QOTT: What's the hardest substance you've ever had?
last thread: >>40089190

>>40128719 (OP)
no substances, not even alcohol

how do you reppers have fulfilling relationships with the opposite sex of your desired sex

>>40128771
You don't

>>40128719 (OP)
weed, like twice with friends

>>40128719 (OP)
Not hard, but nicotine pouches are really good btw

>>40128719 (OP)
i am straight edge

What copes do you guys have to endure it? I spend so much time at work and don't know what to do

I will always have gender dysphoria and I feel kinda bad about being a man with gyno but I probably had to take hrt to feel content in my maleness. I wont ever take it again, but it probably helped me be able to truly repress and be done with all of this

>>40128719 (OP)
One tall skinny autistic crossdressing repper GF to feminize and plow and cuddle
-man

The fact that you all are here on means there's still hope you'll all get on hrt eventually, and that makes me relieved. It's the hardrepper normies who've never set foot here or on Reddit and fill their lives with work, food, drink, and drugs to push away the tranny thoughts that worry me.

>>40129028
i was like that, i actively avoided any trans content and people because i thought if i just ignore it my thoughts would stop
i think most reppers like that end up killing themselves without most people knowing why (or the real reason)

>>40129028
yeah the kind of repper that ends up here is the type like me who gets obsessive over it and eventually breaks. the ones who don't even approach the thoughts are the ones who actually manage to do it long-term

I WISH I WAS A WOMAN

>>40129028
Does reddit even have reppers? or a repgen equivalent?

https://youtu.be/dWf9OitX56U?si=m7Gr4RTZjcumgTPZ

>>40128719 (OP)
take your HRT, retards

Have you tried being gay, while letting yourself talk in a thick fagcent?

>>40129460
maybe, do you even pass?

>>40129622
no, and you might or might not, either
cope and take your fucking pills (or shots or whatever)

>>40129627
so why did you do it? whats the point

>>40129642
to alleviate my dysphoria and feel more comfortable in my own body, in large part because I watched you dumbasses keep rotting in threads like this and agpgen getting worse and worse, and it worked

>>40129648
and if i wont be happier? and it wont solve my problems?

>>40128719 (OP)
i'm not even that fun and I've done coke a couple of times, kinda surprised nobody here has really done anything
>>40129460
no
>>40129461
yea it's going badly

>>40129658
well you don't know - that's a possibility, you can't just take HRT and stay in the exact same broken mindset while doing literally nothing else, but taking the hormones does a lot to give you a better place from which to work on the rest of your shit

we have hard data saying that you'll probably be happier, anyway

>>40129423
Maybe r/AskAGP lol

>>40129678
i should just kill myself, i cant even begin fathom how i will get out of this hole i dug myself in, to many other problems, sorry

>>40129698
nah that's gay
take your HRT, retard

>QotT
Plenty of weed in college
Shooms several times in college. That shit saved my life by lifting my depression for damn near a decade. It also helped me jump so deep into the closet that I forgot I was trans. So, uh, Ill call it net even.
DMT a few times. That shit is crazy but way too short. The universe unraveled around me.
Ecstasy once. A former friend gave it to me without me knowing when I was already blitzed out of my mind on alcohol and weed. I had asked for some ibuprofen due to a mounting headache and he thought id enjoy it. I... sure as fuck did. Cuddling & making out with with my friend and his girlfriend on their soft bed was probably more pleasurable than sex! But I was so pissed when I learned what had happened that I immediately cut all contact.
>>40126064
Thank you. Im getting closer to a solution, but the urge to detrans comes back to me whenever Im under stress because... even tho things were tangible worse for me, it was simpler and less overwhelming. Being a dude is a familiar pain, so to speak.
>>40126108
That may be a good path. Unfortunately his autism results in him struggling to make friends. Im hoping to move to a big city soon and kinda force him into socializing. He complains a lot on the side about our relationship and clearly sees it as dead, so if he could find someone who actually loves him that way (I still love him, but not like that, not anymore), it would be better for everyone.
You'd be surprised btw how much $$$ 2 kids and a non working adult chew up. But we have our hobbies and thats part of what keeps me sane. I pretty much can pay for anything anyone in the house wants to do without thinking too hard on it unless its absurd. My weekly budget for personal spending for the whole house is around $600 - and I rarely spend on myself because I grew up impoverished and am happy with little things like books and drawing.

>>40129700
then what? i will take my hrt until i look clocky and like a freak and i get kicked out and just kill myself like i can do now but in a more shameful way

>>40129724
or you could stop being a little bitch with this irrational doomerism
you literally all sound the same and make the same excuses lol

>>40129734
im sorry i wish i could see your viewpoint, maybe transition is just not meant for everyone. sorry

>>40129756
don't apologize to me
take your HRT

>>40129769
i will, if it ever arrives. but if it doesnt work i will just kill myself, at least then you wont have anything to say

>>40129778
keep trying and don't give up

>>40129788
cant promise that, at least i will try

>>40129664
>yea it's going badly
what have you done so far?

im probably an autistic incel who convinced HIMself that estrogen is going to fix his problems, im faketrans and should kill myself before i count as 41%

>>40130323
do u like men?

