of fun putting my mother’s nail polish on my #### and I was coloring it with red and black sharpies in class too. I was going to take this to my grave but its a confession thread

>>40122636
you could still re-ad it and make sense of it idc. was passing jus a little clocky. point of language is to communicate and communicating as a grammar nazi is the worst way to communicate ba-arf. even worse than desperation is the facade of trying to be better than others

>>40122618
i know who you are and i'm Not the one who posted this thread. i wish you could break out of this cycle you're in but i also know there's nothing i can do. i think about you very often and it's hell but i'm leaving you alone like you want me to. text me when you want. or don't.

it's your serve.

>>40122691
i cannot read this and i am the lowest of the low

>>40122731
can u rly not read it just because i put re-ad instead of read? if so filtered ig sorry. i doubt yr the lowest of low and good luck

>>40122664
Nigga

>>40122664
amongst all the mental illness, an actual fucking confession

my boyfriend is abusive. i had a really abusive childhood and it continues. he has only hit me one time though and it was bc i was annoying him. he just gets really angry over small things and everything’s always my fault and i just take accountability and say sorry. nothing in my life is together and we need each other. i love him. i had one friend who asked me if he was abusive and lied and said no. that friend is gone and i have no one in my life and i can’t do anything. nothing gets better and everything gets worse even though the abuse isn’t as bad as my childhood it feels far bleaker and empty and like it can’t be fixed and if it could it’s too late. i make it worse too i am an enabler and push everyone away and have pushed everyone away. i want what i deserve and am getting it. it’s hell and ik it’s where i belong as it will grow worse than what i can even understand like i could never understand where i am now when i was 8

>>40122394 (OP)
who are you

>>40122408
there's nothing desperate about OP's post
stop projecting you worthless worm

>>40123078
: (

>>40123184
who is this?

>>40123194
waow ty nona and idk i think its kinda desperate but ty for sticking up for me

>>40122408
Desperation is adorable if the person isn’t actually mentally fucked

>>40123237
ty i am mentally fucked though

>>40122664
what? why?

>>40123184
>>40123222
…… hmmm?

>>40123662
I think i hated my dick or something, maybe i got touched and didnt know it or maybe cuz of being a tranny

>>40123701
hmmm that could make sense i rly hated my pp when i was kid too im sorry nona

>>40122394 (OP)
you seem sweet, what’s your discord?

>>40124268
ty if you put yrs ill add u
…. warning though im not mean directly i am avoidant and push ppl away hard sometimes also not socialized well

>>40124366
I have bpd so avoidance is hard for me :(

>>40124400
hmmmm yeah the person i’m hoping to reconnect with i pushed her away by blocking her when i was sad as well as most of my discord friends bc being known is hard for me and i wish i wasn’t known a lot of the time and im kinda just going through it. we have had talks about not doing this in the past bc for her it rly hurts her when ppl do that. i broke a sensitive boundary and we recovered after i readded her for a bit and then she blocked me. im guessing bc still being hurt from me being an asshole and maybe me being too selfish bc im rly going through it and i maybe talk about it too much and maybe me not being thoughtful about something else im not positive about this one though. regardless she is a very based friend n rare beautiful soul that i want in my life and im tired of losing ppl so im trying to make it work. ummmm the plan is too never push ppl away like this again and hopefully reconnect with the others it’s just more embarrassing because those friends do not know me this well bc it’s rare i open up like that idk. so befriend if you want sorry

>>40124513
jamboreen is my discord

>>40122394 (OP)
Hey if this is who I think it is. I miss you too. I’m sorry we had to end things the way we did. You’re not desperate though. If anything I’m desperate, for assuming it is you. I still think about you a lot.

i’m sorry for the way i left things
again
it wasn’t your fault
i chose someone else over you and you never saw it coming
but in some way it was easier than telling the truth to you
the shame
the embarrassment
flaying my chest open to give you myself
i knew you were jealous in some way
and i tried so hard to push you out of my heart for so long
but you won’t leave
it was made to hold you i know that now
and i was made to love you
there hasnt been a day since where i haven’t cried over you
or wanted to kms for all that led to this
i still have conversations with you in my head all the time
i miss what we did
i miss your voice
i miss your stupid lectures
i miss you pretending that you didn’t hurt
im sorry for any pain i caused you
i never hated you
just know i didnt stop thinking of you ever
you were perfect for me
everything about you was right
thanks for all the times we hung out
i am so glad i got to see you at least once
if i could do it all over again i’d tell you the truth even if it led to less or changed everything
you made this life worth it even if it ended like this
if all get from this life is knowing that i loved you then that’s ok

I just wish you loved me. I know we literally fucked once and it's been years but PLEASE. I love you (even though it's gross to say and i'm a fucking estrogenized moid encroaching on your (real) woman life and whatnot but you're the only person I've ever loved. Please just talk to me.

>>40124675
maybe if you didn't abort the kid things would've turned out different.
fucking bitch.
whatever. i see my replacement. the onions boy you sucumbed to.
i licked my own cum off your stomach one time! one fucking time. get the fuck over it.

