Thread 40695068

have you ever wrote a suicide note?

Im not feel too well anons. I don't think things will ever get better. running in front of a train sounds so lovely.

>>40695068 (OP)
Call a hotline or something, dumbass
There's nothing after death, things will remain as they are, you're cutting off the chance of things getting better
And if you absolutely must, don't traumatize countless people by jumping in front of a train. Have a modicum of human decency

>>40695068 (OP)
yep. 41% club. It was pretty fucking cringe if I say so myself.
Maybe, if you feel like you're going to do it, wait a few days to be sure. No need to rush such an important decision. Also agree that you shouldn't do it in front of a bunch of people like that

>>40695082
I'm not going to kms this very second anon. But I've been considering it.

plus with the way the country is now, I bet a train driver would be delighted to see the mangled corpse of a disgusting tranny. Im very high right now, sorry if this comes off as retarded.

>>40695068 (OP)
>have you ever wrote a suicide note?
yeah. my suicide note is esentially a diary i update everytime i feel like killing myself. it has my thoughts from how i felt when i lost all of my friends, to the oldest one, when i was being bullied in school. it's several pages long and it has a dedicatory i might change or not depending on the situation
i'm 23 and the moment i first started writing it i was 13. i guess the fact i've been feeling like dying for so long and yet i haven't is good, but everytime i have to update it, the urge to make that the final version gets worse

>>40695068 (OP)
try new things, it can help a lot. i use weed to cope sometimes now and i'm not necessarily proud of myself when i do it but it's a hell of a lot better than being dead. it can and will get better, just take it as easy as you can and don't be too hard on yourself. best wishes.

>>40695082
theres nothing for some people desu. like this world is insanely cruel to even passoid trannies. imagine being a poor hon too. some people arnt cut out for it mentally. i dont know why we dont have more compassion for people who geniunely wont make it and have severe mental illness they never learned coping skills in time for.

I live meters away from a train track. A month ago I was working from home as always and I sit with a window to my left. I hear the train slamming brakes hard, I look left and theres this kid on the track. Slam, I litearlly saw bits of him flying out. Train stops, people pour out. I walk out there and im the first to see the guy, arms legs and the head gone, not even that much blood. Train driver said it's his first. Theres no way this didn't hurt like a motherfucker. Later it turned out the kid was 14 and his mother had to look at him like this.

TL;DR dont do the train

>>40695182
Bitch, I'm a mentally ill tranny myself. I can drag myself through this shit, so can anyone else. It's not about compassion, it's about grit, and surviving in a world that wants to see us bending the knee and failing
>>40695131
Don't give up. Never give up. Show the world the middle finger for as long as you can

>>40695235
some people have worse lives than you

>>40695068 (OP)
I seriously can't stop fucking crying. I feel so awful.

>>40695257
Some people have better lives than me. Is that an excuse for me to give up?
>>40695301
Cry as much as you need to. Crying is good. Cry your heart out, but grit your teeth and get back on your feet. You endured this far, you can keep going. Believe in your own resilience.

>>40695326
some people have worse lives than you

>>40695365
you said that already.

>>40695326
i havent endured shit everything good or beautiful in my life has been ripped away from me and it is impossible for me to even find respite in my own body or my own head
theres no point. theres really truly no point

>>40695378
Then make room for yourself, in your own body, in your own head. Make a point to make an effort for it. Give it your all. But GENUINELY give it your all, until your legs give out and you can't walk anymore. If you're still posting about it, it's because somewhere deep inside you believe there's a small chance things can improve, and are looking for someone or something to push you in the right direction.
Here's the thing about killing yourself, that no one will say outright: You can always come back to it and do it.
So, knowing that it's always gonna be an option, why not leave it as a genuine last resort? Explore every other avenue until you're GENUINELY out of options, and then decide again whether you want to do it or not.