>>40130332
no

>>40128719 (OP)
just alcohol, I don't want to try drugs because I would probably like them too much

>>40129461
no gincel I have not, I don't even have a fagcent anymore and I have no desire for sex/romance with anyone while in this body

Waiting for WW3 to start so something happens to end it, probably nothing will happen though who knows

>>40129678
>the hard data only says "probably"

God damn I hate people

>>40128719 (OP)
I want to kms with either a repressor or manmoder. we could hold each other's hands as we cut ourselves. and I could be fucked while being forced to read an old suicide note.

I wouldn't even care, as long as they're not beyond ugly, and hurts me.

>>40131425
whyy no you shouldnt do it, please
i would buy im ugly

Are you a gameplayhon?

>>40131469
Have to fake so many things. What are you really repressing in the end

>>40131469
what the fuck does this even mean

>>40131469
Is this meant to look like a heart monitor? Because all those vtuber women playing games basically have a panic attack when something hard or scary happens.

>>40132080
>>40131524
Not op but it's effort over time you spastics. Male effort is more stochastic due to testosterone driven bursts of rage.

>>40132238
It could also be performance over time. Vertical axis is ultimately open to interpretation but you get the point

>>40131469
>>40132238

New brainworm just dropped

>>40131425
I'm sorry you feel that way anon.
What's going on today? What are you doing tomorrow?

>>40132838
>191 lbs
If only!

>>40128719 (OP)
The only time in my entire life when i felt no dysphoria and i felt confident and able to exist without caring how i was perceived was when i took molly

>>40129423
Yup its called transrepppers lots of sc from repgen but some original content i lurk their when its dry here

>gf tried to get me to go to pride today
>we're both straight
have i really been found out already? we've haven't even been together a year!
dating was a mistake

>>40129028
One of my coworkers is an alcholic.
He talked to me about his old crossdressing habit one time while out drinking.
I often wonder how many of us are out there, blissfully unaware of the cause of our misery.

remembered when a trans girl tried pinkpilling me a couple years ago
i should've listened then

>>40132838
God that's cute. I just want a strong muscular futa oni barbarian wife who can pick me up and cuddle me.

>>40128719 (OP)
idk I probably railed meth once or twice but it wasn't intentional

>>40132838
Real. Who's the artist I need the uncensored version

>>40133276
i finally manned up and talked to her and she fucking suspects me
but the reason is because when i get out of the shower i have the towel up around my chest, like i have boobs
thats it
i just said i learned it from my mother without thinking and i think that's convinced her
i hate myself
i hate my body
i hate my facial hair
i hate my jaw
i hate my balding
i hate my miserable existence
i cant even wear a towel to hide my flat chest in the mornings now
i wish someone would run me over already

iwnbaw

>>40132265
It's how gameplay looks and feels from an outside observer you just have to intuit it from the graph. AFABs have a more holistic approach to gaming. AMABs have a lot of masculine micro-behaviors that are easily clockable.

I go between thinking "having a dick is convenient" and wishing I didn't have it

I'm going to be alone until the day I die

>>40133949
https://www.tumblr.com/stedilnik

>>40134339
Thanks friend

should i break down and tell someone i want to troon out but i'm to scared to

>>40134284
having a dick is humiliating

>>40134379
I can't tell anyone. Because I don't believe it myself.

>>40134393
if i told anyone they would just think i'm a disgusting old man (which i am)

>>40134388
It's weird, but the way I feel about it is almost like guilt

>>40134219
Bro she supports you and somehow you still rep.

>>40132838
This is probably a stupid thing to complain about, but I don't know how to deal with being attracted to feminine guys.
Kind of bothers me a lot actually.

>>40134605
whats the point when ill never pass? when nobody else would ever accept me? when ill never amount to more than a pitiful imitation of a woman?
i need to break up with her before she can get to me, i cant risk dating another pinkpiller
actually, i should just stop dating entirely, nothing good ever comes of it

>>40134803
Okay now this is going too far, you can't break up with someone who loves you because she loves and accepts part of the real you. That's just making yourself miserable for no reason.

the real pain of it all for me is the wasted time, when i was very young theres always this sense of still having time to fix all your problems so you are on track to hit the ideal milestones in your head. theres no way now for me to ever be in my early 20s as a girl, even if i turned it around right now id be over 30 before anything even started to work, that thought is so crushing that it paralyses me and prevents me from acting. its too late its too late its too late

every thought i have it all comes back to hearing the clock ticking. when i was 24 i felt old as fuck, now id do anything to have those years back. and i know im just going to feel that every year i waste for the rest of my life.

>>40128719 (OP)
Smoked some weed, it was laced with pcp. I smoked a whole joint and began developing auditory, physical, and visual hallucinations. I had never been so scared in my life, not even my mushroom trip, where I had tripped out, was that scary. My boyfriend began crawling on the ceiling and running around the house in my eyes, and had been screaming at me like a monster; I thought he was trying to kill me. When I finally calmed down, he had told me that I was the one screaming and that I was trying to run away. He had sat at the end of the hallway, just to keep me calm, because every time he moved it looked like he was crawling on the walls towards me; he was the only reason I began to calm down, because I know the laced trip would've lasted a lot longer if he wouldn't have been there. Genuinely wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy, I had and still have never been so terrified in my life.