>>40124658
(K I think this is not the same girl. Soz ever1)

>>40124720
jfc get help n stop bothering me please

>>40124658
hmm i feeling its not me but good luck

nothing makes the pain go away
some days are better than others but i still miss you
the hardest part is the future we talked about will never come to be
i dont want you back, i just wish we never met
you gave me too much hope for the first time in my life and dashed it across the rocks like i was nothing
i hate that my heart will forever have a you shaped hole

>>40124945
How do you know how I feel? I miss my Doro

>>40124878

>>40124945
i want my hole filled

>>40122394 (OP)
I am in love with my best friend and she is in love with a depressed bastard that doesnt give her much attention. She's stuck on this prick because he's the only one who gave her a shot before she transitioned. I wind up kinda filling in the blanks while her SO is in his slumps and even tho I earnestly like making her days better, I loathe that she has to feel that way to fucking begin with. I shouldnt *have* to be the one to make her feel like the perfect woman she is - that *should* be her SO.
Im under no illusions I could be perfect, or hell, even just be better. But Id rather burn my own soul being what she needed for long enough to get somewhere better than to watch her marry someone who makes her feel so lonely and isolated half the time.
Unfortunately there is no stopping it. Ill break my heart watching her fall apart every month and on some months I wont be lucky enough to stop her loneliness driven self harm. I've seen this cycle play out in others and it never gets better. Marriage doesnt fix a person - most of the time it gives them the comfort to degrade more.

Thats a lot of justifying, but theres also a supremely jealous part of me that wishes I could just kiss her and rip her away from this train wreck. I... I want her to be in *my* life every day because she is the most beautiful, kind, and endlessly optimistic person I've ever met. But that reality will not be and Im selfish for thinking it ever even could. I need to let it go but, man, it hurts so fuckin bad.

>>40122394 (OP)
I really miss you

you've been gone for 3-4 years - it feels like an eternity. I can't get you out of my mind still. you were the last person I ever fully trusted, the last person I gave my heart to. Im even dating someone who reminds me of you just so I can try to pretend it is you, but it isn't the same. All our memories together seem like a dream, and im scared it's starting to fade. I don't want to forget the deep azul of your eyes, your chocolately brown hair, the way you wiggled your nose before you sneezed or; the smile you'd give me before grabbing me, lifting me up and saying "I love you". I just want one more night with you, just a few hours, even if it's back in that hospital room I couldn't bear to see you in. Im sorry. Im the reason you're gone. I couldn't even get to go to the ceremony when you passed. Your family tolerated me before and wanted me dead after. im sorry we ever met. I would change it all in a heartbeat just so you could walk by me again, even if it was with someone else. im sorry.

>>40126047
thats beautiful. Carry on !

>>40126047
I feel like I'm fast approaching death (maybe I am, maybe I'm not), but nobody has ever loved me like you have them. Why can't that happen to me!?

>>40126083
important wizard chaser post

like this is history in the making. we have mid twenties human who is sorrowing over another entity they had a close tie with, like family... love... a painful love and at least one of them is a tranner which makes it even more rare and we're in 2025 and theres like shitty stuff everywhere but also great stuff and this is a moment of beauty and grief in one's life like make sure to remember this yknow?

>>40122394 (OP)
I like the idea of being a transphobe with a trans girlfriend but I know it’s an impossible fantasy

ii ms o fucking high

Sorry I missed your birthday.
I know it’s been years but I still never forgot the date.
I wanted to even text you just once but I don’t even know if you are in the same country as me anymore.
It’s been years but I still miss waking up to your smell and playing with your hair while you slept.
Sorry for always being unstable and for burning the bridges you always built for me. It was all I was good at.
I still haven’t found a place to belong, but that didn’t matter as long as you were there. I’m sorry I didn’t realise that faster before I self detonated.
I’ve always been a landmine person.

I do wonder if you think of me, because I haven’t stopped dreaming of you.
Regardless, I hope you are doing well and that you are happy.
In the end that’s all I ever really cared about.

I still love and miss you.
Please be safe.

>>40126224
>Regardless, I hope you are doing well and that you are happy.

Only part I disagree because I want to be happy too

kek! tfw AI has been instructed to be "sweet" when delivering responses.

>>40126047
i like the nose part i love peoples little mannerisms and wish i could remember all of them. im sorry u had to go through this life is very cruel. i like how u hold onto the beauty of the person. i don’t know enough to comment elsewhere. comparing them to yr current partner probably isn’t the best but life is too hard. i definitely get it. idk you sound lovely. i rly hope things go good for you

>>40122394 (OP)
Op, does the person who ur sending this to know it's u?

>>40122394 (OP)
hope this works out for you, even if it may be a little crazy

>>40126730
i think she could piece it together based on the picture and some other things. we have both been pretty good at clocking each others 4chan post in the past.

>>40126768
i hope so at least. she may just not want to see it or be annoyed to not caring now about being friends. i really don’t know. regardless idk i wanted to try something and making another account to readd feels like a violation to me. i honestly did this and deleted the account. this may be a violation too and if she reads this im sorry. i just wanted to try something idk other than doing nothing but she may just need time which is cool or nvr wanna talk to me again which is fine too. sorry to dump so much

>>40122408
said by a bisexual

>>40126768
honestly, OP you seem like a clingy annoying cunt. If she doenst wanna talk to you, she probably has her reasons, no offense but you seem retarded

>>40122408
>Man is drowning and thrashing in a desperate attempt for survival
>"Desperation is liek..... heckin' gross and stuff!'

>>40127004
Sometimes you gotta move on

>>40127017
Some of our pools never drain

>>40127017
it's true. i just think i'd rather drown sometimes

>>40127033
>>40127030
The pain is real but one day you'll realize you can stand up!

>>40127038
yea but if there's any chance at all i can stay w this person i would rather sit with them. even if they're doing their best to lay down.

>>40122394 (OP)
>confession thread
I fucking love the smell of sweaty Indian girls. It drives me wild.