>>40695422
im out of options i cant walk anymore and i want to do it im only posting because im mentally ill and starved for attention

>>40695068 (OP)
i have written and destroyed/deleted multiple. the current version is very simple and, i hope, nonchalant enough that the reader will not feel worse or as though i for some reason sadistically intend for them to feel worse after reading. i want to offer closure and let everyone know i love them and that it isn't their fault, but not be too presumptuous re: i-know-you'll-blame-yourself or i-know-you'll-miss-me or i-know-it-might-be-hard. i don't want anyone to feel as though they should feel something they aren't, or possibly, if they actually hate me, then hate me more for assuming they love me (which i realize is insane and exactly the kind of thing that WOULD make someone feel worse, but that's why it's written making no presumptions. just i-love-yous and i-made-this-decision-myselfs). it has a little section at the end in which i've willed a few things and made last wishes (like i want my stuffed animals burned to free their spirits or i want myself buried naked and coffinless, if not thrown right out in the woods etc)
alongside it i have a few pages of just feelings i've vented out progressively whenever i'm sad and feel like writing. i dunno if i'll leave those or get rid of them when the time comes.

i feel like i should do the good thing and tell you that it really does get better, because i honestly, truly believe it does for most people, but i know how you feel. when does it get better? who knows? i don't know if i'm really willing to wait it out. but hang in there, nonny. as long as you can.

>>40695068 (OP)
A couple, got rid of them before attempting. Killing yourself is selfish enough, wanting attention for it just seems excessive.
captcha: 2JAW2

>>40695068 (OP)
You kill yourself and transfer all of your personal and likely personally caused problems onto others to suffer with for the rest of their lives.
Nothing wrong with feeling like shit. You're allowed. But why should other people have to feel like shit for it?
Fix yourself stupid nigger

>>40695836
>But why should other people have to feel like shit for it?
because i hate you. fuck you retard.

>>40695850
Has nothing to do with me. I don't give a shit about you.
Has to do with the people who actually know you and care about you.

>>40695863
im not talking about you you dumb fucking ape

>>40695235
I'm not strong enough for any of that. I've always been a passive and gentle person and the world grinds me into the dirt because of it. There's no reason to torture myself for a few more decades just to stick it to someone who doesn't even know I exist.

>>40695874
You're clearly confused.
You said that other people should feel like shit because you hate me. But I'm not talking about me, I'm talking about people who care about you. Nobody is talking about me here. Don't be a selfish faggot and don't push your failures onto other people by killing yourself. Fix yourself you pathetic worm

if you kill yourself and it gets caught on cctv just want you to know a lot of people would love to mock you and make meme videos out of your splattered body flying everywhere lmfao. thatll be your legacy just like the bridge tranny

>>40695903
dont reply to me again esl retard

>>40695931
At least she didn't have any pictures to make fun of, just a picture of a bridge

>>40695940
>ESL
lol sure buddy.
You're the cause of your problems.
Nobody else. Suicide is psychological abuse. You're the cause of your problems.
Nobody else. Suicide is psychological abuse. You're the cause of your problems.
Nobody else. Suicide is psychological abuse. You're the cause of your problems.
Nobody else. Suicide is psychological abuse.

>>40695965
chatbot broke lol

>>40696032
>lol it isn't perfectly syntaxed so I can go ahead and ignore the truth

>>40695965
stop harrassing suicidal people dipshit.

please keep harassing me so i do everyone a favor and finally end it

>>40696067
They know where to go or who to talk to if they are in distress. They are instead phishing for attention on 4chan and getting saucy with anyone pointing out that suicide is selfish.
I will have nothing but respect if I ever came across or knew someone in distress. This isn't that.

>>40696101
i called the suicide hotline and they told me to do it

>>40696110
I'm sure they did.
So why are you on 4chan listen to the suicide guys

>>40696138
okay

>>40696110
get off 4chan please, people here are too cynical and it's really bad to be around as a depressed person. just put the phone down somewhere out of sight and reach, relax, get something nice to eat, take it easy.