Thread 40794595

How do I know whether I'm gender dysphoric and not just an extremely self-loathing, depressed, anxious, emotionally unstable, dissociated, ego dystonic, schizoid, manic, vain, and idiotic cis man?

>>40794595 (OP)
Would you want to be a successful woman or a successful man?

>>40794609
I don't want to be a man, but I don't know whether I want to be a woman. It feels arbitrary to me

>>40794635
its ok most women dont want to be women either. but they are still women regardless, its just not a thing they really extensively think about. but chances are if you think about it more than they do then you may be trans

>>40794762
most cis people just never think about gender, not feeling like you have a gender isn't actually evidence of being a woman if you're amab. i at least always strongly wanted it, felt like i needed to be a woman

>>40794773
some women do feel like they dont have a gender tho. but if anything itd probably make you happier to transition without strictly being a woman

>>40794595 (OP)
Does it make you feel better if I say you sound kinda cool and the kind of person I'd weirdly look upto for being complicated and nuanced?

>>40794595 (OP)
When you close your eyes and imagine your ideal self what do you see? How do you imagine your future? How do you feel when you look in the mirror? How would you feel if you woke up in the morning in a woman's body?

>>40794786
i guess i just don't relate to it at all so it reads as non-binary to me instead of trans woman.

>>40794773
I have no clue what I want, and especially not what I need. I lack a consistent sense of self from being perpetually untethered from my self and life

>>40794635
this. 5 years transitioning now with all documents changed over and while its absolutely prefered to be feminine and refered to as a woman, its hard to say that i AM one. i wouldnt go back for a second though, life is a series of compromises and nothing is ever going to be 100% or perfect.

>>40794830
Imagining my ideal self is the same to me as imagining a stranger. I can't imagine any future for myself. I feel nothing when I look in the mirror. Waking up tomorrow in a woman's body could just as well be a dream come true, or a nightmare. I can't tell.
Only reason I think I might be trans are the sporadic moments where I am deeply melancholic because I'll never be a woman

>>40794958
describe those moments. what do you feel

>>40794836
you dont have to relate to women to be a woman.

i dont relate to them and im still a cis woman

>>40794803
You're getting the wrong impression from my post. I am a very boring, morose and awkward person to be around

>>40794982
Mostly envy and disappointment at what never was and never will be. They are mostly triggered by me seeing some cis women simply existing

>>40795042
okay that sounds a lot like what i felt when i was repping

>>40794762
>>40794786
>>40794985

>>40795075
What made you realize that you were actually repping?

>>40794595 (OP)
i myself have been having a lot of doubts recently, i don't relate at all to neither women or trannies, feel disgusting whenever i express femininity and am generally neurotic, lonely, vulnerable, feeling unfulfilled. i think i probably started trannying because i was bored, if i can even remember the original reason. now it's just an automatism to me that i want to take hrt and get ffs. but sometimes i can't help but look back on my life and think, wtf am i doing. is this really what i wanna be

>>40795204
there's no answer for this, it's just vibes.

>>40795114
why? i am right. a lot of women feel like this and theyre still women

>>40795204
seeing other troons talk about their dysphoria and realizing mine was worse than most of theirs. the only thing holding me back for years was that i thought you had to have tried to diy srs in the bathtub as a kid to be trans

>>40795275
Makes sense, but it's definitely not pragmatic. Especially when everything feels wrong

>>40795314
Whenever I read about other troons talk about their dysphoria, I am reminded that it was even foolish for me to consider whether I have gender dysphoria to begin with. Being a man is not something enjoyable for me though. I am wholly apathetic.

>>40794595 (OP)
occam's razor

>>40795248
I think I'll feel the exact same if I were to start transitioning, but also if I were not to

>>40795491
it's the etnrnal. to rep or not to rep

id like to believe that tranniness is just some mass delusion so that i could get this over with

>>40795557
eterna question

>>40794595 (OP)
Playing cruelty squad and achieving milestones with the game gives me life meaning eh

i dont know either op, sure i hated puberty, and sure i dont want to feel or look masculine, and sure im useless with women and spent my entire teens fantasizing about being cute and feminine. but ultimately i dont know what it means to want to be a woman, i dont want to be a woman, i dont want to be a man. i feel like i just got here and im supposed to just be something now? why am i supposed to be a man? or even a woman, it feels like genetics and society is just imposing that on me and i dont want anything to do with any of it.

>>40795557
I do feel like I was somehow mkultra'ed into this. The thought that I might be trans simply popped up in my mind one day

>>40795589
>sure i hated puberty, and sure i dont want to feel or look masculine, and sure im useless with women and spent my entire teens fantasizing about being cute and feminine
This doesn't apply to me at all. I don't remember at all how I felt about puberty, but I tried to make as much of it as I could, even with some reasonable success. There was also no desire to be cute and feminine, and there still is none now, but I am still envying women very much, just not really the cute and overtly feminine ones.

>i feel like i just got here and im supposed to just be something now? why am i supposed to be a man? or even a woman, it feels like genetics and society is just imposing that on me and i dont want anything to do with any of it.
This though perfectly describes how I feel about all of this.
I feel like both are good and horrible options at the same time as well. What society thinks about being a woman or a man couldn't interest me less.

>>40795582
Final milestone is S ranking all maps on Hope Eradicated only with the Zippy 3000 while wearing only the Extravagant Suit

>>40795613
i think if the internet wasn't a thing when i was young id probably be a regular chud

>>40795684
Too stupid sorry

>>40794595 (OP)
why not both
t. speaking from experience

Most mentally healthy repper