>>40127045
smells like curry. mmmmm

>>40127052
Yeah or something I'm not sure what it is because it's not exactly the same smell as Indian restaurants. But I fucking love it.

>>40127044
Take some time to look around in the pool, but not too much. If you're alone, it's time to leave it.

>>40127059
godspeed.

>>40127066
i'm aware. that's for the future though. for now i'm painfully aware of how beautiful they were and just how much i threw away. they were everything i ever wanted. they're strong despite immense internal turmoil.

>>40127079
I'm literally in your same boat.

>>40127070
Thanks anon! Tonight I am going to a spot that'll definitely have some Indian girls and I can't wait.

>>40126969
hmmm yeah probably rn i am being one. i’m typically the opposite and push ppl away really hard but this persons worth trying idk. it’s okay if she doesn’t want to talk to me. idk the conditions were if i removed her again she would block me permanently so idk what happened exactly bc i didnt do that but, idk i have been a cunt yeah. i am worried i like accidentally removed her or something so she blocked me. i rly hope thats not the case but, idk i dont have anyone beside one other person bc ive pushed everyone away and im used to lose but, idk i just wanted to try something instead of nothing bc person was special idc nona. wish you the best

>>40127690
and am retarded ik

>>40127017
yeah i can move on fine but idk just i have feeling we will be friends again and some effort is fine i think even if it looks cringe or is. idc i can sit on this body of water and look around before standing up and walking away it’s okay. sorry to be ugly to you

>>40127044
wait this isn’t me hmmmmm oh no

I love my gf but she is super low energy a lot of the time. Constantly cancels things just to stay at home. She wasn't like this before we moved in together. Not sure if I can deal with this permanently.

>>40127079
wait who are you hmmmm?

>>40128258
does she get anxious?

>>40128500
Sometimes anxiety, sometimes lethargy. She is working on it. I know she has energy in her, but if she only brings it out during conflict and is low energy when things are comfortable, that's kind of the opposite of me (high energy by default, but I'll just kinda wait for conflict to blow over). Unclear if we'll be compatible in the long run.

>>40128507
Does planning things in advance help at all? Or what of the spur of the moment plans?

>>40128514
Anything more complicated than taking a walk has a decent chance of not happening, regardless of planning. Working on it but I will have to make a decision one way or another by the end of the summer I think.

dear god please let things be good

>>40128368
ur not them so not saying

Stop asking about me. What is your deal? You ghosted me, I ghosted you back, we're done, it's over. It's been years you creepy retard. You only got what you asked for. MOVE ON.

>>40129114
say more about this situation it seems interesting

>>40129119
There's not much to say. I had a falling out with a (trans)girl ages ago. We have a mutual friend that I still talk to every now and then, who tells me whenever she has the audacity to have my name in her nasty little ho mouth, which is somehow still happening in the year of our lord 2025.

>>40122394 (OP)
>>40123078
my bf is abusive too... most of the time he's completely fine but about every 2-3 weeks there will be a day a two where he is just a completely different person. He'll become blood hungry, tries starting arguments, getting extremely mad over little things, will smash and break things in our apartment, and then if i do one small thing to make him upset i'm cursed at and berated and i can't cry or do anything because it will only get worse if i do. he'll throw things at me, threaten my life, hit me, and once he even cut me with a screwdriver. he treats me horribly and honestly feels like he's purposely taking it out on me. he's told me things like "i know you can handle it" and "i was testing you" as excuses or reasons why. i hate that i can't leave him but i can't stop loving him, he's so good and nice to to the rest of the time. he cuddles me and says nice things to me, i feel like i can be safe and honestly with him, i don't have that with anyone else. we have so much fun in our daily lives, we have very good friends too, and at least to me the place we live in is absolutely beautiful. i'm trapped and i don't think i can ever leave, i don't know why i can't make myself leave part of me loves him and thinks he can get better (things have only gotten worse though), but the other part of me hates and resents him for all the time he trapped me in hell for days at a time. I don't know if he'll kill me or not someday, but i still think even after everything i'll still be with him to find out if he will. i feel too mentally broken to even care, at that makes me hate myself more than anybody

Is everyone so alone, or is it just the places I look? I saw YouTube comments that seemed like old men sharing stories about fixing their motorbikes. No replies. Just some thumbs ups. That's so sad. No one that feels fulfilled and whole feels the need to share that shit with YouTube comments. Sometimes I think about starting a channel for some shit and then I realise if I just had friends to share it with I would probably feel fulfilled without a camera observing me in lieu of a friend

I have lots of friends but no one that I'm asking to hang out with I guess. I have people that want to hang out with me and I just get annoyed more than anything cause it feels like people don't understand. They make assumptions or try to go along with what I'm saying and it just doesn't feel right. I don't have people I want to talk to about how I feel. I have people that message me to vent or ask for advice, and I don't know who the fuck I'd actually willingly go to out of nowhere for advice

It reminds me of living in my own apartment and studying or working all day and then coming home and I'd be so overwhelmed by loneliness I'd fall face first onto the floor and cry or hide under my desk and cry. I just don't know how not to feel alone. I can't imagine what it's like to not feel alone

I hate language. I try read about philosophy and it seems like word games. I've been in the car with hundreds of strangers talking about stupid word games. Arguments that are just based on definitions. There's no way to truly connect with people, words are useless and so personal as to be meaningless for sharing feelings. Actions are just as interpretable and useless. We're all terminally alone because no one will ever understand anyone but themselves, and I don't even know if I understand that.