>>40134850
>real you
if i stop dating people assume im a faggot
if i do date people try and pinkpill me once they get too close
and im not even dating you but i can tell what youre trying to do
some secrets are better left as such

>>40134991
I'm a repper too, I just see you panicking and trying to fuck up one good thing in your life.

>>40131469
It's so stupid. Why can't I just accept I'm a malebrained man

>>40135008
what are the chances it would actually turn out good in the long run though?
be honest
we all rep for a reason

>>40128719 (OP)
I’ve had ketamine and 2C-B, both of them did literally nothing to me lol. i love alcohol tho

I really cannot relate to anyone. No one at all

>>40135095
Higher than the chances things will turn out good without her. I'm not telling you to let her take you to a pride parade or put you in a dress, I'm telling you not to freak out and break up with her.

i want a pussy i want a pussy i want a pussy it's not fair

>>40129423
r/TransRepressors. It's mildly active. Maybe a post a day.

>>40128719 (OP)
>Risperidone, Olanzapine, Chlomipramine, >Paroxatine, Haldol, Thorazine. Been on them all.
Is this a nice sexy blouse to pair with tights?

bump

>>40134284
i'm lowkey into cbt always was

>>40136024
you mean tights and skirt

>>40136350
is it a nice tunic? Its for a medieval reniaissace larp.

>>40129461
wish i could do it like that femboy vid on /gif/

>>40136415
yep
i think the skirt will have to be long then

opinions?

>>40136439
don't do that :(

>>40136427
>i think the skirt will have to be long then
the tunic is to be tapered as high as possible.

>>40129003
imagine wanting to hang out with a man after crossdressing just for some validation and sending the wrong signals letting him feel your freshly shaved thighs and stuff and finding yourself getting held down and aggressively bred with half a consent

>>40136463
I deserve it.

>>40136439
stupid

>>40136439
Do you regret doing it in a place everyone can see? All mine are upper arm, chest and thighs where people can't see them.

I saw some post saying how romance was basically a spectator sport for them now and that kind of hit hard. The only romance I've had in 2 decades has been books anime and video games. I'm too old for romance now so I'll just keep watching and reading about other people finding love as I become more and more bitter and lonely as time goes on.

>>40136475
>sending the wrong signals letting him feel your freshly shaved thighs and stuff and finding yourself getting held down and aggressively bred with half a consent
I am upfront with what I want. You're the female bottom-brained one who wants to act all innocent. You probably want cuddles for hours, before and after too

>>40136995
damn if I could find that for myself..

>>40129184
i dont think ill break anytime soon
i like my male body just enough to not transition and im mentally stable.
like why would anyone be a hon when you can be an emotionally dead 6'4 white dude

>>40137027
Yeah for me I just want to be a cute anime girl which is 100% impossible no matter how much HRT I take so I'll just keep being a man and come here every now and then to complain about it.

>>40137035
based!!
I will do the same.

>>40137019
Post an unsee, princess. In sure you're cute and cuddly girly already

>>40137035
complaining about being a man on here isnt enough for me anymore desu. I wish i still talked to the trans girl who tried to pinkpill me, instead of cutting off all my queer friends

being tall is hell, thats the one thing i cant fix

The cure for gender dysphoria. A man can hope it will exist soon.

>>40137085
Sorry friend. It's bad enough being 6'0 I can't imagine being 6'4

21, got the gel and bica but just can't commit to taking it, it just feels too weird
How to take the leap and actually commit to the medicine

>>40137533
what feels weird about it?

>>40137540
I've always been scared of change and this is a significant one
It's also really stepping out of my comfort zone, I've always tried to be discreet and not stand out, being a troon will certainly change that even if i boymode till i die

>>40137571
you'd be amazed how little you stand out, even as someone this board would call a totally unpassing manfaced hon (me). most people are too busy with their own lives to bother about anyone else's

>>40129716
My SO admitted last night that they only want me if Im on T OR I've had SRS. Potential SRS is so far down the road and I'm not even sure if I want it.
I have so much regret. I spat out my HRT into the sink drain last night without swallowing it and skipped my dose this morning.
Im detrans. I cant handle feeling alone anymore. Im choosing numbness... then probably death.

>>40137282
I mean its doable. For 6 months i barely had any dysphoria and i was happy with being a boy. Only this past week have i started feeling dysphoric/suicidal again, probably cuz uni ended and i no longer have any distractions.

