Has your isolation made you a more unstable person?

I'm fucked up mentally from being isolated for so fucking long. I don't think I can recover.

>>40501263 (OP)
yea I basically have never had friends in my life and haven’t talked to anyone outside of work for the last 8 years. I think I’m relatively mentally stable but I feel like I can never be a normal person now

>>40501263 (OP)
No, getting a job and being forced to interact with people all day every day has been immeasurably worse for my mental health. I've begun to develop agoraphobia-like symptoms and have become more socially avoidant than ever before.

>>40501321
This. The more I interact with the public, the more I have thoughts that I am a god trapped in a meat puppet and the world isn't real, because a real world full of conscious beings couldn't possibly be this stupid. The only explanation is that it's a construct full of NPCs made specifically to contain me.

>>40501263 (OP)
I think I’m okay, like year 1-2 were the rough ones and I think that’s more of the shadow work and sleep deprivation I was doing making me go schizo more than isolation, although isolation made that easier, but I’m very avoidant of people still now with working everyday

>>40501263 (OP)
Yes. I have been isolated for so long. My body hurts. I just ordered Estrogen for the first time and it better make me feel better because i'm going insane. I feel like this is not real either and that i'm controlling a meat robot. Dissociating every day.

i don't think i have exactly been isolated, but i did not make or speak to friends for the last five years (aside from online) and only saw coworkers and family in person. i didn't realize until i got home from school this summer, but i have no idea how to interact anymore and i am terrified, panic-stricken thinking about going out and meeting people or getting a real job now that college is over. i have no idea what to do. it's been a month since i've been home and i haven't even applied anywhere half because i am too scared that i'll actually get a response and have to go in for an interview.
through my fieldwork for school i accidentally made "friends" with two people and now they both have my number and i am so scared that they'll want to talk to me forever. they are both so sweet but the idea of having two whole relationships to manage is horrifying. it takes me like an hour of cathected focus to figure out how to respond even to their text messages.

>>40501484
>an hour of focus to figure out how to respond to their texts
Just respond? It's not that hard
NO WAIT NOT LIKE THAT
YOU RUINED IT
WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING

I'm isolation maxxing as an AVPDer
>get really into growing various plants
>get really into yard work
>gain animal companion
>become one with nature
>make dinner with my vegetables that I grew
>peace

>>40501513
when you put it like that i guess it is pretty stupid but i also don't want them to think i dislike them or am weird even though they definitely already think i'm weird
i wish i could tell them i don't want to know them but how do you tell a person you don't want to know them????? how fucked up is that

>>40501484
>it takes me like an hour of cathected focus to figure out how to respond even to their text message
omg this I honestly wish ppl would just call me texting is an anxiety nightmare for me

>>40501548
this sounds so epic nonny do you have a job and if not how

>>40501576
calling is even worse for me anxiety-wise but at least it's immediate and when it's over it's over
with texting you never know and i hate it

>>40501574
>>40501576
The trick is realizing nobody cares. Like everyone is really selfish, and in 2025, ADHD brain rotted on top of that. They probably forget you exist for most of the day until something jogs their memory. Random people you meet on the street will inject you from their memory the moment they turn their back. If you're lucky, people who like you will see something funny or interesting and think you would like to see it too, and that's what most "friend" texting consists of. Sending memes and shower thoughts back and forth.
If you DON'T want friends, then just don't reply. If you're forced to interact at work, do the bare minimum. They'll either get the point eventually, or they are also autistic and you just live with it. But you shouldn't be worried about people being butthurt at your lack of reply or the tone of your messages, because fuck em. They don't even give you the same amount of thought you give them. They fire and forget.

>>40501654
Yea exactly calling gives me anxiety but it only lasts the duration of the call, texting anxiety seems to go on forever
>>40501694
you say that but once I ran into someone from college and they complained that I ghosted them three years prior (was not intentional I just had a panic attack), people remember more than you think

>>40501263 (OP)
It made me strange in a off putting way yeah

>>40501827
>I ran into someone from college and they complained that I ghosted them three years prior
But did anything happen from that?
You lose a job because they were the interviewer? They physically harm you? Did they even actually complain in a negative way, or just mention it and ponder at the reason because they missed you? You only have to feel shame if you actually did mean to continue the relationship with them. If not, then who cares? Like are you still talking to them now?

>>40501874
I can’t make myself not care what people think and I’m saying ppl genuinely remember the weird shit you do so the anxiety is warranted

>>40501910
And I'm saying the anxiety is only warranted if them having a negative opinion of you actually influences your life somehow. Bet it doesn't.

>>40501932
ofc it messes up my life I don’t like other people knowing I’m a mentally ill mess

>>40501947
you seem completely unable to recognize the difference between practical, tangible effects, and your own imagination. I recommend meds.

>>40501694
i think that you are entirely correct but it is going to take me a lot longer than the length of this post for me to internalize it
the good news is i do not live close to either of them as i went to school in a different state so maybe it will be easier to apply this concept

>>40502021
It happens naturally around age 35

>>40501263 (OP)
https://youtu.be/Jz-oBtwKxHY?list=RDeooi_nLx43o

>>40502000
my thoughts are real I know these things don’t impact my life in any measurable way but its just how I am

>>40502047
here's hoping i'll be ahead of schedule, then :p

>>40502053
>she thinks therefore she is

>>40501263 (OP)
yeah i have come to accept that even though my life can improve, it will never fix that i was undersocialised and spent so long isolated
i will never be normal or feel comfortable

Ive had severe agoraphobia since i was 15 and im a stupid tranny, i have no friends and yeah its made me worse mentally. Im probably going to kill myself