>>40129330
i’m sorry nona that sounds like my dad but he would only be nice once he had like hurt me a lot idk. i haven’t spoken with him in 6 or so years but im still really fucked up from it. have you read body keeps the score? i think it may be helpful to your situation. i’m really sorry for your current situation. i understand feeling trapped and like stuck. my dad used to do the excuse part but would always say im making him do it me idk. i still love my dad even though he hates me bc im a tranny and though he consistently engaged in hateful behavior toward me when he loved me. part of what helps me is to think the best thing i can do for him is to not enable his behavior. i used to think i had to let him do it bc he had a hard life too and our family went through a lot when my mom died but, idk in body keeps the score there’s a bit about how trauma survivors are like essentially addicted to trauma its a bleak realization but you have to break the addiction. it talks also about a study how mice in an environment with an unsafe home will still return there in signs of trouble even when a safer home is introduced to the environment pls chose the safer home mouse friend other options exist even they feel near impossible. we fall into comfort traps of hardship consistently. i really hope you stay safe and im sorry again

>>40128535
Oh nards, that sucks! I hope you two can figure it out but if not, try your best.

>>40128535
i’m sorry fren i’m pretty similar to yr gf but i have like deathly anxiety it’s embarrassing and it does make me rly sad i cant function for the sake of others. if it’s similar for your gf i hope you are patient with her and i hope for her sake she can live life freely. best of luck to the both of you. im sorry you are faced with a difficult decision

>>40129476
Well no how could you ever understand anyone? Every little thing they've experienced made them who they are, and I doubt anyone really remembers everything. Most people are lonely nowadays, or maybe they always have been and there were simply greater struggles to deal with than how one feels of all things. Almost everyone seems too afraid to be themselves, fragile beings. You might just have fairweather freinds though lol

>>40129109
i thought u were her for a second i was like that is very sweet lol its very sweet anyway good luck nona

>>40129476
Real... You have a voice kind of like mine. I'm fine rn but that stuff gets to me sometimes. The gulf of human experience &ppl's accumulated meanings seems impossible to bridge sometimes. Society kind of tells you it doesn't matter and the problem is in your head but i think it's worth working on

>>40127030
i wish i lived the life in that picture

>>40129722
>>40129764
Yeah I will do my best. When I say "end of the summer" it's not like it'll come out of nowhere, will be having conversations all along.

>>40129942
that makes sense. is yr gf nice?

>>40122394 (OP)
is this line? I miss you.

>>40130001
Yeah she is nice. But if things continue as they are now, it's possible she may be better suited for a lower energy partner, and me a higher energy partner.

>>40130044
they could make sense

>>40130035
not line sorry

>>40122394 (OP)
I'm tired of living and I hate everyone and I just want to fuck a prostitute or something. I'm sick of gender shit and also literally everything else

>>40131070
you don't even know what you want

>>40129476
i think stopping to understand others is love and very important. it can be hard and inaccurate words are like paintings idk like often missing the mark. a loving person gets this and makes time and can come to understand not through assumptions and their opinion idk. a lot of people get lost in language or like their own construction. i do but i hope i can look around and see things and be present with them and come to understand things and ppl i love and be good for them. good luck anon sorry if i miss some things or got them wrong. i hope u do good. it is a lonely existence the greatest act of our life is closing the distance between us and others being in the moment with them not displaced but one million distraction or lost in what we make up.

>>40122394 (OP)
I watched this show with my ex years ago, still miss him sometimes desu

>>40131088
That's exactly right anon. I just know I'm tired and sad

>>40130852
Indeed. Will see. Still optimistic but I do need more from her.

>>40131206
hmmmm i hope she does more. is she in therapy or anything for the anxiety parts?

>>40129212
What happened between you?

>>40131070
why a prostitute?

>>40131129
cute gif lol and that sounds like a comfy time. i’m sry u miss him

>>40129114
oh this isn’t me. this was recent thing for me. i’m sorry to make you think of whoever that was

>>40131272
isn’t who ever you are thinking of* bleehhhh

>>40131259
lol it’s ok. I’m pathetic, it’s been years since he left me and I still think about him. He was a weirdo sperglord autist 4chan dweller just like me. Then he decided he was gay and wanted to be a monk and so he left me :/
Why the fuck do I still miss that retard

>>40131259
I can't get cis women to have sex with me otherwise

>>40131335
i hope i'm not like you in a few years

>>40131434
Yeah, me too anon

>>40131237
Yeah she is, along with some meds. I definitely see a path forward, but it needs to be taken lol

>>40131335
idk you see based sorry he turned out to be a gay monk lol that’s kinda interesting but, yeah i get it it’s hard not to miss someone u were comfy with

>>40131434
mean >:(

>>40131471
hmmm that’s based it’s good to see a road forward. i want to try meds never tried them every therapist has told me to do them idk. working on ptsd stuff for the moment and getting passed around therapists bc everyone deems me beyond their capabilities

>>40131335
>>40131608
seem based* also u aren’t a retard lol u seem sweet and kind

>>40131129
id watch it with you :)

thanks too everyone sorry for the annoying thread

ty everyone sry again for desperate posting best wishes too all

>>40131608
>>40131625
>>40131817
Thank you guys for kinds words
>>40131817
I’m going to pass honestly I didn’t care for it, he was really into anime and I was really into him so we watched a lot of anime >.<

>>40132052
what would you wanna watch instead <3

>>40132200
Hmmm I don’t know I guess.. we could maybe find something together, if you wanted..? Do you have a discord?

And so, romance blossomed between these star-crossed lovers. Both having been let down before, both ready to try again. Love is in the air.

>>40132271
yeah! jamboreen

>>40131412
but cis wonen are nasty….