>>40137580
Sorry for the delayed response
I'm so narcissistic i find that hard to believe but ok lol
I guess i haven't fully figured out my identity yet either
I don't see myself as a women but as a feminine guy, i'd like to have a cis women face and body except for the breasts
I got messed up by femboy furry porn at a young age, and i've always seen my own beauty through a feminine lens

>>40137720
you can always take hrt and meme yourself into getting a mastectomy later, if you truly hate having boobs

>>40137729
I though about it lol, this or keyhole surgery
Poonmaxxing

>>40137750
this is what i'm working with
>you have dysphoria
>you have hrt
>you don't want all the effects that hrt will have but you also don't want to potentially continue to masculinize
i say do it. i wasn't sold on the "having boobs/identifying as a girl" thing before i started hrt. i just wanted to stop being obsessed with crossdressing for sexual reasons, and i wanted to make sure i didn't start malding. at first it was weird to me, to have boobs, but it is fun, and you'll probably get used to it, bc it is fun to have an erogenous zone there

>>40137809
Yup you got that right, I'm scared as shit of twink death as well sooo yeh, i just wanna be a cute and desirable boygirl or girlboy whatever I just wanna feel pretty
beside people having to look at it, I think the idea of having tits is neat, having a more female sexuality as well

>>40137840
once you get in the habit of taking your meds, it seems like way less of an earth-shattering cataclysm. i've never had gel prescribed so idk how often you have to apply that, but i do subq injections so i only have to worry about it once a week

>>40137862
Two times a day with testosterone blockers, maybe I'll switch to pills if that's too much to keep up, eurofags like me don't get subq sadly :'(

Bisexual men are gross, I don't think I could ever be attracted to a bisexual guy

>>40137903
>I could never be attracted to a bisexual guy
why not, did they hurt you or something?

>>40137903
I think they are generally sweet as long as they aren't the sexual predator ones, which most aren't

>>40137918
To be fair, I think it's 4chan that soured me. You have a lot of turbocreeps who behave like pedos and try to advertise themselves like "chad conquerors". Bisexual men just seem to have a gross worldview half the time.

Honestly slowly feeling good about myself as a man. I'm pretty cute. There are good things about masculinity. I think guys can be hot. I wont make a good woman. I tried and it's not me. I just need to be myself and forget about all this bullshit gendered stuff. It can be fun to play into some aspects of masculinity. Some aspects are toxic. I just need to confess my life story to a therapist and make my own way in life, and then I will find true happiness. Throughout my life, the risky option was always the wrong choice, and the option I didn't want to take that was safe, turned out to grow on me and later clearly the right choice. Basically transition is the wrong choice and being a man will grow on me overtime. But that doesn't need to be boxed into gender boxes nor does it mean I need to like all things or embrace all aspects of masculinity. I just need to make my own way and live life how I want not giving a fuck about how other people see me.

Last night, I had a dream that I woke up and looked into a mirror, and my face was really feminine, and even my bedhair looked like a cute hairstyle. In the dream, I saw this face and openly thought "Wow, if I look like that, I should just go ahead and transition already."

And even though I spend more time in femrepgen because I want to feel better about masculinity, posting that I'm feeling more comfortable being a man in there feels like bullying

>>40138108
but what if you could be cute? wouldnt you want to risk it all on being a cute girl? in a way that doesnt need to grow on you, and just feels right?

>>40138153
I could possibly be cute in some aspects, but in most i would undeniably male and I would never be a real woman nor could I or nearly any tranny that transitions post puberty could pass in all ways. and ironically transition causes dysphoria to be worse in some ways because it was front in center everyday and I'm forced to think about it. so no. It doesn't work that way.

>>40138181
I feel like if I go down that path I'll just have the worst midlife crisis wondering what could've been

>>40138181
>but in most i would undeniably male and I would never be a real woman
These things are purely social and mental phenomena, im just saying that its not really masculine to have to force yourself into begrudgingly accepting masculinity? it's like you're trying to push something into a place its not meant to be, i feel like most actual guys would see through that and think its weirder than the ways you mightn't pass, and wouldn't that be healthier for everyone?

>>40138215
I think I dont have to worry about that because I tried to transition. I dont have to wonder what could have been. I experienced it, and it wasnt for me.
>>40138223
I dont have to try to be masuline. In some ways I am undeniably so. I think most trannies are if they are honest with themselves. Ive put up up a front over many years that just comes second nature at this point. I just need to break down the aspects I dont like and be more myself

>>40136995
you don't have to for my sake you can leave me permanently scarred and scared of men even the man inside me so i become a bigger failed male than i was before
afterall it is my fault i wasn't socialised properly for bottom brain and didn't realize even with my ugly state i was messing with someone's breeding instincts

>>40138135
>makes you feel worse about femininity and better about masculinity

Smart

Chasers are so fucking disgusting

>33
>have mild cognitive impairment from head injury
>broke
>parents fight constantly
>NEET
>No education
>GD
>2 suicide attempts

Where's my arc?

