>engaged
>fiance wants to have A wedding
>can't invite family because they Don't Approve of my drugs and surgery and dating a man and it would be a mess
>have no friends directly because I'm not into women and on drugs
Am I crazy for thinking this would be incredibly awkward? My fiance's family is great, I love them and they'd be there and it'd be fine but would it not reflect poorly on me to invite literally no one?

>>40604031 (OP)
You know you can just get married at the courhouse, right?

>>40604038
I suggested that and he doesn't want that.

>>40604031 (OP)
just bring it up to him in a very realistic and no bs way
if he wants a wedding so his friends and family can be there then so be it
but make him understand and accept that this is for him and you have nobody to bring to the table

>>40604278
I did. He seems to partially not get it and to think that my family loves me (not wrong) and that it would be ok if they're there.

>>40604031 (OP)
could you do like a casual backyard wedding type of thing? if his family has a house that can accommodate that

>>40604340
does he not accept the explanation that your family despises your current life and partner? maybe they "love" you like they don't you blown up in a ditch somewhere kinda way, but if they wouldn't want you to be as happy as you are with your current man then they still have no place at your wedding

>>40604620
He's straight so I think these sorts of things are harder for him to get

>>40604633
maybe have him meet your family with you first so he gets how evil they are and why you don't want them at your wedding

>>40605001
He's met my mom briefly, albeit before I transitioned and there was a problem.
They don't live near me so it would cost $1000-2000 just for that to happen

>>40604031 (OP)
i think your overthinking it anon. If his family likes you and you cant invite anyone i think theyll just see that as a reflection on your shitty family and not your own charecter

>>40604633
>he’s straight
X doubt

>>40605034
so he saw the problem with them in person and still wants to invite them out? girl wtf, I'm not gonna be some tiktok devil on your shoulder but you gotta put some sense down on him that this isn't going to go well
>>40605036
also this

>>40605049
Please don't derail my thread with semantics.

>>40605036
I'm a loser.

>>40605076
No he didn't. He only met my mom prior to transition and before our relationship deteriorated, so he didn't see anything.

>>40605197
do you have any examples of this deteriorated relationship that you could show him?

>>40605700
They're mostly phone conversations, so no, other than recounting them, which I do. He just says "they're having trouble understanding" and "they'll come around"

>>40604031 (OP)
Just tell him they dont want to come and refused

>>40606692
I wouldn't lie??

>>40606827
There is no ideal situation here. You just have to pick the least bad one. If you want psychos are your wedding invite them, if you don't sadly you have to either lie or make him understand. And if he sold to them whatever the consequences of that discussion are you have to live with too.

It's not my life but I would just lie if you're no contact. Anything you do will reflect poorly at this point

>>40606595
could you get him and you on the phone together with them, so he can see how shit they are to you?

>>40606999
They act fine and just call me a guy but lose it when the issue of my gender comes up or if they see how I look, or if they're reminded I'm actually with a man.

>>40606893
Think I'll just not invite them and tell them why and tell my fiance that

>>40607030
>They act fine and just call me a guy but lose it when the issue of my gender comes up or if they see how I look, or if they're reminded I'm actually with a man.
video call them and tell your fiance to she/her you the entire time
if he's straight and loves you enough for marriage this much should be easily doable for him

>>40607030
Omg girl I was giving you that advice. But you just described my situation perfectly I'm sorry if I seemed harsh or anything.

God they're so in denial, my family too and I hate it. Anyway, I get it anon and I'll probably have to do the same when my bf proposes. He has a big family and his culture loves weddings it's going to hurt

Good luck and I wish you the best with him girl

>>40607169
You too, I hope he understands

>>40604031 (OP)

The husbandsfamily that show up to the wedding (just by being there) that they are welcoming you into the family as this is what marriage effectively is.

It isn't negatively reflecting on you that bridesfamily doesnt arrive if there is none. For all they could know is that they died in a plane crash on the way or quite literally in your sense, excommunicated you.

has no one of this generation watched a movie where a couple gets married in vegas?

>>40605049
There is a difference between being straight and heterosexual.

>>40607968
Is it not damning that I'm not even going to bring any friends?