Thread 40752174

How do you find the motivation to any sort of transitioning, when you're convinced it's a waste of time. I'm 20 and about 3 months hrt but I've fried my brain with so much fucking worms and doo ming that it feels impossible for me to ever pass at all ever, and then it feels impossible to find the motivation ti put in the work that could make that possible because it feels pointless. Idk sorry i just need help because it has been 2 weeks straight now of me being unable to control myself and just non stop crying i wish i could ever be a woman ever but it's never going to happen

>>40752174 (OP)

get off this website and go embrace hyper positive spaces. when you've suppressed the brain worms via brainwashing long enough to put in the work, come back here for an honest opinion

repeat until you're happy

I also don't look anything like picrel I'm an ugly hon don't take me for some boymoder

>>40752201
I really don't buy the hyper positivity of them desu hell j don't even buy any nice thing people say about ne here cuz of hugboxxing idk

>>40752249

you need to lie to yourself until you believe it anyway you dumb nona. it doesn't matter whether or not its real, what matters is whether or not it makes you do useful things. if being correct means you be a lazy bitch who doesn't do shit, then the only option is to be wrong

>>40752264
I suppose yeah I'll try lie to myself but I'm a horrible liar. I'll go surround myself in thise areas where do you recommend cuz like idrk any positive places

>>40752287

go to reddit or some discord or whatever, lurk until you think you can copy the lingo, never mention you're from 4chan, accept as much of the goofyness as you can. treat everyone there with as much charity as you possibly can, don't have an autistic fit when they do the same to you.

if you find you can't do that in wherever you've found, move one step less hyperpositive. repeat until you find somewhere that stretches your capacity to cope but is still within reach.

most importantly, stay the fuck away from here. this place is a tar pit. believe in the lies nona. be free.

>>40752335
I already got perma banned from reddit for telling someone who was saying heighthons should be happy they're intimidating to kill themselves so that's not possible. Discord could work but I've already thrown one of those freak out autistic fits in one server over the exact same thing with about tall people being scary. Idk I'm still in another one but it's really really hard to not go insane on people when they like say all these nice things and especially when they pass too and are saying this stuff idk. I'm trying my best to be normal to them idk I'm definitely failing but I'm just trying to improve ig over time.

>>40752467

just lurk and make a new account and get a VPN or w.e. its hard and i know its hard when it all feels wrong and everything is screaming at you. just try to relax as much as you can, yeah? you don't have to uncritically swallow it, but if you can at least relax and not lose your shit, that's progress. do you think you can manage that?

>>40752505
I've tried making new accounts idk am i retarded I'll try the vpn but last time the account was restricted through a vpn. Anyway moreso I'll try but it's really hard i lose my shit at fucking everyone when it gets bad and lately it's been bad all the time. I'll try but i mean I've said I'll try so many times only to mess up immediately after so idk.

>>40752688

i'm sorry OP its hard and i know its hard... i know you've probably looked into psych and stuff. the only shitty advice i can give you is hang in there and keep trying to change. either you make it or you don't. i wish i could offer more.

>>40752174 (OP)
Try to get ALL the worms ASAP. Go through the suffering phase as quickly and harshly as possible. When you're just a man on estrogen it gets better.
Also don't go on discord if you're into men. Stay here, find generals you like, post there whenever something pops into your mind. It's gonna get better soon trust me.

>>40752942
Yeah, i think it's just going to be tough for a while and i gotta get through it
>>40752979
I think this is probably a good idea just get it done i mean I've been so scared of presenting fem i pretty much did it once 3 years ago and was so freaked out by how much of a hon i was i haven't done it again. I think if i went through it I'd see both how it's maybe not so bad and also just have it out of the way rather than dreading it and I'll start being able to get used to it>>40752942

>>40753202
Yeah idk for me I realized it's tocd, I've always been OCD. I'm not saying it should to you, but just sharing my experiences. The most important thing about OCD is that there's always a "desired outcome" and a fear. You will seek reassurance that the desired outcome is true and avoid things that might reinforce your fear.
I was looking for certainty that I am trans and seeking reinsurance of that fact.
Stop seeking reassurance. Accept uncertainty. OCD is widely misunderstood.
STOP SEEKING REASSURANCE. ACCEPT UNCERTAINTY.
I'm just a gay bro afraid of aging after all.
(sorry this is really not about you but I just had to share it)

>>40753305
I can't say I've ever experienced ocd before but it does seem kind of similar, however for me i almost feel like I'm seeking reassurance I'm not trans which is like the opposite. Constantly begging people to tell me that I'm actually just a disgusting moid fetishist that shouldn't transition. However i can also see how maybe you know i say all that in the hopes they say the opposite but I don't think that's right in my experience at least. Me transitioning is my attempt to accept uncertainty since I'm not really sure I'm trans at all but i could doubt myself for a million years and just be miserable forever or i could just fucking try it. Idk i do sometimes feel like maybe i do just have tocd but then i don't relate at all to constantly seeking reassurance I'm really trans, but it does certainly feel like this compulsive fixation generally on whether I'm trutrans or faketrans. Would you have any idea what it could mean to have tocd the other way? Like trying to reassure myself I'm actually just a cis male with a fetish and even if i was really trans it'd be a waste of time or whatever like idk. I've always been interested in tocd cuz i do kind of relate.