>>40137891
the pills would probably also be 2x a day (i started hrt with sublinguals + spiro, and that's what i had). don't ever give up. one day you'll become the feminine furfag you are

>>40138515
>>2 suicide attempts
what for? a real man only need one
maybe you're an attention whore like >>40136439

>>40137594
Don’t you have children? (If you’re the anon from the other thread.) Please don’t die…

it's embarassing to admit, but cosplayers at conventions send me into a doom spiral. i almost ended up crying in public once over it

>>40138772
do normies still go to cons?

if i tried hrt twice already what's gonna make attempt 3 any better
i feel like i'm never gonna troon and it's over for me
holy fuck i want to cry

>>40139107
anime is more mainstream than sports among the gen z crowd, of course they do

The hardest part is the thoughts of sadness jealousy longing and depression. Objectively life is easy mode and should be easy to be happy. I just have to fight off my demons

i want to be a woman so badly. i can hardly look at any woman without thinking about how i envy her
it make me reluctant to even leave home. it's too depressing seeing women outside and being confronted with everything i'll never be

>>40139665
>Objectively life is easy mode and should be easy to be happy.
iktf
compared to most people i have it easy and i'm whining about how i can't be a cute girl

>>40139744
>i can hardly look at any woman without thinking about how i envy her
i think about how i'm a malebrained autist because i don't behave like real women

>>40139926
>i think about how i'm a malebrained autist because i don't behave like real women
yeah that's what i mean by 'being confronted with everything i'll never be'
observing the contrast between genuine, unaffected femininity and my autism is painful

ever think how it's always wanting to be a cute girl and never wanting to be a mature woman

>>40139744
I wish i had a cure for envy. It has ruled my entire life

>>40140002
>yeah that's what i mean by 'being confronted with everything i'll never be'
except i don't really want to be like them i want to be my own person

>>40140013
yeah because i'm agp and want to be my ideal idea of a woman
most guys probably don't want to be fat old boomers either

>>40138729
Yea... two beautiful little girls. Ive given everything for them. But every path leads to grief. I havent been able to take my hormones today because Im stuck in how disgusting I feel. My SO isnt the only person who would see me that way - as some strange untouchable in-between. Im choosing a life of loneliness by transitioning.
Im not resolving to suicide. But I know I chose to transition because I had been driven to the brink. I only see death along every path. Some are longer than others, but its waiting for me all the same. There is no brightness in my future.

aah fucckk i've drunk all my repression alcohol and wont be able to get more until 10am tomorrow

>>40139178
>anime is more mainstream than watching a bunch of literal multi millionaires play sportsball
society is healing.

>>40140163
If presenting as male caused you such distress before, i can’t imagine going back to it would be a positive thing for you. Not taking your hrt may be a way of self harming almost. I don’t have a solution because i have low self worth and self-destructive inclinations as well, but i’m sorry you’re in such distress. I feel it could only get worse if you give up on transitioning, though.

Last night I had an AGP dream where my penis got replaced with a vagina. I felt stressed about how big of a change it was, but at the same time very excited. This coincided with me very mildly harming myself today for the first time in almost half a year. It feels like I'll never be a normal person again.
I don't consider myself a repper (I'm cisgender), but this felt like the most relevant general for this.

>>40140013
I'd like to be a mature woman. Many girls my age are "cute", so if I were female I'd likely be one also, as even in my male form I tend towards a cuter (not feminine) version of masculinity.

i feel so faketrans because my dysphoria goes up and down over months from "i need to kill myself because im a man" to nothing... dont know what to do

>>40140473
It wouldnt make me feel better, but my life would stabilize at least. The kids dont deserve to have their life destabilized the way it has been. I don't know that Id ever find love for my SO again, but I can at least pretend to be the man he wants.

>>40140655
i sometimes have nightmares about losing my dick or it shrinking or something and i absolutely hate it. i want to keep my dick and i want it to be bigger

confusing thoughts like this is why i should rep harder

>>40140875
NTA but burning yourself up so others can enjoy the warmth isn't a good idea either, anon

>>40140872
Does it really get to actually nothing or do you just dissociate from it

>>40140913
I try to be kind to all transgenders and affirm them all but this really is incongruous with being a woman. Do you feel you are feminine other than wanting a big shlong?

>>40141199
i think you can be a woman with a dick. i just am ok with my natural genitals and dont wanna chop them off or lose them

>>40140925
Thing is that I've already burned myself to cinders. I built a fucking cage for myself and every way to handle it hurts me grievously.
-continue transition, try to uphold disintegrating marriage, fall to pieces by being in close proximity to someone who cant stand to even touch me, probably break after some new awful form of degradation and die
-continue transition, dissolve marriage, SO kills themself, I wind up with both kids, become overwhelmed, likely lose job or just break down altogether, kill self, kids are now orphans
-repress, try to act like man again, try to salvage relationship and ailing career, definitely kill self due to dysphoria

Its all bad. There is no route that doesn't end with me alone or broken. I have no social safety net, I have no one to help with the kids (my family disowned me when I came out, most of my friends stopped talking to me and those that still do live in other countries)... I can barely handle the girls with another adult in the house as is - being by myself would break me in less than a week.
Like, its the kids. I love them to death but I cant handle them.

should i transition

>>40141536
you should start HRT and laser for dysphoria but otherwise keep repressing. also consider pioglitazone

If I am over three years on HRT, legally changed my name to a plant, and legally changed sex to nonbinary, then can I still be a repressor? I dress like a guy and have short hair and go by my original, male name. I also have no surgeries.

>>40141199
dont know i just dont think about it at all and even if i look in the mirror i dont mind, but its only like 30% of the time for a period of 2-4 months

>>40141617
>legally changed my name to a plant
Hey there Rhododendron, how are you doing?

>>40136416
which one?