>>40131608
>hmmm that’s based it’s good to see a road forward. i want to try meds never tried them every therapist has told me to do them idk. working on ptsd stuff for the moment and getting passed around therapists bc everyone deems me beyond their capabilities
I highly recommend trying to get at least some of this well under control before you start dating. It will certainly make your dating life easier.

>>40132763
ty i already have a partner they are cool with it and almost as much of a homebody as me and ig bare with me on it bc i normally try but like have to like retreat bc like shaking or eyes tearing up or generally freaking out sometimes it’s an issue but it isn’t too often. i think know i really want to get over it for myself too it’s just hard

>>40126830
You're discriminating wrong, you're supposed to imply I don't exist.
>>40127004
>IF I CANNOT GET SALTY RUNBACKS ON MY FAILED RELATIONSHIP I WILL.... LE DROWN
self respect is a premium and you're gambling with pennies
>>40122425
as you say
>>40122436
doing this just pushes them further away
>>40123194
I suppose doublethink comes easy to you
>>40123237
It really isn't

>>40133533
i think it depends on the circumstances if it will push someone away. if i were in her shoes i may like that someone put in the effort and showed they are thinking about me idk. i do also have a history of flippantly blocking ppl unfortunately and being really forgiving even when i shouldn’t be. however if she made it clear that she hates my guts and never wants to see me again or if i did something beyond fucked up i definitely wouldn’t be trying this idk. i understand too if she sees this and ignores it or does actually hate me idk i get it but like i said with the knowledge i have i wanted to try something opposed to nothing. sorry to make the ppl annoyed by it so desperately worked up ;) idk

honfession

I walked ten thousand miles, ten thousand miles to see you
And every gasp of breath I grabbed at just to find you
I climbed up every hills to get, to you
I wondered ancient lands to hold, just you
And every single step of the way, I pay-hey hey hey hey
Every single night and day
I searched for you
Through sandstorms and hazy dawns I reached for you

>>40133533
>failed relationships
>salty run backs
Moid brain showing lol. I think op is trying to reconnect with a friend who blocked her

>>40135025
those guys are dweebs lol i do like their song in the wes anderson movie though
who is also a dweeb

>>40135073
yah it’s a friend idk

>>40132564
I wouldn't know

>>40129721
Some of the friends I had were good. It took moving countries, or moving to the other side of the country, to break it. I know I still have them if I message, but I got no one to message at like dumshit o'clock to hang out and do something. the people I've met that I did form that kinda relationship with were also all terminally lonely too, and usually for good reason.

>>40129721
I feel like without language it's easier to connect. We're all just human, different experiences in details, but broadly we're all the same, right? I guess what I miss isn't intellectual understanding but just actually interfacing with people directly, through a combination of words, actions, shared experiences. Any one of those fails and there's no way to error check without the other. I miss feeling like I belong somewhere with people that are like me.

>>40129721
I feel like I try to understand people but I get lost sometimes, or just have relationships where understanding only goes one way, either I take all their support or I give all mine. It's so strange to think about. I guess with a big enough circle, as long as everyone's needs are mean the unidirectionality doesn't matter. Maybe I just need to do better to build a friend group where I am with the people I have, instead of waiting to find one. I'd probably just feel like an outsider to an established group anyway

I'm surprised at receiving empathy and support instead of just being called a faggot, or being ignored, which felt more likely. It's kinda nice, thanks anons. Been sick and stuck inside for a week now and it's reaching a limit. I think I just really really needed to vent some sadness and loneliness. I do wish I could be stronger on my own and not have these moments

I'm sorry to anyone I become avoidant and dependent on. I say things with no inhibition when around you, yet I can never overcome what's stopping me from making a sincere apology.

>>40136054
Its OK

>>40122394 (OP)
what is the age and gender of you and what is the age and gender of the person you miss

>>40136921
28f and 30f

it's cruel, so cruel.
go on, just break me down, tear me apart, do whatever you want
i scream and shake my eyes grow sore. .but you keep holding me

its enough already

>>40136951
baka

im eating dosa

>>40137052
Not until I'm done.

>>40137152
Damn

>>40137095
blehh ik ik

>>40122394 (OP)
Who are you talking to

To be honest, the main thing I think about you is that I wish you wanted to spend time with me. And I just miss having you in my life in general. With that said, I absolutely don't want you to be around *only* because I want you around. That distinction matters a lot to me. So of course I simply don't bring it up when we talk, and carry on with my life as usual. This is just one aspect of life, not life itself, after all.

>>40137676
a fren
>>40137938
iktf pointing out is an aspect of life not life in general is a point im going to try n remember this more

>>40137133
what a dosa?

>>40136004
i feel like a 1 to 1 perfect understanding might be impossible yeah but idk rare times where we are present and in an exact moment w someone and trying to be on the same page are i think the most precious moments of our life. we are truly alone and love is the attempt to be there at all in our limited time. n sorry u are feeling sick i hope you feeel better anom :)))))

>>40135758
well if you get a hooker you will learn doubley so

>>40122394 (OP)
I'm sorry for having attachment issues and falling in love with you even though you never showed any interest in me. I'm trying my best to move on and be with other people but every time we talk my heart hurts and nobody makes me smile like you do!! I can't ever tell u this but you're maybe the nicest person I've ever met. :(

>>40137938
>>40139009
are these directed at op? or the thread has random people writing messages to others?