>>40753433
This exists, OCD can manifest around all sorts of themes. Your post reeks of it in fact.
> this compulsive fixation generally on whether I'm trutrans or faketrans.
been there done that. You have to let go of this compulsion. You have to accept being faketrans. Hell, if it helps, I'm faketrans. I'm right here with you. I still take E cause I like it tho.
Once you accept the fear it stops having power over you. You have to mock the fear. Haha I'm such a silly agp faggot sissy twink, I love getting fucked in the ass by men, but I also like topping them and frotting.
This board feeds OCD and reassurance-seeking. Stop with the labels, you be you. There's a million labels I could put on myself, yet I choose gay man on estrogen. The true self will always prevail.

>>40753678
This is definitely a great strategy for helping me with my faketrans agp brainworms thanks. I think idk in my mind i need to be a trutrans trans woman to be allowed hrt, but like loads of people take it who aren't trans and they're happy and fine, so i can be like that. Which just leaves my physical dysphoria to deal with but like without the mental load from the other shit it'll probably help me at least make changes to improve. Thanks, desu i was uncomfortable with the idea i could be trans ocd cuz like then surely I'm not allowed hrt but it is a lot more comforting to just imagine taking it anyway and transitioning anyway

Bump

>>40754465
Yeah I gotta relax into it. Transition is a series of decisions that u make.
Go along each step of the way and observe how you feel. If you're not feeling a deeper sense of comfort then I'd probably not for you or you're not ready yet.
Find your own path. It's YOUR journey, make it nice.

>>40756064
Thank you. I'm really not sure how i feel, i think i might feel slightly less comfortable on hrt desu but that's partially because I'm very uncomfortable manmoding vs repping, being a man with tits is embarrassing. It's also making me more directly face the reality of my situation that I'll likely not pass. However i think over time I'll become more comfortable idk. I think I've been taking it too slowly almost like I'm just depressed, i need to actually make progress and see the results of that to feel good, and i haven't been due to my laziness

>>40752201
That's the worst possible advice. Hugboxxing only maintains delusions

>>40756260
I need delusions at this point I'm ngl. Idk if i will end up doing that stuff though, it's too late for me to ever buy their lies, I've been in tttt spaces for as long as I've known i was trans so this is all i know desu. But i need to delude myself somewhat into thinking i can ever pass so i can put in the effort to achieve that so i can do the best i can.

>>40756203
Nah u take things at ur own pace. The tits are gonna take a few more months to be really noticeable unless you got crazy growth.
Play it down, nobody irl assumes tranny.

>>40756336
Yes i know, it still feels embarrassing to even have gyno tho like idk. And no I'm going too slow for my own good, i need to voice train and do makeup and practice fashion (ok this one can maybe wait until my body has changed more) and i especially need to get back into doing exercise. These will all make me feel better guaranteed, i know it but I've been too lazy and depressed to do them.

>>40756361
Do u pass in guy mode? If not just let it be.
When and if u start passing in guy mode is when voice training etc become important. Otherwise you're just a man sorry to break it to you.

>>40756435
I'm aware they won't make me pass right now that is not the point of it, I'm still going to be manmoding. However the idea is to have the practice done before so when (IF) i reach that point I'm ready. Plus idk at the very least I'd like to voice train so i can pass online. I don't expect these things to make me pass, i expect them to help mentally because I'll be making progress towards passing even if I don't reach it, rather than just waiting doing nothing but wallow in self misery

>>40756511
Why u wallow in self misery?

>>40756527
It's easier than doing stuff but the point is I'm going to try to stop by actually making progress towards stuff that'll help me present fem. Or is just good for me like exercise

>>40756654
good idea. Go out there, do stuff. As hard as it is to admit or might feel, gender and sex related issues are not all there is to life.

>>40756760
Absolutely, i agree. I'm looking forward to trying more stuff when I'm back in college

Bump

close this fucking board and come to your own conclusions.
randomly decided to open this board after like 5 months or so because there is nothing for me here other than negative thoughts