>>40141557
>you should start HRT and laser for dysphoria
>but otherwise keep repressing.
manmoding is transitioning

>>40141617
>changed my name to a plant,
daisy?
poppy?
wheat?
ivy?

>>40142019
jalapeno

>>40141664
you're making me feel so euphoric... <3

Going by board culture, I can't relate to any of these people

oxycodone xanax mdma lsd shrooms dxm dph thc trazodone

>>40142761
thats great, but nobody asked boymoders

AGP porn is actually just as boring as normal porn. Just want A cups and soft skin now

How does it feel when you remember your window for passing closed when you were 13?

>>40142730
Then you’re like most actual woman

My true gender is hung ripped bisexual girltwink with small or nonexistant boobs

I AM VERY DYSPHORIC

i am a fucking retard and iwnbaw and i can't transition

>>40142923
Don’t be all doom and gloom. Age of transition dne passing. Anyone could be a luckshit but mainly most are clocky even when starting young so we should all just do whatever we want

i just realised, i don't even think im dysphoric i think im just mentally ill and destined for suicide

>>40142931
wife

realizing how bad my mental breakdown was

DPH but soon going to be doing meth wish me luck

>>40144332
stop doing both of those things

>>40141791
idk never got a name and never saved
its not even posted that much

>>40142761
May I ask why dph for me doh was scary and didn't have a good high

>>40128719 (OP)
IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY IM A GUY

When people call me bbg or refer to me as a girl, I always feel so happy inside for a split second. But then I remember I'm not a girl, I just wish I was one.

My genetics won't allow it.

>>40144344
It's just for me personally being high is way more fun and life just isn't even good when sober and I once got sober for a girl but she fucking cheated so I relapsed I kinda realized there's no point

qott: i dont do drugs. #xvx

>>40142953
same

>>40144370
You're a girl retard

>>40144332
lets do meth and call eachother pretty

>>40142923
it feels really really bad, thinking that I was gonna magically grow out of this and choosing to do nothing about it is my single greatest regret. It irreversibly destroyed any potential path to a life I would enjoy living.
>>40142950
this is such cope and you know it

i deserve a pussy

>>40144944
Do everything in your power to get one. I love mine and touch it for comfort throughout the day

>>40141427
I vote option one, but don't try to uphold it. Try to let yourselves grow apart gradually.
I'd say that most people in this gen are actually volcel and it's the least of our problems. Just think of him as a roommate until you both grow up and can handle separating on good terms. Things will never go back to the way they were before regardless of what you do.
Self-harming to turn yourself into an emotionless husk will not help your kids. Despite being a lifelong animal lover who always had a ton of pets growing up I can barely get up in the morning to feed my aging cat. Once he dies I'm not getting another pet because I don't trust myself to have the energy to really love and care for them anymore. Kids need a loving parent that cares about life or they'll turn out fucked up.

>>40142953
Dysphoria is a mental illness and the treatment is hrt and transition. Other mental illnesses have different treatments too. Please exhaust all avenues and never give up hope because life loves to change on a dime. Praying for you anonette

>>40144994
i don't have money and i would look horrible with one

>>40145028
No one else has to know. Having a penis is great too though so …either way

>>40144995
They have an emotionless husk anyways. I cant be me around my SO. He is already a roommate essentially and has been for a long time...

my left nipple is bigger than my right one

do not take estrogen

>>40142929
No, not at all really. I just don't relate to people insulting their partner and calling them faggots and the overall bully and humiliation fetish culture that's inherent to top bottom stuff.

>>40145338
Yes, homosexual relationship dynamics seem very strange and unhealthy to me.

>>40145390
I know consent this and that, and they say they like it and get off on it or whatever. Just doesn't really mesh with how I view things though

>>40145501
I suppose I should be more precise, not homosexual relationship dynamics *in general*, but rather specific tendencies such as the top/bottom dynamics appear to not be very loving and quite often borderline abusive.

>>40129184
true, i'm just here because i want that to happen

I'm going to figure out a way to use this constant longing as fuel for my art career
Genuinely think once I figure that out then I'll be unstoppable
I can never be physically who I wish I was, but by god I can become really successful
People WISH they had obsessions as deep and long lasting as this

>>40145871
what kinda art do you draw?

how do I make myself happier?

>>40145889
I want to make stuff like the pic I posted

>>40146062
it ain't bad I guess

if I ever drew I would draw random gay bullshit of my favorite series

>>40136469
im trying to go for a look like this in tights.

it makes me incredibly angry when I see retarded internet celebrities posting about how they want to """protect""" dysphoric kids by banning them from medically transitioning before it's too late.
I genuinely believe that anyone who wants to condemn kids to become like me will burn in hell forever.

>>40146314
The core of it is that they don't think you're real, their cultural-religious belief is that everyone, by default, thinks, feels, and identifies, exactly like they do, and they had to be tricked into any differences they have with said e-celeb's identity.