>>40139061
it's a confession thread not for OP only.

everyone is making confessions

I love you

>>40139401
everyone wishes this was for them but it's not for (you)

>>40139658
Yeah, I know. Nobody has ever said this to me in the romantic sense.
Not everyone gets to be loved. It is what it is.

merning

i miss jus even saying merning sry i didn’t watch a movie with u the last time u asked im literally such a retard blughhhhhhh

sisters i’m starting to think this thread was rly stupid and the hope is over also was rly dumb to begin with gl everyone

>>40141975
just add her and send her a message you dumb fuck.

>>40141997
she has me blocked

>>40141997
what if the ball is not in my court

>>40142017
we aren’t ballin :(

>>40142017
>what if the ball is not in my court
Steal it. There are a lot of people who let life slip by waiting for "the right time" or "their chance"... the right time is soon, your chance is when you make it.
Perfect moments are rare, the right time usually never shows itself. Don't wait for that. Do the best you can, and bring what you have.
And if it's not enough, at least you know you tried.
Don't be one of the many on the sidelines.
Thinking you can keep hope alive by hiding from pain is mistaken.
Hope has an expiration date, use it before it turns to rot.

>>40142789
hmmmm should i do more than this thread if so wha?

>>40142842
Reach out directly instead of doing this squishy bottom shit.
And mentally brace yourself because it might not go well, and that's okay.

>>40142856
she has me blocked

>>40142918
Find another way.

>>40142942
frennnn idk isn’t like another account or something to contact someone harassment?

>>40122394 (OP)
my relationship is going to fall apart, i can feel it. i think i still love her but i don't know whether i can take being with her much longer. ive sacrificed so much for her and i never minded, but now she's in a better living situation and things haven't really changed. shes still burning through my savings, she still has screaming crying breakdowns. i don't blame her. i never expected her to get better overnight, that would be unrealistic. but im no longer able to take care of her like i used to and i can feel it wearing me down. ill catch myself thinking about other people while i hold her, or snapping at her over nothing. ive told her some of what i feel and it destroyed her, and it destroys me to see her like that. itd be hard but i know i could move on. she couldn't. i wish she hated me. i wish she could find someone better. but she refuses to leave me, im all she has. the hardest part is that i know she's trying her hardest to get better, she needs my help and my patience but ive already given her all that i have. it's so unfair on her. i don't know what to do.

sorry for rambling

>>40142957
They could get a restraining order or something.
But if you think it would come to that if you reached out, is this really even worth doing?
Sounds like you already know your answer if that's the case.

>>40143159
ramble as u want fren and that does sound like a very tough spot. i think being honest with her is the best thing if you are holding her and thinking of others idk. but also it does sound like you are honestly conflicted idk. maybe help just to a point where you can be honest with her im really not sure or fully make up your mind before being honest. what all is she doing to get better and does she have a job or like supportive family?

>>40143222
wait what do i know the answer?
i dont think it would come to restraining order lol but it is like a violation of trust? or something? boundaries? i think she is worth respecting that boundary i think my posts in this thread go as far to the line i think i should. is that squishy bottom stuff? idk some stuff you do have to let go of in life not going to hurt her farther by like my desperation of not wanting to let her go but like i will do whatever dumb stuff this is ummmmmm i think she may also just want time or something or to prove a point how much it sucks being blocked bc i blocked her first or hates my guts idk

I miss spice
I want spice back

>>40143228
her family arent physically abusive (anymore) afaik but they are pretty horrible to her and she has to manmode around them.
she's on neetbux at the moment but shes started applying for jobs too and shes talking about saving money and trying to repay me a bit
in so far as getting better, shes a little less reckless with money, she usually cooks and does laundry and she treats me to things occasionally when she can

im really pushing her to get professional help for her mental health asap too.

its all my fault really. my own mental health has tanked and i need more from her than she's able to provide. theres also a part of me that resents that i gave her so much, which is so unfair because im the one that made that choice

>>40134360
You don't build a stable relationship on flimsy foundations. If it's touch and go at the beginning what could possibly possess you to want to make it work despite having all evidence that the relationship just doesn't work well? Except for desperation, of course.
>>40135073
Funnily enough makes literally no difference. Actually that's not true, it makes the desperation even more off-putting, who grovels over someone they just chat and play games with, or whatever. They didn't even make you cum, learn some fucking boundaries maybe then people won't abandon you in the same way they throw away dripping trash.

>>40143359
i agree i think time and respect are necessary sometimes. especially if you've been doing alot lately. for me what helps is setting a long term goal/state i have to attain before i can reach out to them again to both give me something to look forward to/work towards instead of just the vast blank space of forever.

>>40143728
idk we did more than just chat and play games. it was a strong bound i’ve never experienced with someone else and i don’t think you would get it bc you are too coomer brained. it was a strong foundation im literally jus a retard person who can’t function and be normal and do normal things. idk it seems like you are making assumptions about things because your desperation to think you are right :3 do you really think i’m groveling?

>>40122394 (OP)
Let's play a game, it's called "Refuse to double-text and let's see how many weeks it takes for them to decide you're worth spending so much as 60 seconds on to send a message." So far we're up to 6.

I love this game, why do I even bother trying with this person.

>>40143790
this make sense but i think it just hinges on her ever unblocking me i don’t think i can ever go through with making another account to message someone who blocked me it gives me the ick. maybe ill make another thread in a month or something lol if i do not here from her by then but idk she is really worth the world and more effort than i could give but yar there’s just not much i can do beside wait n see. ty for helping me fren

>>40143820
You're asking the right question at least.
The next step is to stop.

>>40143159
That sounds tough anon :( how long has it been like this?

>>40143830
i agree. a block is pretty final. in my situation they just unadded me in one spot but nowhere else. means i can't be the first one to reach out for a very long time :p

>>40143855
hmmm first one to reach out? how’s that work?

>>40143872
?

>>40143877
if they unadd u in one spot you can’t be the first to reach out? like somewhere else?

if i didnt have my gf i might actually be dead right now
i hate my fucking life and every aspect of it
i hate everyone
i hate how people like me enough to talk but never enough to hang out
i hate how i put in effort and get none back
i hate how im told nice things but it never materializes
i have a single person that gives an actual fuck about me and shes all i have in this world and i hold onto her and cherish her but its so lonely when shes not around
and still i force myself to behave and not act clingy because i dont want to push her away
but im alone right now and crashing out in my room and crying because of the loneliness
its not like i havent tried
i simply have failed in spite of my efforts

>>40143849

tough to say exactly. i think the underlying feeling became noticeable maybe 3 or 4 months ago? but there were periods within that where i felt better

>>40143886
uh. idk ig i could add them back at some point. i'm not blocked. i have them on other stuff as well but idk i haven't really thought that far bc i'm not rlly planning on reaching out any time soon.

>>40143904
& how long have you been with her?

>>40143907
ohhhh i see

>>40143945
coming up on two years now. we moved in together very early, just before a year in, but without getting into details her housing situation was horrendous and i took the opportunity to get her out of it. i dont regret that at all.

ig its worth mentioning shes the only person ive ever had a relationship with

>>40122394 (OP)
I confess that I think white men deserve a bit of credit. Listen. I ain’t denying that white boys got problems. But white boys aren’t the only ones with problems, and white boys have done some cool shit too. That’s all I’m saying.

I fucking hate not having nicotine

i cant deal with the names anymore. please just call yourselves normal things

>>40122394 (OP)
I'm gay but I date a tomboy who wears mens boxers and she fucks good so I don't even give a shit.

>>40144552
That name kinda goes hard but it's no Katherine

Me di cuenta desde el principio, en españa tienen expresiones muy distintas a las que usabas y no hablan en español roto ^^, pero fue muy lindo y me gustaba la atención.

>>40144885
what do you mean by this?

>>40145041
Nada, estoy loca @.@

>>40145055
hmm nar im crazy

>>40144885
the translation
s are weird nd im half asleep pls dont be messing with me if you are her

i'm sorry i was a piece of shit girlfriend, i wish i could've been better. i never meant to hurt you but i still did many times. i'm sorry

>>40129114
>>40129212
just talk to me you're here again and you always post whenever you see me. you know I love you don't be bitter I'm sorry

my friend never showed interest in me when she was single and im salty still so I keep her at a certain distance

I love a lot but I'm a shitty romantic partner

>>40145587
Sorry anon, I don't know any 's' and you spell too goodly to be her.
Good luck with your person though, sounds like a rough one.

>>40147490
don't be like that

>>40122394 (OP)
Closeted boymoder here who looks like a woman. I am planning to go get my new photo taken for my license renewal soon and I realized it's possible they may refuse to let me take a picture because I don't look like a man. I was reading about stories like that. Fuck.

>>40147607
eeef good luck i need to get a new license too i hope this doesn’t happen to me :(((( also why not girlmode?

sorry for making the posts i made they were gross and irresponsible. u want me gone n that’s okay. i hope u live life the way you want. everyone who called me stupid is right and i’m giving up now. i keep dreaming about you interacting with other people who are gone from my life too and you all keep secrets from me. idk we live in bleak circumstances and i hope i have the strength to detrans and somehow do anything justice, and serve purpose that isnt so selfish as me being caught up on all the misfortune, and not be caught up on what i think i need. to hopefully not be known and less of burden on people than i am already on the earth. sorry and good luck there is a lot of beauty and comfort in the world and i wish all of it for u and sorry i couldn’t be better for you

>>40150114
kys

>>40152411
they probably aren't talking to you..

>>40152557
yeep yeep

nothing ever gets better

>>40155055
john lennon says it's getting better all the time. he even stopped beating his first wife and child

My gf barely gets any pleasure from her prostate and needs it to be literally crushed to have any form of stimulation, it feels like we can't have truly good sex because of it

>>40155153
is it really like i’m beating u i hate myself

>>40122394 (OP)
I should just die.
I'm just burdening everyone else and i lack the moral character to suppress it away.
Even posting here forces someone else to deal with the burden of perceiving me.
I can't exist like this, no matter what i do I'll always be a worthless tranny first.

>>40155207
it's ok i hate myself too

>>40155220
will u pls talk to me again

>>40155218
you are based i promise. idk if moral character is what suppresses it idk im not in the right headspace for this rn. you are not a burden and glad you are expressing yourself and feeling but there is a lot of comfort and beauty in the world and love to share with others even if in indirect or distant ways im sorry nona

>>40155218
Just become a pounding pet

I found a tranner I really liked, came on too strong and she ghosted.
Still upset over it.

>>40155241
idk who you are friend. the only person i'm not talking to unadded me so they'll need to add me back first.

wish you all the best

>>40155308
if you are her i didn’t mean to unadd you again if that’s why u blocked me sorry if you aren’t her sorry we talked about the beatles a lot idk wish u n everyone the best too

>>40155287
what is a pounding pet?

>>40155342
definitely not her sorry love. just another beatles fan

>>40155363
otay sorry do u have a favorite beatles song?

>>40155342
You become a guys pet that he pounds whenever he wants. You don't have to think or be a burden

>>40155384
probably elanor rigby since i was a kiddo.