>>40136024
is it AGP or fetish to start anticipating how one looks in woman's clothing & getting giddy about it?

everyone hates everything and everyone else and you're supposed to not see it

>>40146314
i really believed them that i would grow out of it when i was 17. it's been ten years since and i haven't grown out of it. i haven't even managed to turn it into a fetish FUCK

>>40146336
sometimes I fantasize about larping as a former dysphoric kid who outgrew my dysphoria without transitioning until I get popular enough as a grifter to get on some popular anti-trans live show, I could seppuku live on air and forever traumatize everyone involved with the fact that I existed
The thought of thousands of normies gawking at my disgusting man face on the news sounds horrifying and I care about my family's reputation too much to ever actually do that though, real reppers die boring quiet deaths for undisclosed reasons

>>40136024
imagining how this would look on my disgusting hulking man body causes me distress

>>40146660
>imagining how this would look on my disgusting hulking man body causes me distress
im sory

>>40146925
don't be, it's not your fault
imagining myself in a body that would look good in it makes me happy

>>40146314
If the kid is under 12 there's a chance they will stop meeting the criteria for gender dysphoria.

really big fan of waking up with tears in my eyes and staying on the verge of crying until the last moment before i knock myself out to sleep

I WANT TO BE AN ANIME GIRL WITH ANIME BOOBS AN ANIME PUSSY AND ANIME HAIR

Your future self is screaming at you and you cant hear him

>>40147902
i have no money, no job, i need meds to live and my parents hate troons

i hope my future self has his shit together.

>>40147905
I have money but I live with my parents and am too retarded to troon

>>40147902
mogs me

>>40147905
in about the same position; if I have a future self at all, I'll be surprised

>>40147902
i am 24 years old and look exactly like left.

I don't know what I feel 90% of the time. Am I sad? Angry? Dysphoric? I have no clue. Everything just feels like a haze and I can't discern anything unless it's in touching distance, and the things I do feel are muted.
I guess this can be an advantage, because this way I can ignore my negative feelings better. Anyone else?

>>40148634
That's depression for you.

Still not sure where I stand, on one hand I wanna troon out to the state of femboy and be a pretty guy and wear frilly pink stuff and thighs and don't stress about being a "giant in bed, a man's man", on the other hand I'm soon to be 30 and too big to be a fem"boy" and need to fix my body a bit too and I'm not sure if femboys are frequent after their 30th birthday, on the third hand, I'm never be a real man and no guy would love me as a gay so maybe I should be a girl instead. I starting to feel like some hybrid with genetic matrix of AAP/HSTS/AGP, just wish I was a roided muscled huge dicked top but now I'm looking for another way out

>>40131469
>>40132238
>>40134238
Completely deranged comments.

>>40146314
You’re projecting your own experience onto unrelated children’s experiences
Trannies are so desperate to push hormones onto kids as early as possible purely because of their own regrets and desires, NOT because of the kids feelings on the matter
It’s similar to parents who force their children to become ballet dancers or learn the piano even when the kid hates it

I exercise minimum 4x a week to keep my slim body, but I’d still rather be even an out of shape slob of a woman than this

>>40150045
Let's not pretend that if you asked them and what they said disagreed with what you think they should say, you wouldn't start screaming about how they're brainwashed. You say this every time, from trans issues to religion to animal or color preferences.

>>40150217
Keep pushing your regrets onto children, I'm sure it'll only have good effects for everyone and how the rest of society sees us

>>40150757
i wish the trans people i met as a minor on the internet pushed their regrets harder on me, they didn't so now i am a worthless repper as well

>>40150774
>I wish I was groomed therefore so must these children

>>40150787
>yes i want more people like the posters in this gen

>>40150787
maybe if we had better mental health care nobody would need the fucking grooming

>>40150757
Keep dodging my point, faggot, you know exactly what I said and that it's undeniably true.

>>40147367
it wouldn't make me incredibly angry to say that 12 is too young for an accurate diagnosis because it probably is and waiting a bit longer than that probably won't cause irreversible damage. I'm talking about people who say dysphorics should be forced to wait until 18, or even 25 as I've seen some particularly sadistic individuals say.
>>40150045
I'm not a tranny I'm a repressor, but I was a dysphoric kid once. I don't think that they should be "pushed" into it either obviously, just that they shouldn't be banned by the state from seeking out treatment themselves.

>>40151606
tranny

I for one am glad I didn't get groomed more, as I would have ended up a 6 foot tall lantern jawed hon who meets a grisly end getting hatecrimed walking home from work

>>40152034
take the repperpill, retard

>>40152085
no way, fag - been there, done that

>>40152092
im not a fag im a cis man and im going to overcome this

>>40152034
how am I a tranny if I've never tran-sitioned?

>>40152241
LOL take your tranny meds, tranny

>>40152253
what are you repressing?