>>40155299
i’m sorry it’s the tranners loss i bet u are rly nice

>>40155404
that’s a really good one are u a john or paul beatles fan?

>>40155406
Thanks, she's probably doing fine though. She seemed great.

>>40155439
i'm a george stan actually (despite elanor rigby being a paul song) i really like george's songwriting alot better than john or georges and it temds to be a bit more human and relatable. i feel like john and goerge were often just stuck in a dick measuring battle w eachother it got too technical and they lost touch with the human experience.

>>40155481
based take he definitely has the best post beatles album and i’m glad he got to have some of their best remembered songs like here comes the sun. it’s sad he didn’t get the encouragement he needed in the band. he wrote a lot of great stuff but if more supported there could have been more idk sad stuff it also sucks that if irc john and paul ended up making more money on his songs than he did bc they also owned a lot of the song writing company they were under idk

>>40155560
yea music biz is nasty.

>>40155583
lol john stinkers… do u play music?

>>40155602
badly yes

>>40155621
hmmm that’s rly based. are u looking for friends?

I'm way too old for you and we both know it and we both know we both know it, but I can't stop myself from falling for you. I can't get you out of my head. Talking with you is so easy and free and puts an enormous smile on my face. You're so cool and fun to be around, and so knowledgeable and smart and infodumpy, and you're so god damn cute and fem that I can only just barely manage to respect your enby pronouns. All I can think about is your eyes and your smile and how badly I need to kiss you in a late summer breeze under the moonlight.
I know this is weird and fucking cringe and gay (pejorative) but the vibes I get from you are simply unreal, and I don't want to have to ignore them until they go away. You feel important and rare. To turn away from you, I think, would be a colossal mistake.
I am pretty sure you feel it too. Please let yourself give this a chance, no matter how long it might take.

>>40155637
thx! not rlly online friends i feel like it always fizzles in the end. i'll probably leave you on delivered in a couple weeks unless you live nearby and we can actually go do something Real like going to the beach or hiking or something.

>>40155678
nuh it’s okay lol also as i’ve shown in the thread im literally a crazy person so probably not the best to befriend me anyways. good lucks

>>40155676
is it an amab enby or afab?

>>40155747
amab

>>40155765
They like black metal?

>>40155720
im also a pathetic and anxiously attached person i understand. you spawned one of the biggest, nastiest nongeneral threads on the board in recent memory so you have that to be proud of lol. gl

my confession i wish these nigga really new how philly worked like north philly niggas aint the asme like these nigga say they comign but i aint see no post code no street signs no nothing tf tehy doing internet gangsters

>>40155823
nah lol it’s embarrassing like i said in the op but idk i think i just got what i needed and will hopefully be better the world really is filthy. ive been fucked my whole life so i have an excuse tho that still isn’t good enough but a lot of ppl really have got no reason to be preying on others. desperation is way better than thinking you are better than others. in my humility there is a lot of strength once i lose the complexes there is a lot of hope. i know i can be independent and live on my own too unlike others. i know the strength i have to survive or whatever sorry to schizo post but idk feeling better lol some people really will just stomp on you when you are at your lowest as someone addicted to trauma i always put myself in that position hopefully i move past it good luck

>>40155287
I can't, I'm too ugly and not lovable even as an object.
And i still have to try and live up to all these expectations that i will never be able to meet.
I will never succeed but i am cursed to an inability to fail completely and free myself .
I need a way out

>>40156552
What makes you ugly

despite your pettiness. it’s still open if u ever wanna be friends idc sorry to be mean and petty myself. i forgive u lol last thing im saying bye everyone good luck glad to talk about helpful stuff in the thread where i could but sorry to everyone for being nuts. mwah mwah mwah :p uhhhhhhhh :3kn0ra

/thread

it hurts realising that people think significantly less f you that you thought they did.

>>40156878
ily

>>40156878
>>40157036
also yeah it does lol

Is the OP of this thread like text book bpd?

i was a terrible friend. you are better off without me. i am the problem of course. but I know now. everyone deserves better than me, i have nothing to offer. we were such good friends before i ruined it, thinking about it makes me sick. i am beneath you. i will be alone the rest of my life now, i deserve this. i hope he makes you happy

>>40157296
i will still be yr friend and do my best to help heal everything i can sorry for being so crazy and mean. u aren’t terrible and if you don’t wanna be friends that’s okay too. u have a lot of based qualities and really are special and are a joy to be around. you are very talented and a natural with the mediums you work with. you have a great knowledge of film and music and art. you have interesting thoughts about them. you have shown me a lot of care too much i understand if it burnt you out but you are good at giving it. idk you have lots of good things and i know you wont be alone forever and if you feel you are you and don’t wanna be u can come back and be my friend but even if you don’t do that ik you won’t be alone forever

>>40157296
this had to have been bait lol….. right?

>>40157296
will u watch spirit of the beehive

>>40156630
Early transition shit.
No laser so black spots mar my face, my hair is too short and the hairline pretty fucked cause i haven't had time to sort that.
This is not an issue of money but time, because I have to constantly push myself elsewhere.
I tried to join the Marines and my body is still overbuilt and my thoughts too encoded into that way of thinking.
I can only look nice in brief moments and it's not passable but it'll be years before i can pursue ffs while I wait for midshit HRT to work in whatever small way it can.
And I need all of this while still trying desperately to build a life my family might respect even if they end up hating me for being a tranny.
But I still cant just quit and force myself to manmode forever, which would be the moral thing to do, save everyone the embarrassment of being prefaced as a tranner

>tfw exactly one word too many

>>40157705
huh?

she’s making fun of me with her friends