DECIDE THE FATE OF THIS RETARDED REPPER!
I can't stay still any longer. I need to either troon out or man up already.
The problem is that my opinion flip-flops on the daily, going from "I have some luckshit potential" to "it's never been more over" in a matter of hours. These thoughts have been haunting me for years now, and it is apparent i'm unable to make such an important decision on my own.
So, I have come to the repper council to be judged. Please cast your vote and tell me if I should troon or repress (bonus points if you give me a reason why I should do as you say)
Whatever side has the most votes by the time the thread is archived wins.
Here's what I'm dealing with:
>19 years old
>6'1
>broad shoulders (less bad with good posture)
>massive browbone
>androgynous face overall (as in my face could pass with a ton of makeup)
>apparent adam's apple
>androgynous hands
>feminine wrists
>average hips
>long legs
Another detail is that I will be completely unable to troon out as long as I live with my family, they are REALLY nosy and will find out, possibly kicking me out.
I'll be able to move at the end of this year (unlikely) or at the start of next year (around march, most likely), wtf would I do while waiting?
>inb4 post unsee
no

>>40152241
>im going to overcome this
No you won't. It never goes away.

>>40152273
I'd just move on to manmoding personally, you can judge after a year or two whether you can keep going or if it's really not possible.

>>40152273
take your HRT, retard

>>40152260
dysphoria over my male body and intense longing to be a woman

>>40152312
lol
tranny

>>40152256
im not a tranny in a cis man that thinks being trans would excuse the failure that i am and give me a new chance in life, idont have dysphoria, im faketrans i just dont want to be human at all not just not being a man

>>40152362
ok tranny

>>40152377
i dont have dysphoria, how am i a tranny

>>40152273
hrt it will only get worse. i waited from 19 to 22 and it ruined me

>>40129000
i wish taking hrt as a man was normal

>>40150089
i look down and think my body is pretty ok but then i see my face and remember iwnbaw

>>40152362
same

i'm going to cope by trying to induce dreams where i'm a woman

>>40137891
am back and still havent done it hahahah i still cant jerk off anymore it scares me now

>>40128719 (OP)
anyone hate gay cis people?

>>40152750
i do it might be part of why i wanna troon (i wanna sleep with cishet guys but will nerve be able to)

i hope my family finds my hrt once it arrives and kicks me out, finally giving me the courage to kill myself. it would solve everything

>>40152750
no, but it makes me uncomfortable how they're more naturally feminine than I am

im not trans, i cant feel emotions i cant cry i cant be happy i can only want to kill myself
im not even feminine in any way im just a failed male that liked the attention and now i should kill myself and cut losses

>>40152750
I'm attracted to guys, but I also really hate them

>>40152777
>>40153128
What I fucking hate is being attracted to feminine guys, even just fictional feminine characters and it's like I know I shouldn't be and that's massively taboo. Because I only want to ever be the one getting fucked.

>>40153787
Men are scary.

>Trans friend called me a retard and to take my HRT
>block them

yeah eat shit BITCH.

>>40153814
Every read xianxia and other Chinese pop media? They love their feminine/androgynous, but dominant men. All those cultivators are pretty as fuck.

>>40153860
No, I've given up on it and accepted I'm wrong.

>>40146210
ok lets see the outfit
damm how goofy does the guy look if i'm learning ballet no way i'm doing it in the guys role lol

actually i'm pretty sure most men secretly want to be a woman

>>40146660
how hulking we talking

How should I handle anger? Whenever I feel angry about something it leads to this cycle of self hate and dysphoria as the emotion feels masculine and disgusting

>>40154156
Anger is no way a "masculine" emotion. It's pretty goddamn gender neutral.

>>40154021
6'2 and 18in from shoulder to shoulder
it's beyond over

>>40154268
i have the same shoulder width and i'm shorter but i'd still try it and wouldn't mind even with a flat chest and offset the shoulders with fluffy skirt

>>40154268
>>40154388
I have a niece who's like 5'5" and she has 18" shoulders. So it's not like it's completely over at that size.

>>40154388
>and I'm shorter
>>40154436
I either don't believe you or I measured wrong, my shoulders feel gigantic and I don't believe a female could have them without it being some sort of obvious deformity. I've been "complimented" on how broad they are before.

>>40154534
yeah same size would look bigger and goofier on a smaller person

>>40154559
maybe so, but not being a gigantic man who towers over everyone makes up for it

i love crying because i can't be an anime woman

I need to be short drop hanged and raped on public television it's the only solution to deal with faggots like I am. Why was I born like this why did nurture do this to me? Was it MEANT TO BE that I was to end up a despicable fairy who RECEIVES? Why shouldn't I be killed for my insolence

>>40155095
Why should you care what some Jew has to say about anything?

>>40155095
thats hot though
tfw not shamelessly effeminate enough for people to give homo erections so that they want to rape and kill me out of their own embarrassment

i hate being a fake human

>>40144370
you are just as insecure as a little girl

>>40155110
If what is being said is right I don't give a damn who said it. Besides it's protestants who did the jobbery not the jews

>>40156190
>It's right
Why? Because a Jew said it?

>>40155575
me too anon, everything seems so empty

>>40128719 (OP)
reminder to take your HRT, retards

I wish I could summon conjure good liquor with my mind instead of having to walk to the gas station and buy literal trash because the store is le closed

>>40157434
can you write something more groomeresque, i want to feel accepted, not just damned if you do, damned if you don't

>>40157658
>damned if you do, damned if you don't

please let me die in my sleep tonight

new thread
>>40158240
>>40158240
>>40158240

>>40153814
>>40153128
gay guys aren't feminine, they're gay, there's a difference